She took my baby out of the room!

[Multimama]

Okay, the more I think about this the more mad I am. You can tell me if you think I'm being unreasonable.

I was at a doctor's appointment at the hospital yesterday. I hadn't even planned on bringing my newborn, but they were running so late I needed to nurse him so I had him with me. During the exam the nurse had someone else in the office come in and hold him. I don't know why I didn't just say no, but it *is* hard to hold your baby while having a gynecological appointment. So we're in the middle of the exam and she's explaining something to me and I hear the door close and the baby holder has LEFT THE ROOM with my baby. Without saying anything at all. She just left. I turn around and say, "Where's my baby?" I open the door, not wearing any pants, and the baby holder is down the hall talking to her friends!! And has to be persuaded to bring him back into the room!!

I just think that is insane. Suddenly I turn around, while I'm half naked, and realize that my baby is no longer in the room. My newborn baby who has never been out of my sight unless he was with my husband.

Her explanation for why she took him out, "I thought he was going to cry."

And then later her new explanation, "I didn't think you'd want him staring at you like that."

WHAT???

[DietCokeLover]

I would be livid.

[momm]

Wow. that is reason enough to punch someone in the face.

[Melaine]

Are you kidding???? Your response was completely normal....what was she thinking???

[MamaMolly]

What a moron. She's lucky to have arms and legs left. You don't just walk away with a newborn and expect Mama not to nut up. It's biological!

I'm sure she wasn't really thinking about what she was doing though. I bet she was soaking up some newborn snuggles and showing him off. People can be so dumb sometimes! Just because she knew she didn't mean any harm doesn't mean YOU knew that.

IMO your reaction was perfectly normal and I would hope someone would sit her down and explain how her behavior looks from a mama's perspective.

[wellyes]

I don't see the problem, personally. I don't mean to be insensitive but - what are you afraid would happen? this is a trusted employee steps away for a few seconds.

[marymoo86]

I totally get it.

You don't know this person and you don't know what could happen outside the room or what he could have been exposed to.

[roseyloxs]

As a pp said I would be livid. What an idiot? I would be mad if she tried to talk about leaving the room let alone leaving without saying anything.

Wow. I hope they apologized profusely for their thoughtless actions.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I see both POVs. I had to go in for an appointment at 2 weeks pp with ds2. I knew all along that there was a staff member there to take care of ds2. I trusted her judgement to leave if she felt like it was a good idea. However, this was at a small birthing center where I knew everyone and there was no where really to go.

[ett]

I don't see the problem, personally. I don't mean to be insensitive but - what are you afraid would happen? this is a trusted employee steps away for a few seconds.

I would be upset because she didn't ask or even mention that she was going to take the baby out of the room.

[TwinFoxes]

I would be upset because she didn't ask or even mention that she was going to take the baby out of the room.

Same here. Just suddenly hearing the door open and your baby isn't there is creepy. The staring at you comment is just stupid.

[DrSally]

Same here. Just suddenly hearing the door open and your baby isn't there is creepy. The staring at you comment is just stupid.

:yeahthat:

[KrisM]

I don't see the problem, personally. I don't mean to be insensitive but - what are you afraid would happen? this is a trusted employee steps away for a few seconds.

I'd be angry if my mom, who I trust more than any doctor or nurse, just walked out of my house with my baby. She didn't "step away", she opened a door and walked out without asking if it was okay.

[Multimama]

I would be upset because she didn't ask or even mention that she was going to take the baby out of the room.

:yeahthat: I couldn't even see her leave because my back was to the door. I turned around because I heard the door close. My baby was already out of the room at that point. That is just crazy, in my opinion. I'm glad some of you agree.

Also, this is not a small town birthing center or something of that sort, this is a major medical center of the kind where they had to accompany me to the elevator and double check that my ID bracelet matched my son's before *I* could leave with him. I imagine it is a total violation of any training and protocol to just walk out without telling the parent where you are taking the baby and why.

ETA: Glad some of you would have reacted the same way! The more I thought about it the more I thought that was such a weird thing to do. I don't care how nice she seemed. I had never seen this woman before and she just left with my baby. On top of that, with no pants on I was hardly in a state to follow and find out where she went with him! Not that that stopped me!

[Liziz]

I'm guessing the woman holding the baby doesn't have kids and doesn't realize how big of a deal it was to walk out of the room w/ the baby. Not that it makes it okay, but that's just my guess.

I would have flipped out and ran out of the room pants-less just like you. How scary. I still remember the day we brought DD home from the hospital....DH and I were exhausted...I fed DD, handed her to my (wonderful and trustworthy) Mom, and DH and I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up and hour later and ran through my whole house in a panic b/c I could not fnd my baby! I quickly found Mom w/ DD on the back porch, so no issues....but I think how terrified I felt right then....you must have felt a million times worse!!!!

