Summer survival tactics for those with 3+ kids?

[hellokitty]

It's the 2nd week of summer break and yesterday I was ready to lose it. It's not a matter of not staying busy, we were very busy yesterday. The constant fighting (verbal bickering AND physical) and whining is driving me nuts. Do any of you have survival tips? I had some wine with my dinner that chilled me out a bit after DH got home from work, but this is going to suck if I have to have wine every night...

[pinkmomagain]

Full time day camp for all! Seriously, they all come home content and wiped out. Do you have any of the kids in any type of camp? Sometimes too much togetherness among siblings = headaches, even if you are doing fun things.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I only have 2 but the community pool is a life saver. Kids are happy, have other people to play with, are getting fresh air and I have other people to talk to!

[trales]

Wine every night is a good thing. :jamming: At least for me. Half day camps? Sports, swimming?

[brittone2]

AFternoon quiet time disguised as something fun? Let them set up a tent in their room to read quietly or something?

We HS, so all 3 are home with me FT. I could not survive without our 2 hour afternoon quiet time, especially since I"m an introvert and their non stop chatter, requests, questions, etc. drive me insane without some break during the day ;)

Books on CD, new books to read (we hit the used book store every few months and while my kids already devour books, that really sparks even *more* reading and interest from them), etc. are nice for quiet time. New colored pencils or some non messy art supplies are good too. They might resist but you may be able to figure out a way to make it work. Once in a while my kids grumble about it but they are used to it and I think most days they actually enjoy some space and time away from siblings so they can recharge.

I also find with all 3 home FT, that afternoon break gives the siblings a little space from one another. The youngest still naps during that time.

[sarahsthreads]

Well, we haven't started break yet, and I only have two, but when they are both home it is constant whining and bickering around here lately. I am *really* dreading summer break, and trying to come up with some ideas to keep my sanity.

Part of my summer plan is to have D.E.A.R. time like they do at school: Drop Everything And Read. All electronic devices of any kind get turned off (including for me!) and everyone grabs a book and reads to themselves. (DD2 can't quite read yet, but she can look at books or I will read quietly to her if she'd prefer.) D.E.A.R. time might happen multiple times a day depending on how obnoxious they're being. ;)

I also have lots of ideas for arts & crafts & science experiments, but I'm not planning on having a huge amount of structured activities for the summer. I find that the busier my kids are the whinier they are - they're much better behaved during a day spent mostly at home when we do some projects together and they have lots of free play time than they are running around all day from thing to thing. (Even if they're fun kid things and not boring errands.) That's probably really dependent on kids' personalities and ages, though!

Good luck! My backup plan is wine with dinner, or maybe large quantities of chocolate after the kids are in bed. ;)

Sarah :)

[twowhat?]

It's the 2nd week of summer break and yesterday I was ready to lose it. It's not a matter of not staying busy, we were very busy yesterday. The constant fighting (verbal bickering AND physical) and whining is driving me nuts. Do any of you have survival tips? I had some wine with my dinner that chilled me out a bit after DH got home from work, but this is going to suck if I have to have wine every night...

A glass of wine every night is not a bad thing! I'm ADH deficient and took to drinking beer or wine (whatever we had in the house) after the kids went to bed because I felt like I NEEDED it and didn't care how red and flushed I looked if I was just going to be at home. Lo and behold after a few weeks I realized I must have some level of functioning ADH that was inducible...and worked up to being able to drink a whole beer with only minor flushing. LOLOL.

[maestramommy]

Watching this thread because I'm wondering the same thing!

We have Arwyn and Laurel sign up for one week (actually 4 days) of camp on different weeks. I find that when it's only two they get along much better. My biggest concern is afternoons because Laurel naps only one hour, and she is soooooo unhappy when she wakes up. I am thinking about adding a sitter afternoon to my week. While she seems to be able to handle them fairly well, I'm ready to scream after a whole morning and afternoon with all the bickering and screaming.

