Co sleeping - is it safe at a certain age?

[flashy09]

I am the world's most paranoid first time Mom. I did the whole shebang for SIDS prevention - installed a ceiling fan and do every single recommendation. She sleeps right next to the bed in a Rock N Play.

I don't know if it's some sort of sleep regression or related to her recent intestinal issues, but she is getting up a lot during the night. I end up feeding her every time because nothing else works. So it's back to newborn stage fatigue and last night I brought her into bed at midnight, nursed her laying down and must have dozed off because I came to and she was nursing, but I had a feeling some time had passed....looked at my phone and it was 430 am!

It's scary to me because if I was going to co sleep I would have like to have planned it, but wow, that was awesome!!! Is there an age where SIDS and co sleeping is less of a risk? Is the risk more suffocation and not the true SIDS?

[Katigre]

Here is the deal: The risk with cosleeping is not SIDS itself (which by definition has no known cause), it is suffocation/overlying/etc... Basically, preventable issues in the right cosleeping environment with the right factors.

Have you read Dr. McKenna's work on the topic? I've coslept from birth with both kids and found his research immensely helpful.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/

[edurnemk]

Co-sleeping is safe at any age as long as you follow some rules. Deaths related to co-sleeping are mostly due to suffocation because parents didn't cosleep safely (fluffly bedding, pillows, one parent on medication / drunk/ etc.)

From Dr. Sears website: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/scientific-benefits-co-sleeping

"Decreases risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
Worldwide research shows that the SIDS rate is lowest (and even unheard of) in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, rather than the exception 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Babies who sleep either in or next to their parents’ bed have a fourfold decrease in the chance of SIDS 10. Co-sleeping babies actually spend more time sleeping on their back or side 1 which decreases the risk of SIDS. Further research shows that the carbon dioxide exhaled by a parent actually works to stimulate baby’s breathing 11."

More info: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/latest-research-co-sleeping-safety

Rules for safe co-sleeping: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/safe-co-sleeping-habits

I agree dozing off while nursing in bed is THE BEST. When I finally listened to a friend's advice and did it my life got easier. I decided to go for it after I dozed off while nursing on the glider, I woke up, more than 40 minutes had passed, DS had fallen asleep in my arms and sort of rolled towards the space between my breast and the nursing pillow. I freaked! I realized he could've suffocated, or he could've fallen to the floor.... I figured he was safer in bed. We never fully coslept, but after the 2 am nursing we'd usually fall asleep and he'd stay in my bed until the next nursing.

[daisymommy]

We cosleep with our babies from day one, and feel that it is very safe.

An article by Dr. Sears, re: cosleeping and SIDS. The end of the article has safe cosleeping advice.
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sids-latest-research-how-sleeping-your-baby-safe

Here is some information from the Notre Dame Mother Baby Sleep Laboratory:
http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

[Katigre]

There are a few *significant* factors for safe cosleeping:

1. The reverse C position where mother curls her body around her infant, providing a protective cocoon and easy access to the breast (it also prevents overlying as you can't roll over with your legs bent up).
2. Both parents planned to and agreed to cosleeping - then it is no surprise to find the baby in the bed when you stir/move/wake-up as you intentionally did it before going to sleep.
3. Breastfeeding - if a mother is not breastfeeding (at the breast - bottlefeeding pumped milk does not count) then the safety issues substantially increase. Dr. McKenna has a lot of research on the topic b/c nursing in particular has a different set of hormonal responses between mother AND baby that provide protection while cosleeping.

[Jacksmommy2b]

A huge :yeahthat: and an amen to the above posters.

I have also bed shared with both of my boys. J from about a month old and S from day one. It has been wonderful for our family.

I have a net on one side of the bed and sleep in the C position with baby on the net side.

[JBaxter]

Bed sharer here also. My grandmother never owned a crib bed sharing has been going on since babies were being born.

[Kira's Mommy]

Another :yeahthat: to the PPs.

We co-sleep from birth and love it. We have a king size, I don't use pillows or comforters (I just wear warm pjs), our mattress is firm, I breastfeed, I never put the baby between myself and DH. As a mom you'll always *feel* where the baby is, dads don't always have the same talent.

