WWYD - birthday invite

[niccig]

A friend of DS is having a birthday party at a play place 45 mins away from 3.30-5.30pm, then everyone has to drive back to his house (in rush hour it'll be over an hour drive) to have pizza and cake. Problem for us is that I'm in classes until 8pm. DS is in aftercare until 6pm then gets picked up by babysitter who takes him home until I get there.

DH wondered if maybe the babysitter could get DS earlier and take him. I'm not happy with paying extra 3 hours of babysitting, we're already paying a lot in childcare this semester. And these are cheap friends who have been inconsiderate of our time and money, time and time again (it's a running joke with DH and I on how cheap they are).

Dh suggests saying we can't get DS there, but if they pick him up and have him until 8pm, then fine. I can't see how they can get DS after school (20 mins from them) and their son when school gets out at same time, and then get to the party place by 3.30pm. Plus, she tried to do this to us when it was DS's birthday and I thought it was inconsiderate as you're trying to do the party prep and clean up, so it's hypocritical to try to do it back to them.

I just want to say we can't make it. DS doesn't see their son much anymore as in different schools and don't do the same activities, so he won't even know he missed the party.

[belovedgandp]

That's a whole lot of work for a kids birthday party. I would say, sorry, can't make it and move one without a second thought. Especially for a kid that you are not terribly close to.

Do they live close to you? If it was a super close friend, I'd consider seeing if babysitter could take DS to their house (from your timeline it would be pizza and cake at 6:30-ish) for just the food/cake part with a gift to make the effort.

[ett]

I would just skip it. I wouldn't want to pay for 3 hours of babysitting for a birthday party. Maybe if it was a close friend, but a casual friend that you don't see much anymore, no way.

I have never heard of a birthday party that starts in one place and then have to travel an hour for the rest of the party. That's strange.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Do they live close to you? If it was a super close friend, I'd consider seeing if babysitter could take DS to their house (from your timeline it would be pizza and cake at 6:30-ish) for just the food/cake part with a gift to make the effort.

:yeahthat: otherwise I'd decline guilt free.

[kristenk]

I'd totally skip it in your situation. It's a weird party set-up at an awkward time and the boys aren't all that close. Throw in additional babysitting time and it really isn't worth it.

[niccig]

I have never heard of a birthday party that starts in one place and then have to travel an hour for the rest of the party. That's strange.

It called "we have vouchers for the play place, so don't have to pay for the kids. And pizza and cake is cheaper at our house than buying it there."

I get that the play place's party planning isn't cheap and if it was closer, I might understand. But at 5.30pm on one of the busiest freeways in the county, it could be 60-90mins drive to get back to their house.

I agree, it's just too much work to make it happen for us, so I'll RSVP no.

[buddyleebaby]

I don't think it would be fair to ask the family of the birthday child to transport your child- especially since they don't go to the same school.

I would say you can't make it and not feel bad about it. I imagine many families will be doing the same if the party is at 3:30 on a work/school day.

[niccig]

I don't think it would be fair to ask the family of the birthday child to transport your child- especially since they don't go to the same school.


I agree and I didn't even ask. They did though do exactly that to us for DS's birthday party. I too thought it was inconsiderate and said we couldn't help out as she also wanted her DS to stay at our house for a few hours afterwards (we had somewhere to go immediately after the party). DH suggested asking as they were rude enough to suggest it to us, kind of a pay back on them being inconsiderate. I told him they wouldn't get it.

I RSVPed no.

[DrSally]

I would just skip it

[crl]

I would say no altogether.

Catherine

[♥ms.pacman♥]

If they're not close friends, I woudl skip it and not feel guilty at all over it.

I do agree it is incredibly odd to have a kids' birthday party on a WEEKDAY that would require guests to drive an HOUR in rush hour traffic from play place to the home for pizza and cake. Heck, I didn't even want to do that to our WEDDING guests on a weekend. For a birthday party, that's nuts and the family does sound super cheap/inconsiderate...I would definitely not spend money on a sitter just to have your DS attend.

