No Babysitter...

[cindys]

DH got free tickets to go see KC & The Sunshine Band, The Trammps and Steve Winwood for tonite.

But we have no babysitter.

My Mom is our only babysitter and when she is in town she watches the kids while I work so we never ask her to watch them so we can do something just the 2 of us.

Now she has been only doing this since mid-jan and so far I have had to take 3 wks vacation because she goes on vacation.

We talked to her in length abt watching the kids and told her if she couldnt commit or didnt want to that was ok we just needed to know so that we could get the kids enrolled in daycare.

She was adamant that she wanted to do it and didnt want the boys in daycare.

Well, she is out of town for the next 2 weeks and then is having friends visit and cant watch the kids because she has to take her friends sight seeing and she told me that she wasnt going to spend her summer watching kids.

I had to sign the boys up for daycare @ $400/wk..

I am livid...I know that my kids arent her responsibility but she did commit.

So, I am mad abt the daycare and mad abt the concert.

DH and I are NEVER alone...

For my mental well being we really need to move and get our life back.

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...20, 6 & 3 :heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

[hillview]

I am sorry that sucks. HUGS

[crl]

I am so sorry. Have you asked around to try to find a date night sitter? I just mention that because I get most of my sitters through neighbors/friends.

Catherine

[niccig]

I am so sorry. Have you asked around to try to find a date night sitter? I just mention that because I get most of my sitters through neighbors/friends.

Catherine

Of when they start daycare, maybe one of the teachers babysits on the side.
Sounds like daycare would be better for you as it's reliable whereas your mum isn't.

[justlearning]

That must be frustrating to have a mom commit to you then back out--hugs. For your own sanity, until you're able to move away, can you just pretend that you've already moved and not ask her to watch your kids at all? Then once she starts missing them, maybe she'll beg to watch them and give you a date night and you can say yes then.

For tonight, do you have any friends who you could call to see if they could watch your kids and say that you'll return the favor for them? Or how about posting on facebook or sending out a mass email saying that you need a sitter for tonight and asking for recommendations?

I hope you're able to find a sitter and can enjoy the date with your husband.

[cindys]

Thanks everyone...but no date nite no babysitter..but whats new..

I keep telling DH I am an emotional wreck living here..Its been 2 yrs and I truly cant handle anymore...He listens to me but he doesnt hear me.

Our house hunting has been and continues to be a bust because of all the restrictions DH has..We have lost out on 3 great houses and all I hear is "well, i guess they werent meant to be" which abt sends me into orbit.

I am so depressed and I am a witch to my kids.

I have seriously thought of getting some meds to try to help me.

And to top it all off DH wants his Mother to come help watch the kids while my Mom is gone...MIL is like a child herself and its way more work for her to be here because I have to make lunches and snacks for during the day, she doesnt like the heat and the boys love to be outside, she doesnt drive so they are stuck home all day and she expects DH to take her out to eat every night.

Sorry, I just went off on a tangent :)

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...20, 6 & 3 :heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

[HannaAddict]

You need to find a sitter. I trust our good sitters far more than my relatives - they are professional, understand and respect safety rules and don't do things their way as my MIL would do. Do you have any friends or a local moms' list serve to ask for sitter recs? Is there a university near you? Our neighborhood is dominated by the early education majors from the local college. It will cost $$ but is worth it for your mental health and I think once you try a sitter, versus depending on relatives you will be glad you did. Sorry you couldn't get out tonight. :(

[DualvansMommy]

Sorry to hear you're having it tough. I can hear you on the house-hunting bit, it took us 2 years to find our ideal current home, but then I wasn't in a position of wanting to get outta town, as was living in a pretty decent condo then.

As far as a babysitter; perhaps you could enlist a high school kid like a junior since summer break is coming up?? just to give you few hours of respite and do something "fun" for you and you only. On the topic of MIL, i would really put my foot down with DH on it, if it's more work for you then it isn't worth the headache or aggravation. For instance, my DH wants to invite his parents over every fricking weekend to see our DS for dinner, it meant i had to food shop, prep dinner, and deal with an extremely excitable DS during his bedtime routine. There were quite few nights when DS would.not.settle.down for the night till 2-3 hours later, which meant I HAD to take care of him. Put down my foot one day after DH commented dinner wasn't that great after in-laws left, blew a gasket at him and told him from now on, if you feel so badly about DS spend time with YOUR parents, then bring him over to their house and give ME a break! and i only invite in laws over for brunch/lunch, not dinner anymore and it isn't every weekend anymore now.

sorry, it's so long but it's a big pet peeve of mine. When in laws create more work for you, then no.friggin.way.

[kozachka]

Hugs. It's tough to not have social time. We have no direct family in the area so we have to rely on babysitters. It is expensive at $15-$20 per hour, but that's the going rate for 1 child in our high COL, so we try to do breakfast and lunche dates/meetings with friends whenever possible, and pay the rest of the time. It's cheaper than divorce.

As far as child care is concerned, it sucks that your mom turned out to be so unreliable and did not give you enough notice. I'd consider this her notice and start looking for an alternative. Unfortunately, that's been my friends experience with even paid babysitters, so your best bet probably is to go with a center.

Not sure if $400 per week is expensive or not where you live. Here I'd have to pay $1,200-1,500 per month or more for a young child and $750 for a kindergartener ($600 as of 1st grade), or >$500 per week for two kids. So unless it's $400 per child per week, it's not bad by our standards. Plus if you move away, you'd have to pay for childcare anyway. But having to look for a new place on a very short notice is extremely stressful and difficult. DS was kicked out of his first after-school care with a few days notice (we were told on Thursday that he should not come on Monday) and takes a toll on the parents, typically mom (at least in our case). I was almost literally tearing my hair out, trying to figure out which program has space for DS in February and will pick him up from school, so I know this sucks big time.

Hope you can sort things out, but given what you wrote about your MIL, there is no way, no how, I'd rely on her as your child care provider either. And you need to re-negotiate the must have list for the houses with DH. Easier said than done, I know. Might be worth a trip to family counselor if this issue is bad enough for you to consider medicating yourself.

Lots and lots of hugs.