Oh, and that comment about thinking you wouldn't want the baby seeing that.....um, baby just was birthed from there. He's already "seen" it all, lady. Ridiculous!

[niccig]

Oh, and that comment about thinking you wouldn't want the baby seeing that.....um, baby just was birthed from there. He's already "seen" it all, lady. Ridiculous!

Exactly, the baby's already seen everything.


They wouldn't let you take the stroller or the infant seat into the room with you? That's what I did for all my appointments with doctors when DS was little. The actual time with the Dr in the room is what, 5-10 mins. I would strap DS in when the Dr. walked in the room, so it was only a few minutes he had to be there.

[zag95]

I'd address this with the office/department- there should have been no reason for her to leave the room- if baby is 2-6 weeks old (as with PP visits) he would not remember anything about your gyno check.

As a new mom, that's a mother's worst nightmare having someone "steal" your baby. No need for them to be causing such anxiety, esp given their policy of security with babies.

Good for you for pursuing that lady. Once we become mothers, all sense of modesty flies out the window- meaning- we have no problem pursuing finding our child, with or without pants!

[mackmama]

I would not be okay with having a stranger take my newborn out of the room without asking either. How upsetting!

[waitingforgrace]

I wouldn't have even let her hold the baby, the baby can cry in the stroller or carseat if needed for a few minutes if I'm not able to hold baby.

Definitely wouldn't be ok with someone taking baby out of the room.

[queenmama]

I would've reacted just the same!

Her excuse is totally idiotic. I took Henry to all of my gyno visits until he was in school full time, so around 4/5yo. I guarantee he doesn't remember even at that age. To imply that your NB shouldn't be there is ludicrous.

Sent from the HTC Vivid 4G LTE via Tapatalk 2

[Liziz]

Once we become mothers, all sense of modesty flies out the window- meaning- we have no problem pursuing finding our child, with or without pants!

Ha ha... my good friend would agree with this! She was at the mall in a fitting room last week w/ her two year old....just as she got down to bra and panties only, the son dives under the door and starts running.....so there she goes into the store w/ no clothes to catch him!

[infomama]

I would be upset because she didn't ask or even mention that she was going to take the baby out of the room.


Same here. Just suddenly hearing the door open and your baby isn't there is creepy. The staring at you comment is just stupid.
:yeahthat:

[elizabethkott]

Ohhhhhhh HELLLLLLLLLLLLS NO!!!!!
You are not crazy. That nurse is a dillweed. WTF was she THINKING?!
Somebody better have given her forty lashes with a wet noodle and then a severe verbal dressing down.

[misshollygolightly]

NOT COOL. I get that lots of gyno offices may call in an extra nurse/assistant/receptionist to come hold a newborn while mama gets checked out--actually, I even appreciated when my OB's office did this as my DS hated being left in his carseat for even a moment. And I can *sort of* understand how, if a baby was screaming and crying during a crucial part of the appointment (say, while Dr. is explaining treatment options, or if the noise is upsetting mom while she's having a pap smear or something), a situation might arise where it'd be ok for the baby-holder to ask mom, "Would you like me to step outside the exam room w/ baby for a moment?" But I can NOT understand why someone would just hold baby and casually walk out of the room mid-exam (why is she opening the door while you're undressed anyway? awkward!), without saying a word to anyone, and casually stroll down to another part of the office. So weird! I think you'd be perfectly justified in calling and complaining. Surely they can handle these situations better in the future...for their own sake as well as their patients'.

[eagle]

That nurse is a dillweed.

please dont give dill a bad name (i dont even like calling it dill"weed").

and i would like to also add that that nurse is clueless. i hope someone clues her in big time. NO NO.

[elephantmeg]

As an RN I think I have been guilty of that. Now that I'm a mom I wouldn't do it but I think before having kids I would have thought I was being helpful-and I imagine that there are moms that it wouldn't phase to have their kids walk out for a min. I'm sorry you had a bad experience though-and I would have been like "bring my baby back NOW" too.

[lalasmama]

:bag I do this, kind of. But, only during the IUD appointments, where mom's stuck in stirrups for 15 minutes, and standing in that hot procedure room gets to me. HOWEVER, and it's a BIG however, I always tell the mom, "I'm going to go show the baby off to the nurse. We'll be at my desk. When you are ready, look to the right out the door. You'll see us right there at my desk, if that's okay." And never have I been told "no". But, I know our OB patients well, and by IUD time, just about every assistant and RN has been in to see mom and baby, chatting about the birth or nursing or whatever else, so it's not like a "stranger" has the baby. And with our patient population, they often sit there and expect the assistant or RN to undress, weigh, rediaper, and redress the baby at the first several visits, completely out of their sight! (This always makes me uncomfortable. Mama Bear should be kicking in, and you should be FOLLOWING ME when I take your baby anywhere! But, I've been told culturally, it's a sign of friendship and trust that they let you take care of the baby for that time, so I just go with it and soak up the baby snuggles while I can.)

