Professional Moms: QUICK help needed! Update...

[ha98ed14]

Some of you may remember, but in brief:

I've been a contract employee with FirmX for 2+ months and I hate it. Prior to that I was a contract employee for FirmY, and I liked my boss a lot.

I stopped working for FirmY because they didn't have enough work, but now they do and they want me back as a Part Time employee, and I really want to take it and sever ties with FirmX. I just have to figure out how to do it. I was going to go in on Friday and tell BossMan at FirmX, but I chickened out.

I had lunch with Mentor on Fri and his advice was to call BossMan at FirmX on the phone and tell him I'd been offered a Part Time position as a real employee with FirmY (true) so I would need to renegotiate my contracting terms with him at FirmX. I am betting on the fact that BossMan will be pissed enough to tell me not to come back, but *if* he did, I would, just on MY terms. To date, everything thus far has been dictated by him. I wanted the work, so I sucked it up.

I need to contact BossMan TODAY since I'm scheduled to work tomorrow, but can't because I will be at FirmY to accept the position. I can go in to FirmX on Wed and Thurs.

My question is, Can I do this via email? I am such a chicken... BossMan has an explosive temper, which is a big part of why I want out!

[weech]

As someone who absolutely hates the phone (and might equally hate in-person confrontations), I would say don't do it by email unless you are totally willing to completely sever ties...

[wellyes]

Absolutely do not do it by email.

[hillview]

you have to call. Have a glass of wine next to you.

[janine]

Well you can do whatever you like - it's not illegal to quit by phone, text,etc. - it's just really unprofessional.

If it were me I'd suck it up and call if you're not able to stomach doing it in person. If he's explosive you just stay cool and give some neutral resonse and get off the phone.

[BabbyO]

Well, IMO I think that it should be done in person, explosive personality or not, BUT if that is not an option, a formal letter of resignation or notification should be submitted. I guess I wouldn't do it via email, though.

I had an instance where I worked off-site and my hours did not coincide with my boss' hours. I'd accepted a new position and in that case I drove an hour each way after my regular shift to deliver a formal letter to my boss' desk (he wasn't in, my hours were 6:30 am to whenever the contractor quit -usually about 6 pm. Boss' hours were 8 to 4:30).

I'm not sure if that was the way to handle it. Perhaps I should have done it on the phone, but to be fair, I was to be inspecting 3 separate construction crews during regular working hours...our client would have been pretty upset if I'd been on the phone discussing my employment and I'd missed something major on the construction site. It was a tough call, but I felt that was the best way to handle it. I didn't think email was appropriate. Just my 2 cents.

[ha98ed14]

Well you can do whatever you like - it's not illegal to quit by phone, text,etc. - it's just really unprofessional.

If it were me I'd suck it up and call if you're not able to stomach doing it in person. If he's explosive you just stay cool and give some neutral resonse and get off the phone.

Technically, I'm not quitting. I'm just calling to let him know I won't be in tomorrow and I have been offered another position which I intend to take, so I will need to reduce my hours...

But I get your (all's) point: Call. Sh*t!

[theriviera]

I would go in, but if you can't do that, I would call. Is it easy to get time on his calendar? You can always send an outlook invite and give some sort of heads up in the body of the message.

[ha98ed14]

I would go in, but if you can't do that, I would call. Is it easy to get time on his calendar? You can always send an outlook invite and give some sort of heads up in the body of the message.

I can go in on Wed, just not tomorrow. But I need to call. Aahhhh... I am imaging someone is here holding my hand... Say a prayer for me if any of you are the praying kind.

[theriviera]

You can do it!!! The anticipation is worse than the actual event (in most cases). Just think, once it's over you can relax and get excited for the new opportunity!

[BayGirl2]

Yeah, call or in person. Sorry. I'd totally feel the same way and want to do it by email too!

[turtle12]

I would call them to let them know you won't be in on Tues, and that you will be in on Wed to discuss. No need to tell them why you aren't there until Wed, and that you plan to quit.

[ha98ed14]

You can do it!!! The anticipation is worse than the actual event (in most cases). Just think, once it's over you can relax and get excited for the new opportunity!

I did it. I wrote out a script of what I was going to say and read it. It was the shortest conversation ever. I'm going in Wed morning to discuss. He could probably tell I was reading from a script. There was a period of silence after I told him where he was thinking of what to say. He told me to come in Wednesday at 9 to discuss. I said good, see you then. Sweet Lord, help me on Wednesday. At least he will have time to get over being mad.

ETA: OMG, what do I say if he makes me a full time counter offer?!? Oh God.

ETA2: Thanks for your support. I had DD's teddy bear in my lap as I did it.

[lil_acorn]

Absolutely do not do it by email.

:yeahthat:

[twowhat?]

ETA: OMG, what do I say if he makes me a full time counter offer?!? Oh God.

.

When you go in on Wed, bring a dated, printed out, and signed resignation (or change of contract, or whatever) letter. In the letter, include the line "My decision to resign (or reduce my hours, etc) was carefully considered, and is final". Point it out if he tries to counter.

That is, if you know you would not accept any sort of counter (which I am assuming you would not). If you are open to a counter - just do not say anything until you can go home to sleep on it!

[BabbyO]

I did it. I wrote out a script of what I was going to say and read it. It was the shortest conversation ever. I'm going in Wed morning to discuss. He could probably tell I was reading from a script. There was a period of silence after I told him where he was thinking of what to say. He told me to come in Wednesday at 9 to discuss. I said good, see you then. Sweet Lord, help me on Wednesday. At least he will have time to get over being mad.

ETA: OMG, what do I say if he makes me a full time counter offer?!? Oh God.

ETA2: Thanks for your support. I had DD's teddy bear in my lap as I did it.

Nice job!

Be prepared for the counter offer. Talk to DH, SO or whoever can help you evaluate the situation rationally. What can you walk away from, what can you not walk away from? If he counters, know what your "price" is in both salary and intangibles...(vacation time, work from home, flex time, etc).

If you KNOW you are not going to accept a counter offer, just let him you've made your final decision (just like Peggy on Mad Men - for any MM fans out there). "Thank you, I appreciate the offer, but I've made my decision and this is what is right for me."

Good luck and congrats on the new position!


When you go in on Wed, bring a dated, printed out, and signed resignation letter. In the resignation letter, include the line "My decision to resign was carefully considered, and is final". Point it out if he tries to counter.

That is, if you know you would not accept any sort of counter (which I am assuming you would not).

Great advice here, though it sounds like you are not necessarily resigning...just reducing your availability/hours. Regardless, I'd bring in a letter that spells out you're new availability...or draft one and send it after you've discussed the situation with him and come to a mutual conclusion/agreement of your working hours/status moving forward.

[Philly Mom]

Congrats! I would probably role play your wed conversation so you are prepared for anything.