Stop crying!!!!!!!!

[cookiemonster80]

Why did I want another baby? I seriously can't remember right now- DD2 (reflux) 8 weeks today has seriously been screaming ALL DAY LONG- after not sleeping AT ALL last night. oh sorry- to be fair she did take 2, 20 minute naps today (sarcastic):gloomy:.

I know this is temporary but I'm losing my mind. DD1 is even at her grandparents this week so I have it easy right now-except that DH has worked 18 hours a day for the last 2 weeks straight and I have been alone with the screamer, in the house, the entire time. I seriously can't even see beyond the next 5 minutes. I have her screaming in the bouncy seat right now because I am afraid I will shake her if I hold her right now- not that it will make any difference if I hold her or not. She just fights me and flails around the whole time.

I thought we were getting better with the Zantac but stupid me thought I would try eggs last night because I am HUNGARY from being on the total elimination diet of rice and potatoes to try to help with the reflux.

Make it stop! anyone want a 8 week old? (just kidding- kind of)

Please don't judge- I just needed somewhere to vent.

[swrc00]

First of all major hugs! :hug: Have you tried going for a walk with DC outside? That used to distract DS when he was this age and we were experiencing the "witching hour", which often became the "witching day."

Do you have a neighbor that could come over for a little while, for you to go for a walk or just to get out of the house? It does get better. I hope tonight is a much better one.

[3isEnough]

No judging here, I was in your shoes with 2 of my kids and it was brutal. The *only* thing that helped them was talking a walk in the stroller. They would instantly calm down when outside and would actually be pleasant. And it would give me a chance to catch my breath, remember that there is life beyond screaming babies, and regain my composure.

I remember when my oldest was a baby and cried all day and I happened to walk by an elementary school. I saw all the kids outside playing and thought to myself that their parents made it through their infancies somehow, so I could too (since at the time, I didn't even know if we'd make it through the day).

I'm so sorry, I know it's extremely difficult. If I were anywhere near you I'd come over and give you a break. :hug: Hang in there, it won't last forever even though it seems like it might!

[edurnemk]

I've BTDT, well DS didn't have reflux, but he was an intense baby and at times I just wanted to scream or run out of the house. This is what worked to calm him down:

-The 5 S's from happiest baby on the block (best rec our Ped ever gave us)
-Taking him for a walk in the stroller (sometimes inside the house if the weather was not nice, or it was late)
-White noise, in his particular case, my blowdryer and the bathroom fan.
-Oh I think I tried wearing him in a sling and it worked pretty well, it's just that I had a bad sling that killed my back (infantino) so I didn't like it. Maybe for a reflux baby a wrap with tummy to tummy carry would work well.

:grouphug:

[Minnifer]

No judgment here - there were many times I had to walk away from DS (reflux) and DD (colic) b/c I just.couldn't.take.it anymore. The thing that got me through w/DS and the reflux was the cradle swing - seriously, a lifesaver and I'm not sure any of us would be around if I hadn't gotten one - it was the only way he slept, esp during the day, for ages and ages. None of the other usual tricks worked w/him - didn't like the stroller or carrier or being swaddled or much of anything. And he was actually more laid back than DD in many ways, if you can believe it. Anyway, I'm sorry you're going through this and I know it really, really sucks. :grouphug:

[georgiegirl]

Many many hugs. I've been there (dd was colicky), and it was a horrible, wretched experience. The only time it was bearable was when my sister was visiting and we started singing show tunes to the crying baby at 11pm. Leaving the house helped, as did watching movies while bouncing a screaming baby in a carrier.

Have you tried the vacuum? The only way I could get dd to sleep for a while was this crazy combo of doing the following things all at the same time: swaddling her, putting a paci in her mouth, putting her in the vibrating bouncy seat, picking up the seat and swinging it side to side (no, the cradle swing didn't work), and having the vacuum on.

[malphy]

First of all, big hugs!! It is ok.

