WWYD? 3cm and DH leaves Thurs.

[Staraglimmer]

To stand in a wedding on Sat on the other side of the country. He is scheduled to leave 6 am Thurs and return 10 pm on Sunday. Do I ask him not to go? Do I keep my mouth shut? I told him the Dr said I was 3cm, but he has no idea what that means. I'm not due until July 1 if that matters.


-Stephanie
Mommy to Hailey Michelle 4/08
& a new addition due 7/1/12

[SnuggleBuggles]

That's why I never had checks with ds2- I knew that the info would stress me out. :). I'd be ok with the trip but have a plan in place in case things happen.

[mikala]

A couple things I'd consider while making the decision:
Are you having contractions? Does your doctor feel you are likely to go into labor soon? How quick was your first labor? Do you have someone else to support you if you do happen to go into labor while he's gone? How sure are you about your original due date?

I think we've had threads here before with examples of people who sat at a couple centimeters dilated for days or weeks prior to baby's arrival. There were also several who went from 0-pushing in a few hours.

I originally saw this here and like how it explains dilation numbers:
http://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?p=1875

I'm guessing it's too late to refund the ticket anyway so I'd probably wait and see how things go throughout the week and make your decision on Friday. It may make the wedding day logistics a bit last minute for the bride and groom but they can't be surprised if he has to stay home for baby.

[essnce629]

Another reason I don't allow checks till I'm fully in active labor! You can be 3cm for weeks or be closed tight and go into labor the next day. Being told how dilated you are before labor starts really doesn't tell you anything about when labor will actually start.

Are you having contractions? Did you go into labor early with your DD? If no, then I wouldn't worry about it. I would make sure you have someone to watch DD and call to take you to the hospital if you were to go into labor while he was gone.

[BabbyO]

Well FWIW I was 2-3 cm with DS (my first) for about 10 days before I had him. With DS1 & DS2 I was 1-2 cm dialated and 80-90% effaced for about a week before I had them. I had no contractions With DS1 & DS2, but once I started having contractions it was only 6 hrs from first ctrx to baby.

If it were me I'd tell DH to go...but I have lots of family nearby and have a pretty good handle on when my body is ready. With both my boys I knew I was having a baby the next day the day before I went into labor. My gut just told me so.

[swissair81]

My earliest baby (36+5) was born the same day I was checked and told I was closed tight. The rest of them I was 2-3 cm, 80-90% effaced and engaged for weeks. I do not want to know this time. No checks for me.

[Jacksmommy2b]

I think dilation can be a really lousy indication of labor.

I was a fingertip dilated with DS2 and out he came days later. My BF was at 3 for almost a month. (granted it was her fourth, but baby was still born on her due date.) If your first was born more or less on time, I wouldn't sweat it with a July 1st EDD!

Good Luck!

[Staraglimmer]

Thanks, ladies! I'm mostly worried bc I have to have a c-section. So if I go into labor, straight to the OR, no time for him to come home.


-Stephanie
Mommy to Hailey Michelle 4/08
& a new addition due 7/1/12

[brittone2]

If I was full term I would probably be anxious about DH leaving. DH's grandfather died and the memorial service was on my EDD. I didn't know what to do, but DH wanted to stay with me, and I kind of knew he would because well...it was time. I went into labor the day he would have been away (9+ hr drive). Due July 1? That makes it maybe more reasonable for your DH to go, but I also think if you are really anxious or worried about it, that's legit too.

I was 2-3 cm dilated, 70-80 percent effaced for 3 weeks before going into labor with my oldest. I contracted on and off that whole time too, but my contractions were actually calmed down the week before I went into labor. With my 2nd child I declined cervical checks until I was pressured into one on my EDD...and I was barely dilated, maybe 1 cm if that. I went into labor the next day and my labor was only 3 hours start to finish, so dilation meant nothing in my case. I declined all cervical checks in my third pregnancy and the only one I had at all was when my MW arrived at my house after I called her in active labor. She only checked my cervix that one time the entire labor as well.

I think I lost some mucus plug in advance with DS2, but with DS1 and DD I never had any obvious warning signs of impending labor really-no bloody show til I was in full blown active labor, never saw my mucus plug.

Wishing you the best no matter what you decide. :grouphug:

[Simon]

I would first be clear about my own support and back-up system and how I would feel having the baby without Dh there. Devastated? Sad or Annoyed but okay?

Then I would make sure Dh understands what this means. Make him listen.

Personally, I would let him go but I fall into the camp of sad but okay if Dh isn't there. FWIW, I have a history of premature births and still went 5+ weeks at 3 cm for my third baby who was full term.

[lhafer]

Agree with what everyone else has said. I was 2-3 for weeks before DD1 came, and then had to be induced due to high bloodpressure (but had contractions on the way to the hospital, so it was likely her day anyway).

Same thing with #2.

I would see if he could cut the trip a little shorter though. Maybe leave Friday night and come back saturday night?

[nfowife]

I was 3-4 for a few weeks before DS came. He and DD1 were both post date babies. DD2 I was 2-3 a few weeks before, and went into labor a few days before my due date. So plenty dilated, and never any actual labor until around or after my due date.
I personally would let him go. Do you have a friend you can call to accompany on the small (tiny) chance it does happen? Would you be super upset if it did happen?

[Pear]

The dilation itself wouldn't worry me. Still, you will be 37 weeks when he goes. If the baby comes on the early side are you really ok with him not being there. It was incredibly important for me to have DH at the hospital at all times to serve as DD's advocate since I knew I would be somewhat incapacitated by the c-section. The answer here is extremely personal. So it is just fine to be ok with him missing things too.

[queenmama]

Wondering whether he went...?

I was 3cm and 100% effaced with DS for the last two weeks of pregnancy (full term), so I probably would've told my own DH to go ahead in that situation.

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[Staraglimmer]

He didn't go. He was too afraid to miss it. We decided that if he went, the baby would come for sure. If he stayed, she was sure to stay put. He would not be back yet, so she still has time to prove us wrong. :)


-Stephanie
Mommy to Hailey Michelle 4/08
& a new addition due 7/1/12

[Staraglimmer]

I did tell him to go, but the groom told him to stay.


-Stephanie
Mommy to Hailey Michelle 4/08
& a new addition due 7/1/12