Interesting poopy diaper question...would you have said something?

[new_mom_mry]

What would you do if a friend came over to your house with her son (21 months old) and then admitted shortly thereafter that "oh, he pooped and needs to be changed" and then followed up with "I will change him in just a bit" allowing him to continue playing in the living room where the adults were seated (myself, DH, and of course my friend and our DS was playing with her DS nearby), etc. Right away when they came in I could smell something and the smell was bugging me the entire time my DS was playing with my friend's son...I finally had to diplomatically hint that she should change him by announcing to DH that our DS probably needed a new diaper (he didn't poop or anything and of course did not smell, but we didn't change him since his nap, so I used that as the justification). DH brought me a diaper and my friend finally got up and asked to be shown upstairs into DS's room where the changing table, etc. was. All in all, at least 30 min passed after she announced that her son needed to be changed, and I caught on to the smell from the moment they arrived which was at least 30 min before she made the announcement. I have a pretty sensitive sense of smell...

The irony is that after she changed him (DH had to go upstairs and help her because we could hear her DS's protests), she mentioned that he has some diaper rash which she noticed after he got home from daycare the other day, and how she applied DS's diaper rash cream to help soothe it. Ummmmm....if the kid has diaper rash, why then in particular would you wait THAT long to change him???????? If she was a very close girlfriend, I would have just said "hey girl, someone's kiddo is smelly," but we really don't know each other for very long and have only become friends a few months ago. I really, really like her though, and of course this incident will not alter our friendship in any way. I am sure that we'll continue inviting them over for playdates...but thought I would ask if others would have said something earlier if the smell was bothering them.

[gatorsmom]

If this is her first child, maybe she didn't realize that diaper rash is caused or exacerbated by exposure to poop.

[vonfirmath]

I don't know what I'd have done this time. But next time it happens, I'd have told her "no, no. Change him first then the kids can play" and showed her where the changing table is. She may have felt awkward walking in your front door and immediately changing the kid. (or maybe she was hoping one of you would volunteer to change?)

And note: If its a poopy diaper in her diaper bag its going to smell the same.

[new_mom_mry]

I don't know what I'd have done this time. But next time it happens, I'd have told her "no, no. Change him first then the kids can play" and showed her where the changing table is. She may have felt awkward walking in your front door and immediately changing the kid. (or maybe she was hoping one of you would volunteer to change?)

And note: If its a poopy diaper in her diaper bag its going to smell the same.

She actually didn't bring her diaper bag into the house for whatever reason! They might have accidentally forgot it at home (??) She asked us for something to feed to her son as his dinner, which I gladly provided. She also didn't have any diaper changing supplies on hand and used ours naturally in DS's room. I suppose there is a slight chance she didn't rush changing the diaper because she didn't have diapers/wipes?? Though if she didn't bat an eye to ask us to give her DS dinner, and then asked for diapering supplies, I doubt she is a shy person.....

[georgiegirl]

I hate it when people don't change their poopy kids immediately. I feel bad for the poor kids who are sitting/standing in a poopy diaper, and it stinks. It is awkward though.

I would have said, "the changing table is upstairs. There's plenty of wipes and diapers if you need them too."

[♥ms.pacman♥]

She actually didn't bring her diaper bag into the house for whatever reason! They might have accidentally forgot it at home (??) She asked us for something to feed to her son as his dinner, which I gladly provided. She also didn't have any diaper changing supplies on hand and used ours naturally in DS's room. I suppose there is a slight chance she didn't rush changing the diaper because she didn't have diapers/wipes?? Though if she didn't bat an eye to ask us to give her DS dinner, and then asked for diapering supplies, I doubt she is a shy person.....

eek, it sounds like she's pretty clueless (esp the part about not changing him right away when she knew he had a rash!) and you would have to drop obvious hints next time. not sure what i could say next time, maybe like PP said offer your changing table and dipes/wipes right away. If she didn't want to i would say, um, it really stinks, please do us all a favor and change him (sort of half- joking way).

BTW re: the issue about carrying a poopy diaper in a diaper bag...when changing poopy diapers (whether at my house or someone elses) i always dump the poop in the toilet. I do this at other people's house too (especially when they're using cloth diapers..i am so NOT carrying around poop for hours in my diaper bag, LOL). It really really really makes a difference in the stink afterwards....plus technically you are never supposed to dump solid waste in the trash anyway. One of my pet peeves is when someone else (sitter, grandparent, or whatever) comes over and changes a diaper and just tosses the whole thing (poop and all) in the trash can or the diaper genie. UGH. The diaper genie contains the smell but then whenever you open it to throw something else in, it REEKS like crazy. Please, poop goes in the *toilet!!* (ok i'll get off my soapbox now..hehe)

[HannaAddict]

I wouldn't sweat the small stuff, I honestly wouldn't think about it enough to be still thinking about it. She might have waited because her child might have acted up if immediately changed versus playing a bit as acclimated to the new surroundings. I don't see a problem and babies smell, sometimes even when there is no actual poop so your super sense of smell isn't an issue. Sorry, but I must be really mellow I guess.

[HannaAddict]

And sounds like she did forget her supplies. She's a guest so I would t expect her to bat an eye at food for a toddler. Not like she expects
filet and lobster, KWIM. As the host, I always offer and am happy to offer food etc. to guests.

[twowhat?]

I think I'd be grossed out by it too! Yuck. But I'm also sensitive to smells and if you KNOW your kid has pooped...wouldn't you want to change him right away? Maybe next time just say "Oh, no please make yourself at home right away! You are welcome to change him now before they play. I would hate for him to get a rash! Here, let me show you where you can go..."