Dd was a reflux baby and it was awful. It was bad before we tried zantac but the zantac made it much worse! The ped gi put her on prevacid and said many children reacted poorly to zantac. Maybe you should try a different med for her. Prevacid (compunded every 2 weeks was a godsend for my dd.

Reflux meds are trial and error and unfortunately, take at least 2 weeks to start working.
Many of my friends had reflux babies and different meds worked for each.

Hang in there, it is hard but you will get through.

[pastrygirl]

Oh man, I was completely there with my youngest when he was born! I felt like maybe I really did make a mistake having a second child.

Zantac did nothing. Prevacid solutabs worked for the reflux, but he still cried all the time. Still does (with me) , and he's almost 3!!! I'm so bleeping sick of the crying. I just want a happy, laid-back kid...

Take advantage of any help you can get. I remember having to call my husband home early from work a few times because I worried I was going to hurt someone. I frequently put the baby in his crib and went to my room alone so I could gather my wits.

[ray7694]

Been there and I through breastfeeding out the window and my dd had to drink Nutramigen. Night and day difference once we switched.

[essnce629]

What about putting baby in the carseat and driving around or taking a walk with the stroller? Anything to get out of the house. I'd just drive till baby falls asleep and then park and read a book or something. Do you have a birth ball? Holding baby upright, swaddled, and bouncing on it always stopped the crying and knocked them out. I'm a big fan of the 5 S's as well. (((HUGS)))

[lmh2402]

omg - so been in your shoes with DS. seriously. i'm so sorry you're going through this!

agree with PPs - the only thing that made it a little bit better was getting out of the house. i used to just strap DS in a carrier and walk. he would still scream, but eventually once we were outside and i just kept going...he would stop. i walked in rain, at night, in wee hours of morning. i just kept walking and walking.

and i also did flip out a few times - see an earlier BP from me in which i disclosed smashing a drinking glass into the kitchen sink one night and then running out of the house into the pouring rain and just walking until i had to find a cab to bring me home even though i had no money

so i really do understand. it's awful. it will get better. i promise :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: just so hard to see through to the other side right now

vent here all you need to :hug:

[Seitvonzu]

no btdt, but no judgment either. *hug*

[BabyBearsMom]

I used to put DD1 in the swing on the 1st floor, go into the bathroom on the third floor, turn on the fan and get into the shower (crying usually). I found that blocking out the noise for 5 minutes and giving myself a few minutes of peace really gave me the strength to go back and try to sooth her. So sorry you are going through this!

[Nicsmom]

I have been there and it's brutal. Yes, block the noise for a few minutes, nothing will happen to the baby and you will regain your sanity, even if momentarily.

It will pass, and it will be sooner than you think. I remember thinking that the crying would never stop, that this was what my life had become. Thankfully I was very wrong.

[ourbabygirl]

Well, I've also BTDT! Hopefully it'll help you feel just a bit better knowing that so many of us have gone through this, and it's NOT your fault, and it's good that you're venting here so you can get it out of your system somehow! :)
My DD was colicky until 4 months old (I was so sure it would end by 3 months because that's what most doctors & books say, but it took another month), and DS was just plain fussy (and still is :rotflmao:). I had a hard time dealing with both of them, but it was worse with DS because I was even more sleep deprived and I ended up needing medication for what was most likely PPD (I scored really high on that list of questions you ask yourself and knew that I needed help when I was worried I was going to hurt DS one day).

Anyhow, hugs :hug:, and what worked for us was
The 5 "S's" from "Happiest Baby on the Block" and
White noise from running the kitchen faucet right next to their head, and turning on the (microwave) exhaust fan above the stove right next to their head. We tried everything else- vacuuming, fans, radio, singing, hair dryer, clothes dryer (someone suggested holding their car seat on top of it), I can't remember what else. Also, many people said that taking a drive worked with their colicky kids, but our babies *hated* driving, so that didn't work.

Just take it day by day, and don't be afraid to go get help if you need it! Whether that's help from family or friends, a baby-sitter, or a doctor!

