Will K help with this?

[vonfirmath]

I'm in a small group with three little boys who are all the same age, born between May and August of 2007. My son is the youngest. BOTH of the other two boys have had their parents decide to hold their kid back from starting K this year... and it makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Especially when they are loudly discussing in front of me "Oh yeah, most parents of little boys hold their sons back" and then, on Sunday, the dad lets me know that my kid has trouble focusing on one thing. (yes, he does, at Sunday School. I don't know why because he obeys MUCH better at home! So I've had problems figuring out how to deal with the problem when out)

Will the K teacher be able to work with this? My kid is SO ready to go to school. I do not feel it would be fair to him to keep him back. Especially because its not like I can teach him at home, much as I would like to. I work full time, so he'd be at childcare. I But I do know he's got some struggles with sitting still, etc. I was hoping sending to K they would have new strategies for helping him learn!

[klwa]

First off, *hugs*. Second, there's no such thing as "most parents". You know your son's readiness level better than others. Sounds like he's in a daycare setting now. You MAY want to speak with his current main teacher. Does he sit still during "classroom" time at the daycare? My kids do great at daycare/school, but SUCK at sitting still with me in Sunday School. :)

All that said, DS was one of the oldest kids in his class, with a September birthday. (Cutoff of August 31.) I don't know of ANY kids in this area who were held back in his K class last year. And I plan to send DD next year, days after her 5th birthday. I think it was good for DS to be older before going, but that's because of his emotional abilities. He was much better able to handle things at almost 6. (DS had been babied his whole way through daycare. Walked in the first day & he was just "the man" if you know what I mean. Even now, the other kids in after school care baby him. DD never had that same things going for her & is, as a result, MUCH more mature at the same age.)

[Katigre]

I would not keep him back if he's ready. My newest DS was an August baby and I am not planning to hold him back at all.

[vonfirmath]

klwa: That's the thing. At childcare I get great compliments about how well behaved he is, and such. I don't know how much "Classroom" type sitting they do though she does have them sit for a small story sometimes.

[icunurse]

Most kids this age have trouble sitting still for longish periods. According to the school that we send our children to, K is about learning rules and learning to be able to spend more time sitting still and listening. Learning to do it, not expected to do it on the first day. Dd is very smart, but impulsive and wavers in her attention spane, but i never though twice about aending her and didnt hear a thng from her school about it. Not every child has the same capacity for sitting still and not being able to do it doesn't guarantee academic failure any more than sitting for a story guarantees school success. You just trust your instincts and let that Dad keep questioning his own decisions (which is what it sounds like he is doing to me).

[vonfirmath]

*wry* I don't doubt that he is questioning his decisions because look at me -- i'm questioning ours!

These are dear friends. I know they aren't trying to hurt me. But-- But.
*wry*

[belovedgandp]

My June boy just started (on time 8/31 cut-off). It is based on the kid. I'm not one to make the decision at birth, but see how things fall out. They change so much at these ages. But yes, every time I turned around this summer and met a 5YO and would ask where they were going to K, it felt like I was hearing they were waiting another year. It starts to make you question things no matter how confident you are in the decision. I don't know how many summer birthdays are in DS's class, but one week in and we're find. I was most worried about his find motor skills and while there were kids doing much better on the first day than he did on some of the activities (drawing, writing name, cutting) there were others who struggled the same or more. Parents stay for the first hour, so I got a small glimpse. Hugs, go with your gut.

[bisous]

I'm putting my youngest of the group kid in K and while it gives me pause sometimes (he is the smallest and youngest in his group!) I also know that he is ready and that gives me peace. He isn't going to be perfect and waiting won't change that. If he is ready (and it is clear that you feel that he is) then you are doing the right thing! I'm sure that your friends are just as worried as you are.

If you want to be classy, you could just say that you feel pretty good about your decision but know it can be really hard to decide. "I'm so glad we can choose what is best for our kids. It always feels so good to follow your instincts." That would affirm their choice and yours in a friendly way.

[megs4413]

I'm struggling with this right now, too. We went to a pre-school party for my DD's second grade class yesterday. There were several 5 year olds there (younger siblings) and not ONE of them was going into K. My DS' birthday is in march, so I really can't justify holding him back because of a late birthday. It seems around here, though, that little boys born after January are staying home another year. It might be right for those families, but there is just no justifiable reason for me to do it with my son. He wants to go to school and he's ready, so he's going. HUGS!

[KpbS]

What you are describing many Kindergartners have trouble with. Hence it tends to be a large focus of K and a good bit of time is spent on neg/positive reinforcements for behavior. Unless you suspect your child very well might have an attention/hyperactivity problem, I would assume he falls into the realm of "normal" for attention, focus, ability to sit, etc. and since you have had good classroom reports I would expect those to continue as a part of Kindergarten.

It is a tough decision! Recently I was very surprised to realize that almost all of my high school friends that were guys had summer birthdays and were not held back. There are several physicians, a researcher, small business owner, etc. included in that friend group. It goes against the current red-shirting trend but those kids can totally succeed, obviously, in Kindy and beyond!

[Green_Tea]

Based on what you've said in this thread, I'd send him. Being able to sit still (which it sounds like he does just fine at daycare) is not, on its own, a reason to send or not send a 5 year old to K. LOTS of kindergarteners have ants in their pants. Lots of first graders do, too. It's completely normal and age appropriate.

It sounds like you felt your son was ready before the other parent made that comment. Go with what YOU know.

[Green_Tea]

What you are describing many Kindergartners have trouble with. Hence it tends to be a large focus of K and a good bit of time is spent on neg/positive reinforcements for behavior.

Also, I totally agree with this. I have many friends who redshirted their boys who express frustration with how immature the other kids in K were, which I find kind of entertaining - perhaps if they had sent their sons on time, they'd be less frustrated by other kids' age appropriate behaviors.

[hellokitty]

What does his preschool teacher think? I feel like they can give you a pretty realistic opinion on whether or not your child is ready. One of my friends was in a situation where she was going to hold her son (bday was right before cut off), but when she asked his preschool teacher, she said she could think of no reason to hold him. So, they went ahead and enrolled him into K and he did fine. I am in the same boat with DS3, he is like my friend's son, bday is only a few days prior to cut off and I am planning on holding him. However, I trust the preschool teacher he will be having and if she says he's ready to go, then I'll let him go to K. His biggest problem though is that he has a bad temper, so I'm more worried about emotional readiness.