If you were given a big chunk of money right now, how would you invest it?

[gatorsmom]

I'm trying to find a smart way to invest my dad's inheritence. DH thinks I should invest it in his company but my gut says that feels like putting all my eggs in one basket. I'm trying to make the decisions myself . I'm not good at managing money and DH is a whiz. He keeps telling me to just let him handle it but upon the advice of te wise BBB mans, I'm trying to manage it myself. But I need a little help.

WWYD?

ETA: we do have debt but it is managed debt as DH calls it. So I don't need to pay it down. I'd really just like to put this money into something safe for our retirement because I don't feel we are saving enough in that area.

[BillK]

Depending on the amount - I think I'd be getting advice from a financial advisor personally.

[gatorsmom]

Depending on the amount - I think I'd be getting advice from a financial advisor personally.

Oh, I definitely will. It's just that I thought there are some wise and resourceful parents here who might have some ideas I can consider before seeing a planner. The BBB is a wealth of info!

WWYD with the money, Bill?

[crl]

How is your and Dh's money currently invested? I am NOT an expert at all. But if most of your mowny is tied up in one place, I would try to diversify. do you have any money in the stock market? Any in real estate? If it is a substantial chunk of money, I would try to find a reputable financial advisor to help make a plan for investing it.

Catherine

[gatorsmom]

How is your and Dh's money currently invested? I am NOT an expert at all. But if most of your mowny is tied up in one place, I would try to diversify. do you have any money in the stock market? Any in real estate? If it is a substantial chunk of money, I would try to find a reputable financial advisor to help make a plan for investing it.

Catherine

well, I inherited half of his IRAs which are invested already and are being managed. Dad hadn't retired yet so he didn't tap any of those funds. He died pretty young. But I also have a chunk of cash that was left over from the sale of his house as well as his savings and checking accounts. It's the cash I don't know what to do with.

Oops, just reread your quote. DH and I are pretty diversifyed already in real estate and the stock market.

[BillK]

Oh, I definitely will. It's just that I thought there are some wise and resourceful parents here who might have some ideas I can consider before seeing a planner. The BBB is a wealth of info!

WWYD with the money, Bill?

Depending on the amount I'd probably pay off our mortgage that only has about 2.5 years left - and possibly a couple small home equity loans we took out for our garage and remodel project.

If it was a LOT (like over $100k) I'd be visiting the financial guy my dad uses since we don't have enough money to have our own "financial guy". ;)

[brittone2]

I would see an independent, fee-based financial planner before deciding.

[sste]

Do NOT invest in your husband's business . . . your husband makes money in part from leverage and non-diversification. That pendulum can swing both ways - - exactly what you are thinking.

Given that your goal is retirement, you don't sound excited about actively managing your funds (I am not either and there is evidence that passive types do better in the market anyway), I would do this:
https://personal.vanguard.com/us/funds/vanguard/TargetRetirementList

I just guessed at your retirement age. They have funds for every five year period. Vanguard will invest in a range of index funds (Index funds are low cost, enormously diversified funds that span the stock market in terms of the stocks they buy) and bonds. Over time Vanguard will automatically shift more into a bond index for you. You pay a little more than if you did this on your own but its worth it for someone in your position and still less than the full cost brokerages and many actively managed funds.

I would also see a fee-based financial planner. A normal financial planner is going to be very likely to hawk insurance and funds to you that they rec a commission for. The fee-based financial planner may have some suggestions about whether, for example, you should put some of the money in an IRA (if you are eligible based on income).

HTH. :)

[gatorsmom]

I would see an independent, fee-based financial planner before deciding.

You guys are no fun! Yes, I'll see a financial planner for sure but I thought you could say, "buy Apple stock right now because it's so hot!" or "the economy is going to crash soon, all the prophets say so, buy gold coins!".

[janine]

I'm trying to find a smart way to invest my dad's inheritence. DH thinks I should invest it in his company but my gut says that feels like putting all my eggs in one basket. I'm trying to make the decisions myself . I'm not good at managing money and DH is a whiz. He keeps telling me to just let him handle it but upon the advice of te wise BBB mans, I'm trying to manage it myself. But I need a little help.

WWYD?

ETA: we do have debt but it is managed debt as DH calls it. So I don't need to pay it down. I'd really just like to put this money into something safe for our retirement because I don't feel we are saving enough in that area.

