Natural Childbirth advice?

[ExcitedMamma]

With DS I read all the books about labor and went from wanting an immediate epidural to wanting a natural childbirth. I prepared with HypnoBabies which was really great. Using the methods and staying in the tub I was great at home and when DH insisted it was time to go the hospital. Checking in nurse did not think I was very far along because I was so calm until she checked me and I was at about 5 cms dilated I think. Did great until they wanted a blood draw so my first question is do you need a blood draw during labor?

I have a really bad experience with all my blood tests and have been told I have small veins. No matter how much I drink beforehand and how many layers I'm wearing to be warm they always end up sticking both arms multiple times and often exceed their allowed amount of jabs and call in other people to try. I'm always told they're the best and sdo experienced but they have no luck. During the labor two people tried separately and my DH refers to it as playing pool with my veins it was so bad. I had a really hard time getting my focus back after that.

Had really bad back labor. What can be done about that? Unfortunately DH was awful at listening to me and rubbing my back so I'm not sure I can count on him to be much help.

I had read that your body produces natural pain killers to help you through the pain but I never felt any relief and really felt the pain. Less so when I was able to focus more on the hypno techniques but it was pain for me. Is that normal? Is there really a natural pain relief component that kicks in?

I completely lost focus during transition and asked for drugs. I had gone over all of this with DH beforehand but he was no help at this point and didn't try to talk me out of it or help me focus and went off to order me an epidural. I've talked to him about what I want from him this time around but I'm skeptical he'll be better. Any advice for transition?

DS was a big baby and I had an episiotomy when his heart starting doing decels, still not sure if it was needed and angry that I was forced to push too soon and for three hours (I said I only wanted to push when I felt ready but they said no no he's right there). So I have no idea what to expect if I can make it to the pushing stage without any medication. Is it totally doable if you've made it that far? Any advice?

Sorry this turned out so long! Want to start listening to HypnoBabies soon and I want to banish my fears and doubts after how it went last time because I really want an unmedicated labor this time. Also I know Doulas are great but I'm a really private introverted person, even more so in labor, so for me I really want self-help type of advice to get through it. Thank you!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Blood- I had a hospital birth and a birth center birth. Had the blood draw at the hospital; not a single needle stick at the birth center. It is probably just standard and I bet if you talk to your care provider, they may let you skip it. They may be able to use results from earlier in the pregnancy instead. It's certainly worth asking. I didn't want an IV or hep lock at the hospital and I just got my CNM to override the standard orders, simply by asking. You never know.

Back labor is usually caused by a malpositioned baby. 1. find out baby's current position. 2. stay off the couch and other schlumpy positions; get a birth ball and sit on that instead. 3. Lean forward, do cat stretches and other things that help get/ keep baby in a great position. 4. read this helpful article- it has things to do before and during labor http://motherspirit.net/articles/pregnancy/preventpost.htm 5. don't have your water broken, if possible, in labor till things are really well established and baby is in a good position (break the water and baby can come down and get wedged in a crappy position).

If you don't want a doula then you need to get dh to step up his game. :) You need your back rubbed then, by gosh, that is his job! Have him read "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin. It's easy to read and really full of helpful ideas. But, really, I'd give up modesty in favor of awesome support. Really think about a doula and maybe meet with a few?

Transition is rough but so often it is fast! With ds1 I think it lasted longer but with ds2 it was just 10-15 minutes (at most). I didn't ask for meds but I did declare I couldn't do it. When it gets that bad, it's almost done. Good support will get you through. Again, a doula?

Do you have the same care providers? Did they give you the option to rest instead of push? Or help the perineum like with warm compresses and counter support? I get that there is a time and place for episiotomies but big babies generally aren't one (decels could be). I hate pushing but both times I only had about 20 minutes of work. The crowning...no matter how uncomfortable it is you need to stop pushing, take slow deep breaths and let the skin stretch.

Prenatal yoga was my favorite thing when preparing with ds2. I really got the whole deep breathing and learned to relax my face (starting to feel tense, scared, in pain? take a second and relax your jaw-- it really helps!!). See if you can find any classes.

