What to do with 5yo who wants to use the potty at every single store?

[wendibird22]

DD is soon to be 5yo. She's been PT'd since she was 3. She doesn't have accidents and has good bladder control. Any time we go in the car we are always sure that she's gone to the bathroom first before leaving the house. She doesn't drink a ton of fluids...actually she doesn't drink nearly enough.

So, any time we go on a few errands she has to go to the bathroom every place we stop at even if it's only been 15min since the last stop. If I ask her to hold it (because I know she just went) she'll flip out and cry and say she's going to wet her pants. We'll go find the bathroom and then she'll wait and wait because clearly she didn't have to do that bad. Then she'll go a few drips and says "see I had to go." It takes FOREVER to get errands done because of this. Today it was Target and Michaels. It was 20min to Target and then we were in Target for 20min. She asked to go on the way out. Fine we'd been gone 40mins, no problem. Then we go across the street to Michaels and we are in there max 15 mins. Cash out and are on the way out of the store and she says she has to go and she's going to wet her pants. Bathroom is in way back corner of the store and I have 2 heavy bags and 2.5yo DD2 in tow. She's lucky if 2 drips came out. I was ready to go ballistic.

WWYD?

[lhafer]

I would make her wait, especially if you know she just went and doesn't ahve to go again. If she isn't going to the bathroom every 15 minutes at home, and only does this on errands, it probably isn't a UTI.

I have to do this with my 6 year old too. If she comments that she has to pee and I know she doesn't - I get her distracted with something else and after a few minutes, the talk of needing to go to the bathroom disappears and we can continue on with our errand.

It can be very frustrating for sure!!

[speo]

I would also make her wait. You know she doesn't need to go. No reason then to keep encouraging this habit she has formed. I would just run the risk of her having an accident (seems very unlikely though). If you stop it for awhile, I would think her strong desire to do it would fade. She'll probably make a scene at first. Good luck!

[trales]

Let her wait, and if she dribbles in her pants to prove her point to you, let her wear wet undies until you get home. She will get the point, mine sure did.

With my DD I felt I had to be harsh since she was trying to be in control of every single situation and trying to make me do things just to be in charge. It was mostly things like this, when I let her "pee" her pants one day, the wet spot was literally the size of a dime, the behavior started to get better. We still have power struggles, but I am reasonable most of the time, and she is finally getting that I am in charge not her.

[wendibird22]

Thanks all. My gut was telling me to do what you all suggested but man oh man I caved because I didn't want to be "that mom" with the crying child saying she's going to wet her pants and me not letting her go with judging mom eyes watching. I'll have a stronger back bone next time!

[hillview]

DS2 does this too -- he actually likes to POOP when we are out and generally visit the bathroom wherever we are. I tell him to go at home when we are leaving and tell him we won't have time when we are at the store. I might tell her she can go ONCE when you are out -- you are going to stores a, b, and c and she can pick which one she wants to pee at.

[turtle12]

No advice -- but i just have to chuckle because my 5yo used to do the same - have to poop in public. If we were in a store, it was guaranteed he had to poop - and now we know all the restroom locations in all the stores we frequent. Luckily this phase has mostly passed. This is what I get for avoiding public restrooms, ESP for number 2!!!!

[Jen841]

We had this too. I called it the X County Bathroom Tour whenever we would do errands.

Honestely they grow out of it!

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Didn't we have a member here one whose kid pooped on the potty on display in Home depot?
Did I dream this?

[123LuckyMom]

Didn't we have a member here one whose kid pooped on the potty on display in Home depot?
Did I dream this?

You just made me snarf my water onto my baby's head!!! Thanks for a great laugh!

[o_mom]

Didn't we have a member here one whose kid pooped on the potty on display in Home depot?
Did I dream this?

Great memory!!

https://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=221078

[katydid1971]

We had this too. I called it the X County Bathroom Tour whenever we would do errands.

Honestely they grow out of it!
:yeahthat: DS totally had a period where he wanted to go to the bathroom at every store. He grew out of it. It was maybe a 2 or 3 month thing.

[kbud]

Sounds just like my 4 year old. She loves public bathrooms and ports potties! We visit every public bathroom wherever we are. They were building a house down from us and had a ports potty on the site. We'd be outside and she'd ask to go and use it inside of in our house. I didn't let her;). She know had imaginary children who also have to use the bathroom in public too;). If she doesn't have to go her child does. If we aren't in a hurry I usually take her. It's funny too because my niece and nephew (same age) will hold it all day to avoid a public bathroom.

[lalasmama]

DD did the same thing for a while. Like someone else mentioned, I believe it was a "control" thing. She hated running errands, and, by claiming she "MUST PEE NOW", she could stop a trip in it's track, and control where we went (even if it was just to the bathroom). This was also a bedtime delay tactic--"Mommy! I need to pee!" "No, you just went potty. It's bedtime now, Full Trouble Name." "Mommy! I need to pee! If you don't let me get out of bed, I will pee in my bed!" "Full Trouble Name, if you pee your bed, you'll be sleeping in a cold, pee bed all night. Now go to sleep." She didn't pee her bed that night, or the next night, or the night after that, either. By night 4 or so, she stopped asking. And she hasn't ever wet the bed.... Nor has she peed her pants out in public, like she threatened.

Now, that being said, I do try to make bargains with DD while we are out. "We need to go to Wal-mart, Joann's, lunch, and my work. What would you like to get done first?" I still get my errands done, but she thinks it was her idea to do Joann's, followed by lunch, followed by my work, followed by Wal-mart....

And, when I was really frustrated, I would remember my dear step-sister. When she was little, she demanded 2 visits per stop.... Once on the way in, once on the way out, and would throw holy fits until she was taken. ... and would manage to poop and pee at every place! And it didn't matter where they were; 2 trips at church, at the pizza place, at the courthouse, at 7-11, at the bank... I think Papa said she stopped when she was about 8 or so.

[alien_host]

DD is 7 and still does this with restaurants. I think she does it b/c she knows I hate public restrooms :hysterical:

I always have her go at home before we leave, I feel mean telling her at the restaurant that she can't go (I mean she just went 15 minutes ago), but I've done it. Plus she would ask just as the food hit the table. Then she rationalizes with me that she "just" drank an entire 12 ounce water and really has to go....

[wendibird22]

Had more errands to do today...walmart and over to the mall's indoor play center (raining here and they needed activity). I told her what we'd be doing and that she could go once. Did walmart first and she didn't say anything until we at the car and DD2 was buckled in. I told her she had to hold it until the mall (across the street). She cried and said she was going to wet her pants and I said, ok then I guess you'll have wet pants and a wet carseat. And wouldn't you know it she held it to the mall and into the store. Victory for me.

Now, we just have to fix the fact that she gets up from "nap" 100x's to pee too. She does this at daycare and home. She doesn't nap anymore but she's required to rest both at home and daycare. She's bored so she gets up every 5min to pee.

[marie]

I must have been told "no, sorry, they don't have a bathroom here" in my childhood a lot because to this day i assume stores don't have public restrooms. :ROTFLMAO: