Dual career families - do you designate a lead career?

[theriviera]

This subject has come up recently among my friends and my DH's friends from business school. Once they have kids they find that is difficult to have both careers be the priority so they decide to focus on one as the "lead".

This means different things to different families. I think it's an interesting concept and essentially what we have done. My DH is 7 years older than I am and makes significantly more because he's been at it longer. In general, I am the one to head home early so the nanny can go home, head to doctor's appointments, and, likely, turn down assignments that would require us to move (but would be a big accelerator for my career). It seems though that I am the only person at work (and many have kids) where this is the case. It's more likely that both people are putting equal into their careers (and by equal i mean a lot).

Do you do this? Is it formal or is it just the way that it's worked out? How do you feel about it?

Poll coming.

[Philly Mom]

We have not stated formally whose career comes first but I have a more family friendly office. I am a lawyer and as long as I don't have client meetings I can work from home if needed. DH has turned down good opportunities though so we wouldn't have to move. My practice is not transferable to another location. We both like our jobs and find us both working to be healthy for our family but if I worked for any other law firm I am not sure how it would work.

[weech]

We've never discussed this, but that's mostly because neither of us would take a job that requires us to move -- just a mutual understanding because of family, etc.

DH makes significantly more money than I do (I actually got laid off and am doing contract work right now), so I guess technically his career would come first, but he is more than supportive of me going after my own career goals. Based on our current work situations, DH is actually the one who has a family friendly workplace so he takes DS to the doctor, does daycare drop-off AND pickup every day, etc. Ultimately, I'd say it's pretty equal, though.

[ourbabygirl]

Well, I'm a SAHM, so DH's career definitely takes precedence, though it did before we had kids, and I was teaching.
For instance, I have some former coworker friends who relocated for a year to do a Fulbright teacher exchange... I would've loved that opportunity, but as the wife and the partner who makes significantly less than my husband, I couldn't reasonably ask him to make that sacrifice for me unless he really wanted to (and if his job would allow it, which it wouldn't at the time). Almost all the teachers that I know who did this are men, and I'm not sure if all their wives made less money, but I'm assuming so (one teacher came over from England, but she's single, and another teacher who came here from Chile was single, as well).
It would be hard to have kept teaching since DH travels a bit for work, and with my commute and having to get to school so early, it would've been hard to do daycare drop-offs and everything else while he's gone.
Both of my brothers & their wives are full-time WOHPs and I'm sure this comes up more with them, especially one couple where they both need to travel a fair amount. I'm not sure what they've decided, but I presume my SIL's job gets a lower status even though I think she makes slightly more than my brother.

ETA Sorry, I probably shouldn't have answered this since we are not a dual career family!

[Pyrodjm]

Absolutely, it's DH's job. Once DD1 came my career which had previously been primary became secondary. DH carries our health insurance, his job his VERY stable and it allows him to pick his schedule to some degree. It was truly a blessing that he got it when he did. Although I have the potential to earn more, it was important for us that I be the primary caregiver when the children are young. My profession is VERY flexible and I work part-time and tailor my schedule to the needs of the family. I may decide to go back to teaching full-time in some capacity when my children are older.

[codex57]

Equal. Ended up that way. DW moved for me. However, it kinda was a practical thing. She could get a job anywhere. Perks of an in-demand profession. In high school, she knew what she wanted to become. She wanted high income, yet relatively low stress and little physical activity. Also, strict hours so to maximize work/home balance.

I was stupid and listened to my parents. :) I shoulda switched and done what she did. When we met and started dating, it was slightly late, but still doable. Maybe I would have had to graduate college in 5 years instead of 4, but that's not really a big deal.

Luckily, I'm in a really stable job now too so we can schedule home stuff more easily. But, in my profession, I have to sacrifice salary for that stability. She gets the best of both worlds.

[daniele_ut]

In the early years of our marriage dh was in school and I was working FT, but our intent was always for ds's career to take the lead a few years down the road. We have been married for 12 years and when DS was born in December I became a SAHM and dh's career is officially in the lead now :)

[hillview]

Well DH is by default. I still have a pretty rocking career but when something has to give, 90% of the time it is my job. He gets paid a lot more in base but on total salary it depends -- this year it was "only" 20% more because I got a killer bonus and he got no bonus. I work for a larger company and so if I cannot get to something chances are someone else can vs his company is quite small so that is not the case there.

