MIL and my cooking

[niccig]

aMy MIL finds garlic spicy and won't eat any food that is another culture (eg no mexican, no stir fries) and she won't eat many vegetables, though I have converted her to how I make brussel sprouts and cauliflower. Chilli is out because she won't eat the beans, just the meat, ummm, I make vegie chilli. We're not vegetarian but we do eat many meatless meals. She's coming for TWO weeks. What am I going to cook?

I mentioned something about needing to shop for food that MIL will eat and DS said "she gets what she gets and she can't get upset." Tonight we have quinoa tofu stir fry. Umm, yes but she will never in a million years eat quinoa or tofu. I can't make food that I know a guest will not eat, but do I have to change what I cook for two weeks, no quinoa for two whole weeks???

Any suggestions.

[eagle]

when my mil was here for a month, i sucked it up and planned meals around her likes. it was a lot of work. i wasnt trying to kiss ass or anything but she was going to be here a month and i needed to make it work.

if you are going with the attitude that "I can't make food that I know a guest will not eat", then i think theres really no way around it. you have to plan. does your family eat leftovers? then you only need to plan for 7-8 days, bc the other half you eat leftovers. if you dont eat leftovers, then you will have to plan for the full two weeks. no tofu. no quinoa. you surely must know a couple non-ethnic dishes.

casseroles? mac and cheese? sloppy joes? spaghetti and meatballs? salads?

theres bagels, toast and beans. lots of fruit. roast chicken. bbq/slow cooker pulled pork. paprika chicken. chicken soup. pierogies. pizza. pot roast. pork chops. schnitzel. quiche.

those are my list of bland (to me), relatively non-ethnic foods which do not require garlic.

when my mil was here, i was forced to cook nothing but korean for a month. it took a lot of preparing. i was cooking side dishes the week before she came and every night i made a new side dish to keep up. and i really only know how to cook like 6 korean dishes. so i stretched myself and learned a couple more. she still made comments about my cooking but i let it roll off my back. she was fed. her bowls of rice came back empty and food was disappearing. so i was happy enough.

good luck! id love to hear what you end up cooking!

[niccig]

you surely must know a couple non-ethnic dishes.

casseroles? mac and cheese? sloppy joes? spaghetti and meatballs? salads?

theres bagels, toast and beans. lots of fruit. roast chicken. bbq/slow cooker pulled pork. paprika chicken. chicken soup. pierogies. pizza. pot roast. pork chops. schnitzel. quiche.

those are my list of bland (to me), relatively non-ethnic foods which do not require garlic.

when my mil was here, i was forced to cook nothing but korean for a month.

You had it worse than I do. I do have a few recipes and some crockpot meals, but I'll have to not do the South West or curry version that I really like. It just gets so boring to me. DH is getting a grill for Father's Day, so might make that part of the meals on weekends, he can grill things. We'll also eat out a few times.

I'll use some things on your list - but I've never made sloppy joes or pierogies - I didn't grow up here in the US.

[geochick]

If it were my mil, I'd send her an email asking for a list of groceries she'd like me to get for her.

Explain that you eat different foods, and you'd like her to have something she enjoys in your refrigerator.

[Momit]

Entree salads with grilled fish or chicken
Pot roast in the crock pot
Tri tip on the grill
Pork chops
Rotisserie chicken from the grocery store
Savory crepes
Ham

Good luck! We've had some guests who are pickier eaters than our 3-year-old and it's not easy.

[wellyes]

Quinoa tofu stir fry, yum, can I come eat at your house?

For two weeks, I'd suck it up and make boring meals for a guest most of the time. Two weeks is nothing. Beef/chicken, starch, vegetable (which she can ignore). If you get really fed up, give her the toddler treatment for one meal a week....she gets a little serving of a plain, pre-spice version of what you guys are having.

[DietCokeLover]

Oh goodness, how frustrating.

I'd do grilled chicken salads one night, pasta (fettucine Alfredo maybe), lasagna, sub sandwiches, breakfast (pancakes, bacon/ sausage), grilled cheese and soup, etc....

[niccig]

I'll suck it up and make things I know she'll eat. She's not adventurous at all, but when we visit her she's had mango and avocado for DS and I saying "I'm not sure if I chose ripe ones." She knows we don't eat the same, and I'll get my quinoa fix when we eat out.

The house is trashed so I don't have time to plan before she comes tomorrow night as I need to clean, but we'll eat out Sat. night and Sunday DH can use his new grill, so that gives me the weekend to look up some recipes and grocery shop.

Please keep the suggestions coming, it'll help me out to have a list of things as possible meals. I'll also have to juggle to see if DS will eat them, Mr Picky gourmet eater himself likes his tofu and quinoa.

[niccig]

Quinoa tofu stir fry, yum, can I come eat at your house?


