JustMe
06-15-2012, 02:28 AM
For the life of me, I can't understand these people and have just come to the conclusion that I can't "chase" them at all, but I just don't get them. Here are 2 examples--
1) Former co-worker who left my agency. We never got together outside of work socially, but when she left told me about 4 separate times that I was one of the few people that made it hard for her to leave, one of the few people that she wanted to keep in touch with, etc. Even at the time, I took it with a grain of salt as she is one of those busy, extended people. Eventually, though, I called to see how she was doing and if she wanted to get together. No return phone call. So, I let it go and after much time send her an e-mail when I am networking for jobs. She responds, and also says she would love to get together with me and my kids. She suggests a couple of alternatives. I respond, but no reply from her and we are past the dates she suggested. I should add that all of her children are grown.
2)Former co-worker of an agency I left. We did get together a lot when we worked together and our dds are the same age. Even when we worked together, she would sometimes not return calls to say yes or no to dates we agreed were tentative, would be extremely late many times to times we did schedule. Our dd's adored each other. When I left the agency after no return phone calls, I let it go but we end up seeing each other at professional trainings. No problem, we are friendly to each other and have good conversations...she suggests getting together, I tell her to call me (as I don't want to chase her), no phone calls. Once, I try her as I figure one phone call won't kill me. No return call. Then I do call her for job networking purposes. She does call back, we talk about that and then she suggests getting together. She is supposed to call me after she talks to her dh about their schedule. In the meantime, her dd calls my dd because she is so excited about seeing her (they are 9 and have not seen each other in about 4.5 years!). Her dd is trying to arrange a date with my dd, so I hear this and ask to talk to her mom (the person I am talking about) and I hear the mom/this woman say irritablely to her dd "I can't now. I am talking to your dad". Okay, understandable...but then no phone call back weeks later.
I get that I need to just accept this, and not take them seriously when they bring up getting together (which I do not do), but I just don't get it! If you don't have the time and/or want, then why keep bringing it up especially when I don't?
1) Former co-worker who left my agency. We never got together outside of work socially, but when she left told me about 4 separate times that I was one of the few people that made it hard for her to leave, one of the few people that she wanted to keep in touch with, etc. Even at the time, I took it with a grain of salt as she is one of those busy, extended people. Eventually, though, I called to see how she was doing and if she wanted to get together. No return phone call. So, I let it go and after much time send her an e-mail when I am networking for jobs. She responds, and also says she would love to get together with me and my kids. She suggests a couple of alternatives. I respond, but no reply from her and we are past the dates she suggested. I should add that all of her children are grown.
2)Former co-worker of an agency I left. We did get together a lot when we worked together and our dds are the same age. Even when we worked together, she would sometimes not return calls to say yes or no to dates we agreed were tentative, would be extremely late many times to times we did schedule. Our dd's adored each other. When I left the agency after no return phone calls, I let it go but we end up seeing each other at professional trainings. No problem, we are friendly to each other and have good conversations...she suggests getting together, I tell her to call me (as I don't want to chase her), no phone calls. Once, I try her as I figure one phone call won't kill me. No return call. Then I do call her for job networking purposes. She does call back, we talk about that and then she suggests getting together. She is supposed to call me after she talks to her dh about their schedule. In the meantime, her dd calls my dd because she is so excited about seeing her (they are 9 and have not seen each other in about 4.5 years!). Her dd is trying to arrange a date with my dd, so I hear this and ask to talk to her mom (the person I am talking about) and I hear the mom/this woman say irritablely to her dd "I can't now. I am talking to your dad". Okay, understandable...but then no phone call back weeks later.
I get that I need to just accept this, and not take them seriously when they bring up getting together (which I do not do), but I just don't get it! If you don't have the time and/or want, then why keep bringing it up especially when I don't?