While I could go get a job that would be more hard core I don't want to. I travel 40% for work which is plenty and work from home so I can be around the kids more when I am not traveling. So I wouldn't change things although there are times I think about it.

[jjjo1112]

My answer is a little different. DH works full-time, makes the most money and therefore overall his job is the priority. The difference is that on the actual days I am scheduled to work, my job is the priorty. If one of the kids are sick or the sitter cancels, he would have to re-arrange his schedule to accomodate that. He works in an office and has some flexibility. I work as a nurse and while I have tons of flexibility to set my schedule, once it is set, it is very hard to change the hours. I try very hard to work days that fit into DH's schedule, but if I'm scheduled to be to work at 3pm, I need to be there at 3pm.

[Liziz]

Well, it's DH's for us. We don't have a choice. He's a physician in the military, and is serving his commitment b/c military paid for college and med school. So, we'd never move for my career b/c DH couldn't move, and we'll definitely move for DH's career b/c we don't have a choice!

We never really discussed it, but I've known since I met DH that he had a big commitment ahead of him, so I knew from the start that I would likely have to make sacrifices for my career b/c of his. That being said....I make more than DH right now.

[cheri]

Ours is weird. Looking at it from the outside, it would make sense that my career be the lead. I'm a physician and my salary is what we live on.

DH has his own business, which doesn't make much money, but he absolutely loves it and he is incredibly good at it. There's potential for his business to grow in the future, and it probably will.

On a day to day basis, I do as much as I can to support him, but if it comes down to both of us being busy at the same time and someone needing to deal with a kid issue, he has to do it.

On the other hand, we live where we live because of what he does. It's the only place in the country (literally) where he can work. We moved away a few years ago, and he flew back quite often. It was such a hassle that we moved back (there were a few other factors that contributed).

I really am not happy at my current job, but in order to change jobs, we will have to move. I'm trying to figure out how to be happy in my job. I don't want DH to have to commute back here again.

Sigh :(

[hellokitty]

I'm a sahm now, but when I was working, DH's career was always the priority. His job pays more than 2x what mine did, so it's not difficult to figure out why his job was the main priority. We always planned for my income to be supplemental (ie: vacation, college, retirement, savings).

[BayGirl2]

I answered mine because that's how I think we planned it. I still make more and am more career oriented. But there are some physical barriers as a mother- I needed to take off more time and my career was more affected by the physical requirements of pregnancy and breast feeding. I've moved to a role with a more family friendly schedule. But DH puts in 50+% around the house and recently switched companies which was a promotion. In reality I think we've both made compromises and distribute things fairly equally.

[ncat]

We try to split the kids stuff equally, BUT, DH makes so much more than I do and has far more advancement opportunity in his job. We would most likely move for his career, while it would be difficult to move us for mine. (Many of my co-workers work remotely, making keeping my job even with a cross-country or transcontinental move for his job a distinct though undesirable possibility.)

We have the same amount of education, but I had more drive and interest, so we initially anticipated that my career would be the lead and DH could work less and do more home and family stuff. I think he wishes that we could swing that, but I have not been successful enough at my career.

[ZeeBaby]

I feel like my career gets the short -end of the stick, but it isn't because of anything DH has said or done. He has a 50 mile commute with tons of traffic. It takes him about 1.5 hrs to get to work. He gets less paid time off, which means I usually take off for the kids, though he will if I cant. I guess it is the give and take of real life. I was also focusing on the kids for the past four years. Now I plan to focus on me.

[twowhat?]

DH's is. He is 10 years older and makes more than I do (despite only having a few years more work experience than me). In fact, the past 5 years we worked at the same company, same industry, same level of experience and he consistently made more than I did, got bigger raises, etc. Yeah, this is totally a male/female discrimination type of thing when it comes to salary but whatever. It's part of why I left that company for a new job that brings me closer to what DH makes and also allows me to work from home - that flexibility makes it better for our family.

We're like OP in that I'm the one who makes sure I'm available for doctor's appts, etc and who would not move the family for a career. I really don't care so much about my career, other than to try to remain IN a career for economy reasons. If they pay me enough and are flexible enough, I'm good. It sounds horrible to say, but I have no career aspirations. I don't want to really become anything - I have no career goals. To me, I simply work to live and so long as the job doesn't interfere with my QOL, then I'm good.

