s/o yet another wedding gifts thread

[brgnmom]

If you can't attend a wedding, do you still purchase a gift for your friend?

I have a childhood friend who is getting married soon, and the situation is a bit complicated b/c we didn't receive a wedding invitation. She said that she mailed Dh and me an invitation, but it most likely got lost in transit with the post office during our move. Our friend said she would email us an invitation b/c she understandably doesn't have any more original invitations. It's been a week and we haven't gotten an email yet and her wedding is coming up in a matter of weeks. I don't have any of her registry information and feel awkward just sending her a card/check in the mail since we're not that close. We can't physically attend the wedding, so I thought it would be nice to at least send a gift. Just wondering what other BBBers do when they can't attend a wedding... do you still send a gift via snail mail? TIA.

eta, in the past, I did send a card & check for my childhood bff when I couldn't attend her wedding, but she and I were super close growing up and Dh and I were invited well in advance.

[klwa]

If it's a friend I love & care about, yes, I send a gift. If it's a friend who I USED to be friends with but don't really think about except at Christmas time when I'm sending cards out, well, even then I might, but I'd be less likely to.

[TxCat]

If I receive an invitation, or if it's a good friend but I wasn't invited because they're keeping it small, etc., yes, I send a gift. Usually I check registries at all the usual suspects: Crate and Barrel, Bed Bath and Beyond, Amazon, Target, Williams-Sonoma, Macy's, Pottery Barn. Usually one of those comes up with a registry.

[cuca_]

If I receive an invitation, or if it's a good friend but I wasn't invited because they're keeping it small, etc., yes, I send a gift. Usually I check registries at all the usual suspects: Crate and Barrel, Bed Bath and Beyond, Amazon, Target, Williams-Sonoma, Macy's, Pottery Barn. Usually one of those comes up with a registry.

:yeahthat:

You can also check weddingchannel.com for the registry -- it includes registries from a bunch of stores.

[brgnmom]

Hi Ladies,

Thanks so much for your advice, klwa, Txcat and cuca. Txcat & cuca, thank you for reminding me about online registries! I checked and my friend has only registered for a small number of items at target.com so far. I feel awkward sending a gift card to target (although I have done this for bdays before, it just feels a bit casual to me for a wedding).

Any additional advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you again.

[AnnieW625]

A registry is just a suggestion. I would send something as well, as to what I am not sure, but a nice platter or hor d'oeuvre plates or wine glasses would be a nice gift. I would try somewhere like Williams Sonoma or Crate & Barrel, which should have a store where your friend lives.

[MMMommy]

I always send a gift for wedding invites, whether I attend or not. In this situation, I think a Target gift card is fine, since she is registered there.

[brgnmom]

thank you, Annie & MMMommy for the additional advice! I'll look into Williams Sonoma and Crate & Barrel, and then consider sending a gift card if Dh and I can't decide on a particular gift from the other stores. I wish my friend registered at some other stores - I could tell from the limited registry selection at Target that it may just be her fiance's choices (primarily electronic items, including a razor which I'd feel awkward purchasing as a wedding gift).

[roseyloxs]

I always send gifts if I receive an invite. I tend to send even nicer ones since I saved a lot of money by not attending the wedding but we have only missed weddings for good friends and family.

[brgnmom]

Thanks again, everyone. Well I haven't actually received the emailed invitation or the actual invitation (I'll take the higher road & hope that it's because of some mailing error and my former HS friend has just been really busy b/c of the wedding planning), but I did just hear back from another mutual friend that my engaged friend would prefer a check versus a registry gift. Just thought I'd write an update. Thanks.

[MMMommy]

Her wanting a check does simplify things. You can send a check with a card and know she safely received it after it is cashed. Hopefully you will get a paper invite soon so as to avoid confusion.