Does your 4 year old dress herself?

[Binkandabee]

As in physically put her own clothes on, not pick them out.

I'm at my wits end with DD#2. She whines and carries on every.single.morning about getting herself dressed. She wants me to do it and I don't want to, I think she is fully capable of getting herself dressed.

She used to dress herself even at 2, so I'm not sure what has happened these past few months, but it's getting old real quick. Just trying to judge whether my expectations are too high or not.

What in the world can I do to stop this morning madness? I'm almost to the point of telling her when it's time to go, we go, no matter if she's dressed or not.

[maestramommy]

Yes. But since your DD actually is able to, just not willing, not sure what to say. Once my kids get to that, "I want to do it!" they don't really go back. Except for eating. Sometimes they do that, "I want you to feeeed meeeeee." Nope. Feed yourself or don't eat.

I recognize that getting dressed is a different animal though. :hug5:

[crl]

I threatened to take ds to school in his pjs once. He could tell I meant it and he would have been embarrassed so he got dressed. Don't know if that would work for you or not as some kids would love to go in their pjs.

Catherine

[Momit]

My DS is almost 4 and has been dressing himself for maybe 6 months. There for a while he was doing it every morning when he first woke up, then lately he's been staying in his PJs until I ask him to get dressed. Sometimes he does it, sometimes he says he "can't" and asks for help. I guess the initial novelty of doing it himself wore off.

I do tend to choose polos or button shirts for him, and when he dresses himself he chooses his Thomas or Cars shirt (he has one of each) - I'm thinking he'll go back to doing it consistently himself because he wants to wear one of his favorite shirts. Or sometimes I lay out 2 choices the night before.

[amldaley]

We are in the same boat...learned at 2, refuses at 4.

[hillview]

DS is almost 5 but has been able to dress himself since age 3.5 -- there are days when he "wants help" and I usually do -- sometimes I delay and he does it himself. But usually he does it alone. DS1 was less inclined to dress himself til age 4.5.

[twowhat?]

Mine are almost 4, and they are capable of putting on stretchy knits (which really is all we have). As PP said - capable, but not always willing. They know the tags/labels go in the back. For bottoms they lay them flat on the ground, sit, and then put them on. For tops they pull them over their heads, rotate until tag/label is in the back, then work arms in one at a time.

For me the easiest way to teach was to lay the clothing flat on the ground. Lay pants front side up. Lay shirts front side down so they just pick the back hem and pull over the head.

For the unwillingness, I just dress them - it's just not worth the battle for me, mornings are hard enough.

eta: Is she into her clothes? Would something like "We can't buy any new clothes until you can be responsible with the ones you have and dress yourself" type of thing work?

[AnnieW625]

My DD1 who is now 6 was able to physically dress herself at 4 yrs. old. She wore a lot of knit tees, pants, and dresses. She still needed some help with jeans, and zippers and such.

[csnoop]

Yes, my soon to be 5 yrs old does dress herself. HOWEVER, she started dressing herself when we went on a Disney cruise earlier this year. Before that, it was a battle over what she would wear and getting her dress, i.e. she wants to wear shorts when it's 60 degree outside. On the cruise, she was super motivated to get out and do stuff that she just dress herself every morning. Since then, she has been dressing herself. She also knows that she can wear her PJs on Sat morning if she wishes too but on other days, she has to change. DH also got a weather app on our ipod touch. It tells you the weather forcast and shows different pictures (boys and girls) of what they can wear that day. I think that inspires her wardrobe selection...

CC

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yes, no troubled here.

[JBaxter]

I have boys and no they would stay naked till I put their clothes on. Jack is 3.5 and could care less about putting his clothes on. It was not a battle I chose to fight. I went in I got their clothes took their jammies off and put their clothes on. Took less that 5 minutes. The whining took much longer. I HATED to start a day with a fight it would blow mines whole morning attitude.

[wellyes]

Yes, DD can dress herself, though she pulls everything up from her feet (even tshirts). The only stubborness we have is her insistance on picking her own outfits. Which - I dont' care at all except she'd want long sleeves on warm days or other such problems. We fixed it by giving her a shortcut on the desktop of the computer where she can look up the weather every day. It is the ONLY thing she does on the computer (regular computer not ipad) with no help at all.

So our technique is to have her check if it's a hot day or a cold day or a rainy day, so she can pick outfits based on that. Maybe giving that sort of empowerment would help?

[KrisM]

Yes, DD can dress herself, though she pulls everything up from her feet (even tshirts). The only stubborness we have is her insistance on picking her own outfits. Which - I dont' care at all except she'd want long sleeves on warm days or other such problems. We fixed it by giving her a shortcut on the desktop of the computer where she can look up the weather every day. It is the ONLY thing she does on the computer (regular computer not ipad) with no help at all.

