Just Wait Til Father's Day

[AshleyAnn]

exDH managed to make me cry on Mothers Day. Ruined an otherwise perfect day.

He texts me at 2:45 today if I had plans for DD. I tell him my plans and ask him why he wanted to know. Apparently he wants to take her to see his mother at 6. I HATE when he springs plans on me at the last minute but its mothers day and his mom hasnt see DD in at least a month so fine. He asks me to drop her off around 5:30.

I get to his moms at 5:40 and his mom invites me in to wait on him. We make ackward conversation, I havent seen them in at least a year and they know we are at each others throats. After an hour of waiting I text him. He's 'on his way' he shows up 45 minutes later (its under 15 minute drive). So then I get escorted out of the house since we dont get along with the instructions to be back before 8 to pick her up. Ok its already after 6 in a small town, WTH am I supposed to do? I ended up at target. I bought a tube of toothpaste and some allergy meds. I left target and decided it was close enough to 8 to get DD. I go to get DD and discover that exDH has taught her to make two new stupid noise and a naughty words. I ask him carry her to the car because its raining. She is 2 and fights getting strapped in her car seat. He made to meager attempts, yells at her to "STOP" then when she doesnt yell at me I should be helping and slams the door making my DD cry and storms back into the house. So I got to strap a screaming upset toddler into a car seat in the pouring rain. No "happy mothers day". No thanks for driving her across town on short notice. Nada. Typical for him but still it sucks that he cant be bothered to recognize I am raising his child.

He wants me to give him slack because hes working. Well I'm working 60 hrs a week, going to school half time, a single mom to a toddler, and I have a social life (kinda) wheres my slack buddy?

[Puddy73]

:hug: Sorry he ruined your day! I hope Karma bites him hard.

[DrSally]

You're not his lackey.. What an immature jerk. Next time he can do pick up and drop off

[Liziz]

What a jerk. So sorry!

[OKKiddo]

You did an awesome job. Your ex MIL even did a great job from the sounds of it--she was at least appreciative. I probably would have left with my child after a visitation with her because the day was for MOMS not for a very unappreciative, rude, verbally abusive ex DH. I would not have taken him yelling at my child. And you were out of her routine (dinner, bath, bed) of course she was going to act like a 2 year old. What was his excuse?

Just re-read your post again. You mean to tell me that you arrived at his mother's home at 5:40, at 6:40 you texted him, at 7:25 he finally shows up and wants you to be back before 8? I'm serious, you are being too nice! He arrived at almost 2 hours after you did (2 hours after he asked you to be there). Inexcusable.

[momm]

:( He is a mean man. I guess there's a reason he's your ex, and good for you.

Sorry he ruined the day.

[KrisM]

I'm sorry. What a bad situation. I too can't believe he arrived 2 hours late! How awful.

[Clarity]

You're not his lackey.. What an immature jerk. Next time he can do pick up and drop off

Seriously :yeahthat:.

[Tondi G]

Glad he is your X! ((HUGS)) He's an A*s!

[firstbaby]

Sorry it ruined the day, but now you have a nice track record to go back on why you can say "No, that doesn't work with my day" next time...

[MamaMolly]

Double dare you to set up a nice day with your ex MIL next year without consulting your Ex. You and she can be grown up about this, so why would you let the tantrum throwing brat misbehave in front of your DD? I'd call her and invite her to a nice brunch at a restaurant. Two hours of making the best of it and you come out like a saint. Especially for your DD. Grandmas are important, even when their son's are rat ba$tards.

[kozachka]

Just re-read your post again. You mean to tell me that you arrived at his mother's home at 5:40, at 6:40 you texted him, at 7:25 he finally shows up and wants you to be back before 8? I'm serious, you are being too nice! He arrived at almost 2 hours after you did (2 hours after he asked you to be there). Inexcusable.

I read this differently. OP arrived at xMIL's place at 5:40 pm, waited for an hour, so till 6:40 pm, to text xH. He was on the way and arrived 45 mins late vs. the agreed time of 6:00, or at 6:45 pm and asked her to be back at 8:00 pm.

The part that I did not understand is why OP needed to drop her DD off at xMIL's house at 5:30 pm if the visit was supposed to start at 6:00 pm.

[kozachka]

Double dare you to set up a nice day with your ex MIL next year without consulting your Ex. You and she can be grown up about this, so why would you let the tantrum throwing brat misbehave in front of your DD? I'd call her and invite her to a nice brunch at a restaurant. Two hours of making the best of it and you come out like a saint. Especially for your DD. Grandmas are important, even when their son's are rat ba$tards.

Think this is a wonderful idea.

[niccig]

Double dare you to set up a nice day with your ex MIL next year without consulting your Ex. You and she can be grown up about this, so why would you let the tantrum throwing brat misbehave in front of your DD? I'd call her and invite her to a nice brunch at a restaurant. Two hours of making the best of it and you come out like a saint. Especially for your DD. Grandmas are important, even when their son's are rat ba$tards.

This is a great idea, cut him out of the equation.

Oh, and on a side note, do you have anyone, family or friend, that can help your DD out on mother's day, your birthday, Christmas? I used to take a friend's DS shopping, so he could get his mother something. She would give me some money and I would chip in a bit too, that way she got something and didn't know what it was. Her ex-H was useless at this, despite her making sure the DS had a present for his dad on these occasions. She asked me once, as he was asking to go shopping for her, and then I realised there was nobody to help, so I did it with him for a few years until I moved away.

[Still-in-Shock]

I'm sure your XMIL appreciated getting to see your DD. Not only do I like MamaMolly's idea, I think it would be great if you let XMIL know DD's schedule so that you can plan a visit that works for all of you.

Who know's? She may end up helping you out with baby sitting some time down the road.

[ahisma]

I'm sure your XMIL appreciated getting to see your DD. Not only do I like MamaMolly's idea, I think it would be great if you let XMIL know DD's schedule so that you can plan a visit that works for all of you.

Who know's? She may end up helping you out with baby sitting some time down the road.

I did this with my DD's paternal grandmother and it worked well. She had time with DD one evening a week, which gave me some free time and allowed DD to have a bond with her dad's family. There were some frustrations along the way, but overall I'm very glad that I did it. As an added, but unintentional, bonus, when custody issues came up down the road it was really nice to be able to show that I'd been fostering that relationship. Moreover, now that DD is older, it helps a lot for her to know that we did that.

Either way, I'm sorry that you went through that on MD - what a jerk!