s/o bathroom privacy

[hillview]

poll coming!

[BillK]

Peeing - all the time.

Pooping - not so much but I do like to surprise her sometimes!

[lhafer]

We still don't pee in front of each other even after 14.5 years of marriage. We know when the other is in the bathroom. And I will go so far as to lock the door. I like my privacy in the bathroom!!

[Clarity]

Peeing - all the time.

Pooping - not so much but I do like to surprise her sometimes!

:ROTFLMAO:Bill, this board is so much more fun with you on it. LOL

[iaam]

We have always walked in on each other. Unfortunately, the kids do it too (walk in on us, that is) - I don't like that and am really trying to get them to understand that they shouldn't. I am often alone with them at home though and don't want to lock the door just in case, so it's a constant battle of "please go outside and play - Mommy is almost done"!

[twowhat?]

We still don't pee in front of each other even after 14.5 years of marriage. We know when the other is in the bathroom. And I will go so far as to lock the door. I like my privacy in the bathroom!!

:yeahthat: except we've been married half that amount of time:)

But I will do it all in front of my kids, no problem. They insist on reading me a book for #2.

[kijip]

I close and lock the door with my kids though of course they have seen me go in public restrooms when too young to leave outside the stall (or in Ts case, use the men's room alone.) I refuse to believe that they will somehow kill or maim themselves in the time it takes me to pee. When they were clingy, they just got to sit on the other side of the door. Or I plopped them at the table with a snack and a toy.

I actually don't mind if my husband is in the bathroom with me (we shower together fairly often) but for the most part when using the toilet we both tend to close the door and do not barge in on each other. Our main bath has two doors- one to the hall and a sliding door between the double vanity and the toilet and bathtub. Usually that slider is closed or partially closes if one of us is at the vanity and the other is showering or using the toilet. But it is no big deal to open the door.

[hillview]

I voted peeing no big deal BUT I'd say I walk in on DH more often than he walks in on me. It is something I'd say we try to avoid but sometimes it just isn't easily avoided. WRT pooping it would only be in an emergency (someone needs TP or to grab something fast if running out the door etc).

I find it FASCINATING that there are folks who have been married for a long time and never walked in on a pee etc.
/hillary

[BabbyO]

Meh, I grew up in a household where it wasn't a big deal to walk in on one another. I never really care if DH or DS walk in on me...there's no secret about what I'm doing.

DH is ok with me walking in while he's peeing, but prefers if I leave him alone while pooping (which I usually do unless there is something I REALLY need in there). He grew up in a much more private family. Not sure how he feels about the kids walking in on him.

Interestingly he said he prefers the openess in our household to the way he grew up. Not that privacy is a bad thing...but he felt like they were SO private it bordered on being "dirty" if that makes sense.

[Jo..]

Never ever ever.

We also never *knowingly* pass gas in front of each other. Although Dh has walked into the aftermath more than once.:ROTFLMAO:

[Jo..]

We still don't pee in front of each other even after 14.5 years of marriage. We know when the other is in the bathroom. And I will go so far as to lock the door. I like my privacy in the bathroom!!

Me too. No peeing, no pooping, no shaving/waxing, no farting. Those are all private things.

[queenmama]

I can't vote on my phone!

We've been married almost 14 years, together 16, and we never shut the bathroom door unless it's winter and we're showering. DS even hangs out in the doorway while I go, unless I'm doing girlie business (tampons, or like now, with the PP peri wash).

I still don't shut the door at my mom & dad's, and DH's dad is similarly open (though MIL is quite private) so definitely learned behavior.

Sent from the HTC Vivid 4G LTE via Tapatalk 2

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

We remodeled our bathroom recently and a private toilet room was a must have.

[momm]

We also never *knowingly* pass gas in front of each other. Although Dh has walked into the aftermath more than once.:ROTFLMAO:


GASP!
How long have you been married?

I think it took us only like 6 months of marriage before we started tooting to our hearts content.

As for the original Q, I walk in on DH all the time but he doesn't walk in on me for anything.

[KrystalS]

I rarely shut the door if I'm just peeing. DS will just be right behind me opening it!

[TwinFoxes]

In emergency situations only. I like my privacy, DH likes giving it to me, and vice versa. Married 11 years, together almost 14.

[happymom]

I find it FASCINATING that there are folks who have been married for a long time and never walked in on a pee etc.
/hillary

And I am shocked that so many people have no problem with it! We absolutely do not walk in on eachother when we use the bathroom. Sometimes I get lazy when noone else is around and I'll leave the door a bit open (as in, I don't pull it shut), but if I hear DH coming I will pull it shut. He does the same for me. And its not a shyness issue...its just that bathroom stuff is all considered private to us. That's how DH and I were both raised, and everyone else I know, actually! This is totally TMI so be forewarned, but I'm trying to wrap my head around this- for those of you that poop with family members in the bathroom, do you wipe with them there too?

