If you have a really tall or really short kid, do they get teased at school?

[ourbabygirl]

I know I probably shouldn't worry about this so early, but just wondering if this will be a problem when my kids get to school. DD is really tall for her age (high 90th percentile; always has been), and DS is pretty 'petite.' He's 50th percentile for height, but below the curve for height/ weight ratio (he's 1.5).

What's been your experience, if you have a kid on one extreme end of height? Especially if they're a bit out of 'traditional gender expectations?'

Thanks for your input!

[BillK]

Well for us both are on the shorter end of the spectrum and so far it's not been an issue. Zach is 7 and almost 50" in first grade and he's one of the smaller kids but it hasn't been a problem. Ben is VERY small at 5 years old and just barely 40" but again being in preschool it's not been a problem. His preschool class photo is funny this year. He looks like someone in his classes little brother that snuck into the photo.

I believe we won't have any problems with either ones size moving forward as they both have personalities that will offset. Zach is kind of a social butterfly and it's like all the kids like him and Ben has a very "big" personality and kind of that "don't give damn attitude" so ultimately I think they'll both be ok. I hope...

[Green_Tea]

My son is the shortest kid in his K class, and my DD2 is the shortest kid in her 2nd grade class and her softball team which is a mix of 1st and 2nd graders. Their personalities more than make up for what they lack in height, and AFAIK they've never been teased. I am super short (under 5 feet) and have never been given a hard time about my size.

ETA: I remember several smaller boys in middle school who had big, booming personalities - they were friendly and extroverted and smart - and they were among the most popular boys in my class.

Also, DD2's best friend is the TALLEST girl in her class. The two of them look mighty cute together. I have never heard from her mom that her height was an issue.

[crl]

DS is quite tall, but there has always been at least one ther kid in his cases as tall or close to it. He's not off the charts or anything just 90th percentile. Never been teased about his height afaik.

Catherine

[brgnmom]

OP, my kids are similar in terms of my DS being on the so-called petite side (he is around the 25th-50th percentiles) and my DD being taller (95+th percentile for height and 50th for weight). DS doesn't get teased at school. He is still taller than some boys at school even though he is younger than all but one in his class.

MIL is the one who has pointed out that DS is "short" and DS wasn't quite happy to hear that on speaker-phone while I was talking to MIL. I wasn't all that happy either given her tone about the observation.

[hellokitty]

DS1, who is 8, is the smallest (aka scrawniest) and shortest kid in his class. He's consistently always hung out at about the 5th%ile or lower. So far, it has not been an issue, as far as I know, BUT he is definitely a non-athletic and clumsy kind of kid. So, we have tried to work on it (he's in martial arts), but he just tends to be kind of eccentric and marches to his own beat. So, if he gets teased, I would attribute it more to do with his weird quirks than his body size. I know some boys who are smaller than others who tend to be the bullies. So, I don't necessarily assume that just b/c they are smaller, that they are the ones getting picked on. Sometimes the smallest ones are the biggest bullies.

[Simon]

Ds1 is around 10% of height and 3% for weight. Yeah, he's small. I don't think he has been teased, per se, but he is very aware that he is the smallest and it makes him sad. It doesn't help that he is in a K/1 split so there are some much taller/older boys in there. Ds1 is very friendly but not likely to ever have the big, booming personality that might make up for size. He is on the sensitive/anxious end of the scale and I am worried about how he'll fare as he ages.

Luckily, or not, Ds2 is also small so he isn't likely to outgrow Ds1 for some years. Dh's younger brother outgrew him during elementary school, I think, and they are nearly 4 years apart in age. Ds3 is the longest/biggest of my kids, though he's barely 50%. I'll be interested to see if that sticks.

[Gracemom]

Both my kids are tall, and so far they like it. My DS is off the growth chart, and his two best friends are tiny next to him. It has never been an issue. Everyone is aware of who is the tallest and who is the shortest, but there has been no teasing that I know of.

[cono0507]

I was always the tallest girl growing up and in 7th grade, I was taller than all of the boys AND girls. In high school the boys caught up and were taller than me. Honestly, it was never an issue and I've always enjoyed being tall.

[swissair81]

My DD1 is one of the tallest kids in her third grade (nearly 5'). She gets teased more because she's super skinny, I think. The one insult that will make her cry is 'bony', and I'm not entirely sure it's always meant as an insult. My other girls are much shorter, and while my son is 90th percentile for height, he doesn't seem to stand out as much as my oldest does.