[truly scrumptious]

I just want to chime in because I was exactly like you. As a FTM between all the literature and the hospital (nurses, classes etc.) I was terrified out of cosleeping with DS, and felt terribly guilty if it happened by accident. When he was older (8+ months) I would nap next to him during the day and also found he slept much better next to me when he was sick.
With my second (DD) I was a lot less paranoid and I coslept from day 1 and I have to say it made all the difference. Night nursing was so much easier, I woke up so much more rested, she slept longer stretches. Now even at 13 mo we bring her into our bed when she's unwell or teething etc and everyone is much happier.
What helped a lot for us was getting a bigger bed (so we weren't afraid of rolling onto her by accident) and using a cosleeper (Arms Reach) for the first few months. That way I could put her there even when we were not in the room (during dinner) and just shift her over onto the bed later at night. It also provided a barrier, which allowed me to have her on either side at night (much easier for nursing and prevented stiffness from only sleeping on one side.)
Hope this helps! I really love cosleeping with her and wish I had done it more with DS. (Now I'll spend a night in his bed (he's 3) every now and then just to cuddle him and make up for the missed opportunity!)

[swissair81]

For me, it's not safe to not cosleep. I always fall asleep while nursing at night. If I am not planning to cosleep, I fall asleep upright with my baby in my arms (which is not safe). When I do plan to cosleep, I get into a safe position with my newborn before I fall asleep. I think anyone would agree that is safer.

[daisymommy]

Forgot to add: this is an ingenius little bed safety wedge that prevents baby from rolling off the side of the bed: Infant L-shape only $19.50
http://www.gobedbug.com/GOPAGES/infantcosleep.htm

We always used a cosleeper on my side of the bed, and had the Daddy-Mother-Baby arrangement as suggested by cosleeping experts. That way if baby were to roll, the cosleeper was right there, and there was only a 2" drop into it. But I know most people don't have one.

[queenmama]

We co-slept with Henry from birth and are doing it again with Agnes, 12 years later.

I honestly find more peace of mind having them right next to me. I tried a bassinet, pack n play... It freaked me out that i couldnt look right over to check that all is well.

And the baby goes in the middle. I'm too worried about rolling out of bed (when they reach that stage).

As far as Daddy goes, he made the comment the other night, "i don't see how parents roll over their kids. I'm very aware of her. I probably dont sleep as well with her, but I like having her here with us."

Sent from the HTC Vivid 4G LTE via Tapatalk 2

[fumofu]

Coslept with DS1 until 9 months before we moved him to the crib. I wanted my bed back! because he would basically sleep next to daddy and I would get the foot of the bed...

This time around, we have a cosleeper for DS2 during the day, then I move him to our bed while I sleep.

[daniele_ut]

I never really relax when there is a baby in the bed so I don't sleep very well. I co-slept a little bit with DD, but never with my oldest DS and never with my nearly 5 month old either.

I just wanted to let you know that her sleeping habits right now are totally normal and that DS is doing the exact same thing. It's midnight here and I just finished feeding him and he'll be back up again in 3 hours. He was previously sleeping through the night, but has been up 3x a night for the past 2 weeks. It's commonly called the 4 month sleep regression. It will pass, eventually, but it's a drag!

[JanBaby]

My DS slept great at 2 months and then we hit all kinds of issues at 3 months - colds, growth spurt, regression, you name it. He slept horribly in his crib so we got a Rock N Play and he did better for maybe a week and then up several times again. When we brought him in for his 4 month appt the dr said he wants to be able to move and he can't in the RNP. We put him back in the crib unswaddled about 5 days ago and he is doing great. First night was a little rough but not much worse than what we were dealing with anyways. He sleeps on his side and belly now and is much happier.

Just wanted to throw out another option since I could have written you post about a week ago!

[momm]

I just want to add:

As PPs have said, co-sleeping and SIDS are not related. i.e. co-sleeping does not cause SIDS. SIDS is unexplained death.
co-sleeping may be harmful only in cases where one parent is under medication/ an extremely heavy sleeper.. i.e. if it's at all likely that they will roll over the baby and suffocate them.
As long as that risk is not there, and you keep your blankets at YOUR waist level, co-sleeping is the safest, and the easiest way to sleep, and also most wonderful way of binding with your baby as well.

Good luck!

