Did /would you be ok with DH taking a trip when you are 7mos preggo?

[janine]

I'm not pregnant but this topic came up at work. Coworker (guy) is golfing on the other side of the country and his wife is home pregnant (7mo's along). Co workers are saying this is very inconsiderate, how coud he. Meanwhile my DH did go on a guys trip to LA (I am on the Eastcoast) when I was that far along. I wasn't thrilled, but would never think to tell him not to. I figure with no complications it's not like I was about to give birth. Am I too easy on him or are my co-workers too uptight?

[boolady]

Do they have other kids?

[janine]

Do they have other kids?

No, they do not (first child)

[JBaxter]

Considering my husband traveled for work ... No problems at all I think he went to Europe when I was 8 months

[boolady]

I personally would have been fine with it if everything was proceeding normally.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Sure, no problem at all!

[rin]

I wouldn't bat an eye at that, unless there's more to the story (she's on bedrest, chances of preterm labor, they have at least one other child who's difficult for her to handle alone at this point, etc). I would figure, hey, this'll be the best time for him to take a trip like that for quite some time, if she wants she can always do a similar trip for herself when the timing seems right.

ETA: I'm also coming from the perspective of someone whose husband has to travel for work, so two weeks ago (I was 8 months pregnant) he was gone for a week for work. He doesn't have any more work trips planned before I deliver, but he'll have to leave town again for a week or so when this baby's 6 weeks-ish, and we also have a just-turned-2-year old. Many families deal with travel!

[janine]

Ok..I was beginning to think I was a total doormat. Female coworker (no kids ) said this was a horrible thing to do. Male co-worker (with kids) said he'd never do that to his wife. They were surprised when I chimed in and said mine had gone to LA at same point in pregnancy. And it wasn't for work - wanted to have guy's trip before the baby.

[Binkandabee]

Honestly, it wouldn't even phase me one bit. It would never even dawn on me that it might be inconsiderate!

[kijip]

In most circumstances, yes. Certainly for business, family and some pre-baby fun if the pregnancy is uncomplicated.

If she was really high risk, optional trips (as opposed to work or a family funeral) would seem strange to me.

If he was gone every week for something optional and fun and not paying attention to her much during her pregnancy, well that's just bad form.

[longtallsally05]

I figure with no complications it's not like I was about to give birth. Am I too easy on him or are my co-workers too uptight?

They're too uptight. If they have no other children and the wife isn't sick, then this is the time to take those big trips (before becoming a parent)! There will never be a better time than now, IMO.

[momm]

meh. I would be fine. In fact he has, and is, taking trips during my pregnancies.

How long is this trip? That might a slight difference?

[longtallsally05]

Full disclosure: I have a different perspective on travelling & pregnancy than many people. When I was 7 months pregnant with DD, I went on a trip to Thailand. I'm glad I did; I'd never have the chance to ride an elephant now (I mean, what would I do with my baby?). I also took a long international flight at 32 weeks pregnant with DS#1. It was a squeaker (had some problems on the flight), but it all turned out okay. Carpe diem!

[Momit]

DH travels a lot for work. He did his best to arrange his schedule to be home for 1 month before and 2 months after delivery, and stuck to that except for one trip he couldn't get out of.

[edurnemk]

Well, considering DH has been away for my entire pregnancy (only flies home for some weekends)... work related, not a guys trip though. I'll be 37 weeks in 2 days and DH is in Chile, but wrapping up the project this week.

If the wife is OK with it, and has someone she can call in case of any complication, I don't see a problem. I think it's better he go now than after the baby is born. As long as this isn't a regular occurrence, I see no problem with him taking one golfing trip.

[brittone2]

Yes, as long as things were progressing normally and I didn't have a history of complications or PTL.

DH was job hunting out of state quite a bit when he wrapped up grad school, and I was 30-35 weeks pregnant when he was doing the bulk of his interviewing. It was fine. I think he took his last interview trip when I was about 36w.

[Kindra178]

DH went to brother's bach party when I was 36 weeks pregnant with DS1 (5 hour drive away) and went to other brother's bach party when I was 24 weeks pregnant with DS2 and DS3 (went to Vegas and I was in Chicago). I can't say I was jumping for joy each time he left but was generally fine with it, and happy he had the opportunity to do so.

[TwinFoxes]

Even though my water broke at 26 weeks, I think travel for a DH at 7 months is fine. I also think your co-workers need something better to do with their time. :tongue5:

[wellyes]

7 months, wouldn't hesitate to let him go.
DH stopped going away overnight when I had maybe 6 weeks to go.

[kep]

I wouldn't bat an eye at that, unless there's more to the story (she's on bedrest, chances of preterm labor, they have at least one other child who's difficult for her to handle alone at this point, etc). I would figure, hey, this'll be the best time for him to take a trip like that for quite some time, if she wants she can always do a similar trip for herself when the timing seems right.

ETA: I'm also coming from the perspective of someone whose husband has to travel for work, so two weeks ago (I was 8 months pregnant) he was gone for a week for work. He doesn't have any more work trips planned before I deliver, but he'll have to leave town again for a week or so when this baby's 6 weeks-ish, and we also have a just-turned-2-year old. Many families deal with travel!

Pretty much exactly this, word for word, esepcially the ETA. I did veto the last minute trip at 38.5 weeks though. I thought that might have been pushing things a bit. Ha! Oh, and add three older sibs to the mix.

