How do you teach a 3 year old to recognize the urge,

[swissair81]

to acknowledge that he needs to go, and to pick himself up and do just that. My big boy is still dry and clean, but I practically need to set a timer to get him to go to the bathroom, and I often have to haul him away from what he's doing to get him to. Is it just something he will grow into, or do I need to teach this to him? DD2 was totally trained after two weeks (even though those 2 weeks gave me a head of gray hair) and I didn't have to chase after her. I don't know what to do with this.

[wendibird22]

I recall having that challenge with DD1 at 3yo. If we dragged her to the potty hourly, she'd go. If we left her to her own devices she wouldn't recognize the urge. We finally did a weekend of naked and it totally worked. She peed on herself once and that was it.

[Simon]

I'm not sure this is what you want to hear, but Ds1 just didn't recognize the urge for a looooong time and, yes, we had to keep track by the clock and insist he try using the potty. He didn't have accidents, but he never seemed to recognize the urge to go. I have heard it can be related to constipation, as the colon gets stretched out, but I'm not an expert. Even now, at 6yo, he isn't the best about going regularly while 2yo Ds2 clearly gets the message from his body when its time to go in a way Ds1 never did.

[angelahoward820]

to acknowledge that he needs to go, and to pick himself up and do just that. My big boy is still dry and clean, but I practically need to set a timer to get him to go to the bathroom, and I often have to haul him away from what he's doing to get him to. Is it just something he will grow into, or do I need to teach this to him? DD2 was totally trained after two weeks (even though those 2 weeks gave me a head of gray hair) and I didn't have to chase after her. I don't know what to do with this.
After several accidents, my sister had to do the same thing with the timer and it took a while to make it work but it did work great. my nephew is now 5 and the timer is no longer needed :)

[ett]

I'm not sure this is what you want to hear, but Ds1 just didn't recognize the urge for a looooong time and, yes, we had to keep track by the clock and insist he try using the potty. He didn't have accidents, but he never seemed to recognize the urge to go. I have heard it can be related to constipation, as the colon gets stretched out, but I'm not an expert. Even now, at 6yo, he isn't the best about going regularly while 2yo Ds2 clearly gets the message from his body when its time to go in a way Ds1 never did.

Similar case with my 2 boys. DS1 potty trained late and it took a long time for him to go by himself without us reminding him. DS2 was much better at going himself when he needed too. So what I'm saying is that it could just be a developmental thing and you just need to wait it out. I don't know if it's something you can teach.

[swissair81]

I really appreciate the advice. I just wanted to know if it was normal, and if I was doing something wrong.

[edurnemk]

Totally normal, it takes them a while to get the hang of it. I had to observe DS really closely and recognize the signs that he had to go. Then I'd ask him "do you want to go potty?" and even if he said no, I'd tell him "let's check just to make sure" and I'd take him to the potty. Eventually they do it on their own. But even now at almost 4.5 yo, if he's too distracted, playing, etc he won't go until he's about to have an accident. I still sometimes look at him and tell him he needs to go potty.

[swissair81]

The thing that worries me is this: if he needs to be reminded so often, is that considered toilet trained? He has to go to school next year.

[american_mama]

I wouldn't worry about the school part. A lot can change with potty training in a few months. Plus, not that this is a great habit, but I think many children learn to hold it at school (preschool or elementary school) because they aren't as comfortable using the bathroom in public vs. home. Like I said, not a great habit, but not one you can easily control.

I think if a child can hold it for an hour before needing to go, that's pretty successful potty training. If he or she can stay dry that long with reminding, I think that's good, and I'd hope that over the next 3-5 months, the need for reminders reduces and the length of time they can hold it increases. I assume that he needs the most reminders in the morning, so it gets a little easier for you as the day goes on? I think most children and adults pee more in the first half of the day than the second.

[ArizonaGirl]

You and I are sometimes so close it's scary (the pregnancy and now i just realized that both of us have 3 year old boys):ROTFLMAO:

It is a constant battle with us to where if it has been 2 to 2.5 hours it is not a choice to go potty, it is not optional it is just time to go. Otherwise we have accidents and as far as the school thing, that has been a work in progress. They have to be more strict with him about going potty, and not just asking him if he needs to go, because he will say he doesn't and then have an accident in 15-20 minutes, so it is just not optional anymore.

I know that is not what you probably wanted to hear, but its all I got.:wink2:

[annex]

I was anxious about this as well with my 3 yo DS, and scheduled a special conference with his preschool teachers before school started. The school required "potty trained" as one of the conditions of enrollment. They basically laughed at me and said it was totally normal, and they have all the class go potty at certain times (e.g. right before morning snack, right before playground time, etc.) This will keep most of the non-initiators dry as they work on this skill. It's good though to make the teachers aware, so they keep a close eye on your DS for any potty dancing, etc. in between the normal schedule times.

[hoodlims]

I wouldn't worry about school! Anyone who works with 3-5 year olds will be taking the kids to the potty frequently, plus there will be peer pressure!