[jennilynn]

I have two top pieces of advice: get a doula and start doing prenatal yoga. With both of my pregnancies, I skipped the childbirth/Lamaze, etc., classes and just did prenatal yoga. Twice a week. It really helps your body prepare for labor physically and gives you coping techniques like breathing, relaxation, etc. Find a class if you can because bonding with the other preggos is a huge motivator to go. And yes, get a doula. If money is tight, most will work with you on a payment scale or refer you to a doula in training who may do the work for free. I can't imagine going to a hospital without one (I had both of my babies at home though) and if you have one, you can let your husband off the hook a little for being your advocate. I wanted (and got) two completely natural childbirth experiences - no drugs, no episiotomies (no tearing either.) But they were at home with a midwife. There was some pain but the shower was my happy place. I took lots of showers both times :)

[brittone2]

I found these things helpful:
-Hypnobirthing and Hynobabies
-had a doula. Didn't need her for 95% of my labor but she was great when I needed her! (transition)
-found a caregiver and setting that worked for me. When pg with DS1 my doula gently and in a PC way clued me in that the hospital I was planning on using was intervention happy. No eating and drinking in labor, IV hep lock at minimum, etc. wheras a hospital further away was more progressive. I ended up switching to a midwife and drove 40+ mins to a hospital so I didn't have to fight some of those silly battles. That hospital was also okay with laboring in their big jacuzzi tub, although didn't allow water birth. Had to have EFM strips but doula advocated for me to be hooked up so I could be on the ball, hands and knees, etc. The only time I was really uncomfy for most of labor was when I was stuck in bed.
With my 2nd birth I was living in a different state and had a CNM attended birth at a FSBC, and it was a great experience. Had a HB with a CNM for my third. Nice to not have to fight about things that were not evidence based. WIth the last two I also had periodic doppler checks but no EFM, which I was thrilled about after knowing the data about routine EFM.

-walking, walking, walking and moving in labor. Swaying, hands and knees, sitting on the ball, tailor sitting, etc.

-Getting into a "zone" mentally. It reminded me each time of how I felt when I was a competitive runner. I like to be by myself, focused in my zone...my labor place :) Hypnosis helped with this IMO.

-Penny Simkin mentioned above was one of the people who got me interested in natural childbirth to begin with. Since she's a PT, I looked at her info, and many of the standard practices like pushing on your back (or close to it) never made sense to me from an anatomical perspective. I thought maybe I'd get an epidural but wanted to do whatever I could to help my pelvis open, etc. and started reading Penny Simkin's stuff.

-if you are concerned with position issues, look into spinning babies and not slouching, etc. in the 2nd half of your pregnancy. My first midwives didn't really suggest anything proactively, but my doula did...very late in the game. I think DS1 was posterior for a while but I didn't end up with back labor in active labor. With my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies my MWs handed out info on things you could do proactively to encourage a good position in baby.

-I never had bloodwork during labor, even with my hospital birth. I was GBS neg. for all 3 pregnancies. I had an uncomplicated history other than issues getting pg due to PCOS.

-transition for me with DS1 was more classic. Shaky legs, and I had a lot of rectal pressure that was uncomfortable. My water broke at the onset of labor with him, which may have played a part. Transition with DD and DS2 was very different, and I felt much more in control and it was just much, much different and easier. In fact, I could only identify transition after the fact after DD's birth (made sense looking back) and with DS2's birth, transition was very manageable. I just felt a little grunty. Kinda like, well, I kind of feel like he's coming but I'm not feeling an intense urge to push. Maybe a little warm. Otherwise, nothing crazy, no feeling out of control.

-With DS1 I asked for no coached pushing and got it anyway. It is my one big complaint from that labor and delivery. Not a big deal, but I think I would have felt better without it. My MW laughed when she saw it in my birth plan and was like "you'll want coaching." Legs were pulled back by the nurse, etc. When pg with DD I told the mws I was seeing (diff. practice) that I disliked my previous experience, that I was open to a little coaching to avoid tearing but mostly wanted to follow my urge. It was so. much. better. Less soreness and swelling, no tearing vs. a small tear with DS1, she just slid out so easily. The mws let me follow my urge with a few small "blow, blow" type of comments that I had okayed. With DS2, I didn't push until I couldn't *not* push. Felt a little grunty for a while, and then two big pushes and he was out. No tearing, no swelling, never needed a peri bottle even. That was also a waterbirth, but I think with my 2nd and 3rd deliveries, following my own urge to push was very, very helpful. Not everyone's thing but it really was much better for me than coached pushing with my legs back. Oh, and with DD I was 10 cm dilated and fully effaced for an hour without any urge to push because my membranes were intact. Didn't have AROM, didn't want it, waited it out and eventually the urge kicked in. If I had been forced to start pushing when I showed up, I might have been pushing for a while...who knows. I waited until I was ready, and it took 2 pushes. Same with DS2, except in that case it was in the water. (eta: with my first, I had coached pushing and they told me to start pushing when they checked me and I was "complete." It was still only 20 mins, but it was still much easier when I followed my urge. Even with only 20 mins of pushing, my legs felt like I ran a marathon the next day, I had way more swelling down below, etc. I had a much easier experience and easier recovery with shorter pushing time and following my own urges with DD and DS2)