Agree depends on the amount, since you say sizeable, I'll make some assumptions. What do you mean by managed debt though? If your only debt is the mortgage and it's at a low rate as many now have, I personally would not pay it off. What do do with it depends on what you are saving for? College, rainy day, or if that's taken care of, is this pure investmennt.

Conservative approach - mutual funds, index funds with cash in money market or savings for emergency (if you do not have this now)..

More aggressive - diversified portfolio, possibly real estate.

Lot of if's here - talk to a professional is good advice. Investing in your DH's company though is risky - maybe 50% if you really have faith in it (I'm assuming it's his own company, like a start up?).

[gatorsmom]

Do NOT invest in your husband's business . . . your husband makes money in part from leverage and non-diversification. That pendulum can swing both ways - - exactly what you are thinking.

Given that your goal is retirement, you don't sound excited about actively managing your funds (I am not either and there is evidence that passive types do better in the market anyway), I would do this:
https://personal.vanguard.com/us/funds/vanguard/TargetRetirementList

I just guessed at your retirement age. They have funds for every five year period. Vanguard will invest in a range of index funds (Index funds are low cost, enormously diversified funds that span the stock market in terms of the stocks they buy) and bonds. Over time Vanguard will automatically shift more into a bond index for you. You pay a little more than if you did this on your own but its worth it for someone in your position and still less than the full cost brokerages and many actively managed funds.

I would also see a fee-based financial planner. A normal financial planner is going to be very likely to hawk insurance and funds to you that they rec a commission for. The fee-based financial planner may have some suggestions about whether, for example, you should put some of the money in an IRA (if you are eligible based on income).

HTH. :)
It does help, thank you. Glad to see you back! Hope things are going ok for you.

[brittone2]

You guys are no fun! Yes, I'll see a financial planner for sure but I thought you could say, "buy Apple stock right now because it's so hot!" or "the economy is going to crash soon, all the prophets say so, buy gold coins!".
Well, that's my shorthand way of saying I have no idea what your other investments are really like. Usually professionals recommend different ratios of stocks to bonds depending on how close you are to retirement, as I'm sure you know. What the right mix looks like depends on many things. eta: there's also tax implications and so forth to think through...college accounts, tax implications of various retirement investments.

I think that is you want to be more conservative, that's a legitimate choice and you should run through how to define "conservative" investments with your financial planner. You obviously want to balance the potential for growth with your desire to have more conservative investments.

[karstmama]

i would perhaps put some in hubby's company, but no where near a big chunk. if his company ever needed real help, or went out of business, or whatever - you wouldn't have any money to put there or to use for household expenses. it would all be gone.

if it were me, i'd consider funding my ira first, funding 529s for the children, then putting the rest in mutual funds with the intent to never touch it, but it could be accessed in a time of need.

[KLD313]

I'm no expert by far but I am friends with a financial planner. When my dad died his stick broker was losing money for my mom hand over fist. We talked to my friend that set her up with an annuity. It's a specific product and I don't want to get into specifics but the money you put in it never goes down, it's insured. She also got a 10 percent bonus on her money. When the stock market crashed she made money and is living off the interest the annuity is making her.

If you want to look into it you can PM me and I'll tell you the name. It's a huge international company and has nothing to do with my friend he just invested her money in it.

[janine]

Ok for fun (;), can you answer some questions?

What does your husband's company do?

What savings (if any) do you have? Not the amount, what is being saved for and how far along are you.

What debt?

What do you have on your "to do" list - ie housework, bills to be paid off, college fund started,etc.

How conservative/aggressive do you want to be?

[sste]

Thanks for the welcome back! :) Things are still not great here - - but I think I have reached a point where everyone that was likely to die in the next two decades has already died, and most of what could go wrong has gone wrong. So, hopefully uphill from here.

Anyway, the other thing your financial planner may advise you is to put the money into your investments in smaller chunks across a year or two. Maybe not but some feel that you reduce your risk by buying over the course of a longer period of time rather than all at once.

[gatorsmom]

Well, that's my shorthand way of saying I have no idea what your other investments are really like. Usually professionals recommend different ratios of stocks to bonds depending on how close you are to retirement, as I'm sure you know.



I do understand it's not as simple as naming a particular stock. I waS just haVing a little fun with you. I find money investments dull and nerve wracking at the same time. Definitely not my forte. I appreciate you taking the time to answer.