[elektra]

For starters, our master bathroom does not have a door.
I have no problem using this bathroom for every bathroom related activity, and while I generally do not use that bathroom for pooping if DH is in the bedroom, if someone walks in then they walk in. DH on the other hand goes to a separate bathroom, and he always locks the door- I am not allowed anywhere near his bathroom activities!
Most of the time this drives me crazy but I am actually appreciative of the fact that DH does not just fart and poop in my presence on a regular basis.

What's funny is that DS is just like DH- he needs privacy to poop and I have to leave the room. Good thing I am allowed back in to wipe. ;)

[indigo99]

Our toilet has its own little closet inside the bathroom so we'll walk in and out of the room regardless. If the person on the toilet is pooping then they'll just close that door. In general though, DH expects me to give him more privacy than he gives me in the bathroom. He will come and try to have conversations with me while I'm on the toilet, and I have to ask him to actually leave.

eta: the toilet closet is small and dark so we generally just leave that door open except, as noted above, someone else comes into the bathroom while we're pooping.

[Babymakes3]

DH and I shut the door, he even locks it now but thats bc of DS not me. I remember being so embarrassed when I needed help getting down and up after my c-section, since then it's not such a big deal...apparently childbirth and recovery prepares you for having no bathroom privacy every again! DS will stand there and try to push you out of the way so he can "see" whats happening, ugh!

[TxCat]

I voted peeing no big deal BUT I'd say I walk in on DH more often than he walks in on me. It is something I'd say we try to avoid but sometimes it just isn't easily avoided. WRT pooping it would only be in an emergency (someone needs TP or to grab something fast if running out the door etc).

I find it FASCINATING that there are folks who have been married for a long time and never walked in on a pee etc.
/hillary

Married for 6 years this June, and together for 2 years before that, and never walked in on each other for anything. We both really value our bathroom privacy. Even now, if DD insists on coming into the bathroom with us, the other person not in the bathroom will stay a good distance away so as not to see anything that is going on.

[buddyleebaby]

My DH would not care but I am more than content to wait until he is done using the bathroom.

As for me, I lock the door. Dh wouldn't bother me but any number of small persons in the family might. Repeatedly. And think nothing of it. :ROTFLMAO:

[sntm]

We've only been together a little over 2 years, but it was literally less than 2 months ago that SO peed in front of me for the first time (we were at a hotel and i was in the bath.) I've never in front of him. I don't have the same issue with DS, but otherwise, that's an area where I want to keep some mystery

[queenmama]

This is totally TMI so be forewarned, but I'm trying to wrap my head around this- for those of you that poop with family members in the bathroom, do you wipe with them there too?

We do.

BTW, it's not like any of us is hanging around specifically to enjoy the show, or trying to exhibitionists if we're the person using the toilet. I guess we just don't think it's that big a deal. We also only have one bedroom on the main (living) level, so we've gotten used to sharing... in every sense, I suppose. Lol

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[LMPC]

I voted pee but not poop. There are many things that I love about DH but I'm cool with him pooping remaining a mystery :P

[brittone2]

I voted pee but not poop. There are many things that I love about DH but I'm cool with him pooping remaining a mystery :P
:yeahthat:

No way, no how on poop. Just could not do it...couldn't walk in, couldn't have him walk in.

The kids have pretty much witnessed everything...someone is almost always in with me. I run upstairs and hide and lock the door when I can sneak away undetected.

[jgenie]

Married 11 years and together 16 years. DH & I have never seen each other use the bathroom. No public passing gas either. If the door is closed we knock and if someone is busy they will say so. Now DC have seen both of us. It's not my favorite but it's hard to avoid as a SAHM. DH has a really hard time with it and will search out a toilet away from the action.

[elliput]

It is not a big deal around here, but we try to give the each other privacy as a courtesy. Generally, I have someone or something following me into the bathroom- if it's not one of the kids or DH, it's the dog or the cat. :rolleye0014:

[Jo..]

GASP!
How long have you been married?

I think it took us only like 6 months of marriage before we started tooting to our hearts content.

As for the original Q, I walk in on DH all the time but he doesn't walk in on me for anything.

We've been together for 14 years and married 8. :heartbeat:

[AngelaS]

Dh doesn't share the bathroom if he's doing his business but has no problems walkin in on me. I need to lock the door like he does....

[brittone2]

Saw this on pinterest a few weeks ago and sent it to DH because it made me laugh.