Yes, I had an endorphin thing kick in during and after, kind of reminded me of a runner's high when you are in the zone.

Best of luck!

[roseyloxs]

I second the doula. I relate a lot to you and your post. My first labor ended up as an induction after a stress test at 1 week overdue. Everything went smoothly but pitocin and an epidural were involved. For my second labor I used hypnobabies and made it all the way to 8cm and then hit a wall. I lost my concentration (broke the rules and asked how far along I was) and started picturing my first painless birth. I agree while I was calm and coping my birth was never painless. I told my dh I wanted an epidural and he says, "whatever you want baby". He is awesome but that was so not the support I was looking for at that moment.

This time around I am getting a doula so I know I'll have the support to help me when I hit that wall again. I am also a very private person and never let anyone else into my hospital room. No friends, no family. Just me, dh, and whatever nurse is attending to me (no students either). I think I need that support and I really want to experience natural birth so I think its worth it.

Also second the yoga. I am sure it helps in the end but it just plain makes me feel better during the pregnancy. Along with the hypnobabies cds it keeps me very calm. I like to think this contributes to my having calm and quiet babies as well (although I didn't do yoga or hypnobabies with the first so I guess that theory is out).

[nfowife]

I had a really rough labor and delivery with my first. Very long, drawn out, interventions galore (epidural, episiotomy, vacuum). It was such a hard recovery, and I had really wanted to go natural (did the Bradley class prior).

With DS (#2) I wanted to try again but didn't put the same pressure on myself since it didn't work out with #1. My main plan of action was I switched to a midwife (hospital based) and I tried to stay home as long as possible. I got to the hospital less than an hour before DS was born- no IV as there was no time!

Used the same midwife for #3, planned to go natural again since it was so easy with DS, and got to the hospital 2 hours before she arrived. I did have a hep lock this time, at the midwife's request in case pitocin was needed post-delivery for bleeding, and was fine with that. It's only one time and then there is access if needed. I would have stayed home a bit longer but jumped the gun so I was at the hospital a bit longer than I preferred.
With both #2 and #3 I had no episiotomy or stitches. Recovery was so easy. I wanted to run a race within 30 minutes I had so much energy!!

Hopefully your 2nd will go much easier than your first- it very likely will. And since you know more of what to expect you won't be as nervous. Stay home as long as you can!!

Best of luck!

[hoodlims]

I had natural childbirth for both of my two large babies. What helped me was the option to change positions and labor in different places. Dh is a great birth partner, and I had the same L&D nurse both times who should be a doula. Will you have access to a bath or shower? A toilet? I enjoyed both for a 20-30min period of time, then liked the fact that I could get out and change it up.

Hopefully this labor will go faster. My 1st was 6 hours with 2 of pushing, my second was about 3 hrs with 30min (maybe less) of pushing. Pushing was much better the 2nd time around because I did it facing the back of the bed in a kneeling position, holding onto the head of the bed.

Good luck! I think a lot of it is mental (I wanted the epidural with the 2nd even though it was so much faster, simply because I was tired), so think positive thoughts!

[Pyrodjm]

You definitely need a doula. Her job will be to give you what you need, rubbing, water, help staying focused during transition, etc. Husbands can sometimes react in unexpected ways to seeing their wives in pain. If he can't give you all of the support you need, a doula will take some of the pressure off of him. I birth at home so I can't help with your other questions. I hope things go the way you hope this time around.

[essnce629]

You need a doula! Interview several, tell them your concerns, and see which ones mesh with your personality. A doula can be there and stay out of your way if you're coping fine if that's what you want and can just step in when things get tough. She's there to cater to you!

