CA Moms w/kids in Public School...

[ha98ed14]

If your DC have thrived/ done well/ had positive experiences in our larger-than-the-national-average class sizes, to what do you owe this success?

How much do you think personality/ temperament influence DCs' experiences? What are DCs' personality traits that have helped them be successful (or not)?

[codex57]

Both DW and I were products of public schools.

I attribute it to a combo of parental involvement, good peers, caring teachers.

And by parental involvement, I mean that even if the teacher doesn't have too much time to teach cuz of class sizes, you make it up at home. Particularly at the younger years. Teach em at home. Use workbooks. Send them to tutoring. Whatever.

Granted DW had none of that, so hers was largely self directed study at home. That would be temperament, but that is pretty rare. If your kid doesn't have that self drive, that means you have to do a lot to make up for it (and help nurture a self drive because eventually, you're not gonna be able to teach them stuff and they're gonna have to learn on their own).

[wencit]

If your kid doesn't have that self drive, that means you have to do a lot to make up for it (and help nurture a self drive because eventually, you're not gonna be able to teach them stuff and they're gonna have to learn on their own).Interesting. How do you nurture a self drive? This is what I'm struggling with as a parent, because DS1 would rather play than sit and do worksheets (which is what his teacher seems to give him a lot of). He's still young, so I can push him a little bit, but I don't want to turn into a Tiger Mom. I would love to hear your thoughts.

[maestramommy]

My siblings and I are product of both Chicago and CA public schools. From and early age our class sizes were bigger than normal.

In Chicago my parents were lucky to have knowledgeable neighbors with kids, and they were proactive in signing us up for magnet programs for K-8 or k-6. Then we found out about which were the good HS to get into and applied to those.

For California they unfortunately moved us to a TERRIBLE school district, mainly because the housing was so $$$ it was all they could afford. They did find out about magnet programs for HS but didn't push as hard to get us in. I was already in college and one younger sister was a senior in HS, so we were not affected. My other sister and lil bro were much more seriously affect, esp. my bro, who was only in 6th grade when we moved to CA. But that was a bad combo of not just school, but less parental involvement. We know families in parts of SoCal and live in pretty sucky districts, but they are ON IT for magnet schools close to their area and that is where they focus their energies. They also have a touch of Tiger Mom (just a touch;)), so they don't stand for half-assed efforts from their kids.

[sariana]

Quite honestly, I was devastated that class sizes shot up when my son started first grade. He was transitioning from special ed to regular ed, and more than most students, he would have benefitted from the 20:1 or even 24:1. But that was not to be.

What has helped him to be successful? His IEP. He has "as needed" support from RSP, so he can get out of the "crowded" classroom and go to the RSP room to do his work if needed. Last year (1st grade) he needed it almost daily. This year he goes on average about once a week.

Children with attention difficulties really struggle in larger classes, and there seem to be more and more children with these difficulties.

One thing I do to help with the situation is to volunteer in the classroom. This year I work with a small reading group while the teacher works with the other students. Other parents help in other ways. Having another adult in the room can make a big difference, even if all s/he does is walk the room reminding students to stay on task.

As for nurturing self drive, you really can't. That's why it's called "self" drive. Some people (my DH) have it; others (me) don't. But you can encourage self discipline and reward hard work (effort if not necessarily results, depending on your child).

I don't like to make my DS do worksheets. He actually doesn't mind most of the time (he loves to read and likes school), but in his case the kick in the pants he needs is to get outside and be more active. Every child is different.

I am so not a Tiger mom. I figure childhood is the time to be a kid. As long as DS (and eventually DD) is making progress and generally doing what (s)he is supposed to do, I am okay with that.

[Dcclerk]

My DH and I were products, and now our kids go to CA public schools. I think there are a few keys:

1) Temperament. My DS hates the feeling of anything last minute. It is wildly uncomfortable for him, and it stresses him out. Therefore, he takes care of his homework as soon as he gets home, so it won't hang over his head. His long-term projects are usually completed within a week or two of the assignment, so that he knows it is done. This is just the type of kid he is, but we certainly do what we can to encourage him to follow his routines, make sure he isn't rushing, etc. He is never going to be lost in the crowd, and so we don't need to do much to help him other than encourage him.

My DD, on the other hand, would prefer to play puppy/vet/anything else, and really doesn't particularly care if she turns in homework or not. For her, having a good relationship with her teacher has been key. He has her in front of the class, so she can't wander too much off course. He will put her on "homework watch" if it becomes too stressful for me to keep pushing her, etc. He is a great ally. At home, we try to be very consistent regarding her routine, so it is expected she will have to do the same thing every time, so don't bother trying to get around the homework now. I have learned the hard way that I also need to have her go through more show-me steps than I originally thought. For example, she now has to show me she did the work in her green folder, her blue folder, and that there is nothing extra that fell out in her backpack or got stuck in her desk. We have to tailor the oversight with her much more.

2) Parental involvement. Even though we work, we try to be a known commodity at the school. There is a reason that the squeaky wheel gets the attention. I try to be very positive and complimentary, but they also know that I will keep coming back to an issue that I think is important. I am my kids' advocates, which means that I am known by the teachers, principal, school secretary, etc.

3) Incorporate learning in the day-to-day. I try to make passing the the time, a mental stimulation, rather than an annoyance. If we are waiting in line, we are trying to find an item in the store with each letter of the alphabet. At the farmer's market, they are expected to pay and calculate the change. They think of these things as fun and some responsibility. They are, but they are also incredible hands-on experiences of the concepts young elementary school kids are learning.

