View Full Version : DD2, you make me hate parenting.
twowhat?
05-21-2012, 01:28 AM
And I am losing hope that you'll "grow out of" this awful, awful "phase".
elephantmeg
05-21-2012, 01:36 AM
aww, I am so, so sorry! I hope that she does grow out of it! Sending P+PT thoughts
goldenpig
05-21-2012, 01:42 AM
:hug: Hope things get better soon!
ellies mom
05-21-2012, 02:07 AM
I wish you were close enough that I could buy you a drink (or several on some days) and commiserate. :hug:
lmh2402
05-21-2012, 07:19 AM
i'm so sorry. honestly, i understand. it's a horrible way to feel, isn't it?
the combo of exhaustion, frustration, anger...and then guilt for feeling that way...is just horrid
:hug: :hug: :hug:
hillview
05-21-2012, 07:24 AM
i'm so sorry. honestly, i understand. it's a horrible way to feel, isn't it?
the combo of exhaustion, frustration, anger...and then guilt for feeling that way...is just horrid
:hug: :hug: :hug:
:yeahthat: i had several longer than moments like this this weekend
TwinFoxes
05-21-2012, 07:30 AM
I'm so sorry. :hug:
DietCokeLover
05-21-2012, 07:59 AM
Hope things improve very soon.
twowhat?
05-21-2012, 08:08 AM
i'm so sorry. honestly, i understand. it's a horrible way to feel, isn't it?
the combo of exhaustion, frustration, anger...and then guilt for feeling that way...is just horrid
:hug: :hug: :hug:
It IS an awful way to feel! It makes me feel like a TERRIBLE parent. I really don't know how those of you with children with actual special needs do it.:bowdown: DD2 is a normal kid. She's beautiful. She's bright. She gives the best hugs. She is an "angel" and "always cooperative" at school. She just throws terrible tantrums at home. That's it. I totally feel inferior for simply not being able to handle them. Sometimes I feel like I'd be able to power through if she would just sleep through the night consistently. But she doesn't! Just this weekend she threw TWO tantrums in the middle of the night on separate nights (and I know they weren't sleep terrors - she has those too and I can tell them apart easily based on timing and responsiveness) - each lasting an HOUR. And to top it off, the nights that she has tantrums, we can almost be guaranteed to have to get up again later because she'll have a bloody nose from all the screaming. This morning I have a headache from not getting enough sleep, even though I went to bed at 10pm knowing I'd have to wake up early to get ready for the workday, and even though DH totally handled the tantrums - I can hear her from every room in this 3600 sq ft house, even with our bedroom door shut - she is so loud.
And I just cannot wait until I can throw DD2 in the car with her breakfast (since she's going to sleep late from being up twice last night) and drop her off at school and it makes me want to cry for feeling this way:(
MamaMolly
05-21-2012, 08:09 AM
i'm so sorry. honestly, i understand. it's a horrible way to feel, isn't it?
the combo of exhaustion, frustration, anger...and then guilt for feeling that way...is just horrid
:hug: :hug: :hug:
Oh yes. That. And it is completely rotten. Huge hugs, Mama.
MamaMolly
05-21-2012, 08:12 AM
And I just cannot wait until I can throw DD2 in the car with her breakfast (since she's going to sleep late from being up twice last night) and drop her off at school and it makes me want to cry for feeling this way:(
Don't feel bad. Please be kind to yourself. Some kids are just HARD to parent, and anyone in that situation would get worn down. Fantasizing about relief is a coping mechanism that hurts no one. Huge hugs.
♥ms.pacman♥
05-21-2012, 08:44 AM
Don't feel bad. Please be kind to yourself. Some kids are just HARD to parent, and anyone in that situation would get worn down. Fantasizing about relief is a coping mechanism that hurts no one. Huge hugs.
:yeahthat:
Sending hugs. :hug:
hellokitty
05-21-2012, 10:12 AM
Don't feel bad. Two out of my three children are extremely intense and test every bit of patience I have. I sometimes hate how I end up dealing with them, since they are so difficult, loud and uncooperative. I've learned not to judge other parents due to this, I mother my kids the same way, but one of them is pretty angelic and the other two are very obnoxious. It's part of their personality and I'm learning to just accept it. I do not think they will outgrow it, since my niece is the same way and now she's almost middle school aged and is pretty much still the same way (I love to blame my DH's side of genes for this, I honestly think that my neice and my two younger boys take after my mil and her difficult, fussy, loud personality). I also find that I relate more to DS1, since he is more like me, and that is probably another reason why I find it harder to parent my two younger ones, since they are so opposite of what I am like (I am usually soft spoke and I do NOT like loud noises, but I think DS2 and DS3's mission in life is to be as loud as possible in whatever they do).
Twoboos
05-21-2012, 10:18 AM
It IS an awful way to feel! It makes me feel like a TERRIBLE parent. I really don't know how those of you with children with actual special needs do it.:bowdown: DD2 is a normal kid. She's beautiful. She's bright. She gives the best hugs. She is an "angel" and "always cooperative" at school. She just throws terrible tantrums at home. That's it. I totally feel inferior for simply not being able to handle them.