[janine]

I'm no expert by far but I am friends with a financial planner. When my dad died his stick broker was losing money for my mom hand over fist. We talked to my friend that set her up with an annuity. It's a specific product and I don't want to get into specifics but the money you put in it never goes down, it's insured. She also got a 10 percent bonus on her money. When the stock market crashed she made money and is living off the interest the annuity is making her.

If you want to look into it you can PM me and I'll tell you the name. It's a huge international company and has nothing to do with my friend he just invested her money in it.

Fixed annuity or variable? Variable annuities are actually a very risky product. Always be cautious when told things like "never goes down" or guaranteed,etc. So the initial investement is protected and she gets 10%? Sounds too good to be true, but interesting.

[lizzywednesday]

You guys are no fun! Yes, I'll see a financial planner for sure but I thought you could say, "buy Apple stock right now because it's so hot!" or "the economy is going to crash soon, all the prophets say so, buy gold coins!".

I wish we could! So much depends upon the amounts we're talking about and the types of risk you're comfortable with. IIRC, you're in your 40s, so that's the time when a lot of financial planning info says to back off risk and go for growth - but what that will mean in your situation is going to be different from what it'll mean in mine, for example. It's a very personal thing!

Stock is too iffy if you're talking about retirement ... and this is coming from someone whose salary investments are all tied to a high-yield money market account (about which she knows next to nothing and hasn't made the time to meet with a rep from our planning company because they're always offering it at inconvenient times ... )

If there were a hot stock coming up for an IPO that would give you a high yield for a short-term hold, I might take a chance with a little bit of the cash, but even then it's a pretty dicey strategy - you have to know when you'd want to get out so you could make money rather than staying in too long and losing.

My stepdad does this for a lot of things and when the markets are down, he gets more anxious ... and when he's more anxious, he sends a lot of political and/or racist forwards. (He's very anxious lately; I filter his forwards into my spam folder. I don't have the patience to read or discuss anything political with him - I thought he knew we don't see eye-to-eye and I like him too much to get into political discourse with him.)

HOWEVER, and this is a BIG however, he has decades of experience in the financial products industry.

If you're serious about learning the ins and outs of stocks, pick a few to watch over a few months using a subscription to the Wall Street Journal or other financial newspaper. See how they trend - do they go up and down erratically? Do they stay stable? How much is the price per share? What kinds of other industries might they be reliant on for success? Look for patterns and learn as much as you can about the companies.

Neither my stepfather nor I would advise anyone to invest in the Market without learning a bit more about how it works.

And, lastly, as much as you want to wash your hands of the whole situation, it's a good idea to keep yourself involved, informed and get educated about your overall financial picture. Good luck.

[gatorsmom]

Ok for fun (;), can you answer some questions? Sure I'll play. :)

What does your husband's company do? We have a couple that DH spun off but most of them work in residential construction and remodeling. One of them is our rental properties.

What savings (if any) do you have? Not the amount, what is being saved for and how far along are you. We have some IRA accounts and some stock from DH's last employer but they are very small compared to the amount of money he is earning yearly. We argue about this often- I would rather be saving more for our retirement and he says while we are still young we should be investing agressively.

What debt? We are still paying off a company he bought 7 years ago. We owe a lot and my inheritance would pay off half of that. DH estimates it will be another 4 years before it is all paid off if we continue to pay it down as agressively as we are. We are upside down on some rental properities but we keep renters in them so they are fine being left alone now. We still owe on our house mortgage but it was refinanced at a great rate. It's on the market while we build another house. That mortgage rate is low too. DH bought a commercial building a few years ago and is pushing me to buy it. But that is being paid down too by renters so I want to stay out of that.

What do you have on your "to do" list - ie housework, bills to be paid off, college fund started,etc. I started 529s 5 years ago and we are aggressively investing in them. The rest of our bills are paid.

How conservative/aggressive do you want to be? I want to put my money in something VERY safe. DH is the aggressive one. I figure if all his investments and gambles tank, I would like something I can be sure of.

