Quiet days in marriage :/

[blondflava]

Do they happen often in your case? Not happen at all? Mean communication between partners is lacking? It's day no. 2 of me not talking to DH. Long story short, we had a a long talk about possibility of another child (I posted about it a while ago). He's definitely no on the matter, honestly I don't think it'll change.. Ok.. I got sad but told him I need time to get over my feelings, mull everything over .. That was on Saturday. Sunday we kind of stayed out of each others way, Monday the same. Monday night, he tells me he wants to drop off his son at work (his shift starts at midnight) , to see where he works and all that.. So they leave at 9 PM. I put Dd to bed and then fall asleep, but when I wake up at 2 (two!) AM, he's not home.. I got panicked a bit, was sure something happened, checked my phone, nothing.. So I call DH, only for him to answer after 8-9 rings with 'WHAT??', turned out he stayed and chatted for hours and then went to Dunkin Donuts.. I lost it, I got so mad, what..was..he..thinking? At least have the courtesy to text me or something! I said 'How would you feel if I disappeared for the middle of the night like that without a word?' when he got back few minutes later I told him I was too mad to even talk to him.. Ignored him Tuesday night, went to run errands. It just feels like he doesn't give a crap sometimes...aaaaargh :(((.
Right now I feel mad, hurt, feel like my feelings don't count.. It's not a good place to be..

[twowhat?]

Ugh. Sorry:( I'd be mad, hurt, and sad too. Hope you're able to work it out soon.

[arivecchi]

I'm sorry. My DH loves to pull the disappearing act too. Maybe write him a note you can leave for him when you leave for work letting him know why you are hurt and then follow up with a conversation when you have calmed down?

[wellyes]

I'm so sorry. What a perfect storm.

When I was in a place like that, felt like DH & I had nothing to say to each other, I downloaded this book http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342020000&sr=1-1&keywords=seven+principles. It helped. It confirmed my observation that sometimes a little time and space helps. Don't talk when you're both too furious to hear each other.

[liz]

I am sorry. I hope you are able to have a good heart-to-heart talk and are able to get to a better place soon :hug:

[Still-in-Shock]

Like welleyes said, time and space will help. Also keep in mind that what seems normal to him may not be to you and vice versa.

Most men will try to avoid a heart to heart talk, because they think it means that they will be taken to task for something they did wrong. So when you do get to talk, you might focus on what you expect and how you want some kind of communication. Don't be surprised if he tells you that since you wanted time, he was just doing what you asked. When a man needs time, he usually just wants to be alone. He may have thought that's what you wanted!