[MamaMolly]

Oh honey, if I was close I'd totally come over and give you a break! Lula was a reflux baby. Wouldn't take Zantac but we did have success on Axid. It still took a while to build up in her system, but once it worked I was religious about timing her doses. A couple hours off and my life was hell on earth.

I remember sitting on the front porch steps and crying because I could still hear her inside the house.

[twowhat?]

I've been there. It sucks. Really sucks.

Here's a little something to make you laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nJtd0Ua8sQ

eta: do not feel bad about putting baby down in a safe place (crib, etc) and taking a quick hot shower.

[almostamom]

I have not BTDT, but my best friend had a colicky baby. The ONLY thing that helped was the vacuum cleaner. Hugs to you! :hug:

[Tinochka]

First, I want to hug you! Been there... and no judgement. Unless ppl had been there, they don’t know what it is, especially, when you don’t know, how long it’ll last.
I know, that it’s bitching post, but can I ask you some ??
1) Why do you think that a baby has a reflux? Does she spit up a lot?
I am asking, because I noticed that doctors are very quick with a reflux diagnose.
My first one had reflux (spitted up tons), but second one was hell, because he was screaming day and night for a month (I know, doesn’t sound a lot, but at a time it sure felt forever). I had been at ped’s office numerous times, received right away “reflux” diagnose, but didn’t see any improvements... And he was not spitting up, eating very well, but we couldn’t put him down, he was in our hand 24 hours. I was glad that my DH was around for that time, otherwise, God knows, what could happen, especially, when you have another child to take care.
I got a suggestion to feed a baby with lactofree formula, but I didn’t see signs of lactose intolerance (like blood in the poop), didn’t “buy” that diagnose.
2) Do you BF? Do you think that you might have strong milk let down? In my case, what changed our lives like day and night, is the way I was BF him (thanks to lady from LLL meeting). It turned out that I had strong milk let down on one side and a baby was galloping milk with lots of air, then had gas in his tommy.
I pumped and my DH fed him through a bottle for 2 days, we saw first time a smile in his face, relaxed hands....and he is actually a very smily kid nowadays:). Once I learned about that, I was feeding him using football position on the side where I had a strong let down, so, I didn’t need to pump (I hate to pump).

3) I might be wrong, but during that month what helped us
a) having half night shifts with DH;
b) we used a vacuum cleaner noise, then recorded it...
c) I used a sling and once a baby settled down, laid down on a reclining chair and tried to sleep.
d) went outside anytime of the day and night, so, I can have some fresh air and see that there is a life beyond the screaming.
e) gave camomile water to a baby;

4) If you can reach for help, don’t hesitate to ask. If you BF going to LLL meeting might help (you can talk to them privately, usually they can come up with some ideas to try)
Wish that things will settle down for you soon!

[Tondi G]

BTDT! DS1 was a screamer. He cried, I cried... we were a bit of a mess! use any and all crutches that you can ... swing, bouncy seat, carriers/slings, vacuum, dryer, car. Mine didn't really want any of them but some do. Mine wanted to be held 24/7 and wanted to nurse around the clock. He wanted to see the world (hated the stroller and the car seat) coming at him so he spent a lot of time in a baby bjorn facing out! We did A LOT of walking.

Just breathe and know that this is just temporary. Oh and no judgements. I used to tell DS he was lucky he was so cute and that we loved him cause he could've ended up a dumpster baby if he was born into another family. Just do what you gotta do to get through your days.... if it means putting your little one in the crib and leaving the room for 10 minutes then so be it. As long as baby is in a safe place the worst thing that might happen is he'll cry and possibly fall asleep. Hang in there Mama .... you're already 8 weeks in!!!!

Hope things improve soon!

[kellyd]

my goodness I feel your pain!! With my son this is the point that I couldn't get the ped to believe me that it was reflux because he was still gaining weight. With the girls this was when we were waiting for the Prevacid to kick in.... So yes, I remember clearly the 8week mark!