(bolding is Janine's quotes)

[BillK]

Just don't invest in Madrigal Electromotive GmbH (http://breakingbad.wikia.com/wiki/Madrigal_Electromotive_GmbH)!! :rotflmao:

[gatorsmom]

I wish we could! So much depends upon the amounts we're talking about and the types of risk you're comfortable with. IIRC, you're in your 40s, so that's the time when a lot of financial planning info says to back off risk and go for growth - but what that will mean in your situation is going to be different from what it'll mean in mine, for example. It's a very personal thing!

Stock is too iffy if you're talking about retirement ... and this is coming from someone whose salary investments are all tied to a high-yield money market account (about which she knows next to nothing and hasn't made the time to meet with a rep from our planning company because they're always offering it at inconvenient times ... )

If there were a hot stock coming up for an IPO that would give you a high yield for a short-term hold, I might take a chance with a little bit of the cash, but even then it's a pretty dicey strategy - you have to know when you'd want to get out so you could make money rather than staying in too long and losing.

My stepdad does this for a lot of things and when the markets are down, he gets more anxious ... and when he's more anxious, he sends a lot of political and/or racist forwards. (He's very anxious lately; I filter his forwards into my spam folder. I don't have the patience to read or discuss anything political with him - I thought he knew we don't see eye-to-eye and I like him too much to get into political discourse with him.)

HOWEVER, and this is a BIG however, he has decades of experience in the financial products industry.

If you're serious about learning the ins and outs of stocks, pick a few to watch over a few months using a subscription to the Wall Street Journal or other financial newspaper. See how they trend - do they go up and down erratically? Do they stay stable? How much is the price per share? What kinds of other industries might they be reliant on for success? Look for patterns and learn as much as you can about the companies.

Neither my stepfather nor I would advise anyone to invest in the Market without learning a bit more about how it works.

And, lastly, as much as you want to wash your hands of the whole situation, it's a good idea to keep yourself involved, informed and get educated about your overall financial picture. Good luck.

Thank you. Good advice. I need to be more informed. And I needed that fire under my butt. ;)

[gatorsmom]

Just don't invest in Madrigal Electromotive GmbH (http://breakingbad.wikia.com/wiki/Madrigal_Electromotive_GmbH)!! :rotflmao:

I'm missing something. What's wrong with them? I've never heard of them. They look kinda scary.

[BillK]

I'm missing something. What's wrong with them? I've never heard of them. They look kinda scary.

haha - sorry - Breaking Bad reference. :)

[brittone2]

Ok for fun (;), can you answer some questions? Sure I'll play. :)

What does your husband's company do? We have a couple that DH spun off but most of them work in residential construction and remodeling. One of them is our rental properties.

What savings (if any) do you have? Not the amount, what is being saved for and how far along are you. We have some IRA accounts and some stock from DH's last employer but they are very small compared to the amount of money he is earning yearly. We argue about this often- I would rather be saving more for our retirement and he says while we are still young we should be investing agressively.

What debt? We are still paying off a company he bought 7 years ago. We owe a lot and my inheritance would pay off half of that. DH estimates it will be another 4 years before it is all paid off if we continue to pay it down as agressively as we are. We are upside down on some rental properities but we keep renters in them so they are fine being left alone now. We still owe on our house mortgage but it was refinanced at a great rate. It's on the market while we build another house. That mortgage rate is low too. DH bought a commercial building a few years ago and is pushing me to buy it. But that is being paid down too by renters so I want to stay out of that.

What do you have on your "to do" list - ie housework, bills to be paid off, college fund started,etc. I started 529s 5 years ago and we are aggressively investing in them. The rest of our bills are paid.

How conservative/aggressive do you want to be? I want to put my money in something VERY safe. DH is the aggressive one. I figure if all his investments and gambles tank, I would like something I can be sure of.

(bolding is Janine's quotes)

If you want VERY safe, I'd be wary of single stock investments unless you are willing to "play" with a percentage of your inheritance...kwim?

[gatorsmom]

If you want VERY safe, I'd be wary of single stock investments unless you are willing to play with a percentage of your inheritance, going riskier with it but being okay with losing money on it.

Like playing roulette, right? I was never much of a gambler. And you have to be vigilant with these things. Maybe I need something I can sit on and forget about to a certain extent.

[KLD313]

Fixed annuity or variable? Variable annuities are actually a very risky product. Always be cautious when told things like "never goes down" or guaranteed,etc. So the initial investement is protected and she gets 10%? Sounds too good to be true, but interesting.

