Updated :Teacher Yelling at 3rd graders

[Octobermommy]

How do you feel about that? My dd teacher will probably be the older, yelling at the kids type which worries me immensely. My dd is sensitive and won't respond well if she is yelled at. Although at this point I believe that my dd won't be the target of the yelling she will be around it. The other teacher I know nothing about ( new to the school). My dd was telling me a story about last year & muttered under her breath about the yelling she heard , then acted like she didn't say it bc she didn't want to get in trouble at school for telling on the teacher which worries me & breaks my heart at the same time.

How much would this bother you?

[KpbS]

It would definitely bother me--even more so if my DC was the sensitive type. If I were in your shoes, I would go to the administration and ask for your child to be moved, not demand, and not necessary cite the yelling as the reason, but the teacher's teaching style instead. I don't mind strict teachers but I don't think that is synonymous with yelling. Have classes started?

[Tondi G]

I would just ask that my child be moved to another class. If your DD is sensitive and this teacher is known to be the "yelling type" then they are not a good match and could be setting you DD us for a rough year. I would put it on your DD, say she is very sensitive and isn't comfortable with the teacher. Let the principal know that one of the things she mentioned is that she has heard this teacher yelling at students in the past (I am assuming the principal knows this already) and it is creating unnecessary anxiety for your child.

[klwa]

I voted apples. If the teacher is a good fit otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. However, if she's the "bad" teacher, as discussed on a previous thread, then I'd worry more.

[jren]

DD got the "yelling" teacher last year. The teacher was tall, and her voice carries. She was also the most upbeat and enthusiastic teacher we've had. She never yelled in a mean way at the kids, but would raise her voice for attention "ok everybody, time to take your seats". I'm guessing from outside the classroom, other kids could hear her and confused loud with yelling? But she was the best teacher. We loved her!

I would make sure that you have the full story first before asking to have your child moved. Hopefully, its just an enthusiastic teacher and not a mean one.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I voted apples. If the teacher is a good fit otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it. However, if she's the "bad" teacher, as discussed on a previous thread, then I'd worry more.

:yeahthat:

[wellyes]

So, your child has no experience wit the teacher? Have you met her?

[Green_Tea]

So, your child has no experience wit the teacher? Have you met her?

:yeahthat:

I think you need to give this teacher and your daughter a chance before you make a decision. To do otherwise would be selling them both short.

What is the source of your information about the teacher?

[Gracemom]

My DD had a teacher who was a yeller, mostly when a couple kids would not comply with her instructions after several chances. It was not directed at my DD, and my DD was not particularly upset by it. I have been known to yell on occasion, so I think she was used to it. I think 3rd grade is old enough to understand that teachers are people too and also get frustrated. It can be a learning opportunity to talk about other ways to handle feelings. I would give it a try. In our school, asking to change teachers is a big deal and usually won't be granted unless there is a good reason, other than hearsay.

[DietCokeLover]

I voted apples. I would wait until I had some first hand experience before doing anything. You may be pleasantly surprised and if not, you have a stronger case for your request for her to be moved.

[mikeys_mom]

DS and all his friends keep talking about the grade 3 hebrew teacher they are scared of. This is all hearsay from older kids who say she yells and is strict. However, I have heard only good things about her from other parents. They say she is very strict but runs a great class and is an excellent teacher. I wouldn't do anything based only on what kids say.

[lfp2n]

My DD got the yeller in 2nd grade, I asked to move her like half the other parents did and they said no. I guess everyone can't move, if there are 3 classes a third of the kids have to have her and unless you move schools there's not much you can do.
Looking back she was our worse teacher but I know that at some point every kid will get a teacher they don't like and it didn't negatively impact her progress. I'd wait and see how it goes, of course if the 'bad' teacher had a real negative impact on my child I'd make a lot more fuss.

[BabyBearsMom]

I said Other. I think sometimes kids have preconceived notions about teachers and they aren't always true. When I was in 5th grade, I was devestated when I found out who was assigned as my teacher. I thought she was mean and scary. My mom looked into moving me, but instead the teacher reached out to me directly to tell me how excited she was to have me in her class. She was also the first teacher who ever recognized my talent in math. She tutored me in math to get me up to speed with the advanced group. I had always thought I was bad in math and she was the first person to give me self esteem about it. I'm an accountant now and I believe I owe it to that teacher. Thank goodness my mom wasn't successful in moving my class.

And I didn't realize until I just tried to google this teacher that my DD1 has the same first name as this teacher. Now that I think of it, I remember thinking that she had a very pretty first name when she told me and apparently it stuck with me subconsciously.