Actually, it's tofu fried rice but I use quinoa instead of rice. Soy sauce with a little sriracha mixed in and then chinese 5 spice. Yum.

[kijip]

My BIL and to a lesser degree my MIL and stepFIL are like that. I think the Ellyn Satter rule applies here. Put some things in front of her you know she likes. But it's ok to offer more than 1 side and just not care which one she takes- the quinoa salad or the potatoes.

Some ideas that don't require switching wholly to the essentially-veggie-free carb-heavy American diet:

Roast Chicken with lemon and herbs, rice and salad
Sandwiches- she can make what she wants and you can throw peppers and whatnot in yours. You can even use different bread.
Chicken salad with green salad and a fruit salad
Grill stuff. A lot. Again, easy to make modifications. Skewers, steaks, BBQ chicken, hamburgers, salmon etc.
Pasta salad?
Pulled pork in a very mild sauce? You can serve with buns baked beans, macaroni salad and greens and just not notice if she passes on the greens.
Make your own pizza night. Very easy to customize. Put out the toppings and let her choose what she likes while you throw roasted garlic and goat cheese goodness on yours.

I would also dedicate a couple of nights to her favorite dishes. We never make Beef Stroganoff unless my MIL, who is a big fan, is here to eat it. Cooking something you know is her special favorite is a nice gesture.

[rin]

I totally sympathize! It sounds like my family eats similarly to yours, but my DH's two siblings came to visit last fall; one eats almost no vegetables (except corn and tomatoes), definitely no onions & garlic, and nothing spicy. The other is a vegetarian. It was really exhausting. Stuff I had success with:

Mac n cheese
Tuna casserole
Homemade tomato soup w/rolls
Egg salad sandwiches

That said, I think next time I'm going to solicit meal suggestions, or maybe send them a list of meals we eat & ask them cross off anything that doesn't sound good.

[crl]

Would she like to cook for you a few times? I'd definitely plan on delivery a couple of time and a nice meal out or two.

Catherine

[brgnmom]

that sounds like a tough situation. I haven't read through the other responses. Is it possible for you to do take-out once in awhile at a restaurant that she enjoys eating at, just so you can get a little break?

[niccig]

Would she like to cook for you a few times? I'd definitely plan on delivery a couple of time and a nice meal out or two.

Catherine

YEs...she makes fried chicken and fries that DH loves, it's served with cranberry jelly from a can. If I make a salad, I'm fine with it. I'll have to go buy a tub of crisco. Before every visit I buy a tub, she uses it and then scoops oil back into can telling me I can reuse it. We don't deep fry, so I toss it and buy again for her next visit.

[JustMe]

Sorry, I can't help with this...but I would definitely be another taker for whatever portions of your cooking your MIL does not want! Sounds so yummy! Can you post a couple of recipes when you get a chance?

[cntrymoon2]

Can you go grocery shopping together and do some meal prep and cooking as a family activity while she's visiting? Then she gets to have her input and it's less time having to entertain her elsewhere.

[WatchingThemGrow]

meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes
crockpot pot roast
breakfast for dinner
let her teach DS how she makes fried chicken - as a special event
kabobs on the grill
pork chops with a box of scalloped potatoes?

[TwinFoxes]

Actually, it's tofu fried rice but I use quinoa instead of rice. Soy sauce with a little sriracha mixed in and then chinese 5 spice. Yum.

Ok, yum.

Your MIL and mine sound very similar, right down to buying avocado for us that she made sure to put in her fridge's veggie crisper until we got there.

We've done home made pizza, chicken casserole from Real Simple magazine (I omit the extra spices I normally use) burgers, spaghetti (again omitting spices) panini. She will eat my pasta with pesto, chicken and tomatoes, I was taking a chance with that one! If I were you I'd probably fix quinoa as a side as long as she eats the main entree I think that's fair. She might like it (not the sir fry one, there's no way!)

I don't know what schnitzel is (sausage?) and she's Polish American so there's no way I'm taking a stab at that or pierogi, plus she likes the fried kind (wait, is schnitzel Polish?). Of course my favorite thing to make while she's here is reservations. :)

[MamaMolly]

YEs...she makes fried chicken and fries that DH loves, it's served with cranberry jelly from a can. If I make a salad, I'm fine with it. I'll have to go buy a tub of crisco. Before every visit I buy a tub, she uses it and then scoops oil back into can telling me I can reuse it. We don't deep fry, so I toss it and buy again for her next visit.

Vom-it. I'm from the Deep South where we fry bacon lard (cracklins!) and this grosses me out. But I bet that chicken is darn good!!

I have experienced the same dilemma with my stepmom who thinks veggies are icky and a DH who strongly prefers mostly meatless meals. It is a conundrum, isn't it?