No, fixed. I know variables are risky. She's had it for over five years now and it's been everything that was promised otherwise I never would have mentioned it. This product is made for retirement. The downside is you need to leave the money there for 10 years but you can always access it with a 10 percent penalty. Also, once a year you can take 10 percent of it without penalty. If you're under retirement age of course you'll pay taxes on it. She got her 10 percent twice because she invested money in it twice and she has lost nothing in five years. The principal always remains the same. We looked into the company it's insured with as well, it all checks out.

[brittone2]

Like playing roulette, right? I was never much of a gambler. And you have to be vigilant with these things. Maybe I need something I can sit on and forget about to a certain extent.

Well, I think a mix of single stocks can be a good thing in certain portfolios, but it really depends on your goals, knowledge, and the rest of your portfolio. BUt I don't think of single stocks as being particularly "safe" or "conservative" at all. You may see a lot of upside (especially if you are interested in a "hot" or sexy kinda stock like you joked about), but you'd have to be willing to take the losses too. Maybe you'd feel okay with doing that as a percentage of your portfolio or using a percentage of your inheritance, but it is going to be riskier than a lot of other options.

If you haven't followed the market much and aren't interested in studying/following the market that much, *and* you want "safe," I'd probably steer the money into other investments.

[katydid1971]

First I want to tell you I am sorry for your loss. Suze Orman seems to recommend investing in stable dividend earning stocks and avoiding annuities at all cost. I would go a check out some investment books from the library so you understand what you are doing with this money before seeing an adviser. They tend to have a way of talking over regular people's understanding of money. Suze also says to wait at least 6 months before investing after a major life change like a loss like yours. Right now I would keep the IRAs where they are, maybe see if they should be rolled over into Roth IRAs. I personally wouldn't invest in DH's company and keep this safely invested in stable stocks giving about 4% dividends. I would also keep everything in your name only, it was left to you and you should control it while sharing the profits with DH and your family.

[sste]

If you go with an index fund, or the time-targed one I mentioned that combines index stock and bond funds, you are diversified across thousands of stocks and bonds. And the fund automatically becomes more conservative (i.e., higher percent in bonds) as you age. BTW, I don't work for vanguard or fidelity, no personal interest, I just think the product is a good one for most Americans.

Annuities can be good but many, many more of them benefit the annuity seller at the expense of the consumer. I have always avoided them because sorting out the few good from the very many bad is well beyond the time and effort I wish to devote. I work in academics and TIAA-CREF I have heard has among the better annuities, but even then I just can't deal!

[sste]

Wait, are you inheriting an IRA? If so, you should see if you can roll it over and keep it as an IRA. I am not up on the rules for this but keeping it in IRA form is a plus because let's say you don't need that money for retirement after all. Then I *think* you can pass it onto your kids without your kids having to pay tax on the inheritance. I really don't know the rules and they are ever-changing - - I would call Vanguard or Fidelity and talk to someone in IRAs and also the fee-based planner would know.

[janine]

I think you answered your own question in your response, you want something very safe and stable. That rules our your husband's business, real estate (which I initially suggested as aggressive investment, but you already have that covered!), individual stock picking.

I would go with diversified portolio with mix of stocks, bonds, or maybe mutual funds covering those; index funds. Speak with an adviser on exact details and make it clear you want conservative, long term invesments, with no fees or ask that fees be spelled out. Gold is conservative too but may've peaked (but they've been saying that for awhile now!

Would that create tension with your DH though?

Good luck and sorry for your loss as well.

[Penny's Pappa]

Well there's this pen I've always wanted...

http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=439515



Seriously though, I think most of it would go into debt reduction and saving for retirement and DD's college education. That's my wife speaking through me, though. Personally, I'd want to take a European vacation or something!

[marymoo86]

Wait, are you inheriting an IRA? If so, you should see if you can roll it over and keep it as an IRA. I am not up on the rules for this but keeping it in IRA form is a plus because let's say you don't need that money for retirement after all. Then I *think* you can pass it onto your kids without your kids having to pay tax on the inheritance. I really don't know the rules and they are ever-changing - - I would call Vanguard or Fidelity and talk to someone in IRAs and also the fee-based planner would know.

I was about to mention this. You should see what tax ramifications you may have with the inheritance and if you can mitigate those by rolling over the IRAs.