DH on the other hand really thrives if he's in a job that he enjoys. So he's constantly looking to further his career in a direction that will make him happy, and I'm happy to support him in doing that because in the end it will make him a happier person. I'm the total opposite and do very well in separating my work from my personal life - I simply don't let work bother me when I'm not working so I could easily work a job that I don't like if it pays the bills and allows me some adult interaction:).

So because of all that, by default his is the primary career. He also wants to make enough money so that I can find a "career" that I really like even if it pays less, or choose not to work.

[citymama]

He** yeah, it's equal around here.

DH would be in deep doo-doo if he EVER claimed his career took precedence. I would never claim mine took precedence because it doesn't.

(Full disclosure: I work 66% time and he works FT right now, and DH's FT salary is about 25% more than my FT salary. So from a money point of view right now he is bringing home more bacon, but for most of our time together we've earned the same amount, or I've made more. When he went back to school right before we started a family, I was the sole breadwinner for 2 of the 3 years he was at school. Academically, we're on par. By the time DD2 is about 3, I plan to be back at work FT.)

[klwa]

I'll say we're fairly equal. I go in early and pick kids up & DH goes in later and drops kids off. If one is sick, we work out who has the least going on that day, and that's who stays home. For MOST well doctor appointments, I take the kids, because my schedule works better, but DH is taking DS to the dermatologist next week.

[lizzywednesday]

I don't consider my job a "career" despite having 11 years' experience in the company/industry mostly because there's nowhere for me to "go" in terms of advancement opportunities or other vertical moves. (There aren't even lateral moves for me to make in the company, frankly, and I fear for my employment status monthly.)

DH, on the other hand, had a career track in mind that he's shifted to match his skill set.

That said, I've remained consistently and constantly employed through our entire relationship and have the flexibility that I have because of my seniority and experience.

Ultimately, this means I do the following:

(1) telecommute 3 out of 5 days per week (more in cases of family/medical emergencies)
(2) do daycare drop-off & pick-up (even though it's incredibly inconvenient)
(3) do pick up for DD if she's sick at daycare/has an emergency
(4) take days off work if DD is sick
(5) adjust my schedule to do doctor visits (well checks, cardiologist, sick visits, etc.)

At this point, however, despite feeling really resentful about doing all of this right now, I really can't say that it's because my "career" takes a backseat to DH's.

The reality of the situation is DH is the low man on the totem pole at his job (he's been there 4 months) and he doesn't have the same flexibility or PTO as I do, so I'm the one who has to do for DD because he really can't.

[BabbyO]

Well, for us it is my career, but I wish it could be DH's career. I make more and have an hour commute each way, so when it comes to taking off, DH gets the brunt of it. Esp for doctors appts, etc because he works from home and has a fairly flexible schedule.

Unfortunately, I am in a bit of a dead end at my company, so while I make more, I have no where to go and I desperately want to get out of this company, and probably out of this career path. However, our finances won't allow it.

DH's career has taken a turn that has given him more upward mobility, BUT his company is REALLY cheap and the pay isn't the best (it's not the worst, either, but we couldn't live on his salary alone - and even with upward mobility it would take quite a while for him to get where we could live comfortably on one salary).

I do try to adjust my schedule as much as I can and have taken days off for sick DS', but my company is being really cranky about this right now, so it has been tough.

[MamaSnoo]

Both DH and I have demanding professional careers. Still, at the end of the day, his trumps mine. Mostly due to ambition. I have more ambivilence about working (esp FT). Also, if we made a move for our jobs, it would be for him, not for me. I fully anticipate that although we work in related fields, he will acheive a higher status during his career in terms of promotion and salary than I will in mine. Still, DH is quite supportive, and wants me to achieve in my career to the extent that I want this.

In my 20s before I married, I would have found this unacceptable, but now I am actually ok with it. I think I used to be a lot more ambitious, or maybe I had different aspirations then.

[janine]

My DH is also several years older and our jobs are of similar standing, but I make more. Still we split expenses down the middle and I still am the person who takes time off, leaves early etc. for visits to the kids' school and various events. My family takes care of childcare. I also tend to take on the more traditional mom duties (laundry, kids' baths, rallying kids for bed). Geez, reading this over, I"m wondering how ended up with the short end of the stick! DH has it in his mind that I do all of this out of "choice" and therefore I can't complain. But the reality is we'd have to significantly cut back in order to survive on his income and it would impact our quality of life.