[smilequeen]

Lots of camps and lessons. I still have to chase a toddler all the time but it helps. Right now ds1 is in half day hockey camp. Ds2 is taking ice skating lessons. Both are taking swim lessons. That's just this week :)

[m448]

Another homeschooler with them 24/7 who would not survive without quiet time. I'm an extravert and talk through my elbows as my mom says but even I need quiet time. We do a movie or reading or a combo but it happens EVERY DAY. Even DH looks forward to quiet time on the weekends and it it definitely helps with the rhythm of the day. It's usually right after lunch time.

Also, shoo them outside and ignore cries of boredom. I put them out in the AM and then for a while in the afternoon. Plenty of time to work out their squirly energy and get creative in the backyard. However, I will throw in that my kids all exhibit normal periods of transition during the season changes even though they are homeschooled. February is a harrowing month for us all and even though we love the warmer weather we still have hiccups in the transition from spring to summer as well. I say give it time. It may explain why parents are relieved that summer school or camps open when the kids were just hitting their stride.

[hellokitty]

Thanks guys, for the ideas. Yeah, I would have signed them up for swim team, except my older two (8 and almost 7) still don't know how to frickin' swim. This is after hundreds of dollars of swim lessons. So, our goal this summer is to get them swimming with private lessons, it will be 1x a wk in june and 2x a wk in july, for the instructor's schedule. So, that knocks out the pool, since I refuse to take 3 non-indep swimmers to a crazy pool by myself. My kids have been begging me to join the pool, but I told them, that unless they learn how to swim, I can't sign up for a membership. It was not enough motivation for them to learn how to swim, ugh. Plus, my kids are weird. If I take them to the pool with friend, my friends' kids all konk out on the ride home, mine become even more hyped up and drive me more crazy and no, they eat a very clean diet, so it's not like I'm filling them with sugar and red dye.

As for quiet time, my kids suck at this. I have been trying to institute quiet time since they were preschool aged and had given up their naps. Inevitably, quiet time lasts for 15 min and then they come up to me whining that they are bored or want to do XYZ instead (which req ME to help them do it). I get really grouchy with them, barking at them that they have missed the point to quiet time (when DS3 is hopefully napping, when he doesn't nap, it basically throws me in a crappy mood for the rest of the day). They have workbooks to do every day, but I basically have to sit with them to do it, since they always have questions. I occasionally allow up to one hr of nintendo DS time if they have been good, but of course, if they are bad (which is often), they lose that privilege, so that's one less quiet activity for them to do in the afternoon. What pisses me off is that we basically spend all morning out, doing something active, so they get energy out in the morning and we can slow down in the afternoon, but it doesn't seem to work. They have martial arts 2x a wk in the evenings as well, so it's not like they are just sitting in front of the tv all day and they get plenty of outside play time too.

So, how do you get your kids to stick to quiet time? It's such a struggle for me. My kids just do not, "get" quiet time, they are the kind that talk your ear off, and even if you pretend to ignore them, they will still sit there and keep talking. Or else, they get into a fight with one another (they are 18 mo apart) and then I have to get involved, since someone is hurt or crying.

Oh and they are signed up for a few half day camps starting next wk for two wks, but that's about it. The full day camps are so expensive and actually for some dumb reason, all the camps are during june, none in july or aug, so my kids missed two other day camps that coincide with the day camps that I already signed them up for. Really, august is pure hell, I am ready to just give them away to anyone. School needs to start by Aug 1st, or course they are angels at school for their teachers, but I get the dark side.

[brittone2]

So, how do you get your kids to stick to quiet time? It's such a struggle for me. My kids just do not, "get" quiet time, they are the kind that talk your ear off, and even if you pretend to ignore them, they will still sit there and keep talking. Or else, they get into a fight with one another (they are 18 mo apart) and then I have to get involved, since someone is hurt or crying.