[Twoboos]

Just don't invest in Madrigal Electromotive GmbH (http://breakingbad.wikia.com/wiki/Madrigal_Electromotive_GmbH)!! :rotflmao:

I'm sorry, this seems like a very sound investment, lots of return on investment which you can then store in Space Bags in your crawlspace. :rotflmao:

(Sorry to hijack Gatorsmom, but we are on a Breaking Bad binge and Bill's comment cracked me up!!!)

Anyway. When I got the inheritance from my parents passing away, we did different things with it. Some stocks, some annuities, some roll-over of existing IRAs, some college investment. A portion also went into buying out current house, so real estate as well, I guess.

I also have a few accounts that still exist only in my name, getting a miniscule rate of return. DH wants me to close them out and put them in with our regular bank accounts. But with the horror stories I've heard lately (both here and IRL) of SAHM's being left high and dry, it makes me extremely nervous to literally have nothing in my name alone.

GL with your decision. I agree it is mind numbing to think about, and that you probably shouldn't invest everything in your DH's company.

[codex57]

Rental in a college town

[secchick]

We recently had to deal with investing/deploying a lump sum (not an inheritance, in my case, but my employer was bought and as a result, all of my restricted stock and options were accelerated and I got a year's salary for severance). FWIW, we still have a good chunk to put to work. While we are not intentionally dollar cost averaging, and I full intended to do it all at once, but it is spread across several accounts as I also rolled over my 401k and had to redeploy that as well. We are both professionals in the securities industry and feel comfortable managing the money ourselves.

I put a chunk in ETFs specializing in dividend-paying stocks (although this is under advisement depending on the election and what happens with tax rates next year), like DVY, VYM and SDY. I also have some in a REIT index, and other broad market indices, as well as all world-ex US and emerging markets ETFs (like VEU/VWO). I did not put any in US bonds because I think interest rates are going to go up and have decided to treat my cash balance pension that gets a 4% minimum interest credit as my domestic fixed income allocation. Throw in some international bonds and we are set. We decided that lowering expenses was the biggest thing we could do to improve long term return, hence our liberal use of low cost ETFs.

That said, I would totally let an inherited IRA ride it out in the account and would only take required distributions (if I had to).

ETA: We also took a small portion and are treating it as our speculative investment allocation. While we do have individual stocks most are things like Philip Morris/Altria/Conoco/Berkshire that pay a dividend. The speculative allocation is for investments that are more exciting/fun, like Facebook (if FB were a good investment, which it is obviously not). One of our previous speculative investments was Google, which we thought was sky high at the time and has done very well for us over the years. I think we are putting this portion in one of the hedge funds at DHs work.

[gatorsmom]

Well there's this pen I've always wanted...

http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=439515



Seriously though, I think most of it would go into debt reduction and saving for retirement and DD's college education. That's my wife speaking through me, though. Personally, I'd want to take a European vacation or something!

Nice pen. :D

I dont need any help spending the money. I'm an expert at that. :)

[gatorsmom]

Rental in a college town

ha! We did that once. According to the kids at the nearby college it was known as the party house. Apparently some incredible parties went down there. The neighbors hated us and we nearly lost our rental license. Before the college kids moved out, they totally trashed the place. Good memories of that house. :(

[belovedgandp]

When we had a bit of a windfall several years ago (50% of DH's annual salary), we did a couple major home improvement projects, funded our Roth IRAs for a couple years, and put enough of a nest egg in already established 529/ESA funds to feel comfortable ignoring college savings for our kids.

We were already debt free except our mortgage at the time.

I would be worried about having one business being a majority of my investment.

I do not have the patience or interest in real estate (beyond our personal residence) so we are almost only in diversified mutual funds (a couple ETFs and handful of individual stocks).

And sorry, yes, given the possible tax implications and amounts you may be talking about, find someone to walk you through this. I took a class through our community college that was one night a week for six weeks about investing. I learned enough to feel more comfortable and yes, developed a relationship with the instructor. The instructor was an investment adviser that taught the class for client leads and it worked for me to get to know her beyond a one time office visit.

