Can I let her babysit?

[maydaymommy]

My 12 year old cousin will be staying with us overnight before we depart to meet my parents down the shore for a vacation. She's coming with us to the beach to have some fun and to help/play with our two boys.

DH & I were just invited to the bris (Jewish ceremony) for the new baby of close friends early in the morning of the day we leave. I would really like for us to go, I would rather not only one of us go.

If it were just my boys at home, I would not hesitate to try to get a sitter for a few hours. I think it may be weird (and unnecessary?) to hire someone with a 12 year old here as well.

We will be at our friends' house which is 8 minutes away from our own. We will leave at about 9:15 and be back no later than 11, much possibly earlier.

Can I leave the 12 year old at home as a babysitter of the boys (5 and almost 3) for two hours? She is not immature and definitely more responsible than a typical 12 year old should have to be, due to difficult family situations (divorce, death of a parent).

What do you think?

[BabyBearsMom]

THe mom in me says 12 is young. But when I was 12 I was definitely babysitting other people's kids. Do you have a trusted neighbor who might be able to pop her head in once or twice to make sure everything is going okay?

[o_mom]

For a 3 yo and 5 yo, I would be fine with that.

[ahisma]

My DD is 13 and was babysitting her brothers (ironically, then 3 and 5) when she was 12. Many of her friends were babysitting then too.

We didn't go to out of town shows or anything, but staying nearby was fine. We never had an issue. It helped knowing that BIL was across the street, but she never needed to call on them, except for one time when she couldn't find a diaper and went there to borrow one.

I think I'd ask her parents for their take on it, they know her responsibility levels well. If they think she's ready for it, I'd go for it - especially since you'll be really close.

[lhafer]

I was babysitting at 12, and have hired a 12 year old to watch my DD1 (before DD2 was born). DD1 was 2 years old at the time. That was over 4 years ago. She's a beloved sitter for us now.

If you are comfortable with it, then I say go for it.

[doberbrat]

I'd do it. Just call once in a while to see how its going. The reality is that you could probably find a movie to occupy all 3 for at least 1/2 that length of time if not more.

TV isnt my preferred babysitter but it might be a good way to lessen the anxiety if you know they're all parked on the couch.

[mikeys_mom]

My 12 year old nephew has babysat for my 4 kids for an hour or two during the day. He has taken a babysitting course but for me it really wasn't the make-it-or-break-it, just an added bonus.
My SIL, whom I trust, felt he'd be fine so I was ok with it.

If you trust your cousin, and she is comfortable with it, then I think it's totally fine.

[pinkmomagain]

I think it's fine, but I would definitely set them up for success (ie. TV, movie, fun activity/toys out, kids well fed and rested).

[AnnieW625]

THe mom in me says 12 is young. But when I was 12 I was definitely babysitting other people's kids. Do you have a trusted neighbor who might be able to pop her head in once or twice to make sure everything is going okay?

:yeahthat: I was babysitting at this age, but the kids were next door, and I knew I could go to anyone of my neighbors in our culdesac if something was wrong or I needed emergency help if for some reason my mom was gone at the same time.

If it was just the 5 yr. old I would be okay with it, but it is having the 3 yr. old there as well that makes me a bit nervous.

[Melaine]

It totally depends on how well I know the 12 year old. At 12 I was great and experienced at babysitting.

[TwinFoxes]

For me it would depend on if she was experienced babysitting. At 12 I had never baby sat. I wouldn't know what to do if say, one was having a throwing up at the same time one of them was climbing up onto a bookcase. I think a lot of 12 years old would be totally fine though.

[maydaymommy]

Really good points! 12 sounds young to me, but I started babysitting by then.

It would make me much more comfortable if there were someone to pop in. I could ask a family friend to do that.

My big concern is definitely the 3 year old. He's our loose cannon!
5 year old is very self-sufficient & reasonable.

I will check in w/ her & her dad to see what they think.

Thanks so much for all the advice.

[mom_hanna]

Our regular babysitter is 12 - she started babysitting for us at 11 when our kids were 4 and 6. I think if you trust her and it sounds like she is very mature, then why not?

[erosenst]

I was baby sitting at 12. An hour and a half isn't that long, and as others have said a movie (and maybe a 'treat') will be long enough to occupy them.

Having said that - make sure to check with her *and* her dad. One of my nieces was never really into staying with DD. Her mom kept pushing it. When DN was 17, and DD was 4, we let her sit one evening. Her mom was home, a block away. It wasn't terrible/DD was safe - but DN made a couple of bad judgment calls, including saying DD was asleep in bed when she was very very clearly not. (I had texted because I was uneasy; had I known, I could have given DN some strategies that would have been much more successful than what SIL suggested that most clearly didn't work.)

In hindsight, DN was never comfortable with DD, and we made a bad choice. Had we asked her, rather than going on SIL's word, we likely would have made a better one. (Conversely, we left DD for a couple of hours one evening with another niece, who was 16 at the time, when DD was 6 wks old. DN was totally comfortable, as was I. )