I found stir fry to be an easy compromise. I would make the stir fry parts separately, save a small dish of each ingredient, and then make a large serving bowl or platter of the actual stir fry. That way she could 'season' the ingredients, leave out parts, or try the whole thing as she wished. Same thing for salad. One bowl for lettuces, small bowls for 'toppings'. Since everyone was served that way it didn't seem like I was singling her out.

For things like casseroles with rice/grain, meat and sauce components, I'd save out a smaller bowl of plain rice or grain, some of the cooked meat, etc.

Good luck, hon. I know it will be trying, but on the bright side it is not forever, right?

[TwinFoxes]

I found stir fry to be an easy compromise. I would make the stir fry parts separately, save a small dish of each ingredient, and then make a large serving bowl or platter of the actual stir fry. That way she could 'season' the ingredients, leave out parts, or try the whole thing as she wished. Same thing for salad. One bowl for lettuces, small bowls for 'toppings'.



If I served stir fry to my Mil I'd have to hear about her marveling about "what was that one dish you served...it was so, um, interesting" for years to come. YEARS. She still talks about the time we drove by a Korean BBQ place..."who would eat THERE?"

[123LuckyMom]

I'd ask her to "teach" me to cook some of DH's childhood favorites. MIL can write up the list, and show you how it's done in the kitchen. She'll feel great that her way of doing things has been honored, and she'll have things she likes to eat. DH will have some meals he remembers from childhood, and you'll have someone else do most of the planning and cooking! Win, win, win! The rest of the time you can grill, eat out, and make some plain things you know she'll eat.

[MamaMolly]

If I served stir fry to my Mil I'd have to hear about her marveling about "what was that one dish you served...it was so, um, interesting" for years to come. YEARS. She still talks about the time we drove by a Korean BBQ place..."who would eat THERE?"

And you didn't stuff a sock into her mouth? You are a saint! :bowdown:

[niccig]

If I served stir fry to my Mil I'd have to hear about her marveling about "what was that one dish you served...it was so, um, interesting" for years to come. YEARS. She still talks about the time we drove by a Korean BBQ place..."who would eat THERE?"

This would be the same, but I wouldn't hear about it, it would be repeated to everyone else forever.

I know tofu isn't for everyone, and I don't expect everyone to eat what we eat. As a guest in my house, I will try to accomodate. It's just, 2 weeks is LONG.

[karstmama]

i like luckymom's idea - the bonus could be if you were also the scribe, so that your children would have some recipes of grandma's written down. or that could be dh's role. i know it's tough to yield in food matters, i really do, but you could end up looking like a rose if you play your cards carefully!

[TwinFoxes]

And you didn't stuff a sock into her mouth? You are a saint! :bowdown:

:ROTFLMAO: She's actually pretty good on the MIL scale, but, yeah, anything different than completely middle of the road is "weird". Once, she was visiting and I went out to eat with a friend. She knew we were going to a Vietnamese restaurant, and when I got home she couldn't wait to find out what I had, and I said "squid". OMG for the rest of her stay she kept talking about it. My DH finally said to me "why didn't you jut say 'chicken'!" (he was sick of hearing it too!) So right! Next time I'm saying I went to TGI Fridays and had "chicken".

[peanut520]

What about deconstructing some of your family dishes so there might be options she can pick from. I do it a lot for vegetarian and vegan friends. Make your own fried rice: stir fried rice, bowl of mixed veggies, stir fried tofu and some meats that she will eat.

[niccig]

:ROTFLMAO: She's actually pretty good on the MIL scale, but, yeah, anything different than completely middle of the road is "weird". Once, she was visiting and I went out to eat with a friend. She knew we were going to a Vietnamese restaurant, and when I got home she couldn't wait to find out what I had, and I said "squid". OMG for the rest of her stay she kept talking about it. My DH finally said to me "why didn't you jut say 'chicken'!" (he was sick of hearing it too!) So right! Next time I'm saying I went to TGI Fridays and had "chicken".

We have the same MIL. Anything different is weird and I would go as far to say, she thinks it's wrong. I know the "wrong" part is her insecurity. Eg. I wore DS as a baby, well that was weird and wrong as she didn't wear her kids in a sling. DS loves calamari, we should go to a seafood restaurant and he can eat the baby octopus that they do there. Her response would be :47: to see him pop them in his mouth. One of DS and DH's favourite snacks are the packs of seaweed from TJs, apparently it's a top seller here and I know many kids in DS's class that have it in their lunches. That's another weird thing that we eat.

[indigo99]

My in-laws were here for a week, and they also have different tastes in food than we do. I had planned on making fajitas, but they apparently don't like mexican food so... they cooked dinner. They did the shopping and cooking for about half the nights that they were here. I guess it's a little different if you're only having MIL and not the whole family come, but I tend to agree with your DH. If she wants something different then she can help shop and cook.