[deborah_r]

What horrible planning! That would be a definite no for our RSVP. Way too inconvenient!

[Corie]

I would RSVP no.

[123LuckyMom]

You did the right thing. Sometimes "just say no" does actually make sense.

[niccig]

What horrible planning! That would be a definite no for our RSVP. Way too inconvenient!

Deborah, it's in Woodland Hills, so you would have to get on the 101, drive past the 405 connector, to the 134, at 5.30pm on a weekday to get to their house.

The more I think about, the more I think it's crazy. This party is drive 45mins, 2 hour party (but not in party area so no where to sit while kids are playing), drive over an hour in rush hour to get pizza and cake at their house, then I have to drive 20 mins to get home.

I rsvped no. DS wanted his party at this place and I told him it was too far to expect our friends to drive for a 2 hour party.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Deborah, it's in Woodland Hills, so you would have to get on the 101, drive past the 405 connector, to the 134, at 5.30pm on a weekday to get to their house.



eek, just that part alone makes me shudder (i used to live in LA). glad you are turning this one down!

[Fairy]

I'm totally late to this party, but I would have yeah that'd all the skip iy posts. But Ijust wanna say, Ithink we have the same friends. ...

[infomama]

I'd be skipping that p-tay with no qualms.

[vonfirmath]

It called "we have vouchers for the play place, so don't have to pay for the kids. And pizza and cake is cheaper at our house than buying it there."

I get that the play place's party planning isn't cheap and if it was closer, I might understand. But at 5.30pm on one of the busiest freeways in the county, it could be 60-90mins drive to get back to their house.

I agree, it's just too much work to make it happen for us, so I'll RSVP no.

I suspect they are going to have even cheaper pizza and cake, as many parents will pick kid up from party place and NOT head back to the house for food.

[deborah_r]

Deborah, it's in Woodland Hills, so you would have to get on the 101, drive past the 405 connector, to the 134, at 5.30pm on a weekday to get to their house.

The more I think about, the more I think it's crazy. This party is drive 45mins, 2 hour party (but not in party area so no where to sit while kids are playing), drive over an hour in rush hour to get pizza and cake at their house, then I have to drive 20 mins to get home.

I rsvped no. DS wanted his party at this place and I told him it was too far to expect our friends to drive for a 2 hour party.

Ok, that's completely insane! I'll be fascinated if anyone shows up. More fascinated if anyone goes back to their place for pizza & cake!

Now I need to know what is so special about this place!

[mum-to-be]

Did they get some sort of livingsocial deal for the party place? It sounds like madness. If they have to be so cheap, can't they do pizza and cake in a nearby park? I would have said no, even if I was available. Who wants to sit in peak hour traffic like that? It's selfish.

[niccig]

Ok, that's completely insane! I'll be fascinated if anyone shows up. More fascinated if anyone goes back to their place for pizza & cake!

Now I need to know what is so special about this place!

Sky High trampoline place in Woodland Hills. It's a lot of fun, a huge floor of mini trampolines connected together, and a foam pit to bounce into. I've taken DS a couple of times, but I timed it for middle of day to avoid traffic and peak hours. It gets crazy there after school, on weekends and holidays. I've gone on days we've had a teacher work day and there's only a few people there. It gets much busier once school gets out.

Well, I won't be at the party so I won't know how many people will turn up to both the party and then the pizza later. Based on previous events, I expect a few people will do both willingly, others will go but grumble, then there's people like me that won't/can't go.

[niccig]

Did they get some sort of livingsocial deal for the party place? It sounds like madness. If they have to be so cheap, can't they do pizza and cake in a nearby park? I would have said no, even if I was available. Who wants to sit in peak hour traffic like that? It's selfish.

I suspect a livingsocial deal too. The email said we had to RSVP immediately, so I think it's to get enough vouchers for the number of kids they need. Yes, pizza and cake in nearby park would make more sense. DS really wanted his party at this place and I vetoed it because of the distance.

DS did go to a party that was similar distance away, but the parents of the birthday boy organized transport. Between their 2 cars and a friend's minivan, they could take all 10 boys and the 3 adults that were going. I had to just drop DS off/pick up at their house. Much more civilized.