[deborah_r]

DS1 has pretty much been the shortest in his grade all along now (he is in 3rd grade) and no teasing yet that I am aware of. I'm sure it will happen eventually :(

[niccig]

DS is one of the shortest kids anytime we go anywhere. It's never been an issue. DH was the shortest kid until junior high then grew to average height. There's nothing you can do about your child's height, so this isn't something I worry about.

[daphne]

Once in awhile - mostly on the bus. DS is always the tallest in his class & he stands out because of it. He's also a husky boy, so I'm not sure if he is sometimes teased because he's tall or husky (or both). :(

[mommytoC]

My DDs are both very tall (just above the 97th percentile for age), and like it/haven't been teased so far (at 6.5 and 3). I was similarly tall as a child, but the youngest in my class - I don't remember ever minding being tall, but definitely minded (at the time) being a "late bloomer".

I had to LOL re: Green Tea's comments. My DDs have good friends (sisters, the same ages as my DDs) who are the shortest in their class(es), and I agree that they're awfully cute standing side by side!

[tarahsolazy]

I have a tiny DD, who at 5 is 38 inches tall, which is the 1st percentile. She is the smallest kid in her 3-6 yr Montessori classroom, but it doesn't seem to bother her at all.

She has a HUGE personality, although I don't think that has anything to do with being short, its just being Berit.

She plays a lot with a boy in her class who is crazy tall, which is funny to see.

I am short, about 5'1", and I never minded a bit, so I hope she doesn't either. My DS is on the short side of average, 50 inches at age 8, and he fits right in with his peers, height-wise.

(MommytoC, wouldn't it be fun to see our kids together!)

[Tondi G]

NOPE! I have tall boys. DS1 is 10 and 5'4'' tall. he is also a chubby kid. He doesn't get teased at all. He is a real likable guy and hasn't had any issues with his height or his weight.

DS2 is also tall for his age. Tallest kid in 1st grade. Again no issues with teasing.

[daisysmom]

I have a 5 year old DD who has been the tallest in all of her preschool classes. She was off the chart tall until last year, and last year was the 97th% but this year (last week) is the 90th% so is slowing down. She is 46 inches tall and 48 lbs. I don't hear any teasing from others... but they do comment that she is the tallest. She has become a little more self aware and questioning herself recently "why am I bigger than the other kids?". She is best friends with a girl who can only be 1-2 inches shorter but is far thinner so I think there is a lot of comparison. We have a really tall neighbor who is super nice, 6 foot even with long blond hair, and I love that she is a role model for how attractive being tall can be. Grown ups will often say "wow she has gotten tall" to us and I will often immediately point out how beautiful and tall our neighbor is and how we can borrow all her lovely clothes if we get that tall.

[g-mama]

Yes.

My 8.5 year old is in the 4th percentile for height and below the chart for weight. He has been teased by a few other kids, one relentlessly until I spoke to his teacher about it. "Oh, B, it looks like you grew over the weekend! Oh wait, my bad. You're still a shrimp." There are many other examples.

Last week after school at the playground, he was playing tag with a boy who I know was in ds' same grade. The boy's dad yelled, "Come on, son, you'd better outrun that boy! He's five years younger than you!!" I saw ds turn around and saw his face drop.

Ironically, his soccer coach nicknamed him "the wall" last season b/c he is a defensive player and comes up against boys who he only reaches their chest and has no fear. :love-retry:

My 6 year old is in the 6th percentile for height and below the charts for weight. He has not encountered any issues but they didn't start this young for his brother either.

I have to add that I think it's kind of funny when people say that yes, their child is short and then say they're in the 50th percentile!

[roobee]

DD is the shortest in her class- I think she's like in the 5th percentile. I love how tiny she is, except sometimes I don't - sometimes it bothers me that she's so little, but she hasn't been teased about it. I'm 5'1" and wish I was taller (and thinner - ha!).

I think the times her height bothers me the most is when she's playing with my niece who is probably in the 95th percentile and is nearly is as tall as I am. Both DD and DN are 7 and I would say there is a 12 inch difference in height between them.

As a parent I would gladly take "too little" DD over "too big" DN's problems. DN has been teased at school about her size (height and weight), it's hard to remember that she really is only 7, she can't find age appropriate clothes, etc. All DD has to deal with is the occasional stranger asking her if she's 4 or 5 :)

[brittone2]

Yes.