We've been doing it for years since DS1 dropped the nap at 3 and DD came along-that way I could nap a bit with her. Then DD stopped napping and we all gave up quiet time for a bit, but she was a grouch and I eventually went back to them having quiet time, and she'd nap half of the time. Now she doesn't nap any longer, and both older kids have quiet time while DS2 naps and I chill out.

They basically don't get to have a fun afternoon unless there is quiet time. But, it is easier because it has been part of DS1's life since the time he was 3, and DD's been doing quiet time sans nap for about 2 years. It is just part of their day now.

[m448]

Yeah it happens or nothing else happens. In fact, when certain people have a hard time sticking to quiet time, momma has been known to extend it and give them a chance to "practice" again. ;)

However, in the beginning when we transitioned from nap to quiet time I drew the shades, turned on some soft music on pandor and pulled out a book. You could try headphones or earplugs and redirection plus some jazzy new reading material for them.

[m448]

Also, my kids love it as movie time as well and that's when I really can nap or get things done. I've pulled from my memory all the old movies I watched as a kid and have been introducing them to those. Netflix and some of the older series are great too (transformers, jem, heman, shera, strawberry shortcake, rainbow brite, etc.)

[brittone2]

Yeah it happens or nothing else happens. In fact, when certain people have a hard time sticking to quiet time, momma has been known to extend it and give them a chance to "practice" again. ;)


Same here!

[acmom]

My DD (she is 3.5) picks a CD to listen to during quiet time - we have several choices that are all just over an hour or so. She has to stay in her room and play (or sleep, read, etc.) until the CD is over. We also rotate what toys/activities are in her room which helps a lot. Her Loving Family dollhouse and all her dolls/clothes are up there which she uses a lot. We also have brought up coloring stuff, stickers, puzzles, cars, magnetic paper dolls, princess dolls, etc. at various times. We also keep her library books in her room so she always has a rotation of new books in addition to the ones on her shelf. If she is having trouble going up to start quiet time, I usually offer that she brings whatever she is playing with her as long as its not a loud toy. She can also take up a water bottle and go to the bathroom whenever she needs to.

[California]

You may still be in the adjustment period that seems to come every summer when the kids need to get used to being out of school.

My kids usually calm down by week three. Thank goodness or I'd be looking into summer school :-)

If my kids tell me they are bored I admit to saying "Great! Here's a broom. If you have nothing else to do sweep the floor!" The first half a dozen times this is followed by whining which I completely ignore. Amazingly my ears stop working. It takes a while, but eventually your kids will learn how to entertain themselves while you take a break. Just keep an eye because they may resourcefully entertain themselves with your makeup, random kitchen mixes, scissors, or any other potentially messy or destructive item in your home!

[KrisM]

Our last day is tomorrow and I'm spending a lot of time trying to plan days and activities, down time, fun things, etc.

A question on quiet time - I tried it with DS1 when he stopped napping at about age 3, but he'd fall asleep, so we gave it up. If he slept even for 20 minutes, he'd be up until midnight. No sleeping gave us a 7pm bedtime. So, I think everyone would stay awake now and I'd like to try it again.

My questions - do you have it at a set time daily? Or, do you plan it depending on the days activities? What about days that you'll be gone for a longer time, like a trip to the zoo (45 min drive for us)?


OP - our gymnastics place has camps all summer and they do them by the half day. I'm hoping to use that at times, just so I can grocery shop with out them at times! DS2 will continue to go to Mother's Morning Out randomly as well. We've only got a couple weeks with longer camps planned and a few weeks total of vacation. It feels like it'll be a long summer!

[brittone2]

Our last day is tomorrow and I'm spending a lot of time trying to plan days and activities, down time, fun things, etc.

A question on quiet time - I tried it with DS1 when he stopped napping at about age 3, but he'd fall asleep, so we gave it up. If he slept even for 20 minutes, he'd be up until midnight. No sleeping gave us a 7pm bedtime. So, I think everyone would stay awake now and I'd like to try it again.