Anyway, longwinded way of saying -- no we don't have a lead career. I think if one of us had to quit it'd be me just cause I'm the mom, not because my career is less significant.

[boolady]

Anyway, longwinded way of saying -- no we don't have a lead career. I think if one of us had to quit it'd be me just cause I'm the mom, not because my career is less significant.

:yeahthat:, although, I don't even know if that's possible, because although our salaries are almost equal, I carry our health benefits and contribute less for better benefits than we would have to pay for cr*ppy benefits for more money through his employer. I don't think that financially we could sustain a loss of 1/2 of our income plus the significantly increased cost of decent benefits, but I still think my instinct would be that I would be the one to quit.

No, we don't have one career that takes precedence over the other. We both need to work, and we do it. Neither of us are interested in moving from the area, and I have no intention of taking any more bar exams at my old age, so moving out of a two-state area is largely a no-go. I am the one who takes off when DD is sick or needs someone home, but really only because I can get work done from home that DH cannot and because DH has only been with his present employer for less than a year and doesn't have much time.

ETA: I answered equal, but just because it happened that way. If I could, I would work PT or be home with DD, but it's not in the cards.

[arivecchi]

Equally important by design.

DH works many more hours and earns twice as much as I do, but my job is much more stable, more family-friendly and has great benefits. All of our health benefits are under my company's plan and would cost us much more if DH were to cover them.

In fact, we recently bought a house solely based on my income and credit, so even though DH earns more, my job is the one we count on.

[smiles33]

DH joined his family business, so I knew from the beginning his career would take precedence. We are never going to move for a job for me, no matter how good it was (well, maybe if it were REALLY amazing). That's why we live 3 miles from his office and 15 from mine. I carry all the benefits and make maybe 65-75% of his salary (depends on if he gets a sizeable bonus). Yet I would say we are equal partners at home. He only works 4 days/week so he did many of the well baby visits that day, does grocery shopping and cooks. However he has NO flexibility on his workdays so I cover all sick days/emergencies.

[mytwosons]

She could get a job anywhere. Perks of an in-demand profession. In high school, she knew what she wanted to become. She wanted high income, yet relatively low stress and little physical activity. Also, strict hours so to maximize work/home balance.

I have to ask, what does your wife do? It sounds pretty great....

[twowhat?]

I have to ask, what does your wife do? It sounds pretty great....

Me too! I keep thinking of things like actuary, etc...

[mommylamb]

I would say that at this point, our careers take equal precedence. For a long time, I made significantly more than DH and had a more high powered career, and at that time, my career was the main focus more or less. When we moved to DC, it was because I got a job here and DH was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do at the time, so it made sense to focus on my career.

But DH is now in a higher earning/more demanding in some respects job, and while I still earn more than he does, he has more potential to increase his earnings than I do. I get paid well for what I do, and would need to change jobs for me to see a big increase, which I don't want to do because my job provides me with a good deal of flexibility. Both of our incomes are necessary for our financial well being.

[elephantmeg]

pretty equal here. We're not moving because that was the deal when we married (his family is all local). I've changed my shifts around as the kids have grown but he has been there to pick up the slack (worked 3-11 when they were little so he had them after work (6ish) til bedtime), now I work 12 hour night shifts so he has them after supper til bedtime and then in the morning). I do after school. His job is an 8-5 mon-fri where mine is all over the place. It works!

[smiles33]

I have to ask, what does your wife do? It sounds pretty great....


Me too! I keep thinking of things like actuary, etc...

codex posted on the s/o thread that his DW is a clinical pharmacist. Much better than one who works in a retail pharmacy (at least per my MIL, who was a pharmacist before DH was born and then became a SAHM with him and his younger 2 sisters). Her second career when the youngest was in high school was to become a certified trainer and nutrionist. She's awesome and loves her job. She helps people get healthy, has hours SHE sets (it's hourly pay), and gets to exercise a lot herself. She looks a good 15 years younger than she is!