Ironically, his soccer coach nicknamed him "the wall" last season b/c he is a defensive player and comes up against boys who he only reaches their chest and has no fear. :love-retry:


I LOL at this. My kids are both shorter. DD is definitely short for her age, DS1 is on the shorter side of average.

DS1 is young for his LL team. Most of the kids are 3rd graders and he's an 8 yo 2nd grader. There's another kid on the team who is really, really small (also 8 and a 2nd grader).

Several parents on the team drive me NUTS (just non stop bragging about their kids that almost sounds like something from a SNL skit), and the parental behavior is just generally awful. Anyway, during the first few practices and games DH and I noticed right away that this small kid is an *amazing* athlete. He does gymnastics and placed 4th in a state competition. He's fierce and fearless and always ready, always focused, has a lot of drive, and it is very obvious to us. But the other parents are like <snotty scoff> "Oh, I don't think 2nd graders should be allowed to play on the AA team. Oh, and that kid is SO small. Isn't he cute though?"

Well that small kid? He won both the pitching and running portion of the pitch, hit, and run competition locally. They only let him have one of the awards as a result so another kid could win the other award that he really won. But he's talented! Really talented. But the ridiculous parents couldn't look past his size and see his athleticism. The funny part is they brag about their own kids, who for the most part are not superstars. At all.

DH and I love rooting for him :) He's awesome! I love his focus and athleticism, and I kind of love that it irritates the braggart parents that this little guy is so good ;)

[cuca_]

My DD2 is off the charts and has always been one of the tallest in her class, if not the tallest. She has not been teased about it at all. She is the same height as my oldest DD (85th percentile or so) who is two years older than her. It was really evident in preschool, where she always towered over the other kids. But so far, in K and 1st there has always been a kid or two who are tall like her.

[Green_Tea]

Last week after school at the playground, he was playing tag with a boy who I know was in ds' same grade. The boy's dad yelled, "Come on, son, you'd better outrun that boy! He's five years younger than you!!" I saw ds turn around and saw his face drop.



I would have kicked that man in the balls. HARD.

[noodle]

DD is pretty tall. And the only people who bug her about it are adults.
Just this afternoon, a dad called out to me from across the parking lot, "Isn't she too tall to be a first grader?" I called back (with a smile), "Nope! She's the perfect size!"
I used to laugh it off, but now I try really hard to be positive about her body and dismissive of anyone who makes that sort of comment. Especially when they do so right. in. front. of her. :duh:

[elephantmeg]

not so far in K. They all seem pretty oblivious thankfully! DS is 75% (4 ft tall at his checkup this week!) and there is 1 kid taller. There is a kid that looks about 3 in the class too

[hellokitty]

Kristen, that stinks. DS1 is 8 yrs old, but literally the tiniest kid in his class. I am used to it, but I have noticed that as he gets older, the size gap is becoming more increasingly obvious btwn him and his peers (ie: he used to look like a little bit smaller, but now he looks a LOT smaller). Anyway, DH said that at martial arts a few wks ago, they were grappling and the teacher matched them up by age. The other boy was the same age as DS1 but was noticeably bigger. He kept asking my son, "You're EIGHT? Are you sure you're 8, you don't look big enough to be 8!" I know the other kid wasn't trying to be mean, but he was having a hard time understanding why my son looks like a 5-6 yr old. In fact DS2 is the same height, BUT weighs more than DS1 (DS2 is 6). I don't know if it bothers DS1 that much or not, he is usually pretty aloof to this type of stuff, but yeah, I do worry that as he gets older, it may be something he gets picked on about, esp since he is basically a nerd too.



Yes.

My 8.5 year old is in the 4th percentile for height and below the chart for weight. He has been teased by a few other kids, one relentlessly until I spoke to his teacher about it. "Oh, B, it looks like you grew over the weekend! Oh wait, my bad. You're still a shrimp." There are many other examples.

Last week after school at the playground, he was playing tag with a boy who I know was in ds' same grade. The boy's dad yelled, "Come on, son, you'd better outrun that boy! He's five years younger than you!!" I saw ds turn around and saw his face drop.

Ironically, his soccer coach nicknamed him "the wall" last season b/c he is a defensive player and comes up against boys who he only reaches their chest and has no fear. :love-retry:

My 6 year old is in the 6th percentile for height and below the charts for weight. He has not encountered any issues but they didn't start this young for his brother either.

