Do you not invite some of your friends to your house party due to their kids behavior

[moonsky]

We had a BBQ party last week at our house. After the party, Dh and I discussed on how it went and who we wouldn't invite back. Both families are pretty much letting their kids do whatever they wanted even I had asked politely not to. For example, they took water melon, ice cream, juicy food and ate in the playroom while I asked them to please sit and eat at the table before going back and play. I did ask their parents to help telling them. Instead, they said that this would be the only way their kids would eat. It wasn't fun to wipe all the toy after the party and tried to get rid off the stains out of our rugs.

I don't mind that they broke some of our toys. However, I don't understand while their parents let their kids climb in the doll stroller pham. I didn't want their kids(2-4 yrs old) to hurt themselves. I kept telling their moms that they were for the doll not for the real kids, not even the babies. They didn't seem to care.

The worst part is that one of these families left both of their kids(4 and 6 yrs old) with us but NOT telling or asking us. I found out later that the mom went to the mall and the dad went to check out open houses in our neighborhood. They didn't come back till hours later. I noticed it when other guests already left and I couldn't find or reach them. Their kids were wild to begin with. They hid in brushes in my backyard, got in the mud. I have three kids of my own to deal with(All under 6 yrs old). It is very difficult for me to understand why people would do that. Don't they concern about their kids safety? I recall the mom asking me during lunch whether our house is all fenced. It is but I still expect my guests to watch their own kids. Am I expect too much?

So, I watched their kids when I found out that they were not there. I don't want anyone to get hurt on my property.

[California]

From everything you described, it sounds like these families shouldn't be invited back based not only on the kids' behavior, but also based on how the adults/parents behaved. I would skip inviting them in the future for sure.

[cuca_]

That sounds awful. I would not invite them back, but based on the parents' behavior. I can deal with rowdy kids if their parents are at least attempting to keep them in check. The fact that you asked them to stop certain behaviors and they blatantly ignored you is totally unacceptable. Your house your rules.

[elliput]

Little wonder why the kids were obnoxious- their parental role models suck. Don't invite the families again.

[citymama]

Yes - that story is unreal!

[JustMe]

I would not invite them back to the parents' behaviors, not the kids! I am speechless regarding the couple who just left their kids there without even saying anything!

[hillview]

I would not invite them back to the parents' behaviors, not the kids! I am speechless regarding the couple who just left their kids there without even saying anything!

:yeahthat:

NFW I would have them back

[moonsky]

I would not invite them back to the parents' behaviors, not the kids! I am speechless regarding the couple who just left their kids there without even saying anything!

When I talked to the mom, she kept blaming on her husband. She said that he was supposed to watch them as she needed to go to the mall. I found it was odd that she needed to go shopping while she was supposed to be at the party. Couldn't she go after? Luckily we didn't have a pool. I knew that their kids couldn't swim.

[moonsky]

That sounds awful. I would not invite them back, but based on the parents' behavior. I can deal with rowdy kids if their parents are at least attempting to keep them in check. The fact that you asked them to stop certain behaviors and they blatantly ignored you is totally unacceptable. Your house your rules.

Dh said that I was younger than those moms. That's why they didn't listen to me. I would listen to the host though even he or she was younger than me.

[deborah_r]

When I talked to the mom, she kept blaming on her husband. She said that he was supposed to watch them as she needed to go to the mall. I found it was odd that she needed to go shopping while she was supposed to be at the party. Couldn't she go after?

They were using you for free babysitting, which is incredibly rude. If it is a drop-off birthday party, that is OK, but not a family event (I assume you invited the whole family).

[bigsis]

Wow! Those families would definitely not be invited back if I were in your shoes. They were rude, inconsiderate, and obnoxious! GRRrrrrr!

[cuca_]

Dh said that I was younger than those moms. That's why they didn't listen to me. I would listen to the host though even he or she was younger than me.

Absolutely. Age has nothing to do with it. I think those parents are seriously lacking in the manners department.

[mikala]

Dh said that I was younger than those moms. That's why they didn't listen to me. I would listen to the host though even he or she was younger than me.

Whhhhhaaaaa? This is bizarre to me. I can't even imagine the logic behind this. "Well, this host is married with three kids and invited us to this nice party, but since she graduated school x years behind us let's ignore her rules and let the kids trash her house." Insanity.

[Corie]

None of those families would be invited back to my house!!

[DualvansMommy]

You have lot more restraint and very polite after the ****TY way the kids AND parents behaved at your party in your home. No way would I ever consider them for anything again. Kids can be unruly, especially at a party environment; ie grabbing and eating to all foods, playing elsewhere from areas they were told to stay in, but the parents blew my mind. They dare to tell you they cannot eat anything as long its in playroom?? WTH? I would have replied saying oh so you let them eat ANYWHERE in your home? and LEAVING without TELLING YOU?? are they out of their minds? I find it so strange.

so sorry you had to deal with the aftermath. Seriously, I wouldn't have been as nice you were, probably would have drove their own children back to their home and drop them off. What if you had plans and need to go out?? didn't that even occur to them? and the age excuse would have been the last straw for me. So friggin rude.