My questions - do you have it at a set time daily? Or, do you plan it depending on the days activities? What about days that you'll be gone for a longer time, like a trip to the zoo (45 min drive for us)?


OP - our gymnastics place has camps all summer and they do them by the half day. I'm hoping to use that at times, just so I can grocery shop with out them at times! DS2 will continue to go to Mother's Morning Out randomly as well. We've only got a couple weeks with longer camps planned and a few weeks total of vacation. It feels like it'll be a long summer!

Our quiet time is 12-2 or if I am running late feeding them lunch, more like 12:30 to 2:30. On days when we are out of the house I try to be back before then, mostly because car naps don't go well for DS2. We have an activity next year 9-1 one day per week, and I am assuming DS2 will nap on the way home and it will just be a short nap that day.

I actually look forward to the day we aren't stuck with naps any longer. I've had 8 continuous years of kids napping! I hope to continue quiet time though, for my own sanity ;) If we had a big trip or something and kids who didn't nap I'd shorten it to an hour, or push it back, or some combo of those if at all possible.

[KrisM]

Our quiet time is 12-2 or if I am running late feeding them lunch, more like 12:30 to 2:30. On days when we are out of the house I try to be back before then, mostly because car naps don't go well for DS2. We have an activity next year 9-1 one day per week, and I am assuming DS2 will nap on the way home and it will just be a short nap that day.

I actually look forward to the day we aren't stuck with naps any longer. I've had 8 continuous years of kids napping! I hope to continue quiet time though, for my own sanity ;) If we had a big trip or something and kids who didn't nap I'd shorten it to an hour, or push it back, or some combo of those if at all possible.

I"m going to give this a try. I am not sure I can follow through on it :). I'm hoping to go to the beach, waterparks, etc this summer and not going until after 2pm, cuts down the play time. Maybe I can just do 1 hour, since no one is actually napping.

[o_mom]

We don't do quiet time, but I do usually end up with 'away time' for a portion of each day. Basically, they have to stay away from each other. :tongue5: We have three floors, so one per floor usually works well. DS1 loves to read, so it's not a big deal for him to go read in his room. I might give one of them computer time or send one outside as well. I try to be proactive with it before they are snipping at each other.

Swim team is a lifesaver here - an hour a day of swimming laps does wonders for the activity level. DS3 doesn't get quite that much because he is still learning, but the cool temps lately mean he is burning a whole lot of energy staying warm. If we every get warm weather again, I'm going to try to get to the pool for a couple hours a few times a week.

[hellokitty]

We don't do quiet time, but I do usually end up with 'away time' for a portion of each day. Basically, they have to stay away from each other. :tongue5: We have three floors, so one per floor usually works well. DS1 loves to read, so it's not a big deal for him to go read in his room. I might give one of them computer time or send one outside as well. I try to be proactive with it before they are snipping at each other.

Swim team is a lifesaver here - an hour a day of swimming laps does wonders for the activity level. DS3 doesn't get quite that much because he is still learning, but the cool temps lately mean he is burning a whole lot of energy staying warm. If we every get warm weather again, I'm going to try to get to the pool for a couple hours a few times a week.

Yeah, I'm crossing my fingers that the swim lessons actually work this time and they can do swim team next yr. I know that it is practically a daily thing and wears them out. I will have to try everyone's ideas of repeating quiet time until it works, although that might be like an episode of that movie groundhog day, lol.

[acmom]

My questions - do you have it at a set time daily? Or, do you plan it depending on the days activities? What about days that you'll be gone for a longer time, like a trip to the zoo (45 min drive for us)?