I have to add that I think it's kind of funny when people say that yes, their child is short and then say they're in the 50th percentile!

[nmosur]

This has been on top of DD's school issues this year. She is the smallest kid in the school, I think (kindergarten). She almost six, she weighs 38 lbs and 43 inches. Add to the fact that she is NOT a big risk taker when it comes to physical stuff and she still uses a car seat, it has made her the target for a lot of name calling like "baby", "you are tiny", "you are small" etc. I had to approach the teacher about it.

[Simon]

I have to add that I think it's kind of funny when people say that yes, their child is short and then say they're in the 50th percentile!

:yeahthat:

I am sorry to hear your son has been teased. I think we're headed that way.

I do think that at early ages, extra height can be a real liability because people think your kid is older and expect more and maybe age inappropriate things re:development. I know I have been guilty of thinking a 3yo was really 5yo and judging her on that error. That was a big lesson for me and now I try to make sure I know kids' ages if I am teaching/supervising them.

[ilfaith]

DS1 takes after my husband's family, and is tall and stocky (95th percentiles). He'll be eight next month and already his feet are as big as mine and his wrists are bigger. He is the youngest boy in his class, but would be the biggest in his class if not for one boy who is off the charts...over 5 feet tall and husky...he looks more like a 6th grader than a 2nd grader. I remember having a conversation with his mother about how people expect him to be more mature because he looks so much older than he is, when he acts like a normal eight-year-old.

DS2, on the other hand, is the smallest boy in his class. He isn't super tiny (around 30th percentiles) but with an August birthday, he is also among the youngest. He's only in kindergarten, and as far as I know, he doesn't get teased about his size. Like many others (myself included) he seems to compensate for what he lacks in stature with a big personality. My family is all on the small side. I am 5'2", my mom is 5'1" and is taller than both of her sisters. My dad is 5'6". My brother is the giant of our family at a perfectly average 5'10" (I think he rounds up from a shade over 5'9"). I have adult male cousins ranging from about 5'2" to 5'8". So in spite of DH's tall genes, there is a good chance DS2 will always be on the small side.

DS3 is somewhere in the middle...of course he isn't even three yet.

[g-mama]

He kept asking my son, "You're EIGHT? Are you sure you're 8, you don't look big enough to be 8!" I know the other kid wasn't trying to be mean, but he was having a hard time understanding why my son looks like a 5-6 yr old.

Ugh. I know exactly what you mean. My 8yo has come home many times describing really similar situations. "You're in SECOND GRADE?!?? That's just not possible! You're so small!!" On the playground, on the bus... And he could be in THIRD GRADE! We redshirted him. And thank goodness we did. But really, that was just one of many, many reasons we didn't send him on time.

It's hard to see your kids struggle in any way, isn't it?

[hillview]

both boys are tall. I don't think they get teased about it. They are likely per the pedi to be tall kids. I was a tall girl and at times felt odd about that and getting tall dates was a challenge.

[crl]

:yeahthat:

I am sorry to hear your son has been teased. I think we're headed that way.

I do think that at early ages, extra height can be a real liability because people think your kid is older and expect more and maybe age inappropriate things re:development. I know I have been guilty of thinking a 3yo was really 5yo and judging her on that error. That was a big lesson for me and now I try to make sure I know kids' ages if I am teaching/supervising them.

This does happen, but fortunately for us, more when ds was too little to understand really. He was also really good at gross motor skills so I remember being asked at the playground a couple of times if he was a kindergartner--he was TWO. It was even harder because he was actually delayed in speech and fine motor skills so the disconnect was huge. My mom had similar problems with my brother (who ended up being six ft four.).

Catherine

[lizzywednesday]

...

I do think that at early ages, extra height can be a real liability because people think your kid is older and expect more and maybe age inappropriate things re:development. I know I have been guilty of thinking a 3yo was really 5yo and judging her on that error. That was a big lesson for me and now I try to make sure I know kids' ages if I am teaching/supervising them.

My DD is 75th percentile for height & weight. She's been 50th-75th her whole life.

My DH and I are not petite. He is 6'4" and I am 5'8".

DD has NO chance to be petite. NONE.
In fact, she's almost as tall as her 6 and 7 year old cousins.
And she's 2.