[Octobermommy]

I have met the teacher before & she is the mean and scary type, even to me.

[acmom]

:yeahthat:

I think you need to give this teacher and your daughter a chance before you make a decision. To do otherwise would be selling them both short.

What is the source of your information about the teacher?

:yeahthat:

[ChristinaLucia]

I'd move her to the other class. I just had to do that with my DD due to a teacher who is notoriously mean and my DD is sensitive.

[Tondi G]

I have met the teacher before & she is the mean and scary type, even to me.

If you don't feel good about her either then I would go in right away and ask that your child be moved. I am sure there will be other parents asking to do the same.

[Binkandabee]

You can't make a decision like this based on gossip. Give the teacher a chance, then decide if the fit is good or not. Your decision has to be an informed one when you're making a big decision like this.

[sophiesmom03]

DD had a yeller last year and is sensitive. She told me the teacher usually yelled at certain kids (who seemed unfazed by it) and sometimes at the whole class but never at her specifically. I didn't care for her style but I'll say DD's academics improved drAmatically. Go figure?

[codex57]

Just curious, but what happens when your kid gets older and has a boss or professor (of some required course) that is mean or doesn't "fit" well with your kid. What do you do then?

Yes, I was reading a "10+ things your principal won't tell you" article.

[Octobermommy]

Just curious, but what happens when your kid gets older and has a boss or professor (of some required course) that is mean or doesn't "fit" well with your kid. What do you do then?

Yes, I was reading a "10+ things your principal won't tell you" article.

Hmm, well for starters I think 7 vs 17 + are very different.

[lfp2n]

I guess I don't know whether the just move her advice is going to work with an unpopular teacher. If 10 parents ask to move the school can't do that, so they are hardly likely to move just one as it wouldn't be fair. I guess you have more ammunition if you go into the class and can show she's not a good fit and having an adverse effect.

[crl]

Just curious, but what happens when your kid gets older and has a boss or professor (of some required course) that is mean or doesn't "fit" well with your kid. What do you do then?

Yes, I was reading a "10+ things your principal won't tell you" article.

I can see this point. But I also think that it is very appropriate for parents to play a much bigger role with grade schoolers than with college students. Ideally, I think parents need to gradually become more and more hands off as kids become more and more able to fend for themselves. A college student? I wouldn't even think of intervening for anything short of real abuse or criminal behavior on the part of the teacher. Grade school is a different story. I don't know what I would do in this situation, but my decision would not be based on the idea that my kid should fend for herself in third grade.

Catherine

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I guess I don't know whether the just move her advice is going to work with an unpopular teacher. If 10 parents ask to move the school can't do that, so they are hardly likely to move just one as it wouldn't be fair. I guess you have more ammunition if you go into the class and can show she's not a good fit and having an adverse effect.

:yeahthat:

honestly it sounds like jumping the gun a little simply based on gossip from other children and a general first impression with meeting the teacher once or twice. Unless you actually witnessed this teacher yelling at other kids, or your DD was already in her classroom and there were issues, I wouldn't start making requests to the school over it. Besides, you mentioned you know nothing about the other teacher she could be assigned to...what if you ask to be in this other teacher's classroom, and she ends up being a total flake? I personally wouldn't chance it over this.

[KpbS]

What did you decide to do, OP?

[Octobermommy]

What did you decide to do, OP?

I confirmed that my dd is in the class with the teacher that yells but the other teacher ( who was a mystery to me until today) is not a better option so we will see how she does and how my dd responds. I am hoping and praying it goes well but if not then we will put her in a different school ( we have been debating switching schools for a few months now)

It is good to have options.

Thanks for the replies and thoughts!

[dogmom]

I have to admit I find it very annoying to hear all the chatter in the summer about the coming year's teachers. I'm sure there are some just horrid teachers out there, but there are also OK teachers that are not good "fits" in the parent's eyes. There are also teachers that have a bad year because of other stuff (make up of a class or their personal life). It annoys me to no end when parents are firing off letters to their principals before the kids even have the teacher about it not being a good fit. And I have to admit I often use the "what if you don't get along with your boss" analogy. I try to steer clear of these preschool year conversations because they tend to come from the same people, it is more than half rumor, and I find my schooling/parenting philosophies differ greatly from these parents. (It tends to be it is never their kid, always the teacher.)

I'm not saying there aren't disaster school years and pairings for kids. Or that you never should speak up on behalf of your kid. BUT I tend to take all the "this teacher is X" information with a pound of salt and always wait for the actually experience. My son has had several teachers I thought were just fine if not good that other parents bitched to no end about.

So in your particularly situation I would want to find out exactly what this yelling consists of and if it bothers my kid.