Have you read "Back Labor No More" and learned about the belly lift? The book was part of the HypnoBabies class I thought. Belly lifts are great for turning a posterior baby, reducing the pain of back labor, and just speeding up a slowed down labor. A doula can really help with back labor by performing double hip squeezes and belly lifts during contractions. A doula will also work with your husband and show him what to do so you can all 3 work together as a team. Doulas are used to being at super long labors without needing to take a break. DH's are great, but sometimes they just get too tired and need a break. The birth process can be very overwhelming and anxious for them and a doula actually helps take some of the pressure off of them "to perform." If you really want to help DH be more prepared and involved then I'd highly recommend taking the Bradley Childbirth class series with him. They really help to educate the father and help ease some of the unknown. It's a 12 week series so DH's learn a ton of info and hands on techniques.

[Tondi G]

I had natural drug free births ... I didn't have a blood draw during labor. With DS1 I had a hep lock and it was unnecessary and actually started backing up while I was pushing (almost made my sister pass out! LOL) ... left me with a very sore and bruised hand for over a week! With DS2 I decided I would just agree to an IV and again ... it was pretty unnecessary. I also for some reason have difficult veins and the nurse screwed up trying to put my IV in.... she was trying to give me some numbing stuff in my arm before they placed the iv and shot it into my vein.... which made me feel like I was going to pass out, my heart rate and my DS's heart rate both dropped and my DH said he heard whispers of do we need to call the doctor to do a C-section between the nurses trying to fix what she had done. My husband turned to them and said if you were the cause of my wife needing an unnecessary C-section there is gonna be hell to pay!!! Lucky for that nurse both DS and I came out of it and all was well.... went on to have a quick drug free delivery. If we decided to go for a #3 at some point I would talk to my OB about leaving the IV and heplock out of the equation.

As far as pain goes .... I don't know how people can go through it and say it wasn't painful ... it was painful for me, both times. We went to Bradley Method classes and they were very informative and helpful (I think it was really helpful for my husband). I've heard great things about Hypnobabies.

with #1 I got in the shower/tub and it was helpful but then I was nearing transition and felt like I needed to lay down and was sweating and felt like I was going to throw up.... moved to the toilet and rode out a contraction and then into the bed to push. With #2 I didn't have time to get into the shower in L&D .... I was already at 6cm when we arrived at the hospital. I did try pushing on my side with one leg up but I didn't feel right for me.

Ooooh and I had an episiotomy with both deliveries ... I have this odd band that just doesn't want to stretch. My OB tried massaging etc both times but it just didn't help. With DS1 he had the cord around his neck so each time I stopped pushing he would get pulled back in. When she went to do the episiotomy I felt ALL OF IT. I yelped in the delivery room! With DS2 he was fully crowning, I had the "ring of fire" going on that we learned about in my Bradley course and she did the episiotomy and I didn't feel a thing. His head really was putting so much pressure on the area that I didn't feel her cut.

I was lucky that I have small babies ... 6 lbs 10 oz and 7 lbs 5 oz.

I agree with the others that if you can find a way to get more comfortable with the idea of a Doula and find one you click with .... DO IT! It will take a lot of pressure off your husband and it will help you tremendously! GOOD LUCK!

[BabyBearsMom]

Yoga! I labored at home until the last minute (maybe a little too close to the last minute) and used yoga to manage my pain. DD2 turned the day before I went into labor so I had back labor. I spent a lot if time on all fours doing cow-cats. This kept baby off my spine and she actually turned over again during labor. I did a lot of focused breathing and hip roles that the instructor taught us. The pain was so bearable (and it was agony with DD1) I didn't think it was time to go to the hospital until I hit transition. I got to the hospital 10cm and it was all I could do to hold off pushing until my midwife got in the room. Plus yoga strengthens key muscles for the birth (I did tons of kegals) so I pushed her out in 3 pushes. Go to a class rather than a video if you can.

[mctlaw]

Definitely rethink your initial reaction to not get a doula. I couldn't have done it without mine. You can find one who has the personality you need (hands off when she needs to be). The typical husband just does not have the proper tools to get a woman through a natural birth, unless she is one of the ones lucky enough to not experience significant pain in childbirth. I did do the Hypnobabies program, which to me had useful coping tools, but active labor/transition was difficult; I will leave it at that.