But yeah - she sounds clueless!

[new_mom_mry]

hehe, thanks everyone for your feedback :) c'est la vie...since I really like the mom, I won't worry about this too much. although, next time I will encourage her to change him right away! I should also mention that she is 26 weeks pregnant, and they are in the middle of a move (only 45 min away, but still), so they are frantically searching for a place to live and for a new daycare for the boy--she must have had a lot on her mind!

[StantonHyde]

oh I had my daughter at a big xmas party and I knew she would throw a FIT if I changed her. So DH and I monitored to see if the smell got bad and even told a few people to let us know. Someone did and we decided by that time it was time to go home anyway.

I can't imagine going anywhere without a diaper bag when my kids were in that stage, though.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and move forward--we all have days we are discombobulated.

[new_mom_mry]

But yeah - she sounds clueless!

I love her to pieces, but yes...to her excuse, they have moved here from abroad, but they've been in the US for 6 years already. She constantly asks me questions about DS's toys/clothes, etc., i.e. "where do you buy all these things for him??" Mind you that they have moved from a very much so westernized country that has a great wealth of baby products. Her DH jokes though that she is completely clueless at times and has once accidentally added a few extra zeros to a tip when paying at a restaurant to only have paid $700 for a sandwich (he got a call about it from the restaurant manager afterwards--"did your wife mean to do that??") :) She is a highly educated woman though, just a little bit of a space cadet. Nevertheless, I feel a close bond with her and love hanging out together, especially for girls time without our kids!

[vonfirmath]

...If she can add a couple of extra 0s to a tip accidentally, I think that forgetting a diaper bag and forgetting her kids' diaper was poopy are absolutely in the scheme of reason!

[BabbyO]

Well, sounds like she may be a bit of a space cadet...but FWIW, I've been known to let DS go with a poopy diaper for 15-30 min, because he's told me he's not done pooping and is prone to constipation. He will also fight being changed until he is done.

That said, if we were in someone's home...I'd change his diaper right away regardless...because he's STINKY!!! I'd also insist on changing him right away with diaper rash....

[SnuggleBuggles]

eek, it sounds like she's pretty clueless (esp the part about not changing him right away when she knew he had a rash!) and you would have to drop obvious hints next time. not sure what i could say next time, maybe like PP said offer your changing table and dipes/wipes right away. If she didn't want to i would say, um, it really stinks, please do us all a favor and change him (sort of half- joking way).

BTW re: the issue about carrying a poopy diaper in a diaper bag...when changing poopy diapers (whether at my house or someone elses) i always dump the poop in the toilet. I do this at other people's house too (especially when they're using cloth diapers..i am so NOT carrying around poop for hours in my diaper bag, LOL). It really really really makes a difference in the stink afterwards....plus technically you are never supposed to dump solid waste in the trash anyway. One of my pet peeves is when someone else (sitter, grandparent, or whatever) comes over and changes a diaper and just tosses the whole thing (poop and all) in the trash can or the diaper genie. UGH. The diaper genie contains the smell but then whenever you open it to throw something else in, it REEKS like crazy. Please, poop goes in the *toilet!!* (ok i'll get off my soapbox now..hehe)

Sing it!! People think I'm whacko for suggesting the flushing. I know I used to think that when my mom suggested it. So glad I got over the yuck factor as it kept smell away and was better for the environment!

[new_mom_mry]

Sing it!! People think I'm whacko for suggesting the flushing. I know I used to think that when my mom suggested it. So glad I got over the yuck factor as it kept smell away and was better for the environment!

I think we will start doing that; hopefully then we won't have to empty out our genie as frequently as we do right now.

[KrisM]

Sing it!! People think I'm whacko for suggesting the flushing. I know I used to think that when my mom suggested it. So glad I got over the yuck factor as it kept smell away and was better for the environment!


I think we will start doing that; hopefully then we won't have to empty out our genie as frequently as we do right now.

I always flushed and just used the regular garbage can in the kitchen. Only rarely did it still smell enough for us to take it to the garage. It really is the best way to go.

[twowhat?]

Sing it!! People think I'm whacko for suggesting the flushing. I know I used to think that when my mom suggested it. So glad I got over the yuck factor as it kept smell away and was better for the environment!

We always did the flushing and it makes a HUGE difference! We always flushed once past the not-so-smelly BM poop phase whether we were using cloth or disposable (FWIW it's a LOT easier to dump poop out of a disposable diaper because it doesn't stick as much...then again poop is way more likely to leak out of a disposable diaper LOL...so just because the diaper is disposable doesn't mean the poop should be). The though of rolling poop up in a diaper and throwing it into a garbage bin grosses me out:) I'm definitely in the "poop belongs in the toilet" club...though we did make some exceptions (e.g. watery diarrhea).

[Tondi G]

I hate it when people don't change their poopy kids immediately. I feel bad for the poor kids who are sitting/standing in a poopy diaper, and it stinks. It is awkward though.

I would have said, "the changing table is upstairs. There's plenty of wipes and diapers if you need them too."

I would have done this ... let her know that the changing table upstairs is stocked and you can show her where it is if she likes.

when she mentioned the diaper rash I might have said that when my kid had a diaper rash we did a lot of diaper free time at home and made sure we changed diapers, especially poopy diapers, as fast as possible.

I can't stand it when people don't change their childrens stinky diapers right away when they realize their child needs a change. There is a mom at my DS's Tae Kwon Do class who does this with her almost 2 year old.... leaves him stinky running around cause she is too lazy to walk down to her car and change him. YUCK!