Heck, I ask permission before offering to take a school-aged kid to get a sticker 5 feet outside the door! LOL

[Multimama]

I wouldn't have even let her hold the baby

See, this would normally be me too in this type of situation. But this is what happened. The nurse practitioner pushed some secret button and this other woman (the eventual baby holder) appeared and the other nurse asked her if she could hold the baby. I of course could have refused, but I didn't because a) the woman was already there b) they all seemed to think I would need someone to hold the baby and c) I didn't know what the appointment was going to involve so couldn't assess whether they were right.

I didn't have a stroller with me (despite my signature, ha ha). I hadn't planned on having the baby in the appointment so I just had my wrap. But as it turned out I totally could have had him in the wrap for the whole appointment with no problems and obviously in retrospect wish I had done!

I agree that this woman was probably just clueless about babies and didn't realize that this would be a big deal, but I still think that at a major hospital in an OB/GYN office everyone should know this is inappropriate, even childless employees. If they can't guarantee that the baby holder won't leave the room with your newborn while your back is turned they really shouldn't take on the liability of offering to hold your baby.

Thanks everyone for making me feel better. :)

[swissair81]

:yeahthat: I couldn't even see her leave because my back was to the door. I turned around because I heard the door close. My baby was already out of the room at that point. That is just crazy, in my opinion. I'm glad some of you agree.

Also, this is not a small town birthing center or something of that sort, this is a major medical center of the kind where they had to accompany me to the elevator and double check that my ID bracelet matched my son's before *I* could leave with him. I imagine it is a total violation of any training and protocol to just walk out without telling the parent where you are taking the baby and why.

ETA: Glad some of you would have reacted the same way! The more I thought about it the more I thought that was such a weird thing to do. I don't care how nice she seemed. I had never seen this woman before and she just left with my baby. On top of that, with no pants on I was hardly in a state to follow and find out where she went with him! Not that that stopped me!


That's just nuts. I'm okay with people taking my kids around in my doctor's office, but I've been a patient there for years, and the nurse there is a former nursing school classmate. Also, she would never leave because my newborn's eyes might be scarred. I had to take one of my older kids with me during a postpartum checkup once, and the nurse just directed her attention toward the back of the room- and she was 3.5 already. If these were strangers, or it was a hospital appointment, I would have had a COW.

[swissair81]

As an RN I think I have been guilty of that. Now that I'm a mom I wouldn't do it but I think before having kids I would have thought I was being helpful-and I imagine that there are moms that it wouldn't phase to have their kids walk out for a min. I'm sorry you had a bad experience though-and I would have been like "bring my baby back NOW" too.

I worked on LDRP, where the policy was that any procedures or blood draws should preferably be done in another room. There wasn't a nursery on our unit, so it was kind of noticeable that we were taking the baby. I would have had a lot of explaining to do if I had taken a baby without asking the mother's permission and explaining what I was going to do.

[OKKiddo]

I would have flipped! Every news article about newborn abductions and nurses stealing babies would have gone through my mind as I turned around to find them gone--and then I would have run (naked!) after the nurse to get my child. I know I would have ended up screaming and crying in a scenario like yours--my hormones after babies were just that way for me.

[smilequeen]

She should have asked first.

That said, when I had my first with me at my 2 and 6 week check ups, my OB's nurse took him and held him and showed him around the office, no big deal to me. I knew her though, and everyone else in the office, well enough by that point. I don't think I would have been mad at all if she hadn't asked first.

[jal]

...
Her explanation for why she took him out, "I thought he was going to cry."

And then later her new explanation, "I didn't think you'd want him staring at you like that."

WHAT???

That just shows that she knew she F***ed up, but as a professional, didn't want to admit she F***ed up and just started grabbing for excuses.

[BabyMine]

I don't see the problem, personally. I don't mean to be insensitive but - what are you afraid would happen? this is a trusted employee steps away for a few seconds.

I can see why you were upset but for me I wouldn't care. I was never one to get upset if people touched my newborn. Of course now I would pay for them to take my boys out of the room.

[kozachka]

I don't see the problem, personally. I don't mean to be insensitive but - what are you afraid would happen? this is a trusted employee steps away for a few seconds.