Oh, and I did have my blood drawn when I got to the hospital but refused the hep lock-so glad I did.

[mmommy]

I reiterate the suggestions for a doula and prenatal yoga. My DH is no help during labor. He folds within himself when he is stressed out, which at least doesn't add to the chaos, but it isn't the support I need. My doula was priceless during the final stages of delivery (and she just finished her training, so she didn't actually charge us much!)

[Katigre]

With DS I read all the books about labor and went from wanting an immediate epidural to wanting a natural childbirth. I prepared with HypnoBabies which was really great. Using the methods and staying in the tub I was great at home and when DH insisted it was time to go the hospital. Checking in nurse did not think I was very far along because I was so calm until she checked me and I was at about 5 cms dilated I think. Did great until they wanted a blood draw so my first question is do you need a blood draw during labor?
I have never had a blood draw during labor. I have had an IV - is that what they were doing? You could put it in your birth plan NO IV but honestly a better bet is a non-hospital birth setting like home or birth center where it is more normal to not have one.


Had really bad back labor. What can be done about that? Unfortunately DH was awful at listening to me and rubbing my back so I'm not sure I can count on him to be much help.
That means the baby was malpositioned, most likely posterior. Did you do work on positioning the baby prior to labor and during labor? I would recommend www.spinningbabies.com as that has many helpful techniques. I have dealt with malpositioned babies and their suggestions (especially the 'abdominal lift and tuck' technique) transformed my labor from dysfunctional to active and pushing within two hours.


I had read that your body produces natural pain killers to help you through the pain but I never felt any relief and really felt the pain. Less so when I was able to focus more on the hypno techniques but it was pain for me. Is that normal? Is there really a natural pain relief component that kicks in?
Generally speaking I believe that the endorphin high post-birth is what helps with pain relief, but in the moment of labor doing whatever you can for comfort and support will relieve things to an extent (i.e., I found contractions where no one was touching me 10x more painful than ones where DH or my doula were rubbing my back/shoulders).


I completely lost focus during transition and asked for drugs. I had gone over all of this with DH beforehand but he was no help at this point and didn't try to talk me out of it or help me focus and went off to order me an epidural. I've talked to him about what I want from him this time around but I'm skeptical he'll be better. Any advice for transition?
Get a doula, make sure you know that it's transition so you know you're almost done - both of those things help a lot.


DS was a big baby and I had an episiotomy when his heart starting doing decels, still not sure if it was needed and angry that I was forced to push too soon and for three hours (I said I only wanted to push when I felt ready but they said no no he's right there). So I have no idea what to expect if I can make it to the pushing stage without any medication. Is it totally doable if you've made it that far? Any advice?
Your pushing stage also points to malpositioned baby as baby's position is FAR more important than baby's size. Were you in different positions or sitting on the bed only? The episiotomy is also something that's hard to tell about in hindsight. If your labor had been managed differently it's very possible that it would not have been that way. That said, yes pushing unmedicated is very possible and for most women is far easier and shorter than transition which you experienced.


Sorry this turned out so long! Want to start listening to HypnoBabies soon and I want to banish my fears and doubts after how it went last time because I really want an unmedicated labor this time. Also I know Doulas are great but I'm a really private introverted person, even more so in labor, so for me I really want self-help type of advice to get through it. Thank you!
Even though you are private during labor, the right doula can help create an environment where you can retreat inside yoruself and she's just the 'gatekeeper' for others - the places where your DH wasn't an advocate she can be.

(Note: I used hypnobabies with my last pregnancy too and am using it again with this one)

[misshollygolightly]

I don't recall having a blood draw with either of my two hospital births, though I did get a heplock so maybe they did them at the same time or something? Anyway, I have nothing to add to others' advice about natural childbirth, but I did want to chime in and empathize with you over the "small veins" = every attempt to draw blood turns into a crazy stab fest. As it turns out, I've been diagnosed with Raynaud's (a circulatory issue, where your veins become spastic) and that, I think, may explain at least part of my problem...and it might be something to ask your doctor about if some of the symptoms sound familiar to you as well. Anyway, more importantly, I've found (after years of being repeatedly stabbed by frustrated medical professionals who can't find my veins!) that it sometimes helps to request they use a "butterfly needle". It's a special kind of needle that works better for "rolling" or "thin" veins (like yours and mine). Sometimes it takes longer to actually collect the blood using the butterfly needle than a regular one, but at least people seem to be able to get it to work on me with the first or second try!