[janine]

Even though my water broke at 26 weeks, I think travel for a DH at 7 months is fine. I also think your co-workers need something better to do with their time. :tongue5:

LOL, I think you're right. They were gossiping in hushed tones and I kind of inserted myself into the convo saying my DH did the same thing it's fine..7mnths is not that close unless there's complications. Their response did make me doubt myself a bit though (like OH maybe it's me) so thanks everyone for giving me a sanity check.

[janine]

Full disclosure: I have a different perspective on travelling & pregnancy than many people. When I was 7 months pregnant with DD, I went on a trip to Thailand. I'm glad I did; I'd never have the chance to ride an elephant now (I mean, what would I do with my baby?). I also took a long international flight at 32 weeks pregnant with DS#1. It was a squeaker (had some problems on the flight), but it all turned out okay. Carpe diem!

Wow, you rock (riding elephants in Thailand at 7 mo's)!

[swissair81]

My husband was traveling for work with #2 & 3. I think he was actually gone in my 8th month- 32-33ish weeks. And for one of them he was out of town again 2 weeks postpartum (and I was making passover). It was okay. I'm 7 months now. If my DH needed to leave town for something, I would be okay with it.

[nfowife]

I would have no problem with that. Maybe I'd be more upset it if was at 39 weeks. But 7 months? No worries.

[smilequeen]

My husband travels for work all the time, so yeah...no biggie. At 7 months I felt perfectly safe with him being gone but I have had only uncomplicated pregnancies (except for developing mild pre-e with #3 at 38 weeks). Heck, my husband had tickets to the superbowl the weekend before DS3 was due...and then he ended up coming a week early b/c of the pre-e and I told him to still go. He did bring back some nice gifts.

[american_mama]

My DH went to Australia when I was 7 mos. pregnant, so I voted no big deal. I think it vaguely crossed my mind "what if the baby comes early," but there was no reason to think he would. And the opportunity to go to Australia was pretty special, so there was no reason to say no.

DH bought me back a very stylish maternity shirt as a gift. I thought that was very endearing.

[HannaAddict]

I would not be thrilled. I can't imagine my husband doing that whether I said something or not. He traveled for work, but that is work not just fun time.

[daisysmom]

My husband traveled for work the week before I had DD (I had her at 37 weeks) and 2 weeks after he was also gone for 10 days on a trip. It was just what his job required, and we had no other children at home. I would have been seriously bummed if I had gone into labor and he had missed it all, but I don't think that my fear of that could rationally be used as a valid excuse for him not to go. I think he also went to a bachelor party or some other day trip thing the week before she was born. Things like that don't really phase me - I knew that our lives would change dramatically once she was born so I was all for him having fun (and letting me sit around and do nothing) before she came.

I have a guy working for me now who is traveling to Houston for a deal for this whole week...and his wife is 36 weeks with their 3rd child. I did ask him if he wanted to travel and I would have figured out a way to restaff the trip if he had declined, but he was up for it.

[BayGirl2]

We did it, I have no issue with it. In fact I think DH tried to get in more travel at 7 months or earlier so he could be home for the last month and when the baby was born. Mostly it was work, but I would apply the same policy to personal trips.

Seriously, if its their first child they should be savoring every last moment of their child-free life while they can. Its just never the same again.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

if they have no other children (this is their first child), then i don't see the issue. DH had to travel for work when i was 7mos pregnant, both times. when i was 8mos preg with DS he flew his mom over to stay with me, bc i had no other family or friends that could have helped me if i went into labor.

with DD, DH considered going out of town at 8mos preggo, then decided not to at the last minute..good thing bc DD was born that week!

i think it's a totally different scenario if the mama has other kids to take care of. when i was 7mos preg with DD, i had to take care of an active 13month old as well (DS), i had no family in town to help me...so i would not have been happy if DH decided to take a golfing trip then.

[citymama]

Business trip - yes, as long as it wasn't too long.
Pleasure trip - hell, no. Either we do the trip together or I get the R&R while he watches the kids!

[dec756]

heck yea..let him go!!!!! he will come home if anything happesn

[ourbabygirl]

Yeah! DH took a business trip to South America for 2 weeks when I had DD (almost 2) and had about a month until DS' due date. Luckily everything was fine (although DS did come 10 days early) , but another guy on his trip had to come home early, as his wife went into labor when he was gone.

[123LuckyMom]

This is really one of those things that's up to the couple. If the wife is fine with her husband traveling, everyone else should butt out! ;)

My DH and I don't really do separate vacations, but there have been trips he wanted to take to visit family that I really didn't care to join him on, and he went by himself. Pregnant or not, it's what that particular couple finds works best for them.

[belovedgandp]

DH did travel while I was pregnant (all three of them). Especially for a first, no big deal, I just had to take care of myself. With all of them, I'd much rather he travel (for fun or business) while I was still pregnant than after.

He had to leave when my third was 10 days old and that was the worst timing ever.

[4stheCharm]

i think people stress too much.

If you hav ea ton of issues, use common sense.


If its your 4th kid and you never went without being induced... I would have no issues doing a 4-6 hours drive solo with my other kids (LOL oh yeah, i did do that)

I flew at 34 weeks pregnant too.. LOL