My DD's "quiet time" starts a little after my DS's nap each day, usually around 1 or 1:30. I find if I do it late in the afternoon, she is more likely to fall asleep which can mess with bedtime. It always lasts for just about an hour (the length of the CDs she listens to). My DS usually naps from 12:30 or 1 to 3ish. So I let her play while I put DS down for his nap and then we usually do a short activity just the 2 of us (game, puzzle, craft - something that is hard for me to do with a 2 year old running around!). Then we head up for "quiet time". We read 3 books of her choice, she chooses her CD to listen to and I leave.

The exceptions to "quiet time" are if we have a big family outing like the zoo or we have visitors. Then her quiet time might be shorter or later in the day (whenever we get home). If the grandparents are here, I usually only have her rest for 30 minutes or so, or I go get her when they arrive.

[nfowife]

-We are doing swim lessons twice a week through a program called swimamerica. It's a national program and uses a punch card system so you just buy a certain number of lessons and can go whenever. If I feel like we need to go more, we will. However these are quite painful to sit through with my toddler stuck in the stroller.
-both kids are going to a full-day camp for a week next week. I didn't do more than that because it is expensive. If they LOVE it I might consider adding a 2nd week later in the summer. might. but probably not due to the expense.
-DD is doing an art class the week after that each afternoon 4-5:30. I almost signed DS up for a concurrent class but he is not into art at all so I decided it would be a waste of $$ so I said forget it. Not sure what we are going to do each day for 1.5 hours since it's too far to come all the way home. We'll see.
-In mid-July DD is doing a pioneer days school camp for 3 days. DS was too young.
-I also joined a pool (haven't been yet because of timing and crappy weather but plan to go next week). Got it on a groupon so it was super cheap.
-we have zoo and science museum memberships and they are both 10 minutes away from home.
-local farmer's market twice a week- it's fun to go and get italian ices. Then we can go to the playground nearby. It's pretty freaking hot here though.

The 17 month-old takes a 2.5 hour nap every day so we are home for that every day. My kids do play very well together but they still bicker and fight and get way loud. This weekend I bought them both basketballs (DS is playing through the Y this summer). I also got them each a nicer watergun and they go outside with a big bowl/bucket of water (so no coming in for refills) and play for like an hour. We also do in your own room quiet time (playing or reading) each day. I honestly don't care if they just stare at the walls, I need a break each day!

We go somewhere in the mornings 95% of the time. It's too hard to stay home all day. I do stuff with friends, swim lessons, moms club activities, something. Cannot sit home all morning.

If we have no plans and I can't think of something, I will go work out at the Y and put them in the kid's club. They have fun and are entertained, and I get some "me" time. Even if I've already worked out that morning (I do a bootcamp class) I'll walk on the treadmill and watch TV!

I would encourage you to also do some group lessons for swimming if you have cheap ones at the Y or something. The more they swim, the faster they will get it. Once a week is nowhere near enough practice if you really want to get them swimming.

[jjjo1112]

My kids are all close in age, so the bickering is insane :)
To deal with it over the summer- we have fun trips planned every week. They are usually better when we are out and the trips are also incentives to behave. I booked every pass my local library had in order to keep down the costs- we have the aquarium, science museum, children's museum, discovery museum, zoo, etc.
We also have quiet time every day. My kids all take naps until they enter kindergarden- if they don't sleep they are still expected to stay in bed quietly. My DS that is finishing kindergarden and does not nap is expected to pick a quiet activity such as reading, coloring, puzzles, etc and if he can not play independently and quietly then he is reminded that he can nap instead.
With a newborn, we are home more than usual so when the bickering gets intense- I give them a task to do together. Water and brushes to paint designs on the back deck, cardboard boxes to make into homes for their stuffed animals, blankets/pillows to make a big fort, all different blocks to make cities, etc. This will usually work.
If fun things don't work, I will send have them each pick an activity to do in their rooms so that they have some time apart.
If all else fails, I make them do chores- cleaning, dusting, putting laundry away, matching up all the shoes, emptying the car out, etc.
For my sanity, I make sure to get out by myself usually once a week.