:yeahthat: I don't see the problem either.

[Multimama]

I can see why you were upset but for me I wouldn't care. I was never one to get upset if people touched my newborn. Of course now I would pay for them to take my boys out of the room.

She didn't step away for a few seconds. She was down at the other end of the hall chatting with friends. And the problem is that she should have asked my permission to take my child out of the room or at least told me that she was leaving. If I am paying someone to watch my child it is completely different than this situation.

If anybody else doesn't see the problem, I honestly don't need to hear it. I am already feeling attacked by Jezebeltwink and would like to politely request only supportive and/or understanding posts from now on. Thanks. :)

[swissair81]

I see the problem. It might be a matter of personal opinion as to whether it bothers you or not, but there's definitely no reason to belittle someone it does bother. I'm a pretty laid back mother, and I have enough kids that one might think this wouldn't bother me. However, I only have one of each, and I tend to like to know and trust anyone before they leave my sight with my children (of any age).

[Jacksmommy2b]

100% unacceptable IMO.

Do I think the nurse will make a run for it, of course not. But does that mean that someone I don't know can take my child out of the room (that for all intents and purposes) I am stuck in? No freaking way. I would be really, really upset.

I also would calmly mention to the office manager or even the ob that I was really uncomfortable by what had happened.


ETA: The more I think about it, I have been going to the same family Dr. since I was a kid and I would still be really upset if one of the nurses led my 6 or 2 year olds off without my permission. I don't give a rat's behind if that makes me high strung.

[MamaMolly]

I can see why you were upset but for me I wouldn't care. I was never one to get upset if people touched my newborn. Of course now I would pay for them to take my boys out of the room.

We all bring different experiences to this. I would love to be in the position not to care about people touching my newborn, but IME it is a dangerous thing. Dolly was 21 days old and caught a cold brought from my niece. She was admitted to the hospital for 3 days, had a spinal tap, urinary catherer and blood draw all due to ONLY having a fever of 101.4. So I'd be a flaming ball of nutso if someone took my newborn, and totally uphold any momma who feels the same.

[mommy111]

I wouldn't be upset, but...I can see why someone else may be. And if you felt that it was not OK, then it was not. You set the rules around your child. And I can see how leaving the room and with someone else's child when your job is to hold them there for mama is definitely crossing the line.

[DietCokeLover]

. So I'd be a flaming ball of nutso .

I'm sorry, this is so off topic, but this may be one of the funniest things I've heard in a while!

[rin]

She didn't step away for a few seconds. She was down at the other end of the hall chatting with friends. And the problem is that she should have asked my permission to take my child out of the room or at least told me that she was leaving. If I am paying someone to watch my child it is completely different than this situation.

If anybody else doesn't see the problem, I honestly don't need to hear it. I am already feeling attacked by Jezebeltwink and would like to politely request only supportive and/or understanding posts from now on. Thanks. :)

(a) I would be extremely upset by the situation (and I think that nurse sounds like an idiot, with the whole "he was staring" comment), and (b) I strongly suspect Jezebeltwink is a troll, so I would strongly encourage you to ignore what (s)he wrote. Newbie account, 2 out of 3 posts are weird and incendiary.

[BabyBearsMom]

Hugs to you multimama. It would upset me too. But even if it didn't the entire point of the b*tching post is to be able to vent anger and gain support regardless of if it is reasonable. Glad your baby is okay!

[wellyes]

If anybody else doesn't see the problem, I honestly don't need to hear it. I am already feeling attacked by Jezebeltwink and would like to politely request only supportive and/or understanding posts from now on. Thanks. :)

My sincere apologies - I didn't realize this was BP - tapatalk befuddles me.

[Multimama]

My sincere apologies - I didn't realize this was BP - tapatalk befuddles me.

I really didn't mind that you said you didn't see a problem with it. I don't mind in theory if people disagree with me even in a BP. I just started feeling very sensitive after a certain later post. I know that even if you don't see a problem with it you respect my right to be bothered by it. :)

Thanks for the support, everyone. I love this board.

[kellyd]

DH's aunt, who I had known for YEARS took DS out of the room I was in when he was barely 2 weeks old and I followed her (then followed her into the next room, and onto the front porch till she got the message and told me if she couldn't hold him w/o me hovering I could have him back... I promptly grabbed him and went back inside! LOL

I would have gone ballistic if a nurse ever did this. Once, at the appt when they removed my staples, the twins were 8 days old. One of them went ballistic during the procedure and DH was already holding the other. (They wanted to nurse and I was a bit indisposed. The nurse offered to hold her, made a big production of scrubbing her hands and promised that she wouldn't leave my sight. THAT is the ONLY thing anyone should EVER do!