Thank you DH for setting DS off so bad that he has been screaming uncontrollably

[HIU8]

for over an hour OVER A SHOEHORN.

DH has this issue that the bedtime routine has to be done certain way and ONLY that way. We have been working with a behavioral therapist who told DH that as long as DS gets all the tasks done we should allow him to decide the order. DH, for some reason, refuses to listen to this. He just yells, gets angry and walks out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I dont' know how much more I can take of this, and poor DS is really hurt by it--more than DH realizes.

[niccig]

Sounds like DH needs the behavioral therapist to ask "why must the routine be the way you say it has to be? Does it really matter if your son brushes his teeth then puts his pjs on rather than pjs first then teeth?"

Have you asked DH why it has to be his way? I ask because my Dad was like this, especially about getting out of bed by a certain time. After years of us always fighting over it, he was at his psychologist and she asked what the problem was and he told her in front of my mother that he is lonely in the mornings as he gets up at 5am, so around 7am he wanted people up to keep him company. The psychologist gave him a list of things he could be doing in the morning, he started going to the pool and swimming with the other early birds and the fighting over getting up early stopped. Just wondering if your DH has a reason other than "must be my way or the highway?"

[dcmom2b3]

OMG! DH is acting so, so, [struggling for kind words here] so not grownup. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, just hugs. :grouphug:

[StantonHyde]

I'm so sorry--you need an ally, not another high needs person to defuse. Does your DH not get that this is about your son, not DH. That what counts is getting DS through the day while being healthy--not a DH control thing? Has DH had any individual counseling? When is the next meeting with the counselor? Can you call and get one sooner? I would and would make it about DH's parenting--he really needs a 3rd party to help him see that his behavior is not beneficial. (ohhhh, how's that for a nice, grown up sounding word instead of something else that comes to mind. :love eyes:) Good luck!