If you think the Zantac is now not working I would strongly recommend taking him back to the PEd for a weight check. DS was only ever on Zantac, 3x's a day from 11 weeks to 2 years. For the first 6-8 months I was back at the Ped's at least monthly for a dosage check and EVERY time we left with an increase in dose. Zantac is weight based, so that could be your problem. each time we went we were given a .1 increase which may not seem like a lot but in a tiny baby it's a lot. If you get a weight check and don't need an increase then maybe the zantac isn't enough. Zantac wasn't and still isn't enough for my girls. My girls get 1/2 of a prevacid solutab daily, and 1 dose of Zantac. The Zantac they get before lunch, the prevacid at bedtime.

Hopefully that helps. With my girls I just learned that when they started doing a lot of fussing again after eating, and lots of burping in between that looked and sounded painful, I upped the zantac by .1 and things got good again.

[cookiemonster80]

Thanks everyone.
To answer a few questions- she definitely has reflux AND colic- both mothers were here for the first 6 weeks to help with DD1 while I took care of the baby (and now dd1 is at grandparents so I feel stupid complaining when I've had so much help) and both said that out of the combined 10 babies they've cared for none screamed like Dd2.

I'm pretty sure the reflux dx is correct- she was spitting a ton 5-10 times per feeding of large quantities, and in extreme pain while she was doing it- balling up, flailing, high pitched screaming after eating, arched back, grunted, moaned, struggled to breathe, turned purple, etc. I know it sounds crazy but I noticed a difference the day we started Zantac- after I had done the total elimination diet for a about a week so the combination of those things seemed to work better.

I agree she needs more meds now than she did 3 weeks ago- I actually had increased her on my Owen because she was spitting up after the meds and I wanted to halve a bigger chance of something absoorbing ( dh is a dr and looked up the dosage to be sure I wasn't overdosing her). We go to her pedi tomorrow.

I haven't tried the vaccuum( will do that today), car, but the stroller, swing, swaddle, paci, bouncyseat, ergo all don't work.

Nope, we don't have any family here and our neighbors are all old ( at least the ones we know) so I'm totally by myself in this boat.

But- its morning and dh took her last night when he got in at 3 so things are looking a little better than they did yesterday.

Still open to any and all suggestions- thanks for your support. If I still feel like this in a week I'm going to talk to my OB about ppd meds- I took a few quizzes last night and they all said " get help immediately". Yikes

[pastrygirl]

I forgot to mention that I went on PPD meds, specifically because I could not handle all the crying. It helped. I never really got "happy," but it really helped tone down the rage I felt all the time.

[MamaMolly]

Zoloft has helped me deal with my depression that manifested as anger. It is considered safe for breastfeeding. Also, until you get a chance to see your Dr, you can take vitamin B-6 in higher than a regular multivitamin doses. I take 100mg daily. It helps too.

[Simon]

Hugs to you.

I say, it is absolutely worth it to find the magic white noise that will help your baby: vacuum, hair dryer, air conditioner, shower running, whatever. Harvey Karp and HBOTB has some sound tracks of these, I think. For Ds1 a running shower would magically turn off his crying. Like a switch. Amazing!

Ds1 was my food allergy, reflux, screaming refuse to eat baby. I used to sit and cry in the bathroom with him and the shower running full blast to try and calm him down enough so he would eat because he was in so much pain/afraid. There is nothing harder, I swear! I am glad to hear Zantac worked so fast for you, I don't think you're crazy because it worked like that for us too. But, it is so important to keep on top of upping the dosage. We had several set backs when he had even a little growth spurt! I have heard you can sometimes use a liquid antacid in small doses for immediate and additional relief.

On the bright side, if there is one, you know to avoid eggs. They were out here too for Ds1. Fingers crossed you can start adding in some other foods without another scream fest.