Long Term Relationship Barbie:
http://www.plus613.com/image/63743

[AshleyAnn]

I voted kiwi since I am a single momma and its just DD and I. She's potty training so using the potty is a big event in our house. I am looking forward to the days when mommy can potty in peace.

ExDH and I were a closed door family. In ten years we never used the bathroom while the other was in the same room and now we cant stand to be in the same room let alone one as small a bathroom

[HannaAddict]

17 years of marriage and a couple years of dating and NEVER. And NEVER with any other long term boyfriends either. Nor roommates, but maybe two to three times with a sorority sister in a bathroom highly intoxicated in college (peeing). I'm just repressed or uptight I guess.

[kijip]

People keep referring to keeping "some mystery." I don't really get that as it can't truly be a mystery how other adults urinate and defecate.

Over the course of our marriage I have:

-Cared for him when he was sick with nasty stomach bugs and had it "coming out of both ends"
-Helped him reach the bathroom when injured.
-dealt with toilets he clogged.
-found a bag on a moving bus and held it for him while he puked his brains out.
-checked moles and skin oddities in "personal" spots.

He has:

-cared for me when I was sick.
-cleaned the bathroom on numerous occasions during my hypermesis pregnancy that I did not manage to get all the vomit in the bowl or toilet.
-unclogged oh so many toilets.
-helped me clean up when my mom's illness left her incontinent.
-assisted me with getting on and off the toilet after two c-sections.
-helped change and clean my catheter bag when my bladder ceased to function for close to two weeks post my first nightmare c-section.
-was in the room during a long labor and in the OR for two c-sections, without a drape the second time.
-helped transfer my mother to and from the toilet and cleaned her when she couldn't clean herself and I was not around.

I am sure that all of you and your spouses have done (or would if relevant) the same for each other. Being someone's life partner is messy stuff. It is funny that when we do all that for each other there are taboos about hearing farts and seeing each other pee. I mean, for better or for worse; in sickness and in health means we are all committing to helping in some very private and potentially gross ways, right?

[bcafe]

No way, no how on poop. Just could not do it...couldn't walk in, couldn't have him walk in.
The kids have pretty much witnessed everything...someone is almost always in with me. I run upstairs and hide and lock the door when I can sneak away undetected.
Word for word. Sometimes I run upstairs, hide, and lock the door just to talk on the phone.

[marie]

I can't imagine a life in which I couldn't fart in front of DH. I would experience serious GI discomfort, especially since DH works from home! :rotflmao:

Been together 20 years and been walking in on each other most of that time. LOL

I also agree with Katie re: sickness and health. I figure we might as well get any embarrassment out now and not when I'm older and caring for DH/being cared for by DH.

(incidentally, one of my all-time favorite movie scenes is from one of the Austin Powers movies - the scene in the bathroom stall. I cried from laughing so hard. In fact, i'm smiling just thinking about it. so maybe it has to do with one's "appreciation" for scatological humor as well?)

[Jo..]

I am with DH for life and in sickness and in health, but we were not raised to violate bathroom privacy. That is a sacred and VERY private thing to us.

I have been with him through kidney cancer and lots of stomach bugs, and there were certainly many not-so-romantic moments (checking his butt when he "felt something that hurt", shaving his back, holding his barf-bag, etc). He knows if he ever needed me to, I would wipe his butt for the rest of his life and never say a word.

But heck, unless you're in a situation like that where you NEED to, I just don't see peeing and pooping in front of ANYONE, much less your spouse. It's private.

ETA I would die of shame if DH had to unclog a toilet with my mess in it. I have spent hours clearing my own clogs, and he has done the same!

Different strokes for different folks.

[lizzywednesday]

It's happened once or twice, but, mostly, we lock the bathroom door.

DD is more inclined to barge in on one of us "indisposed" than we are on each other.

Occasionally, however, DH has asked if it's OK to pee while I'm in the shower stall in the master bathroom. And that's OK by me so long as he doesn't flush 'til I'm done because I'm convinced it messes with the water temp.

[AnnieW625]

DH and I have been together for almost 15 yrs. and I have never once seen him pee. He locks the door. He has walked in on me a few times because I don't have a habit of locking the door. If the girls walk in on me I don't care.

In regards to passing gas I try to keep it quiet, and I wish DH would do the same, but he doesn't and I let him know he should leave the room when he does it, but he doesn't.

[khalloc]

I prefer to be in private. But sometimes I really have to pee and DH will be shaving or brushing teeth and I just have to go in to use the bathroom. DH definitely does not want me in the bathroom if he is pooping and I definitely do not want to be with him in the bathroom while he is doing that either! And I dont want someone in the bathroom while I am (sometimes the kids come in...ugh!) but they are outgrowing that.