[AnnieW625]

Another equal career family here, but DH does make more than I do, however in the long run if I had an amazing opportunity at my job he would be there for me to support me and if I wanted to take it I could. Both DH and I work in state government and have flexible jobs. DH is more likely to leave state government employment than me (I have 4 yrs. more time put in so it wouldn't make sense for me to leave), but his preferred employment would be working for one of the utilities.

We never really had the talk, but after we bought our house it was expected that we would both be working. When DH was out of work in 2004 I told him that he could work anywhere in the state of CA where my company had an office and he was fine with that. When one potential opportunity in Oklahoma came about he checked the State of Oklahoma to see if they had opportunities to what I was doing then (which is what I am doing now), but we also realized that if need be we could easily live on his salary while I looked for work. Now if we were to move again it will most likely be for DH's career, but in the long run if we move somewhere (other than back to Nor Cal) with a lower col we have agreed that it would be okay if I worked part time seeing that we'd easily be able to afford a home in most places we are intersted in on one salary, and we'd probably rent for a couple of years to begin with as well.

I think having a good understanding either way (your job is less or yours is more, kwim?) is very important in every relationship.

[cindys]

Well, I am 10yrs older than DH so I have been working longer...

At this point I make more income and I carry benefits...He is a self employed Real Estate Appraiser and is also going to school.

I am hoping at some point I can retire (I have 32 yrs) so that I can stay home and he can be the primary income provider.

Its really worked out great since we have had the little ones..he is home with them during the day (long story but he went to do appraisels for a company so since Jan my Mom has watched the boys but come July he will be working from home again) and just takes them with him if he goes out to appraise.

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...21, 6 & 3 :love-retry::love-retry::love-retry:

[niccig]

DH for now, it will be me later on. DH's work is only here in LA (part of entertainment industry) and I moved here as I had already left my job and was travelling. He earns much more than I did. I stopped work when DS was born, mostly because I didn't like my job enough to juggle work. DH is supporting me being back in school to be a SLP as his work has earlier retirement age. He'll still be able to get work, but not at level he currently does and we'll need me to give benefits etc as he'll probably go freelance.

So, we're taking it in turns. I think while DS is still in school and DH is still working his crazy hours, I'll choose jobs closer to home. Once DS is off to college, then I'll be able to look further afield - this is by my choice that I'll be on family friendly track and the job prospects will allow for it.

[codex57]

I have to ask, what does your wife do? It sounds pretty great....

She's a clinical pharmacist. Didn't want to do retail because she didn't want to stand for 8 hours a day and doesn't like to talk to patients much. :ROTFLMAO: She had to do a residency, but it's only for a year. They just upped her patient load this year, but basically, she has a bunch of patients and a year to go through them and make sure they're on the safest and most efficient set of drugs for their condition. Before this year, she literally spent half the day surfing the web and talking to her coworkers. It's nice cuz if she has appointments or is tired or whatever, she has a year to do her work so she can adjust her workload each day depending on how things are at home or whatever.

[daisysmom]

I think it's an interesting concept and essentially what we have done. ... In general, I am the one to head home early so the nanny can go home, head to doctor's appointments...

This is us, to a T.

We are a year apart in our careers, both lawyers. DH is 5 years older than I am. He works in-house in a company's legal department and has a quasi-business/legal role. He is very busy, travels a ton, works from 7:30 until 6:30 routinely, and feels like it needs to be "the exception" for him to make it home for a sick child or sporting/other event. He also has been the primary caregiver to aging parents for the past year, so has had to take off work (vacation time - probably about 10 days) this year to attend to their matters.

I was a partner at a firm and kept that role for my daughter's first 3 years about. Then I went part time in an "of counsel" role. The switch was 100% due to our feeling like we were constantly struggling about whose job was coming first, who was expected to go home, who had to ask before traveling for work, etc. So we agreed, I took a huge paycut and went to a firm where I work about 30 hours a week. While we might not have used the words "lead career", that's what we agreed to for him.

Now I got a large new client that is requiring some later nights and some travel. We are having a hard time adjusting to this, honestly. He was all for getting the client and job security (in our town, I think I sometimes feel like I have the only husband that wants his wife to work and not quit). But he is having a hard time when I call him at 5:45 and ask him to go meet the nanny b/c I have to work or am on a call. It is NEVER assumed that I won't get home... it never occurs to him to ask me frankly if I am getting home.