I was always tall and awkward. I was always teased, but not necessarily about my height. Mostly about how easily I cried in school - most of it had to do with frustration that I didn't get everything exactly right the first time I tried it - and then how easily I cried because the kids teased me. I developed a thick enough skin by the 5th or 6th grade to tell those kids off, especially if they picked on other kids.

It made school dances really awkward because all the guys avoided me because I was several inches taller than most of them.

[GeekGirl]

:yeahthat: to what lizzywednesday said. My niece has always been exceptionally tall (my brother is 6'10 and SIL is 5'10), has a biggish frame, and appears several years older than she is. She has been extremely body conscious since she was about 3, mostly because adults have repeatedly said to her "You're so tall! Wow, you just keep getting bigger and bigger!" To her ears, it comes across as "You're not like your friends at all. What's wrong with you?" Breaks my heart.

She's also a bit immature, so people expecting her to act 8 or 9 when she was 5 and their disapproval when she didn't has also fed into her self-consciousness.

I'm 5'11 and my husband is 6'3, so we expect our LO to be tall, as well. While doing everything we can to bolster and support DN, we are also taking notes on what we can do to help shape being tall into a positive from our daughter's perspective. (FTR, I love being tall but was one of those short, skinny kids with big feet who didn't get tall until adolescence. I don't have the same experience as DN.)

ETA: DN has been the subject of some teasing, although I think the adults have been worse than the kids so far. Our family is very wary of what adolescence might bring in terms of peer cruelty rearing its head. She's currently 9.

[carolinamama]

DS1 is small - short and skinny. Around 10th percentile at age 6. He knows he is small but hasn't been too bothered by it. He is old for his grade having missed the cutoff by 10 days so he doesn't stick out like a sore thumb but that's against kids almost a year younger. He is athletic and loves sports, esp basketball so it will be interesting to see what happens down the road.

[lizzywednesday]

DS1 is small - short and skinny. Around 10th percentile at age 6. He knows he is small but hasn't been too bothered by it. He is old for his grade having missed the cutoff by 10 days so he doesn't stick out like a sore thumb but that's against kids almost a year younger. He is athletic and loves sports, esp basketball so it will be interesting to see what happens down the road.

Some of the best basketball players, male and female, I knew growing up were short, so as long as he has the skill, I truly believe that he'll be able to make up the height difference.

So, basically, that's a long way of saying not to rule out basketball just because he's short now.

[anamika]

DD is short and is at 3% for ht and wt.
She is super sensitive about her ht. She missed the cutoff by 6 weeks so she is one of the oldest in class which helps.
Her bone age shows she is roughly 5 yo (she is actually 7) so she has a lot of catching up to do. We have explained this to her so that helps a bit. I signed her up for gymnastics where size doesn't matter so much.
But ultimately she has to make her own peace with her body shape.
Her best friend is super tall. He outgrew the playground bars and rings at age 5 or less. They look so cute together.

[megs4413]

I have a very tall kid (DD, 90th percentile) and a very small kid (DS 6th percentile). So far, only my small kid has had issues. He's not even in school yet, but he gets a lot of comments on the playground. A lot of times he'll try playing with another kid and the kid will call him a baby because he looks about 3. So far, he's taking it in stride. I am hoping for some growth. We are not small people, so it is a little odd that DS is so small. I was 5'9 at 12 years old and dealt with some pretty significant bullying. I played a lot of sports, though, so it didn't really get to me. It was such an asset in volleyball and basketball to be tall that it was paying dividends for me athletically even if it was a social liability. It helped that I didn't stay gangly...My figure filled in by the time I was 13, so I had a grown up's body. That presents its own challenged, but socially it was much easier than being a beanpole! LOL I ended up ast 5'10, so not nearly the "jolly green giant" the kids made me out to be in middle school. :P

[daisysmom]

: mostly because adults have repeatedly said to her "You're so tall! Wow, you just keep getting bigger and bigger!" To her ears, it comes across as "You're not like your friends at all. What's wrong with you?" Breaks my heart.

.

This is us exactly. In such a society where women and men are weight conscious, I can't figure out why in the world people would say this to a child right off the bat, but we hear it all the time. I do correct, openly and honestly, and say "she isn't any bigger than when you saw her last time, are you wearing your glasses -- she is just tall". I may border on offensive sometimes, but I hate when people say "Look how big you have gotten" to a 5 year old.