[smiles33]

Ironically, I read this thread before lunch but had nothing to really add. I'm now home from lunch with DH and his grandparents, who just made a huge lump sum gift (basically saying they'd prefer to give him his inheritance before they die) so we're in the same boat (but ours is cash). DH and I will definitely be talking to our financial advisor, but we also decided we're FINALLY going to take a non-road trip vacation and bring the DDs on a plane for the first time. So, since no one else has mentioned it, let me just say that it might be nice to pick a "splurge" for you and your family to enjoy. I know the funds are an inheritance and it's a bittersweet situation, but maybe think of something meaningful that would pay tribute to your dad? Was there a special place you went to during your childhood that would remind you of your dad and help your DC feel that connection?

Good luck figuring this out, OP!

[niccig]

We have some IRA accounts and some stock from DH's last employer but they are very small compared to the amount of money he is earning yearly. We argue about this often- I would rather be saving more for our retirement and he says while we are still young we should be investing agressively.

How conservative/aggressive do you want to be? I want to put my money in something VERY safe. DH is the aggressive one. I figure if all his investments and gambles tank, I would like something I can be sure of.

(bolding is Janine's quotes)

Based on what you wrote here, I would see someone and do exactly this - put it someone safe for retirement. That way, even though you disagree with DH on retirement, you know you have some thing set up and it'll ease your mind. They might tell you, you have enough in your Dad's ira's and have suggestions for other things for some of the money, so be open to that. Let them run the figures for you.

DH and I too disagree about how much to save for retirement. When I start work, I plan to max out my retirement account each year, and auto deduction for DS's college account, then we can work out what to do with what's left. I know I'll feel better with more going into those 2 accounts and I'm hoping it cuts down on the arguments. DH has seen someone re. his 401K, iras and he told DH he needs to do more, so he's slowly coming around.

ETA. I also think doing something that honors your dad is a good idea for some of the money. DH's grandmother died and each grandchild inherited a few thousand dollars - not bad for a lady on social security. At the time we had just bought the house and needed some new furniture. We bought a couple quality pieces that we will always have. I know DH thinks of his grandmother when he sees them.

Also re. your DH. I don't know him and he may be upset that you didn't trust him with the money. I would say you want to do it as it's a connection with your dad. I know I would think of my parents if I was managing the money they left us - but I don't think I'll inherit much my mother inherited a LOT of money from her parents and I'm pretty sure it's all spent.

[gatorsmom]

Also re. your DH. I don't know him and he may be upset that you didn't trust him with the money. I would say you want to do it as it's a connection with your dad. I know I would think of my parents if I was managing the money they left us - but I don't think I'll inherit much my mother inherited a LOT of money from her parents and I'm pretty sure it's all spent.

Oh, yeah, DH is upset that I'm not trusting him to handle it. He keeps pointing out all the things he's done well with regards to our money. And I keep having to tell him that I just want to try to figure this one out on my own. He still doesn't get it. When I make suggestions on things to do to the house we are building he keeps saying, "why don't YOU pay for it (out of your dad's inheritance)?" grrr... as if our money isn't MY money too.

As for something that honors my dad, he left his hobby farm/hunting lands to my brother and I and I'm working with a lawyer to turn that property into an inheritance that will pass down through the ages to our kids and grandkids. It's where Dad was happiest and we talk about him all the time when we camp there. :)

[niccig]

Oh, yeah, DH is upset that I'm not trusting him to handle it. He keeps pointing out all the things he's done well with regards to our money. And I keep having to tell him that I just want to try to figure this one out on my own. He still doesn't get it. When I make suggestions on things to do to the house we are building he keeps saying, "why don't YOU pay for it (out of your dad's inheritance)?" grrr... as if our money isn't MY money too.


Ouch. Sorry, not sure how to deal with this. My mother, the one with the money, would do the opposite. My dad would say that maybe they shouldn't buy whatever it is she wanted and she would reply "it's my money. I'll do what I want." Ouch. Some of what she bought they needed, upgraded TV, couch, some work on the house, but she went overboard in other areas.

I hope you can work it out.

ETA. Can you say something about wanting to keep it separate for the kids. Mm, this is a tough one.

[sste]

Oh no, no, no, no Gator's DH.

Start with this: "I know that my dad most of all wanted me to feel safe and secure. And I feel very strongly, in my heart, that he would have wanted me to use this money for a retirement account for our family. I really appreciate you honoring his wishes and mine."

If that doesn't work, go big guns: "DH, the only reason I feel comfortable putting this in the retirement is because I know how savvy you are at business and that you can more than provide for our family without money from my dad. Thanks again for giving our family that security."