DH will leave the bathroom door open and pee if the kids are in bed. Sometimes I wished he would close it. BUt whatever...

[jgenie]

I am with DH for life and in sickness and in health, but we were not raised to violate bathroom privacy. That is a sacred and VERY private thing to us.

I have been with him through kidney cancer and lots of stomach bugs, and there were certainly many not-so-romantic moments (checking his butt when he "felt something that hurt", shaving his back, holding his barf-bag, etc). He knows if he ever needed me to, I would wipe his butt for the rest of his life and never say a word.

But heck, unless you're in a situation like that where you NEED to, I just don't see peeing and pooping in front of ANYONE.....

I have to agree with this. If anyone I love needed help toileting I would take care of it without blinking an eye but barring a true need I prefer to toilet in private and for other adults to do the same.

[Melaine]

Together for 11 years, married 8....never walked in except once in the middle of the night I barely budged the door open before realizing he was in there.

[dec756]

both walk in regardless, however we always knock and ask if its okay.

[lizzywednesday]

...
In regards to passing gas I try to keep it quiet, and I wish DH would do the same, but he doesn't and I let him know he should leave the room when he does it, but he doesn't.

I have 2 brothers.

Flatus was/is a fact of life.

It doesn't bother me unless his stomach is upset; then I turn on the fan until he complains. (When I was pregnant, it was sometimes a nausea trigger.)

[BabbyO]

People keep referring to keeping "some mystery." I don't really get that as it can't truly be a mystery how other adults urinate and defecate.

Over the course of our marriage I have:

-Cared for him when he was sick with nasty stomach bugs and had it "coming out of both ends"
-Helped him reach the bathroom when injured.
-dealt with toilets he clogged.
-found a bag on a moving bus and held it for him while he puked his brains out.
-checked moles and skin oddities in "personal" spots.

He has:

-cared for me when I was sick.
-cleaned the bathroom on numerous occasions during my hypermesis pregnancy that I did not manage to get all the vomit in the bowl or toilet.
-unclogged oh so many toilets.
-helped me clean up when my mom's illness left her incontinent.
-assisted me with getting on and off the toilet after two c-sections.
-helped change and clean my catheter bag when my bladder ceased to function for close to two weeks post my first nightmare c-section.
-was in the room during a long labor and in the OR for two c-sections, without a drape the second time.
-helped transfer my mother to and from the toilet and cleaned her when she couldn't clean herself and I was not around.

I am sure that all of you and your spouses have done (or would if relevant) the same for each other. Being someone's life partner is messy stuff. It is funny that when we do all that for each other there are taboos about hearing farts and seeing each other pee. I mean, for better or for worse; in sickness and in health means we are all committing to helping in some very private and potentially gross ways, right?

So well put. My thoughts exactly.


I have 2 brothers.

Flatus was/is a fact of life.

It doesn't bother me unless his stomach is upset; then I turn on the fan until he complains. (When I was pregnant, it was sometimes a nausea trigger.)

We have 2 boys and I can already see what my future holds! :)

[maestramommy]

Occasionally, but we try to avoid it.

[lizzywednesday]

...

We have 2 boys and I can already see what my future holds! :)

It's not so much that they do it but that they think it's hilarious.

And remember that it is also hilarious when you complain or squirm.

NEVER let them see you squirm.

Because I have brothers, I've gotten little boys to stop farting or belching in front of me by rolling my eyes and telling them they could do better than that - I took all the fun out of the gross-out attempt for them.

My sister doesn't see it the same way I do. She squirms & squeals, so the gross-outs continue and escalate. (She's going to have fun with hers, I'm sure. She's due with her 2nd boy this September.)

[TwinFoxes]

If my MIL was debilitated, I'd take care of her bathroom needs etc. Doesn't mean I'd be cool with her pooping and peeing in front of me. Same goes with DH. I would do whatever it takes in the event of an illness (big or small). But on a random Sunday morning? Privacy please.

I think this is a case "everybody's different" not a case of one way makes more sense than the other.

[sntm]

I'll do a lot for "in sickness" that I won't do for "in health"!

I'm in medicine, and lemme just say, I have stuck my (gloved) fingers in so many disgusting places that I am largely immune to it. And yet...

[happymom]

I am with DH for life and in sickness and in health, but we were not raised to violate bathroom privacy. That is a sacred and VERY private thing to us.......

But heck, unless you're in a situation like that where you NEED to, I just don't see peeing and pooping in front of ANYONE, much less your spouse. It's private......


Different strokes for different folks.

:yeahthat: Same for me!