[StantonHyde]

Just wanted to add--please feel free to come here. There are so many moms who have been where you are. And the sad thing is, nobody IRL talks about it!!!! Babies are great but not when they scream all day and there is no sleep. Seriously, they could use them as torture devices in 3rd world dictatorships.

DS was a month early and never got the sleeping thing down. THANK GOD he didn't cry all day, too!!! By 6 weeks, I was so whacko with sleep deprivation/anxiety that I called the ped and asked what meds I could take and still breast feed. Zoloft to the rescue. Took the edge off and let me cope. I had daily thoughts about chucking the baby out the window!!! I learned to leave him in his crib and walk away. I kept telling myself--if you strangle him, you would just go to jail and who would marry you then and you would have to start all over. (I didn't say I was rational :p ) I also got a lovely elderly woman to come 3-4 afternoons a week for 3 hours so I could nap for 2 hours, take a walk, and maybe pick up the house a bit. Totally saved my sanity. (So did the 5 s's from Karp's book!!) The only way he would reliably sleep was in the Bjorn. I wore that thing a lot just to keep him quiet.

With dd, she had a witching hour every night around 6 or 7. I just put her in the Bjorn and walked the neighborhood. She screamed, I sang, the dog and I got exercise, it was calming to be outside, and I got lots of sympathy from neighbors :love2: With her, it was ok, because I knew it would end in an hour or so. We just had to get through it.

White noise machines are a godsend. For DD, she didn't like that but she liked classical music, so I got a CD player that would repeat all night long. And she slept in a cradle swing, swaddled, till she was 6 months old!!! But she slept and that was key. I also used ear plugs for me so I didn't get hyper vigilant about every little noise.

[Melbel]

My 2 girls had colic too and it was a miserable time. I felt so guilty and sad that my last baby in particular, knowing it was my last, had such a hard infancy (for all of us).

DD2 was my bad reflux baby (as it turns out, it was her first symptom of Lyme Disease, sigh). We had to switch from Zantac to a PPI because it was not working. We preferred Zegerid because it did not need to be timed with food. www.infantreflux.org and the marci kids site for dosages were both helpful. Many pediatricians are not educated on PPI's and the need to increase dosages frequently for all reflux meds based on weight. I would request a referral for a pediatric GI doctor both for expertise on meds, and to rule out other more serious conditions just in case. I also had to do an elimination diet while BF and ended up 25 pounds under weight within 6 months of delivering DD2. It is hard to get enough calories in with such a strict diet and BF. FWIW, her reflux did not improve once we stopped BF at 14 months, so it was not the breast milk.

A couple tips

For DD2, she HATED the infant carrier seat in the car because of the curve in the seat caused her pain. We had much better luck with the convertible which is a nice even incline.

The sling was her most comfortable place. She would curl up in a ball just like she was back in utero. I angled her more upright to help with the reflux. She did not like any other carrier. I walked miles with that sling on (perhaps another reason I lost so much weight).

Swaddling also helped (using a wrap with velcro to keep it nice and snug)

The gas drops helped somewhat, some of the time.

Hugs.

[Carrots]

OMG. No judging from me! I was also in your shoes with DD 2 and I understand how incredibly frustrating a screaming baby can be. I used to shut myself in the bathroom and turn the shower on to get away from the sound :bag.

I am sorry you have to do the dairy elimination diet too. DD2 is now 2 and we are still trying to figure out her GI issues. She is on the dairy elimination right now.

Can you have a neighbor take her for a walk or watch her while you go for a walk? Those precious minutes of alone time are wonderful. :hug:

[doberbrat]

old neighbors might work... they can sit and rock the baby and if they're lucky, they can turn their hearing aid off and hear less crying.....

any colleges near you? you could find a mother's helper/sitter for an hour or 2 a day?

just bouncing off ideas.

Other than that, the shower was a g-dsend for me. I'd put dd1 in her crib w/some music on and take a hot shower. Somehow, everything seemed better after a good shower (and I couldnt hear the crying over teh water!)