So our technique is to have her check if it's a hot day or a cold day or a rainy day, so she can pick outfits based on that. Maybe giving that sort of empowerment would help?

Do you know you can make a html document in word and use it to make a home page for your kids? After you make it up (we use pictures until they can read), you can make it a button on the top of IE. My browser has buttons with each of my kids' names on them. We update them as requested. It's been great. DS2 checks the weather, plays Thomas, PBS, and Disney on his own.


OP - yes my nearly 4 yo DS dresses himself. He's been doing it for at least a year. He can't always snap or button tops, and rarely can snap or button bottoms. Socks end up upside down at times. But, he's dressed :). We haven't had much refusal, really. No advice there.

[happymom]

DD also learned to dress herself at age 2, and then somewhere around age 3, she lost interest. Now, at 3 1/2, she has been dressing herself most mornings so far this summer. I leave out an outfit for her and she puts it on without me. However, there are some mornings that she is cranky or whatever and then I just dress her. It is definitely faster to just dress her than to start a whole fight!

[lalasmama]

At 4yo, DD was completely capable of dressing herself. However, as we all know, capable and willing are two VASTLY different things :) I think I assisted (ie, got the clothes on her) until she was in kindergarten, because, otherwise, she had no care to get dressed, and would have happily gone to daycare in pajamas :)

[123LuckyMom]

DH has been able to dress himself for a while, but in the past couple of weeks on some mornings he's wanted to pretend he's a baby and have me do it. He's 3.5, a new big brother, newly potty trained, and I'm re-injured again so less patient and less available due to the pain. I'm letting it slide. If he needs to be babied a bit, that's fine with me for now.

[lalasmama]

DH has been able to dress himself for a while, but in the past couple of weeks on some mornings he's wanted to pretend he's a baby and have me do it. He's 3.5, a new big brother, newly potty trained, and I'm re-injured again so less patient and less available due to the pain. I'm letting it slide. If he needs to be babied a bit, that's fine with me for now.

Sorry, totally had to laugh at this... You're a loving wife to deal with him wanting you to dress him.... and newly potty trained! :hysterical:

[123LuckyMom]

Yes! What a slip!!! Sometimes I think he's not properly potty trained at all. Who was the poster who complained about being the only one in her house who doesn't pee on the floor? That's sooo me!!!

[Beckylove]

We started a chore chart recently and getting dressed is one of DS's chores. I set out clothes I know he can handle, and if he does it within a reasonable time frame he gets his sticker. If not, I step in and do it, usually so we aren't late getting somewhere, but he does not get his sticker that day.

[wifecat]

Sorry, totally had to laugh at this... You're a loving wife to deal with him wanting you to dress him.... and newly potty trained! :hysterical:

I'm totally dying reading this. EXACTLY what I needed tonight. :hysterical:

[Pyrodjm]

She can and does dress herself when we have no time constraints. I put her clothes on before school though. She is a bear in the morning and I don't wake up mentally until around 10am and she needs to be at school before 9. We are NOT morning people. I settle for he compliance during our morning dressing routine.

[kozachka]

I have boys and no they would stay naked till I put their clothes on. Jack is 3.5 and could care less about putting his clothes on. It was not a battle I chose to fight. I went in I got their clothes took their jammies off and put their clothes on. Took less that 5 minutes. The whining took much longer. I HATED to start a day with a fight it would blow mines whole morning attitude.

:yeahthat: or DS would happily stay in PJs for the entire day. I am not a morning person, and once DS was in daycare/preschool neither was he, so I put the clothes on him, which allowed both of us to sleep just a tiny bit longer.

[AngelaS]

Yes. Mine did. I would lay their pants on the floor so that all they had to do was sit down and stick their feet in. I would put their shirt face down on the bed so they were easy to slip on. I would help with socks if necessary.

I would tend to give them their clothes as I went to get dressed and tell the they had five minutes to get dressed or to race me. That was successful often. If it came down to them refusing, then there were consequences for not obeying mommy.

[sidmand]

My DD can and will get dressed, until she won't. Some days it's fine. She got dressed this morning and even snapped and zipped her pants!

And then tomorrow she'll lay there and say, "I need help getting dressed." Um, no you don't.

Some days she refuses to even attempt. And some days she's fully dressed before I even get downstairs (we lay both DCs clothes out). I think it helps that DS knows he has to get dressed and has been (fairly) good about doing it first thing. She likes to do whatever he does.

But I haven't come up with a good response when she refuses to even attempt what I know she can do (like underwear or things without buttons that she could just pull on!). And if I told her she'd stay in her PJs all day she'd be thrilled!