Awkward BDay Party coincidence....

[connor_mommy]

Our two boys were invited to our close friends' son's birthday party at a laser tag place. When we pulled up we saw a classmate of his walking in. And when we parked, the car that pulled up next us another was another friend. We all walked in together. His classmate/baseball teammate was having his birthday celebration at the same place. All of the boys from our class and baseball team were invited, but not DS. I don't think DS noticed, but DH and I felt awkward being there in the lobby. I don't care that we weren't invited, but it just felt really uncomfortable. The other boy's parents did come over to see if we were there just to play laser tag.

[elbenn]

I think it was rude of them to invite all but one boy from the class. I'm glad your DS didn't notice.

[rin]

I think it was rude of them to invite all but one boy from the class. I'm glad your DS didn't notice.

:yeahthat:

That's totally uncool of them. I wonder if it was a mistake? If not, that's really sad to me that his parents wouldn't be more careful about such a huge social faux pas.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think it was rude of them to invite all but one boy from the class. I'm glad your DS didn't notice.

:yeahthat:

I'm sorry. That sucks.

We once showed up at our pool and saw lots of kids walk in that don't normally go there. Pretty much every kid from ds1's class was there for a classmate's party. Ds1 was not invited. Ds1 noticed but wasn't too upset. I was pissed. The worst part was when they were singing happy birthday and eating cake. If I were the host, I would have included ds1, just because he was the only kid there that age not being included. Wouldn't have been that hard and would have really made a difference. It's not that the kids were enemies or anything either, just not great friends. (eta- it's a really small pool so no where they/ we could be where we weren't right there)

[belovedgandp]

So sorry. I feel that way about every week when DS is excited to see kids from his grade at soccer (their team plays games immediately after ours). The other team is 100% kids from his grade, but DS was the odd man out this season and is on a team with random kids from a variety of schools. Fortunately I don't think he's put it together and just sees his team and not the whole picture of theirs, but it stinks.

[MamaMolly]

Our two boys were invited to our close friends' son's birthday party at a laser tag place. When we pulled up we saw a classmate of his walking in. And when we parked, the car that pulled up next us another was another friend. We all walked in together. His classmate/baseball teammate was having his birthday celebration at the same place. All of the boys from our class and baseball team were invited, but not DS. I don't think DS noticed, but DH and I felt awkward being there in the lobby. I don't care that we weren't invited, but it just felt really uncomfortable. The other boy's parents did come over to see if we were there just to play laser tag.

I wonder if they thought your DS was invited but hadn't RSVPd? And were thinking it was strange to see you there? Otherwise them coming over to say anything other than Hello is REALLY strange IMO.

[scrooks]

I wonder if they thought your DS was invited but hadn't RSVPd? And were thinking it was strange to see you there? Otherwise them coming over to say anything other than Hello is REALLY strange IMO.

:yeahthat: i was thinking the same thing. It was weird of them to approach you unless they were going to offer to include your DS.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Maybe they thought they were being sneaky? "Oh, we're just here to play laser tag too and ook how many other people had the same idea??"

[carolinamama]

:yeahthat: i was thinking the same thing. It was weird of them to approach you unless they were going to offer to include your DS.

Is it possible that your DS was invited but somehow the invite got lost? It doesn't sound strange that they approached you.

Last week we got an invite for a neighbor's DS's birthday party on Tuesday when the party was Friday. The RSVP date was the Monday prior to our receiving the invite. We were obviously 2nd or 3rd tier. I think she realized that the party was being held at our neighborhood pool and that we might be there after we were all at a pool party together Memorial Day. I also wasn't upset that my boys weren't originally invited but I thought it was awkward.

[dogmom]

I think it was rude of them to invite all but one boy from the class. I'm glad your DS didn't notice.

I just have to say as a parent of an older child it get IMPOSSIBLE to invite the whole class after a few grades. You either have to not invite good friends your child has developed over the grades or choose not to invite the whole class. Not to mention the friends that your DC develop from activities and other relationships. We have 80-100 kids in my DC grades, one's invite list could easily by 30-40 kids, which sort of rules out most birthday party places. I realize this is a BP, but I would have thought the same thing also when my kid was younger and know I'm, "Oh, I see." Now it's just easier to invite kids my DS would actually have over to the hours to play with, kids he spends time with at school, etc. I've also gone from being hurt for no party invitation to relieved since there are so many activities.

To the original poster, yes, very awkward situation.

[Melbel]

I just have to say as a parent of an older child it get IMPOSSIBLE to invite the whole class after a few grades. You either have to not invite good friends your child has developed over the grades or choose not to invite the whole class. Not to mention the friends that your DC develop from activities and other relationships. We have 80-100 kids in my DC grades, one's invite list could easily by 30-40 kids, which sort of rules out most birthday party places. I realize this is a BP, but I would have thought the same thing also when my kid was younger and know I'm, "Oh, I see." Now it's just easier to invite kids my DS would actually have over to the hours to play with, kids he spends time with at school, etc. I've also gone from being hurt for no party invitation to relieved since there are so many activities.

