urbanmommy
09-10-2012, 10:23 AM
I am at a loss. DD1 has never been great at bedtime but we can typically get her to go to sleep somewhere between 8 and 9. Now, for the past few weeks she will not go to bed. Every night we do our normal bedtime routine - pj's, brush teeth, books, brief cuddle. In the past she hung out in her bed for a bit and fell asleep within 20 minutes or so. On some nights she'd call for dh or I to come in and give her a drink and then go to sleep after that.
Lately though we've go through the routine and it becomes time for me to go and she says she's not tired. When she's said this I tell her that she can play quietly or look at books for a few minutes in her room and then she needs to get in bed. This worked pretty well for a few nights. Now she says she's not tired and I tell her then she can play in her room she says no, that she "wants mommy to stay." I'll lie down with her for a little longer then tell her that I have to go and she starts crying inconsolably. I'll go and tell her that I'll come back and check on her in a bit and she just cries and cries for me. This goes on for hours until she finally falls asleep at 11:30 or later. DH and I go in to check on her and reassure her, we've let her come downstairs a few times and play quietly in her playroom but nothing is working or feels like any kind of a solution.
I can't sleep in her room because I don't want to set up that precedent and because I have to take care of dd2 and also if I stayed in there I think it would still take her a long time to go to sleep. When I cuddle with her she's not really settling down, she talks most of the time and I have to keep reminding her that its quiet time and she needs to lie with her eyes closed and try to sleep.
She seems very sad to me. She keeps asking why we moved her to the downstairs, says that she just wants to be with her family (not by herself), that she worries that we forget about her in the middle of the night and other things along these lines. DH thinks she's being manipulative and believes that we should let her cry and eventually she'll fall asleep. I believe that this is just cruel and I really am not ok with letting her cry for hours in her bed alone but it usually falls on DH to deal with her once it gets late because I'm upstairs with DD2.
Any ideas of how we can help DD through this hard time?
BTW, she rarely (maybe 1x week) naps during the day and gets many hours of play and outside time at her play-based full time preschool.
Lately though we've go through the routine and it becomes time for me to go and she says she's not tired. When she's said this I tell her that she can play quietly or look at books for a few minutes in her room and then she needs to get in bed. This worked pretty well for a few nights. Now she says she's not tired and I tell her then she can play in her room she says no, that she "wants mommy to stay." I'll lie down with her for a little longer then tell her that I have to go and she starts crying inconsolably. I'll go and tell her that I'll come back and check on her in a bit and she just cries and cries for me. This goes on for hours until she finally falls asleep at 11:30 or later. DH and I go in to check on her and reassure her, we've let her come downstairs a few times and play quietly in her playroom but nothing is working or feels like any kind of a solution.
I can't sleep in her room because I don't want to set up that precedent and because I have to take care of dd2 and also if I stayed in there I think it would still take her a long time to go to sleep. When I cuddle with her she's not really settling down, she talks most of the time and I have to keep reminding her that its quiet time and she needs to lie with her eyes closed and try to sleep.
She seems very sad to me. She keeps asking why we moved her to the downstairs, says that she just wants to be with her family (not by herself), that she worries that we forget about her in the middle of the night and other things along these lines. DH thinks she's being manipulative and believes that we should let her cry and eventually she'll fall asleep. I believe that this is just cruel and I really am not ok with letting her cry for hours in her bed alone but it usually falls on DH to deal with her once it gets late because I'm upstairs with DD2.
Any ideas of how we can help DD through this hard time?
BTW, she rarely (maybe 1x week) naps during the day and gets many hours of play and outside time at her play-based full time preschool.