At any rate, good wishes for a smooth, easy delivery!

[Jupiter]

What is a doula and what do thy do? What does your husband o if you have a doula?

[brittone2]

What is a doula and what do thy do? What does your husband o if you have a doula?
They are trained professional labor support.

I had a doula for my first birth. I was managing fine on my own, and because we had discussed it prior to my birth, she pretty much stayed out of my way. I was happy in "labor land" and like concentrating on my own thoughts in labor. She made sure I stayed hydrated, but otherwise she stayed pretty much out of the picture (at my request based on meeting prenatally). In transition she was worth her weight in gold! I was hot, so she got me ice in a latex glove to put on my head to cool down. My legs were shaky, and she knew just how to touch them to calm them down. DH was definitely my primary support system, and I didn't need my doula for 90 percent of my labor, but she was *well* worth the money for the 10 percent of the time I did need her. My doula also came over for a few visits while I was pg; she had lots of books, tools like birthing balls, etc. that she could lend me if I wanted or needed them. She also offered to let me labor at her house since her house was midway between my home and the hospital I was delivering at, as the hospital was a 40 min drive and I was a touch anxious about that.

A doula can be very involved if your Dh isn't sure what to do, or isn't great at actual labor support. They can fade into the background a bit if you prefer that, and just be there if you need them. Different doulas have different styles, and you can talk to them about your wishes in advance. eta: they might also do things like physically hold you up so you can squat during the pushing phase if you want that, while your DH gives you emotional support and encouragement. They might suggest ways your DH can support you-encourage you to "slow dance" and sway your hips to help baby descend, or suggest maybe trying other positions. DH can still be your primary support if you want that and it is fitting your needs, but the doula can give tips, etc....or fade away into the background until you need her. They use tools like aromatherapy, massage, hip squeezes, may suggest positions to try to help make labor more comfortable or help baby descend, etc. You can discuss in advance with them what techniques you are open to, or anything you are strongly opposed to.

They can also support your DH if he's taking on more of a support role...reminding him to make sure you are hydrated or whatever, or making sure *he* is taken care of (may go to the cafe to get him food if he's getting hungry or something like that).

CHeck out the DONA website for some additional doula info.

Some doulas also specialize in postpartum care-light housekeeping, meal prep. help with BFing or other children, caring for baby so you can nap, etc.

[Pyrodjm]

What is a doula and what do thy do? What does your husband o if you have a doula?

A doula is a labor support person. She is usually very experienced at caring for women in labor. Most know a lot about massage, labor positions, stages of labor, etc. They will do hot/cold compresses and keep you fed and hydrated too. In hospitals, I hear that they can help advocated for you to staff.

If DH is on his game the doula will suggest things for HIM to do with you.Mine told DH where to rub my back during my first labor, SO HELPFUL. Doulas will take care of both parents, she'll fetch him a drink while he supports you in some labor position. If he is the type of guy that can't support you while you are in pain, faints at the sight of blood for instance, she makes sure that you have all of the support you need. Mine was great and took some pictures once it became clear DH had me under control.

Some doulas also have training to help new moms with bfing.

[California]

It's your body- you have the right to say no to blood draws, a heprin lock or IV during your normal, natural labor. It may throw the nurses for a loop at first. They are used to their routine. But they aren't the ones having the baby! I refused after the nurse missed on the first try. It made me feel more in control, and that helped me mentally to stay "in the zone" focused on my labor.

[karstmama]

you've done the best thing for an easier labor - you've already had a baby! second labors are usually *much* easier and faster, so if you did that well the first time i'd lay money on the rest of your labors being much closer to what you say you want.

best of luck, and i'd second (3rd, 4th, 5th...) the doula. ;)

[OKKiddo]

Blood- I had a hospital birth and a birth center birth. Had the blood draw at the hospital; not a single needle stick at the birth center. It is probably just standard and I bet if you talk to your care provider, they may let you skip it. They may be able to use results from earlier in the pregnancy instead. It's certainly worth asking. I didn't want an IV or hep lock at the hospital and I just got my CNM to override the standard orders, simply by asking. You never know.