It bugs me sometimes (ok a lot of the time). When I ask him to go home early or to a drs appt, he is willing to do it. But it wouldn't occur to him that he needs to go, or that he should ask me to handle it. It is always assumed that I am the first one "on call" for our DD's stuff, and he will go if asked. But honestly, I am just not devoted to work. I am burned out on being a lawyer (18 years from JD graduation). So without the spirit to succeed, I am ok with taking the backseat. It isn't like I really want to work more. I truly want to spend more time with my DD. So honestly, if she is sick, I want to be the one at the drs appt or at home. I want to be the one making the swim team practice. So I guess I am kind of a buddle of contradictions.

[Philly Mom]

We are a year apart in our careers, both lawyers. DH is 5 years older than I am. He works in-house in a company's legal department and has a quasi-business/legal role. He is very busy, travels a ton, works from 7:30 until 6:30 routinely, and feels like it needs to be "the exception" for him to make it home for a sick child or sporting/other event. He also has been the primary caregiver to aging parents for the past year, so has had to take off work (vacation time - probably about 10 days) this year to attend to their matters.

I was a partner at a firm and kept that role for my daughter's first 3 years about. Then I went part time in an "of counsel" role. The switch was 100% due to our feeling like we were constantly struggling about whose job was coming first, who was expected to go home, who had to ask before traveling for work, etc. So we agreed, I took a huge paycut and went to a firm where I work about 30 hours a week. While we might not have used the words "lead career", that's what we agreed to for him.

Now I got a large new client that is requiring some later nights and some travel. We are having a hard time adjusting to this, honestly. He was all for getting the client and job security (in our town, I think I sometimes feel like I have the only husband that wants his wife to work and not quit). But he is having a hard time when I call him at 5:45 and ask him to go meet the nanny b/c I have to work or am on a call. It is NEVER assumed that I won't get home... it never occurs to him to ask me frankly if I am getting home.

It bugs me sometimes (ok a lot of the time). When I ask him to go home early or to a drs appt, he is willing to do it. But it wouldn't occur to him that he needs to go, or that he should ask me to handle it. It is always assumed that I am the first one "on call" for our DD's stuff, and he will go if asked. But honestly, I am just not devoted to work. I am burned out on being a lawyer (18 years from JD graduation). So without the spirit to succeed, I am ok with taking the backseat. It isn't like I really want to work more. I truly want to spend more time with my DD. So honestly, if she is sick, I want to be the one at the drs appt or at home. I want to be the one making the swim team practice. So I guess I am kind of a buddle of contradictions.

I had already answered but you describe something very similar to our family in that I am just assumed to be on call. To a certain extent it is because my DH commutes 1.5 hours each way right now so we don't need to move, but even when he was locally working, I still was the one on call. Like you, I also want to be the one going to the Drs. appointments, so there is an internal conflict. I do want to succeed in my job because as a lawyer I feel like the happiest people with the most flexibility are the ones with clients. It is a hard balance when I am the one on call all the time that could not work if I did not work where I do, which is a wonderful place. My DH does do lots around the house (probably more than 50% of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pet care) but I am the one responsible during the day until 7 each night when he gets home.

[TxCat]

I feel like it's close to equal, but technically my career is the lead, and we both knew that when we decided to get married. I'm a physician, and will have overnight calls in the hospital, or long days, etc., and DH is a professor and has much more flexible hours/schedule, even with a 90-minute commute. So, he usually is the one to get home first to let the nanny go, does the solo parenting if I have to work late or am on call at the hospital, etc., and never complains about it. He's been amazingly supportive. That being said, I'm happy to use a vacation day to cover DH if he has to leave town for a conference, or to arrange coming home early on a day I know DH is working late. However, the biggest challenges we've had are when something comes up (DD is sick, was up all night keeping us up all night, etc.) that would require one of us to stay home from work. DH almost always refuses to do that, and those are the only times where I feel we've sort of clashed over whose job should or needs to take priority at that moment.

[abh5e8]

bananas!!

right now, my career is priority...but as soon as i finish residency, we will likely move based on dh's choice of career/employment opportunity. for us, its really important to have someone home with the kids...so we bend our schedules as much as we can. in the future, when i finish my training, it will be easy to find a job, pretty much anywhere. but for now, i need to finish this program, so its the priority.