khalloc
05-18-2012, 12:48 PM
This happens almost every time. he's pissy and short with me. We end up arguing.
This time he has been on the road for 4 weeks just about. The first week him and I took a solo kids-free vacation to the Caribbean. He had to fly out the next day across the country for 2 weeks for training for his new job. So the kids saw him for like 4 hours before he had to leave (we werent at our house either so he didnt get to go home). Then he is gone for 2 weeks and comes home last weekend on Sat morning and leave again early Monday (like before kids wake up) for some other management meeting at new company. So this is the 4th week he's gone. I work full-time so this hasnt exactly been a picnic for me either. I've been waking up at 5:30, getting the kids dressed and ready for school and fed. Driving DS to daycare (15 minutes each way) then getting home right in time to grab DD's backpack and run outside to catch the schoolbus. Then I jump in the car and go to work. Then after work I have to pick both kids up and go home and feed the dog, make dinner, baths, put them to bed. All by myself for 3 weeks! (I know some of you do this longer). But 3 weeks is a long time. And I've been good about it. No calling DH at night complaining. He's been calling me almost nightly and we chat for a few minutes.
So today he gets home and we talk on the phone. He seems fine. Then he calls me back and is pissy asking me where he is picking DD up at (daycare or school?). And I say I whereever he wants to. I dont know. He had mentioned wanting to pick the kids up if he slept well on the plane. So this is his thing, not mine. I know not to make plans for him because he then accuses me to planning out his entire day/weekend, etc...So then he asks for the school phone #. And I tell him that he can look it up online (I dont know the number offhand, I get online and look it up!) Why are men so helpless sometimes? When I am at home with the kids alone I dont call him for stupid reasons like this. I dont mind him calling but be nice about it for chrissakes! So we hang up at odds with each other. Then I have a long phone interview with the anesthesiologist because DD is having a cyst removed next week. When I call DH to tell him about it (I am a little weepy after hearing about the side effects of the anesthesia) he is mad at me again and tells me he has 8 hours of meetings on Tuesday(the day of the surgery) WTF! We talked about the day and he was going to take the day off. So he acts like I never told him about it and he had no idea he needed the day off. Then he hangs up on me.
I know he's grouchy because he hasnt been home in so long (except for less than 48 hours last weekend) and he has lots of stuff to do (like mow the lawn). But I dont know why he has to be such a jerk to me.
He will apologize but it never seems like he really thinks he should. And if I ask for an apology, I get it but it doesnt seem genuine. Its like he's saying he's sorry just to get me off his back. Once it blows over (sometimes an hour or so) he will act like everything is fine and be nice again and I am still upset and sad over how he treated me.
He's a good dad. He does everything around the house and works hard at his job too. He just can be so moody after these stupid business trips.
This time he has been on the road for 4 weeks just about. The first week him and I took a solo kids-free vacation to the Caribbean. He had to fly out the next day across the country for 2 weeks for training for his new job. So the kids saw him for like 4 hours before he had to leave (we werent at our house either so he didnt get to go home). Then he is gone for 2 weeks and comes home last weekend on Sat morning and leave again early Monday (like before kids wake up) for some other management meeting at new company. So this is the 4th week he's gone. I work full-time so this hasnt exactly been a picnic for me either. I've been waking up at 5:30, getting the kids dressed and ready for school and fed. Driving DS to daycare (15 minutes each way) then getting home right in time to grab DD's backpack and run outside to catch the schoolbus. Then I jump in the car and go to work. Then after work I have to pick both kids up and go home and feed the dog, make dinner, baths, put them to bed. All by myself for 3 weeks! (I know some of you do this longer). But 3 weeks is a long time. And I've been good about it. No calling DH at night complaining. He's been calling me almost nightly and we chat for a few minutes.
So today he gets home and we talk on the phone. He seems fine. Then he calls me back and is pissy asking me where he is picking DD up at (daycare or school?). And I say I whereever he wants to. I dont know. He had mentioned wanting to pick the kids up if he slept well on the plane. So this is his thing, not mine. I know not to make plans for him because he then accuses me to planning out his entire day/weekend, etc...So then he asks for the school phone #. And I tell him that he can look it up online (I dont know the number offhand, I get online and look it up!) Why are men so helpless sometimes? When I am at home with the kids alone I dont call him for stupid reasons like this. I dont mind him calling but be nice about it for chrissakes! So we hang up at odds with each other. Then I have a long phone interview with the anesthesiologist because DD is having a cyst removed next week. When I call DH to tell him about it (I am a little weepy after hearing about the side effects of the anesthesia) he is mad at me again and tells me he has 8 hours of meetings on Tuesday(the day of the surgery) WTF! We talked about the day and he was going to take the day off. So he acts like I never told him about it and he had no idea he needed the day off. Then he hangs up on me.
I know he's grouchy because he hasnt been home in so long (except for less than 48 hours last weekend) and he has lots of stuff to do (like mow the lawn). But I dont know why he has to be such a jerk to me.
He will apologize but it never seems like he really thinks he should. And if I ask for an apology, I get it but it doesnt seem genuine. Its like he's saying he's sorry just to get me off his back. Once it blows over (sometimes an hour or so) he will act like everything is fine and be nice again and I am still upset and sad over how he treated me.
He's a good dad. He does everything around the house and works hard at his job too. He just can be so moody after these stupid business trips.