Back labor is usually caused by a malpositioned baby. 1. find out baby's current position. 2. stay off the couch and other schlumpy positions; get a birth ball and sit on that instead. 3. Lean forward, do cat stretches and other things that help get/ keep baby in a great position. 4. read this helpful article- it has things to do before and during labor http://motherspirit.net/articles/pregnancy/preventpost.htm 5. don't have your water broken, if possible, in labor till things are really well established and baby is in a good position (break the water and baby can come down and get wedged in a crappy position).

If you don't want a doula then you need to get dh to step up his game. :) You need your back rubbed then, by gosh, that is his job! Have him read "The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin. It's easy to read and really full of helpful ideas. But, really, I'd give up modesty in favor of awesome support. Really think about a doula and maybe meet with a few?

Transition is rough but so often it is fast! With ds1 I think it lasted longer but with ds2 it was just 10-15 minutes (at most). I didn't ask for meds but I did declare I couldn't do it. When it gets that bad, it's almost done. Good support will get you through. Again, a doula?

Do you have the same care providers? Did they give you the option to rest instead of push? Or help the perineum like with warm compresses and counter support? I get that there is a time and place for episiotomies but big babies generally aren't one (decels could be). I hate pushing but both times I only had about 20 minutes of work. The crowning...no matter how uncomfortable it is you need to stop pushing, take slow deep breaths and let the skin stretch.

Prenatal yoga was my favorite thing when preparing with ds2. I really got the whole deep breathing and learned to relax my face (starting to feel tense, scared, in pain? take a second and relax your jaw-- it really helps!!). See if you can find any classes.

Exactly what SnuggleBuggles said! With the doula, interview several and let them know you're an introvert (my hubby is and I totally get it), or consider having a good friend/family member that you feel comfortable with and you know will advocate for you or will understand and listen to your needs. With my first son we had a family friend who wanted to be a doula and she rocked! My husband was afraid because he didn't know what to do so she told him and he rocked! With my second son he totally dropped the ball so when it came time for my daughter and I hated all of my OB's and switched to a CNM for a homebirth he knew he was going to have to be on his game. The CNM also had a doula who was also in midwifery school who came along to help both of us. BEST. BIRTH. EVER. 100% drug free, 97% pain free (only the ring of fire part and it was like a bad intestinal flu I swear), and so peaceful and not at all feeling like an emergency. Also, no blood draws, and I was up walking the neighborhood with the CNM and Doula up until the last 30 mins of labor (as per my request because I was afraid I'd stall out in my labor if I stayed in the tub--which was heaven!).

Remember it's your body and you're birth and you need those around you who will help you obtain a good and safe birth experience! Good luck and happy birthing! <3

[OKKiddo]

I have never had a blood draw during labor. I have had an IV - is that what they were doing? You could put it in your birth plan NO IV but honestly a better bet is a non-hospital birth setting like home or birth center where it is more normal to not have one.


That means the baby was malpositioned, most likely posterior. Did you do work on positioning the baby prior to labor and during labor? I would recommend www.spinningbabies.com as that has many helpful techniques. I have dealt with malpositioned babies and their suggestions (especially the 'abdominal lift and tuck' technique) transformed my labor from dysfunctional to active and pushing within two hours.


Generally speaking I believe that the endorphin high post-birth is what helps with pain relief, but in the moment of labor doing whatever you can for comfort and support will relieve things to an extent (i.e., I found contractions where no one was touching me 10x more painful than ones where DH or my doula were rubbing my back/shoulders).


Get a doula, make sure you know that it's transition so you know you're almost done - both of those things help a lot.


Your pushing stage also points to malpositioned baby as baby's position is FAR more important than baby's size. Were you in different positions or sitting on the bed only? The episiotomy is also something that's hard to tell about in hindsight. If your labor had been managed differently it's very possible that it would not have been that way. That said, yes pushing unmedicated is very possible and for most women is far easier and shorter than transition which you experienced.


Even though you are private during labor, the right doula can help create an environment where you can retreat inside yoruself and she's just the 'gatekeeper' for others - the places where your DH wasn't an advocate she can be.

(Note: I used hypnobabies with my last pregnancy too and am using it again with this one)

And what she said too! :) Definitely someone who understands where to put their hands for counter pressure on your hips (that really did make the pain go way down for me--that and during contractions the midwife had me on a tens unit).