How do I tell DS1....

[BabbyO]

...that he won't be going to our much loved DCP anymore?

Our sitter has been watching DS1 FT since he was 3 mos old. He is a part of their family, and they are a part of ours for the last 3 years. Late last year she had to have surgery on her foot and we had to cut back the days from 5 days/week to 2 days/week. A few months ago she started feeling strong enough to transition to 3 days/week. When we had to cut back we started going to a center.

This afternoon she called to let us know that she can't watch the kids anymore. This was a VERY difficult decision for her, but for the sake of her family, it is the right thing to do, and while it is difficult for our family, we support her 100%.

We will likely transition FT to the center as we've been very happy with them. The cost will be difficult, but we will figure it out.

While DS2 has done very well at the center, DS1 has always asked to go to the sitters house on daycare days. When we pick him off he's always having fun, and the teachers say that he does well for the most part (we've had a few behavior issues recently, but they've been minor).

So my dilemma is How do I tell DS1 we aren't going to the sitter's anymore? He's 3 yo. He still gets frustrated that I go to work when the sitter stays home with her kids (has asked me to stay home from work like sitter does). This is the decision is the right one and for the right reasons...it is going to hurt us all to a degree, but DS1 is going to take is hardest.

We will try to get together with their family, but will be a far cry from 5 days/week, or even 2 or 3 days, all day with her family.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My heart is breaking for DS1.

[LMPC]

Wow, what a tough situation for everyone involved. I think it's really hard when little ones are involved with loss. I would just keep it simple and truthful. This is why Ms. X isn't going to be able to watch kids anymore. She's sad about it. I'm sad about it. It's okay to be sad. ....you get the picture. I also think a transitional object might be helpful. Maybe have him make something for her. Take a picture of the two of them together. Just be open and honest. All the benefits of having her in his life will ultimately outweigh this potentially rough period. :hug:

[BabbyO]

Wow, what a tough situation for everyone involved. I think it's really hard when little ones are involved with loss. I would just keep it simple and truthful. This is why Ms. X isn't going to be able to watch kids anymore. She's sad about it. I'm sad about it. It's okay to be sad. ....you get the picture. I also think a transitional object might be helpful. Maybe have him make something for her. Take a picture of the two of them together. Just be open and honest. All the benefits of having her in his life will ultimately outweigh this potentially rough period. :hug:

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I really need them. I'm just sick over the situation. It was especially hard this morning when he asked where we were going, and when I said he'd be at the sitters, he was SO happy. This is going to be SO hard.

[MamaKath]

Wow, what a tough situation for everyone involved. I think it's really hard when little ones are involved with loss. I would just keep it simple and truthful. This is why Ms. X isn't going to be able to watch kids anymore. She's sad about it. I'm sad about it. It's okay to be sad. ....you get the picture. I also think a transitional object might be helpful. Maybe have him make something for her. Take a picture of the two of them together. Just be open and honest. All the benefits of having her in his life will ultimately outweigh this potentially rough period. :hug:
:yeahthat:
I might also see if the sitter would be willing to keep in touch specifically with ds in any other way- drop a note, be fb friends with you so you can send pics or messages, meet up once every couple months for park or ice-cream or whatever. Some kids need to know this really isn't a forever goodbye even if they can't be in that daycare relationship.

[BabbyO]

:yeahthat:
I might also see if the sitter would be willing to keep in touch specifically with ds in any other way- drop a note, be fb friends with you so you can send pics or messages, meet up once every couple months for park or ice-cream or whatever. Some kids need to know this really isn't a forever goodbye even if they can't be in that daycare relationship.

We're planning to do this. Truly they are like family to us...which is why it is SO difficult all the way around.

I just know my little man will be sad every morning when he asks where he's going...and I say "school" instead of "H's house."

[MamaSnoo]

Wow, what a tough situation for everyone involved. I think it's really hard when little ones are involved with loss. I would just keep it simple and truthful. This is why Ms. X isn't going to be able to watch kids anymore. She's sad about it. I'm sad about it. It's okay to be sad. ....you get the picture. I also think a transitional object might be helpful. Maybe have him make something for her. Take a picture of the two of them together. Just be open and honest. All the benefits of having her in his life will ultimately outweigh this potentially rough period. :hug:

I think this is great advice. We were worried about DD making a similar transition at age 3, but she actually accepted it way better than I expected.