lalasmama
06-13-2012, 12:28 AM
Quick back story... DD's legally a foster child. One of her birth parents has FINALLY agreed to full adoption (OMG, I NEVER thought she would agree to it!), but her birth father (who also happens to be my brother) refuses. He's seen DD 4 times in the last 4 years--all 4 of those times in the last 4 months. Point being: there's not a deep bond there right now while they are "re-meeting" one another. DD goes to a friend's house for the summer while I'm at work. It's a SAHM who is FANTASTIC. Seriously, she deals well with DD, and doesn't flinch at keeping her own kids in line at the same time. Her hubby works nights, so he's there (though, sleeping) most of the time DD is there. He's a FANTASTIC dad. Seriously awesome. And he treats DD like one of his own, from the typical loving teasing, asking her about things, getting her to help with "dad" things (hooking up the tv/dvd player, etc), and otherwise, just engaging her. I've known the family for 5 years now, but it's just recently we've started spending much more time together.
We were eating dinner tonight, parents in the living room, kids in the dining room, and started talking about funny kid comments. We were laughing about the first time the kids each used a "real" bad word. Somehow the conversation came around to DD, and the Mom says that DD said something so sad yesterday, she wasn't sure how to respond.
DD told one of her sons, "I'm going to make up a new daddy, because I don't like my daddy."
Part of me wanted to cry that she thinks that. But I TOTALLY understand it, especially now that she's experiencing the involved dad that our friends have. And, like most single moms, it had/has me worried that I can't be everything to her--I can't be her daddy, nor can I make her father the kind of daddy she sees every day at our friends' house.
Just a rough night having to face that, as a single mom, I like to believe I'm a good mommy and a good daddy, but DD wants to make up a daddy because she realizes other kids have something she doesn't have, and it's something a whole lot bigger than her pretending her etch-a-sketch is a much-desired Nintendo DS.
We were eating dinner tonight, parents in the living room, kids in the dining room, and started talking about funny kid comments. We were laughing about the first time the kids each used a "real" bad word. Somehow the conversation came around to DD, and the Mom says that DD said something so sad yesterday, she wasn't sure how to respond.
DD told one of her sons, "I'm going to make up a new daddy, because I don't like my daddy."
Part of me wanted to cry that she thinks that. But I TOTALLY understand it, especially now that she's experiencing the involved dad that our friends have. And, like most single moms, it had/has me worried that I can't be everything to her--I can't be her daddy, nor can I make her father the kind of daddy she sees every day at our friends' house.
Just a rough night having to face that, as a single mom, I like to believe I'm a good mommy and a good daddy, but DD wants to make up a daddy because she realizes other kids have something she doesn't have, and it's something a whole lot bigger than her pretending her etch-a-sketch is a much-desired Nintendo DS.