DS and screaming toddlers- what to tell him to do?

[blue]

I don't know what else to tell DS.... Two of our next door neighbor girls love to scream at the top of their lungs when DS walks by, this causes DS to burst out in tears (probably why they love to scream because of his reaction). The girls are 2 and DS is almost 3. I have told him that they are babies and don't know better, and that I am sorry that it hurts his ears so much (they are very good high pitched screamers). I don't know what else to do.

It is getting annoying because I just filled up the kiddy pool for DS to play in while I worked on the back yard. We didn't make it 5 minutes outside before the babies screamed, DS cried and begged to go inside. It is gorgeous out, I NEED to be outside (we have long winters and I need all the sun while I can get it).

I am about ready to tell DS to scream back at them :o, but their has to be a better solution then that. Any ideas would be welcome, thanks!

[crl]

Have you approached their caregiver about this? I wonder if he or she would be willing to help. My dd is two and she totally understands the threat of having to go inside if she doesn't do what I ask. If I knew it was a problem, I would be happy to tell her we have to go inside of she screams at another child.

Catherine

[JBaxter]

Are they just screaming to get a reaction from him?

[blue]

Have you approached their caregiver about this? I wonder if he or she would be willing to help. My dd is two and she totally understands the threat of having to go inside if she doesn't do what I ask. If I knew it was a problem, I would be happy to tell her we have to go inside of she screams at another child.

Catherine
I thought of approaching the parents. However, the girls are inside their house with the windows open (since it is hot out), and DS and I are outside, they see him and scream. Our houses are close together and DS is now afraid to go on the side of our house close to theirs. DS loves playing with their older brother but is scared of the girls.... When the parents hear their girls screaming, they tell them not to, so I am not sure what else they could do (but will gladly approach them if you guys think its a good idea).


Are they just screaming to get a reaction from him? I am not sure, since they are not that verbal yet (DS wasn't at that age either), but that is my guess as to why they scream.

..... Tonight at dinner I told DS if they scream at you to look at them and say "don't scream at me, I don't like that". I had him practice with me a few times. He has just recently started to practice using his words to stick up for himself (another older neighbor kid was hitting him and DS is getting good at yelling "no, don't hit me I don't like that", then we leave). ...After dinner tonight, he played with the older brother in our yard, but the second he saw the girls in the window, he would run screaming to me (even when the girls did nothing).... I have no idea what else to do.

[JBaxter]

I will say if someone came to me and said please have my 2 yr old stop screaming or squealing outside I would give them a very odd look. Screaming is allowed in the yard. Does your son have sensory issues?

[TwinFoxes]

After dinner tonight, he played with the older brother in our yard, but the second he saw the girls in the window, he would run screaming to me (even when the girls did nothing).... I have no idea what else to do.

I think you are involved in a toddler game and don't know it. :) they scream to see him react, he cries to see you react. I have a feeling the novelty will wear off soon...a kiddie pool is pretty appealing, invite them over, or just let him know he can't go in it if he gets upset at their screaming. Maybe make it a game, can he get them to giggle instead of scream.

[mikala]

In your shoes I'd continue to focus on working with your son on his reaction to the noise. At some level it seems a bit like getting used to a dog barking or other typical outdoor noises. I'm sure the shrieking is really annoying but it can't be totally unexpected if it happens most of the time you're outside. It should pass over time as the neighbors age and get better at other methods of communication.

Assuming he isn't willing to just say hi and wave when they screech I wonder if there is something playful he could do when they start to scream. Maybe when they scream he could playfully roar like a lion or moo like a cow. It might seem a little strange but I'm guessing it would change the dynamics of the situation and might get all of the kids giggling instead of the screeching/tears cycle you have going right now.

[Green_Tea]

I think you are involved in a toddler game and don't know it. :) they scream to see him react, he cries to see you react.

:yeahthat:

Honestly, I'd ignore both the screaming little girls AND your son's reaction to it. Giving either of the parties a great deal of attention for the behavior is only going to reinforce it.

[crl]

Hmm, maybe I just come at this from a different angle because ds had some auditory sensory issues? Bad enough that he once wet his pants at Nordstrom (long after he potty trained) because he refused to go into the loud public bathroom. I had been ignoring and assuming he would just get over it, but at that point I decided I had to take him seriously. We got him some noise blocking headphones and he was immediately able to use public restrooms and go to movies and to a major league ballpark. It was huge for him. (He has outgrown this issue now, btw.)

I do agree that in general being loud outdoors is acceptable behavior. However general loudness seems a bit different to me than screeching directed at someone. If it was my daughter and she was preventing your son from enjoying his own yard, I would want to know about it and I would make a concerted effort to have her change her behavior.

I seem to be in the minority on this though so I'm not sure what I would advise.

Catherine

[Radosti]

Bring your mp3 player and some speakers out and have a dance party outside with your ds. The louder they scream, the louder you turn up the music and dance around with your ds. First, it wll draw his attention away from their screaming. And second, if you do some crazy dancing, it will distract them enough to stop the screeching.

[California]

If I put myself in your DS's shoes I can totally see how he would be upset by this. If my neighbors screamed every time they saw me outside I wouldn't like it either.

He's three. Perfect age to empower him in unexpected and goofy ways.

Thinking giant ear muffs. Tell him you are going to surprise the girls with his super special magic ear protectors. Maybe a magic cape, too. Arming him with an umbrella would be my last resort. My 3 year old loves to hold umbrellas, and something about hiding behind one makes kids feel like they are in a special spot.

If you've already tried role playing, maybe incorporate the magic ear muffs into the role playing first before going out. Stuffed animals are great for this.

When he first wears them out have something planned that is really really fun-- like a squirt gun fight with him mainly getting you and you being squealy and noisy and having a blast. He may not be ready right away and it may take several tries, but eventually I bet he'll figure it out. And as soon as he does... they'll stop screaming!

[fortato]

Two words... Air Horn.

Give him one... every time they scream, tell him to give them a blast. They'll learn.

[California]

Air horn could nip the problem right in the bud!