[happyturtles]

Niccig, I'm not sure how old your DS is, but I won't do a weekend party there unless he was 6-7+. I looked into a Sky High place near me for DD's 4 yo party. There's no exclusivity for the party group since its one big area. So a combination of lots of adults, teenagers, and young kids, on a weekend, all jumping on a trampoline just didn't seem safer or the younger ones.

[klwa]

Coudl you say you can't make the play place time, but would love to have babysitter take DS to their house for the pizza/cake part? As a parent, I'd be fine with that. (There's NO WAY I'd mess with my/his routine to get him to the playplace part.)

ETA: never mind. Saw that you had already RSVPd no.

[khm]

For what its worth, we have one of those places nearby and while fun.... the injury rate is very, very high. Ambulances have been there a minimum of twice a week since opening. A family I now has had two kids hurt there (one minor, one broken arm). They did end up going back using free passes they got thrown at them as they left in tears (they weren't part of the ambulance statistic, they didn't realize the arm was broken for a few hours). That time the mom got hurt! Our neighbor put his back out on a work outing there. The list goes on, when the first mom posted on FB, lots of comments included other stories.

Another mom said her friend (an ER doc) warned her to just say no to any invites for her kids based on all the injuries he sees come in from there.

My kids have been there before I knew all this, but we'll be declining any future invites.

[Globetrotter]

Too much work! I agree you are right to say no to the invite.

The weekday party is one thing, but it would have been okay if they had stayed there for the food. I've seen your traffic and it is a nightmare!!

[vonfirmath]

For what its worth, we have one of those places nearby and while fun.... the injury rate is very, very high. Ambulances have been there a minimum of twice a week since opening. A family I now has had two kids hurt there (one minor, one broken arm). They did end up going back using free passes they got thrown at them as they left in tears (they weren't part of the ambulance statistic, they didn't realize the arm was broken for a few hours). That time the mom got hurt! Our neighbor put his back out on a work outing there. The list goes on, when the first mom posted on FB, lots of comments included other stories.

Another mom said her friend (an ER doc) warned her to just say no to any invites for her kids based on all the injuries he sees come in from there.

My kids have been there before I knew all this, but we'll be declining any future invites.

My son went to a birthday party at a place like this earlier this year. AT first we were considering doing the same, but one of the girls at his birthday party (3yo), who was NOT fooling around, just jumping tamely, broke a leg there. So we decided against it.

[AnnieW625]

It called "we have vouchers for the play place, so don't have to pay for the kids. And pizza and cake is cheaper at our house than buying it there."

I get that the play place's party planning isn't cheap and if it was closer, I might understand. But at 5.30pm on one of the busiest freeways in the county, it could be 60-90mins drive to get back to their house.

I agree, it's just too much work to make it happen for us, so I'll RSVP no.

I am cheap and have done my kids birthday parties at our house since they were 2 for less than $150, but yeah now that is just too cheap. If you are getting the kids for free then why not just pay for the pizza and such? Ugh. I think you are making the right decision to RSVP no.

In regards to Sky High there is one in Costa Mesa. A group of kids (all boys, and one girl) went there last year from DD1's kinder class for a birthday and the only kid to get injured was the little girl who ran into a wall as she was leaving. She sprainged her arm. Poor kid. Another friend had her 11 yr. old's birthday there, and no accidents, but yeah you have to be concerned about that as well.

[niccig]

I didn't realize so many people got hurt there. Our place is made up of many smaller squares of trampolines with mats in between. We've gone when it isn't busy and it is just DS and I jumping on our own square. Sometimes we've been the only people jumping. It does get very busy, so I could see people colliding. They do have staff out on the floor telling people the rules, but I am sure collisions happen.

We can't make this party, and sounds like we should only go in quiet times and when I can be on the floor with DS. He's 7. He likes doing flips into the foam pit - he does gymnastics and knows how to do it safely. I just jump in, I know I would hurt myself if I tried a flip.

Thanks everyone.