[Liziz]

Here is the deal: The risk with cosleeping is not SIDS itself (which by definition has no known cause), it is suffocation/overlying/etc... Basically, preventable issues in the right cosleeping environment with the right factors.

Have you read Dr. McKenna's work on the topic? I've coslept from birth with both kids and found his research immensely helpful.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/

Totally off-topic, but I just had to comment on how fun it is to see Dr. McKenna's name here...I took tap dance lessons from him while in college, he's amazing (as a professor/person and as a tap dancer, that is!).

[flashy09]

Thanks so much to everyone. I think I have a very safe setup...king sized bed, tempurpedic mattress (very firm), and I am a very light sleeper. I do have a co sleeper that I used for the first few weeks before she started spitting up so badly that I switched to the RNP. But I could put the co sleeper next to the bed like suggested to prevent her falling.

She goes to bed way before me so will probably start off in her RNP, but I might plan to keep her with me after her first wakeup.

It was so amazing how she just found her way to the breast on her own without making a sound. The RNP is right next to the bed, but I still have to get out of bed and lean down to get her and then do the same thing to put her back....when it happens multiple times during the night it does start to get tiring!

I will read all the links everyone provided and make sure I know everything about keeping it safe. Thanks again!

[daisymommy]

Oh yes, cosleeping + nursing = heavenly lots of sleep!!! I barely even woke up when I nursed. Just enough to lift my shirt, the baby would latch on, and I would drift off back to sleep. It was awesome! I truly wouldn't say that I was ever sleep deprived with my 2 babies that I nursed. Only the first one that was bottle fed.

[sunnyside]

Forgot to add: this is an ingenius little bed safety wedge that prevents baby from rolling off the side of the bed: Infant L-shape only $19.50
http://www.gobedbug.com/GOPAGES/infantcosleep.htm




We use the gobedbug wedge and it's awesome. Well worth it.

[flashy09]

Those wedges look a great idea - but here is my paranoia coming up - are they safe if the baby rolls into it? They don't look very breathable from what I can see.

But I guess that brings up my question - is there an age where the baby will turn his head and not suffocate against a bumper/pillow/person? That is what worries me about co sleeping. I know I won't roll onto her, but what will she move her head away from my skin well enough after feeding? Or in this case away from the wedge?

[edurnemk]

Those wedges look a great idea - but here is my paranoia coming up - are they safe if the baby rolls into it? They don't look very breathable from what I can see.

But I guess that brings up my question - is there an age where the baby will turn his head and not suffocate against a bumper/pillow/person? That is what worries me about co sleeping. I know I won't roll onto her, but what will she move her head away from my skin well enough after feeding? Or in this case away from the wedge?

Yes, babies with good head control, and who can roll over do turn their heads aways from a surface. I don't remember exactly at what age, though.

[Giantbear]

Funny, we never co-slept, dd was always in the bassinet, car seat or crib until recently. She has been going through a nighttime separation thing around 4am, so i sometimes take her into bed with us at that time. My wife is a heavy sleeper who moves around, but i am a light sleeper who does not move. DD sleeps with her head on my pillow, one arm under her and one arm cradling her toushy. I was always afraid to co-sleep when she was little and would only do it when she was real sick, but i would not sleep then. Now she is 26lbs and fully mobile, so i don't worry too much about crushing her. Now my worry is that she will hog the pillow, which she does :(

[daisymommy]

Since you have the cosleeper, I would just skip the bed wedge. No point in my opinion. The great thing with the cosleeper is during the night if you start feeling cramped or want some extra space, you can usually scoot baby over into the cosleeper. Then scoop her back when she's hungry or fussy.

But as far as the wedge, as the previous poster said, once she can hold up her head, turn it from side to side, and roll over, you're fine. It would be the same if she was in her crib and you wouldn't need to worry anymore about her not lifting her face off the mattress.
It's really more about baby's developmental ability than age, since all babies are different.

[swissair81]

Here is the deal: The risk with cosleeping is not SIDS itself (which by definition has no known cause), it is suffocation/overlying/etc... Basically, preventable issues in the right cosleeping environment with the right factors.

Have you read Dr. McKenna's work on the topic? I've coslept from birth with both kids and found his research immensely helpful.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/

I particularly liked this article: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/what-every-health-professional-should-know/