Sleep is getting worse, not better!

[BDKmom]

DD is now 11 weeks old. Her night time sleep is all over the place. Thursday night, she slept 12 AM to 5:30 AM. Friday night 12-4:30, Sat night 12-3:30, and last night she slept 12:30 AM to 2:30 AM, 3:10 to 3:50, and 5:20-5:45. She sleeps in her crib in her room. She most often falls asleep nursing, but sometimes finishes nursing and stays awake until we rock her to sleep (usually takes 10-30 minutes). She will not take a pacifier. I started using a sleep sheep for noise on Thursday night, as she was falling asleep well to the hairdryer last week. I don't know that it has made any difference. Usually after her first long period of sleep, however long that lasts, I end up cosleeping just because I'm too exhausted to try to coax her back to sleep (it usually takes a lot more effort to get her down after that first stretch).

Basically, we still have no consistancy in how much sleep we will get. Earlier last week she was sleeping 2 AM - 8 or 9 AM, so I know that she has the ability to go 6-8 hours. I don't see any signs of any medical issues--she spits up occasionally, but nothing that makes me think she has severe or painful reflux. She sleeps pretty well during the day in the swing. She had her 2 month check up Friday, and is growing well with no issues. I discussed the 2 AM bed time with the pedi, and her suggestion for that was to make sure she ate every 2.5 to 3 hours during the day, and wake her up in the morning to nurse before I go to work (I leave the house at 7:30, so when she was sleeping 2-9, I just pumped and left the milk for when she got up). Pedi says that waking her up will help her body know when morning starts, so as to hopefully shift her night time sleep back. TBH, this weekend it was difficult to do this because I was so worn out from lack of sleep last week.

FWIW, this is my second week back to work, and I'm sure I'm trying to rush things in the sleep department because it is so hard to get up and go in the mornings after only 3-4 hours of sleep. DH tries to help out, but often she wants to nurse, so I have to be the one up with her.

I don't know what I'm looking to you all for---advice, commiseration, reassurance that this will get better? Any tips or thoughts are appreciated. I just want to get her on a more regular schedule. Is it too early to sleep train? Letting her cry is difficult with a sleeping 2 yr old across the hall. I have no experience with these issues because DS slept like a champ from 9 weeks on. Sorry for the rambling essay...I just am so tired and frustrated. I thought things would be getting better around this time, and instead they seem to be getting worse...

[BabyBearsMom]

I'm sorry, I know this is hard, but I think at 11 weeks they don't really have a sleep schedule and every night is different. That was my experience with both girls. With DD1 we ended up night weaning her at 4.5 months and sleep training her at 6 months so we could get some rest. With DD2, I bring her into bed after she does her first long stretch of sleep. I nurse her lying on my side and kind of doze while she eats. When she falls asleep, I move her to the co-sleeper I have attached to my bed. This really minimizes the amount of time I spend awake with her. I also make DH get her from the bedroom, so I just have to lay in bed and nurse. I don't plan on sleep training DD2 at the moment because she goes to sleep very easily, so no need to go through the whole Ferber process.

[BDKmom]

I'm sorry, I know this is hard, but I think at 11 weeks they don't really have a sleep schedule and every night is different.

This is what I was afraid everyone would say. :)

DS was SO easy when it came to sleep. As first time parents, we were all into schedules and sleep training, but we didn't even really have to work at it with him. Now, second time around, I don't really know what "normal" or "typical" is, and don't really have the time or energy to read up on every little thing like I did with DS. So I don't really even know what is reasonable to expect. I don't want to struggle with this if a little sleep training is all she needs, but I don't want to bang my head if it's still to early for sleep training to work. I guess I will just give it a little more time. I'm really stressed out, though, b/c DH has to be out of town two nights this week, so I will be handling it all by myself. I could use some sleep mojo around my house!

[123LuckyMom]

I'm so sorry you're struggling! Sleep training is ill advised before six months. Some have tried it as early as 4 months, but definitely not at 11 weeks. Sleep deprivation is the worst, and I really feel for you, but I think if you make sure she gets plenty of food and some nap time in the day, there's not much you can do. I would not, at this age, discourage napping in hopes of getting more night time sleep. In my experience, sleep begets sleep, so good naps help good nights. I hope you get more sleep soon!!!

[BDKmom]

I would not, at this age, discourage napping in hopes of getting more night time sleep. In my experience, sleep begets sleep, so good naps help good nights.

