Should we drive separately to wedding tonight?

[ourbabygirl]

Need to leave in an hour and a half for a wedding tonight... it's about 40 minutes away; wedding starts at 6, dinner & dancing to follow, but the problem is that DS (age 1.5) usually goes to bed by 7. DD (3.5) goes to bed by 7:30, but she could probably stay up til 8:30 and be o.k., just yawning (she stopped her afternoon nap months ago).
At first I thought DH should drive separately and take DS home around 7:30 (so still stretching it a bit, and he would still be going to bed at least an hour and a half past his bedtime. I'd like to stay as long as I can since it's a family wedding on my side, and I don't see these people very often (once a year or so).
But now I'm wondering if it's a waste of time and resources (plus we have to pay for parking for each car since wedding is downtown). Maybe we should stay as long as we possibly can, until our kids completely melt down? (DS would be the first to go, I'm sure).
We don't have any baby-sitters, and I considered renting a hotel room there for the night, but it would have been expensive and wouldn't have accomplished much other than saving the drive time at night.

What would you do?

Thanks in advance for your input!

[wellyes]

I'd go alone.

[AnnieW625]

I voted take one car. IME kids love weddings because there is music and dancing (esp. if there are other kids as well) and lots of food, and cake and all that fun stuff. I would take the kids and plus there will be family around as well to help you with them and pass them around and such. I don't worry about bed times when there are special nights out. I think a nice compromise would be to stay until at least 9 pm.

You might also call a local hotel or where the wedding is being held at (if it is a hotel) and see if they have any cheap rooms.

[maydaymommy]

I say 2 cars! Give yourself longer to enjoy it.

[ourbabygirl]

Well, we're definitely taking the kids; everyone else is bringing their kids, and I can't leave DH home with them; it would look really bad and they would have fun around their cousins.
Looks like the poll is pretty even, so we'll take a bit longer to decide. :) Any other thoughts, please keep 'em coming!

[sarahsthreads]

I don't know how to vote. I'd take one car. DH would insist on two. He's much more of a stickler for keeping the kids to a reasonable bedtime than I am (for special/non-recurring events like a wedding, otherwise I'm all about bedtimes.)

If you brought in a stroller, would DS just crash and sleep in it eventually? Maybe if one of you walked him around in it around his bedtime? For us that would have worked for DD1. DD2 has always been way too light a sleeper.

Sarah :)

[mmsmom]

Your DC will probably surprise you and be fine staying up much later than usual, especially with all of the activity around. I would bring PJ's for both of them & a stroller for DS. Put his PJ's on when he seems tired & see if you can get him to sleep in the stroller then park him in a corner. Stay as long as DD will last then put her in PJ's for drive home.

I am usually a big stickler for routines and bedtimes but I would absolutely make an exception for a family wedding.

Kind of late for this but if there is close family staying in the hotel and a teenager who is bored at the wedding you could put them to bed in the hotel, pay the teenager to stay w/ them then move them to car when you are ready to leave.

[Blue Hydrangea]

Your DC will probably surprise you and be fine staying up much later than usual, especially with all of the activity around. I would bring PJ's for both of them & a stroller for DS. Put his PJ's on when he seems tired & see if you can get him to sleep in the stroller then park him in a corner. Stay as long as DD will last then put her in PJ's for drive home.

I am usually a big stickler for routines and bedtimes but I would absolutely make an exception for a family wedding.

:yeahthat:
Exactly what I would have written, good luck!

[ourbabygirl]

Thanks, Everyone. Well, actually, one of my siblings is having their nanny stay in a room in a nearby hotel, but our kids don't do well with baby-sitters, and won't fall asleep for anyone but us. I wish our kids would fall asleep in a stroller; they've never done that, but maybe tonight would be different?

I'm fine with them going to bed later, it's just that I don't want them melting down super early so we'd have to leave way earlier than everyone else (including my siblings, whose kids are the same ages but handle staying up better ;)).

[crl]

I think this depends on your kids. My daughter, up until about 24 months, completely melted down if it was past her bedtime. We are talking screaming and inconsolable. I have seen other people's kids be fine, just a little grumpy. If you think you are likely to have a meltdown on your hands, I'd take two cars.

Catherine

[wellyes]

Last time I took a little toddler to a wedding, the meltdown happened mid-toast. I was trying to keep her quiet because it was a really moving moment..... the maid of honor toasting her sister, the bride. My attempts at shushing backfired. Just a warning. If you have kids there, I'd whisk them out of the way when the big moments start. Not good to draw attention from where it belongs, on the happy couple.

[Binkandabee]

I'd take two cars, but then still let the kids stay up as late as they can. Only use the second car if a meltdown actually happens. Kind of use the 2nd car as insurance!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Routines are fine and dandy but family weddings are a good exception. Go in 1 car. The kids will be fine. Eta- id totally do the sitter option. Kids fussy of won't sleep? Not your problem- that's why you're paying someone. :). Can you at least boom a room so if dh needs to bail, he can take ttd kids to bed and you can stroll in when done? You mention it being in a city so I'm assuming there are rooms and options.

[elektra]

DH and I would take two cars. It's what we do for family parties. He always wants to stay and I am always wanting to leave. The kids melt down every time we stay late. He never learns!
I am pretty flexible with staying up late too- I want my kids to have good sleep but there is life to be lived as well.
So I am not saying to leave at 6:30 but you should be able to have fun with your family, and not have to worry about leaving early in one just so your kids can get to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour, or to care for them if they are in melt down mode already. I would take two cars and have DH aim to leave with the kids around 8 or so. And I would actually probably arrange for a crash pad if I was drinking too, and drive home in the morning by myself.

[okinawama]

I have found that for us it's not just the night of the event that's affected, my kids are so sensitive to becoming overtired that I'm trying for days after to clean up all of sleep hiccups that occur because of that one night. For us, we'd drive two cars and wouldn't hesitate to leave early. What did you end up doing?

[ourbabygirl]

Well, we're back! :) We survived; took one car. Wedding was supposed to start at 6; started a bit late, then didn't end til around 7... kids ran around and had a blast with their cousins during the reception... unfortunately, our dinners didn't come until 9:15, when we decided to leave (by then DS was melting down every time I left him). Luckily the kids got their meals around 8 or 8:30, and even though I'd been feeding them off and on since about 5 (when we usually eat at home), they chowed down when their meals came.
Kids did *suprisingly* well and stayed up way later than they ever have (changed them into jammies in the parking ramp), and didn't get home til probably 10. Went to bed fine, and it's 10:40 and I'm beat.
There were some hard times but nothing unsurmountable; if dinner would've come earlier, we could've left and it wouldn't have been much of a problem.

*Hoping* they'll sleep later tomorrow, but I'll bet they're still up by 6 or 7, like usual. ;)