Groups of 3...

[KpbS]

What do you guys think--can groups of women be successful with only 3 ladies?

I've seen the odd man out happen repeatedly with kids but what about adults? Are women better at relating in a group of 3 or is someone always destined to have hurt feelings? I've been wondering about this lately and am curious about your thoughts and experiences.

ETA Sorry about the double post--trying to post a poll

[elektra]

I think two people are always going to be closer, or you have one person who is close to the other two equally, but the other two are not close with each other.

But adults can be mature enough to not take things personally, or talk behind each others backs. So I think it can be done if you have 3 great people. However, I think adults are often guilty of behaving badly too, so I do think the odds are stacked against groups of 3 in general.

[elephantmeg]

I'm part of a group of 3 that is working pretty well. We try to go out once a month. In reality its more like 5 times a year! We're in pretty different places in our lives:
I work FT night shift/2 kids (and done)
H is a teacher/no kids-TTC with lots of issues :(
K is a SAHM who has 3 bio kids and is pregnant with #4 and has a foster she is adopting and one that will be a long term foster (the girl is 17 and doesn't want to be adopted).

[SnuggleBuggles]

My group is a threesome and it works for us. We have a good energy together. But, nOne of us are catty and are pretty easy going. 2 of us are closer and hang out together more- that friend is really the glue bc she reaches out to us more than we reach out to each other.

[TwinFoxes]

I think it can definitely work. But there are some people who thrive on drama, or who are always looking for a chance to be insulted/slighted/looked at funny. If they're one of the three, then no way.

[Liziz]

I think it can work, but almost always two of the three will be closer. If the third person doesn't mind that the other two are a bit closer, it can work great. If not, it probably won't long term. I used to be part of a group of three....the other two were definitely closer than I was to them. For example, the three of us would go out/get together frequently, but the other two would also often do things and not include me. They talked on the phone with each other more, emailed more, would just go out to dinner together sometimes w/o inviting me, etc. This didn't bother me at all -- I think partly because I was in a serious relationship (engaged to DH at the time), while both of them were single. And I was more of a homebody than either of them. Also, when the three of us were together, I never felt like the odd person out (we'd all get along fine), so it worked. But, I can easily see how it wouldn't have worked with everyone...some people would be offended/upset not to be included in all activities/phone calls/emails, etc.

[DietCokeLover]

In general, I don't think it works well. Someone is usually the third wheel, or feels like they are the third wheel. I do think there are situations where it works, but it has been my experience that those are rare.

[MaiseyDog]

I have two great friends and I would say that we all consider each other to be our best friends. We don't have any problems with the dynamics. We are all in the same profession, but all work at different places. We all have 2 kids each, although mine are the oldest. We have an understanding that what is told to one friend is okay to be told to the other, so we don't really worry about the whole "talking behind the back" thing. I think it works because be are coming at the friendship from the same perspectives and as equals - no one is jockying for social position and no one is the leader. Technology also helps because due to the nature of our jobs and life, the majority of our non face-to-face communication is done through group text messaging so even if you aren't available to talk, you can still see what's been going on with everyone and there isn't a feeling of being left out. It works for us so I think the dynamic is definately doable, however I do see how it is a difficult set up depending on the personalities involved.

[amldaley]

I think it TOTALLY depends on the people. It is not the easiest dynamic to keep up with equally on all sides but it is absolutely possible.

[hellokitty]

In general, I don't think it works well. Someone is usually the third wheel, or feels like they are the third wheel. I do think there are situations where it works, but it has been my experience that those are rare.

:yeahthat:

[misshollygolightly]

My best writing group consisted of three women. We were all three good friends. It's funny because the other two women were closer in age (I was the youngest of the group by a good bit), but the oldest woman and I were both married w/ children (the other woman was single). I think one reason our friendship and collaborative work went so smoothly was that we had a good deal in common among the three of us, but we were all at slightly different stages in life. It seemed to reduce any competitiveness, and also meant that we all brought slightly different perspectives that complemented each other well.

A couple years ago the single woman moved away and, since then, the oldest woman and I have become much closer. I consider her my best friend. But we do all three occasionally collaborate on projects and share papers when the opportunity arises, and I feel certain we'd all still be equally close if we lived in the same geographic area.

I definitely think groups of 3 women can work.

[jgenie]

My group is a threesome and it works for us. We have a good energy together. But, nOne of us are catty and are pretty easy going. 2 of us are closer and hang out together more- that friend is really the glue bc she reaches out to us more than we reach out to each other.

This is our group to a T right down to the glue!

[g-mama]

It depends. It can be tough. I know because I'm living this situation right now. I am the one who is sometimes the odd man out and, right or wrong, my feelings get hurt sometimes.

The other two will go out without including me and then tell me about it. Now would it be worse if they didn't say anything? I don't know. But sometimes I feel like one in particular wants me to know to show a little bit of oneupmanship. I go up and down in terms of letting it bother me. Maybe it stings because initially, I was friends with one woman and then the third one came along after the fact, and they are now closer.