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[edurnemk]

I would not invite these people ever again. It's not even their kids being naughty or whatever, what I find most aggravating and outright offensive is the parents lack of respect for you and your house. I cannot believe they refused to tell their kids to go eat at the table just 'cause "they won't eat". That's their problem to solve as parents. And not picking up or making them pick up after themselves? That's unheard where I come from. If DS broke a toy at someone's house I'd be paying for a new one right there. Let's not even get into the part where they left their kids without telling you!

Who wants "friends" like that? I'd never want to see them again, personally.

[kijip]

High holy hell.

No, you do not need to invite these people back. Seriously, the kids behavior is only going to get worse if that is what is passing for parenting in their houses.

[carolinamama]

I would definitely not be inviting those people back. Their behavior was completely disrespectful. I cannot believe that people left their kids there and left.

[HannaAddict]

Hard to believe this really happened, especially the drop off. You have quite a bit if drama from time to time. Whatever did you do about guest you thought might have bed bugs?

[moonsky]

I would not invite these people ever again. It's not even their kids being naughty or whatever, what I find most aggravating and outright offensive is the parents lack of respect for you and your house. I cannot believe they refused to tell their kids to go eat at the table just 'cause "they won't eat". That's their problem to solve as parents. And not picking up or making them pick up after themselves? That's unheard where I come from. If DS broke a toy at someone's house I'd be paying for a new one right there. Let's not even get into the part where they left their kids without telling you!

Who wants "friends" like that? I'd never want to see them again, personally.

One of them was my bridesmaid actually(not the one who left the kids). She used to be very nice but changed be weird after kids. Everything her Dh and her concerned is their kid and they don't discipline the kid. She has done a lot for me in the past. So, I have tried my best to be patient with them.

[moonsky]

Hard to believe this really happened, especially the drop off. You have quite a bit if drama from time to time. Whatever did you do about guest you thought might have bed bugs?

I told him my concern and he follows my protocol. So, we are fine.

[belovedgandp]

You were way nicer than me. Especially with the parents not enforcing your rules on the eating. After asking kids directly and then not being reinforced by the parents, I would have been physically removing food from the kids' hands.

[StantonHyde]

My kids eat in the playroom and sometimes the only they will eat is in front of the TV (more when they were little). Does that mean I would tell somebody else in their house that they have to let my kids have food in a room where food is not allowed in this house??????? He!! no. That's for me to figure out with my kids and if they go hungry, too bad.

I have had kids leave a heck of a clutter mess. But breaking toys?? Seriouisly, I would have pulled those kids out of the doll carriage when the parents wouldn't do anything!!! And then put it away.

And the leaving the kids--oh my, oh my, oh my. I won't even go there. Rude, rude, rude.

ITA with others--the kids are just a symptom of the parents.

[doberbrat]

Who wants "friends" like that? I'd never want to see them again, personally.

This! I cant even believe you're questioning it.

[hellokitty]

You aren't being unreasonable. I have friends who I'd love to spend time with, but quite frankly, their children act like monsters and they totally trash my house (like walking around eating, wiping grimy hands on everything... MY kids don't even do that!). I avoid inviting them over to my place. If we get together, we do it at a neutral place to meet up at or at their place.

[ZeeBaby]

This sounds terrible. All of it.

[gatorsmom]

:
You aren't being unreasonable. I have friends who I'd love to spend time with, but quite frankly, their children act like monsters and they totally trash my house (like walking around eating, wiping grimy hands on everything... MY kids don't even do that!). I avoid inviting them over to my place. If we get together, we do it at a neutral place to meet up at or at their place.
:yeahthat:

I have a relative with kids like this. The first time we had them over for a barbeque, the kids walked all around my house with melty chocolate chip cookies while their mom (my cousin) did nothng. When I asked if the kids were walking around with food (after I asked them not to) the mom just laughed and said "kids will be kids.". I didn't point out that MY kids weren't disobeying my rules. We just meet at a public place, now. I don't invite her over any more.

[elizabethkott]

There is no way this side of he!! I would invite these people back to my house again.
ESPECIALLY the couple who used you for free babysitting. They both just LEFT? Without telling anyone? And assumed that their children would be just cared for?!
(This is actually exactly what Mrs. Jones does at the pool - she'll walk away from one kid in the kiddie pool section to take the other to the bathroom without asking me or another mom to watch the young one... drives. me. crazy.)

[maestramommy]

The worst thing was leaving them without telling you that was their intention. WTF?? I would NEVER invite them back.

[Tinochka]

Oh, I am glad to hear that it is not new “normal” to allow kids to do, whatever they want to while being a guest. We started to have some play dates and I found that for me is easier do it without a parent (with some of them), because a parent will do nothing about a kid with a hammer trying to hammer my china cabinet.... My kids couldn’t stand that their toys had been tossed, jumped on, you name it... Reading this messages, I figure out that some of them will be invited only to a park or without parent, then I can set up rules.
As for your story, this parents will be not invited to my house again.

[codex57]

I agree with the others. Don't ever invite them back.

DW has a coworker I like. However, her kids are kind of a nightmare. I think most (if not all) the coworkers don't invite her to parties anymore just because they don't want her kids around theirs.