[codex57]

Interesting. How do you nurture a self drive? This is what I'm struggling with as a parent, because DS1 would rather play than sit and do worksheets (which is what his teacher seems to give him a lot of). He's still young, so I can push him a little bit, but I don't want to turn into a Tiger Mom. I would love to hear your thoughts.

I'm struggling with that myself. My parents, unfortunately, did a terrible job in that regards. DW and I understand this, so we're looking into her past to figure out how she got it.

[maestramommy]

Interesting. How do you nurture a self drive? This is what I'm struggling with as a parent, because DS1 would rather play than sit and do worksheets (which is what his teacher seems to give him a lot of). He's still young, so I can push him a little bit, but I don't want to turn into a Tiger Mom. I would love to hear your thoughts.


This one I think is really tough. We have started with not so much schoolwork, since this year Dora didn't get much. But with jobs in the house. Dora and Arwyn have to make their bed every morning. Every evening someone has to help me walk Shep, feed him, and put him in his crate. They have to hang up their backpack and put away their shoes after school. They have to put their dishes in the sink after eating. Almost without exception they have do to these things, even when they would rather not, would rather play, would rather do a bunch of things other than their jobs. But they must do them, or else they don't get to do what they want, or don't get what they want to have. And believe me, I hear plenty of complaining. Even Dora, who didn't mind her homework at first, got sick of it by 2nd semester because it was so boring (yeah we got worksheets too). I was sympathetic, but she still had to do it first thing in the morning (she goes to pm K), or she couldn't play. I *think* this is where it starts. Training your kid to understand there will always be things they aren't jazzed about doing that they MUST do. For now we set the consequences, in the future they will face external consequences (bad grade for unfinished work). I don't want them to be surprised when the external consequences start kicking in.

Of course, this is just the beginning. Dh is always telling the girls that to learn something you have to work hard. That includes ballet, which is their current craze. It's kind of fuzzy sometimes but he keeps saying it, and hopefully one day the meaning will kick in.

[crl]

Well, ds just finished second grade. I am not all that impressed with his school, though it is considered one of the best public schools in San Francisco. We have pushed the school to provide accommodations and extra help to him (he has ADHD and struggled this year with reading and math) with mixed success.

We also try to supplement ourselves and have hired a tutor for twice weekly sessions this summer. I suspect we will regularly have to supplement his academics in ways like this. I find that frustrating in large part because I believe strongly that play is an important component of childhood (for developmental reasons as well as for the sheer fun of it) and I resent that we have to eat into his play time this way. I am also not excited about spending the extra money, but whatever.

As far as installing work ethic, I don't think that is particularly the school's job or particularly related to the sad state of CA's schools. We try, who knows if we will succeed?

Catherine

Catherine

[deborah_r]

DS1 just finished 3rd grade today. He's still at the after-school program end-of-year party right now. When he started Kinder in 2008, the class was 19 students. I think first grade was 25 and now we are firmly in the 30 camp. I noticed in the yearbook, 5th grade had something like 35-40 kids!

We selected our school through open enrollment and were lucky to get in. It's not the "it" school of the moment in the district, but it's solid, one of the higher API's in the district, had a National Blue Ribbon Award a few years ago. But for the most part, our district is considered to be pretty bad, so I don't know how good even the best school in the district really is.

He has been quite successful so far; I think DS1's success so far is due to his temperament. He likes to learn, he wants to do well, he doesn't get in trouble. He is far from perfectly behaved outside of school, but in school he is totally different.

DS2 has a pretty different personality, so I'm a little worried about how he will do. He's not quite as focused, and he is more social that DS1. At preschool, he doesn't get bad reports or anything, but the teacher did tell me he is chatty with certain friends when he is supposed to be listening. He doesn't know his letters and numbers like DS1 did, and mostly only cares about action figures! Comparitively, DS1 was begging us to teach him about negative numbers before Kinder. So we'll see if it is the school or the kid!

[missliss55]

Both DH and I are products of CA public schools. The public schools in our district are good. When we first started public school with DD#1 there were 20 kids in a classroom (all part of the classroom reduction for K-3rd grade). We were able to maintain 20 kids in a class up until this past year, 3rd grade. This year DD#1 (3rd grade) and DD#2 (1st grade) each had 28 kids in their classes. The district was able to eliminate & consolidate some administrative positions this year and next year we will go down to 24 kids. DD#1 will be in 4th grade so classroom reduction will end for her so she will have 30 kids in a class this fall, and she will be in the GATE cluster class.

We have had amazing teachers & wonderful parent support. My kids are thriving and doing really well. Even with the larger classes this past year the teachers have found ways to inspire and challenge my kids. There definitely was a big difference this year in going from 20 kids to 28. The teachers did their best but I know at times it was difficult. They are all thrilled to be going down to 24 kids.

DD#1 is a really motivated kid. I don't even have to talk with her about homework or projects. She knows what she needs to do and is really a self starter. DD#2 is similar but is a little less of a self starter. I have to mention homework but she has no problem doing it. Both have easy personalities and don't have a hard time focusing in class. They both do mention periodically that they can get bored sometimes in class because they pick up on concepts easily. I am hoping the GATE class for DD#1 helps in that area.

[dhano923]

My kids go to a public School that became charter as of this school year. Their class sizes are 22:1, down from 24:1 last year. We love this school, even before it became charter because it has a great reputation for having good, long term teachers and involved parents. We have a good principal too. Becoming charter made it even better, because they have more money and were able to add back classes like art and music and drama/theatre. It's really going to defend on your school district and the school leadership and parent involvement.