[misshollygolightly]

My MIL is similar, but not quite so extreme. It's a great time of year to grill hamburgers (which you can top with as many veggies as you like, or sub in a veggie patty if you prefer). Baked pork chops (bake with a can of cream-of-mushroom soup and a little water) served over either white rice (for MIL) or quinoa (for you and fam). A spaghetti or pasta dish (you can add some roasted peppers to your own if you like). I always enjoy chicken poppyseed casserole as an easy, crowd-pleasing food (it's kind of a southern comfort food...here's one of many recipes: http://www.food.com/recipe/poppy-seed-chicken-casserole-269300). Serve with steamed broccoli and carrots for the veggie eaters, if you like. How about grilled steaks or salmon and baked potatoes? Do several build-your-own sandwich meals. How about made-to-order omelettes, with lots of veggies for you and plain ham/cheese for MIL? Another easy meal is to pick up a roasted chicken at the grocery store and pair it with whatever sides you (and she) enjoy.

I agree with others...it may be a bit inconvenient and annoying, but you'll look like a saint and I want my guests (including MIL) to feel comfortable in my home and at my table when they visit.

[Indianamom2]

If it were my mil, I'd send her an email asking for a list of groceries she'd like me to get for her.

Explain that you eat different foods, and you'd like her to have something she enjoys in your refrigerator.

:yeahthat: Haven't read all the replies, but this would be the easiest way to plan.

Also, how about simple meals from the grill...like grilled chicken and veggies on a skewer (you can still do skewers of more veggies for your family, more meat for MIL), pork tenderloin, chicken salad for lunch (not on the grill, but something pretty easy to make, especially if you buy a rotisserie chicken), pizza?

[Indianamom2]

I'd ask her to "teach" me to cook some of DH's childhood favorites. MIL can write up the list, and show you how it's done in the kitchen. She'll feel great that her way of doing things has been honored, and she'll have things she likes to eat. DH will have some meals he remembers from childhood, and you'll have someone else do most of the planning and cooking! Win, win, win! The rest of the time you can grill, eat out, and make some plain things you know she'll eat.

Oooo...after reading this...this is perfect. You win lots of points here!

[hellokitty]

Argh, I feel bad for you that she is staying that long with you and that she is critical of your cooking, esp since she refuses to try new things. We have the opposite problem, where our parents will only eat their own ethnic food and don't want to eat american food. It's the same problem, but in reverse, although we do enjoy ethnic foods, every once in a while we just want a hamburger, so it can be a drag when the guests are so fussy and want everyone else to cater to their preferences.

I like the suggestion of having your mil cook to show you her recipes. Good way to find out what she likes/recipes and also putting her to work, and putting the ball in her court, since she is a fussy eater. Also, another suggestion I have, so that your entire family isn't sacrificing to eat to mil's taste during her entire visit, is to cook a few generic type of american meals in large batches (grilled chicken, meat loaf, spaghetti, etc.) and freeze them into smaller portions. So, if you decide to do something ethnic for dinner, and she doesn't want any part of it, you can just pull out a frozen portion and she can have that.

I mean, she can't complain that you're not bending over backwards to be a gracious hostess. However, I often think it's rude when house guests show little to no effort to meld to the way of life of the family that is hosting them during a visit that is more than a couple of days. My brother and sil have a HUGE problem with my mom when she visits. My mom insists that they have rice with EVERY meal (and not healthy rice, but the bad, asian short grained rice), while my brother and sil (strong history of insulin resistance, esp for our side, my dad's diabetes is obviously poorly controlled since he eats too many carbs) try to decrease carbs and my mom bitches and moans about it and keeps making passive aggressive comments to my brother and sil about how it's not healthy not NOT eat rice and other weird opinions that she states as if they are facts. It's to the point where she has continue to chisel an already shaky relationship into one where my brother and sil just outwardly do not hide their annoyance or dislike anymore. I don't blame them, my mom's got this crappy habit of constantly repeating her, "advice" if she thinks you are doing something different from the way she would do it and worse yet, makes it sound like anyone who does things differently than she does or has a different opinion is wrong. I always tell her to stop it when she does it, but I know my sil doesn't feel at liberty to tell my mom to cut the crap, even though my brother will tell her to stop it, I feel that my sil probably gets a lot of this when my brother isn't around.

Good luck, I hope that her visit will go quickly, so you won't suffer too much, lol. The only good thing about my mil (who I can't stand) is that she is a sh*tty cook, and I am a pretty good cook, so she usually happily eats what I make (although I admit that we still cater toward serving something that we know they would eat, there is no way we'd try fix them foods mexican food or other foods that we know that they would just hate), since it means she doesn't have to do any work and my food actually is flavored (everything mil makes tastes like it's been boiled to death).