I definitely know this to be true. My main concern is that she not have her days and nights mixed up, and that she is eating enough during the day to sustain her through the night. But I am hesitant to wake her during the day, even if she has been asleep for 3+ hours. I just feel like her body knows when she needs to sleep. But I don't think her internal clock is regulated yet, so it makes for LONG nights!

[queenmama]

Commiseration!!!

DD is almost 16 weeks and her "patterns" can still be all over the place. She started STTN (not really, she was still waking to nurse halfway) but then a couple of nights she'd want to stay awake at that halfway point. Her naps during the day were always 40 minutes, with one longer nap of about 2.5 hours, but she's been going without the long stretch lately. She'll be 4 months on the 25th and I know they have a regression, it's just sooo frustrating that we were finally seeing a pattern (I keep track of all feedings, sleeps, and diaper changes), and POOF, it's not such a pattern on any given day.

The worst part? Even though she is going back to sleep after her MOTN feeding, I'm not. I think my sleep has just been so screwed up since she was born, I'm not used to sleeping anymore. It sucks. And I'm exhausted all.the.time.

[BDKmom]

Definitely not glad you are going through this, but glad it's not just me/my DD.



The worst part? Even though she is going back to sleep after her MOTN feeding, I'm not. I think my sleep has just been so screwed up since she was born, I'm not used to sleeping anymore. It sucks. And I'm exhausted all.the.time.

I end up spending half of the time I could be sleeping worrying about how long she is going to sleep, what if I can't get back to sleep, and how long I have until I have to be up for work. It's the worst!

[Liziz]

You mentioned she naps in her swing...would you consider letting her sleep in her swing at night? I know people have varying opinions of that, but it saved us when I went back to work (at 11 weeks). We would try to get her down in the crib/put her back to sleep in the crib, but on the nights when she just wouldn't fall asleep again, we'd have her sleep in the swing. She fell asleep better, and stayed asleep better and longer. Sometimes we would leave it on low, and sometimes it wouldn't even be on, but DD just slept much better in there at that stage.

[Melaine]

It's kind of late in the game but we love the FP rock 'n play sleeper. I really think it helps DS sleep. My Target had them on clearance.

Definitely commisseration. Things have gotten better though and they got better fast (at least night time sleep). He went from waking up 3 times a night to 1 time almost over night. This was probably about a month ago and he is 16 weeks now. Daytime sleep is still a mess.

[mctlaw]

Hugs! My DS2 (10 weeks) is an easy baby but not a great nighttime sleeper yet. He co-sleeps for usually about 1/2 the night so I can get some sleep, for some reason he will not agree to be put down when I need to go to bed. I then I am able to transfer him to the Rock n Play. I only get decent sleep after that as I don't do well with co-sleeping but it's better than the frustration of numerous unsuccessful put-downs. So I'm right there with ya!

[Sopamanda]

My dd is nearly 5 months old. Struggling with reflux, the poor thing wakes every 2 hours at night to eat. Insult to injury? We have no family here to help. Hope things get better, I understand!

[BDKmom]

So, thankfully, she actually had a great night last night. DH took the first shift, so I went to bed at 9:30, thinking I would get up around 11:30 or 12 for the next shift. About 11:30 I woke up and heard DH in our bathroom, but didn't hear the baby. When he came to bed he said she was asleep. He fed her expressed BM and he said after her usual amount she was still hungry, so he gave her an extra 1.5 ounces. Then she went down pretty easily. This was a miracle in itself, as we usually have to struggle to get her down and it doesn't normally happen until between 12:30 and 2. I assumed she would wake up after a couple of hours like she normally does, but my alarm woke me up at 6 AM! She slept until 6:30! I know she will have more tough nights still, but it makes life so much better to have actually gotten 8.5 hours of sleep last night. It does make me wonder if she is getting enough to eat during the evening hours. Maybe I will try supplimenting her nursing with an ounce or two of expressed milk. She tends to doze off while nursing a good bit during that 7-11 time frame, usually because she doesn't sleep much otherwise after about 6 PM.

As for her sleeping in the swing, she does well with that during the day, but in the evenings she wails when I try to even put her in it for a bit so that I don't have to hold her. I don't know why she fights sleep so much in those evening hours.

Here's hoping we are turning a corner, but even if not, it gives me hope that we will one day sleep again!

[Melaine]

Yay! We had a few "flukes" like that that eventually led to a pattern. Good luck!