:yeahthat: I know, I totally know. Each weekend I tell myself that on Monday I am calling a therapist for her!! She just saves it all up for us and unleashes. And my DD2 is *6.5.* So I've been going through it for a long, long time.
We have decided she needs coping skills for the things that set her off. Usually not getting what she wants, hearing no, being told what to do. You know, those typical 2/3yo things - she never grew out of that. (So funny, she was horrified to watch my 2yo niece have a screaming-fall-down-tantrum about something, and I told DD, "That's what YOU look like." :ROTFLMAO: )
Hugs, you are definitely doing your best. It's so hard and exhausting!
janine
05-21-2012, 02:16 PM
I'm sorry - and it's ok to have these feelings. Things will get better though, you have to remind yourself of that.
Is there any chance it's something that is causing the nighttime outbursts? Adenoids, night terrors,etc?
We've had issues at night as well, lately it's been better - I hope things get better for you, you're a great mommy!!
TwoBees
05-21-2012, 02:31 PM
Huge hugs and twisty straws! Sometimes it can be so, so hard. Especially when you are sleep deprived. :grouphug:
twowhat?
05-21-2012, 10:22 PM
Thank you all for your kind words - they did really help me feel better and less guilty about thinking these thoughts. On bad days I think to myself "why did I ever decide to become a parent? I'm not cut out for it" and I'm glad to see that's totally normal!
♥ms.pacman♥
05-21-2012, 10:59 PM
Thank you all for your kind words - they did really help me feel better and less guilty about thinking these thoughts. On bad days I think to myself "why did I ever decide to become a parent? I'm not cut out for it" and I'm glad to see that's totally normal!
yes, i think it's normal...on bad days, i often think to myself, why oh why did i have 2 so close together, what the frack was i thinking... life would be soooooo much easier with just one. I feel so bad thinking that though, i love my DD to pieces. the stress of parenting during certain times can be definitely be very, very hard to deal with. :hug:
Multimama
05-21-2012, 11:02 PM
I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say I have a 3 year old and I feel your pain. Parenting is so incredibly hard.
maestramommy
05-22-2012, 07:31 AM
And I just cannot wait until I can throw DD2 in the car with her breakfast (since she's going to sleep late from being up twice last night) and drop her off at school and it makes me want to cry for feeling this way:(
Oh I totally understand this. :hug::hug::hug:
hellokitty
05-22-2012, 08:14 AM
yes, i think it's normal...on bad days, i often think to myself, why oh why did i have 2 so close together, what the frack was i thinking... life would be soooooo much easier with just one. I feel so bad thinking that though, i love my DD to pieces. the stress of parenting during certain times can be definitely be very, very hard to deal with. :hug:
Yeah, we don't know how good we have it, when we only have one, until the next one comes along. I realize that my complaints when I only had DS1 were pretty petty. When DS2 came along, omg, I was like, "what have I gotten myself into?" Of course, maybe I'm just dumb, b/c I went on the have DS3, who is a mini-me of DS2. So, out of my 3, two are super intense and difficult to parent. I had dumb luck with DS1, he was too good, good enough to trick us into think that we could have more like him.
lhafer
05-22-2012, 09:47 AM
Yeah, we don't know how good we have it, when we only have one, until the next one comes along. I realize that my complaints when I only had DS1 were pretty petty. When DS2 came along, omg, I was like, "what have I gotten myself into?" Of course, maybe I'm just dumb, b/c I went on the have DS3, who is a mini-me of DS2. So, out of my 3, two are super intense and difficult to parent. I had dumb luck with DS1, he was too good, good enough to trick us into think that we could have more like him.
I can totally relate to this thread. But it's my DD1, not DD2 that's the issue. If DD1 had had the personality of DD2, we would have had SO many more kids!
But it's SO d@mn hard sometimes. She constantly tests her boundaries and it's so exhausting. It's that level of exhaustion that other parents don't tell you about because 1. they don't have to live with it, and/or 2. they do and feel like they are the only ones so never bring it up. And it's not lack of sleep (though DD1 is just now beginning to really sleep through the night on a regular basis at 6 years old, and I swear it's because we moved the girls into the same room at night). That's a different kind of exhaustion.
It's the end-of-my-rope, I've-tried-everything, what-else-can-I-do-with-you constant tryingness of it all. It's actually hard to put into words. Especially trying to explain it with other people who have more "normal" kids.
I've always said DD1 was my more difficult child. But I know that my family and friends didn't believe me - she's smart, funny, active, gets along with others, etc. It wasn't until I spent a week with the girls at my sister's house where she finally understood where I was coming from.
You are not alone!! Hugs to you. :hug: Starting around 2.5 years old, I kept telling myself that the next year would be better, more pleasant, that she would be more fun and less frustrating. It hasn't happened for me yet. I have high hopes for 7. Maybe that's the year...
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