To the original poster, yes, very awkward situation.

I have no problem not inviting everyone in the class when the children get older, class sizes get larger, and circles of friends expand with activities. I do think it is very poor judgment to invite all of the boys from a class except one. I hope it was a lost invitation situation that will somehow be discovered. It had to be awkward for all parties involved.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have no problem not inviting everyone in the class when the children get older, class sizes get larger, and circles of friends expand with activities. I do think it is very poor judgment to invite all of the boys from a class except one. I hope it was a lost invitation situation that will somehow be discovered. It had to be awkward for all parties involved.


Exactly. 12 boys in the class? If you invite 11 of them, you're kind of a jerk, IMO. It would take a major, major conflict to merit excluding 1. The op wasn't talking about only 6 boys; it sounded like all but ds was included.

[connor_mommy]

i was thinking the same thing. It was weird of them to approach you unless they were going to offer to include your DS.

I had a feeling that's why they came over, but we knew all the parents there and most just waved or said hello. We were invited last year by evite, so I don't think we were invited this year. We were there for our friends who does not go to our school. The kids did all end up playing together in the laser tag arena. It's just awkward, that's all.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Check your spam folder; evites land there sometimes.

[Green_Tea]

12 boys in the class? If you invite 11 of them, you're kind of a jerk, IMO. It would take a major, major conflict to merit excluding 1. The op wasn't talking about only 6 boys; it sounded like all but ds was included.

:yeahthat:

[connor_mommy]

Check your spam folder; evites land there sometimes.

No, I never received one. I was on evite to reply to a few other events and I never saw it there.

[connor_mommy]

I totally get that kids have their own friends and it's their choice who gets invited. I'm cool with that. There were also kids from our baseball team that boys played on together. It's just awkward when the other kids think that we're there for their party. His classmate did come up and give him a game card and I had to tell him we were there for someone else's party. I just felt uncomfortable.

[ha98ed14]

I totally get that kids have their own friends and it's their choice who gets invited. I'm cool with that. There were also kids from our baseball team that boys played on together. It's just awkward when the other kids think that we're there for their party. His classmate did come up and give him a game card and I had to tell him we were there for someone else's party. I just felt uncomfortable.

Just think about how uncomfortable the other mom was! (And she deserved every bit of it!) Very, very poor form to invite all the team/classmates save one. You don't want DS to be friends with people like that, anyway. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[ilfaith]

Is there any possibility that your DS might have told the birthday boy that he already had plans to go to another birthday party on the same day? Although it still would have been polite of the classmate/teammate to have sent an invitation to your son, if they were trying to limit their guest list to a certain number and knew your son wouldn't be able to come, they could have cut him for that reason. I do agree that it is wrong to leave out just one kid from the class/team, but I am trying to think of something that might excuse their rudeness.

[DrSally]

Very awkward, and ITA that it's bad form to invite everyone but one. We invited DS's whole K class, and I'd say about 5-7 couldn't come. Whenever I run into one of the boys who didn't come, his mom doesn't really talk to me at all, and I'm a friendly person. She sometimes even turns her back. I've always wondered if that boy's invite got lost and she thinks we didn't invite him?! But, I sent invites via email and paper (last minute party), so IDK. I wish I could find out though!

[HannaAddict]

Just think about how uncomfortable the other mom was! (And she deserved every bit of it!) Very, very poor form to invite all the team/classmates save one. You don't want DS to be friends with people like that, anyway. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Really? Pretty harsh and judgmental of a child I think.

[ha98ed14]

Really? Pretty harsh and judgmental of a child I think.

Maybe it is undeserved I this case; obviously I don't know the bday child, but IMO kindness begins at home. Assuming the invite was not mislaid or lost in the mail/cyberspace, either the child said, " I want to invite all of the kids except Dsofopa." and his parents said that was okay, or this was the parent's idea. If either if these is the case,I'm going to bet that this won't be a child with much empathy for others because it isn't being taught or reinforced at home. JMO.

[chlobo]

I had a feeling that's why they came over, but we knew all the parents there and most just waved or said hello. We were invited last year by evite, so I don't think we were invited this year. We were there for our friends who does not go to our school. The kids did all end up playing together in the laser tag arena. It's just awkward, that's all.

My daughter was invited to a party for a girl she didn't know very well (via evite). However, one of my DDs friends is good friends with this girls so I emailed the mom to ask if she was going (she was listed on the evite but hadn't responded). Well apparently the mom never even got the evite. Had no idea about the party. Emailed the host mom who said, of course you were included, and it turns out several of the people on the evite hadn't gotten the invitation for some reason. So mistakes do happen. Even on evite.