Hospital stay after birth of 2nd, 3rd, etc. child

[L'sMommy]

What arrangements did u make when u had your 2nd, 3rd, 4th children to care for the children who were at home? Did DH stay overnight with u at the hospital? I am having my 2nd one in 11 weeks and trying to figure out what to do with DS1 while I am in the hospital with DS2.

[MamaKath]

My mom and a friend came to take care of dc1. Dh came to the hospital with me, went home to sleep, then came back for delivery. After delivery, he went home to sleep and brought dc1 and entourage to visit. Went home on baby's 2nd day.

[scrooks]

My SIL took care of dd when I was having DS (it was a scheduled csection). I would have sent her to our regular sitter but she must had her DS 10 days earlier. My ILs stayed are our house while i was in the hospital and cared for dd so DH could be at the hospital during the day with me and DS, although he never spent the night in the hospital with me (for either dc).

[khalloc]

I went into labor around 1 pm with my DS. My MIL picked DD up from daycare and brought her to her house to spend the night. DS was born at 12:11am and We were back at home the next afternoon. So I spent less than 24 hours at the hospital.

No, DH did not spend the night at the ospital. I had a roommate so he couldn't and I don't really see the point anyways.

[ellies mom]

My mom came to help. She and the husband kind of tag teamed staying with DD1 and at the hospital with DD2 and me. She would stay with DD1 at night and then at the hospital with me during the day while DH took DD1 out for quality time. DH spent the nights with me.

[kaharris83]

I'm due in 11 weeks too. :) My mom is coming to stay with DS1. I am making DH go home at night if I've already delivered because DS1 has never been put to bed by anyone but DH and I don't want to disrupt him too much. I'm hoping we can go home as quickly as we did with DS1(29 hours) because I'd rather not bring him to the hospital as I know it will be kind of scary and overwhelming for him. Good luck!!

[AngB]

I am having a scheduled c-section in about 6 weeks, DS will be 18 months then.

We are planning for DH to go home with DS every night and hopefully getting my mom or sister to stay the night with me, at least for the first night especially, because I really don't like sending the baby to the nursery and I don't think they'll let me keep him in my room if I'm by myself less than 24 hours after a c-section. I'm hoping to go home after 2 nights. This will be my third c-section so I know the drill fairly well and am not too worried about being alone. If we have to, I guess DS can spend the night with my parents/family and DH can spend the night with me, or I can spend the night alone and DS2 can go to the nursery. Ideally though, DH will be with DS, we figure DS is going to have a hard enough time with me being gone, keeping him at my parents overnight just seems like it may be a little too much for him. Granted, my family only lives about 5 minutes away and he is very used to being with all of them, so I could be underestimating him, but eh, I know DH would rather go home and I'd rather have DH home with DS.

We had a trial run in May when I ended up hospitalized for a week. DS did okay (think it was harder on me to be apart!), but I was only 13 wks pregnant so not trying to take care of a newborn or anything and I was perfectly fine staying in the hospital alone (it was for a bad infection on my hand from a dog bite). DS has been pretty clingy to me ever since, though, and has just now finally gotten back to the point where I can leave without him crying (even with DH), so I'm really hoping this doesn't set us backwards again.

[edurnemk]

My parents stayed with DS, DH did stay overnight both nights at the hospital. We had carefully explained it to DS in detail, that when the baby was ready to be born mommy would go to the hospital and that I would stay there for 2 nights, daddy would stay there, too, just like when he was born, and that Grandpa and Grandma would stay with him and bring him over to visit everyday for a while.

[nfowife]

With #2 my IL's were at my house visiting because I was already 4cm and a snowstorm was coming so we wanted them here. Then it was almost a week before DS arrived!
With DD2 IL's were set to arrive on my due date since the first 2 were born after my due date. Then I went into labor 3 days before my EDD! I had a friend as a backup so I called her and she came over (it was 4 am) and got my kids up, fed, and to school. DD2 was born quickly so DH was able to pick them up and bring them to meet her after school. DH didn't spend the night at the hospital with DS or DD2, but they were morning deliveries with no complications and I was only at the hospital 24 hours both times. I didn't need help and there was no need for him to sleep on a crappy chair.

[elephantmeg]

DD was a scheduled c-section. DS was 25 months old. My IL's picked him up and brought him over that afternoon and then out to supper and DH left in time to be there for his bedtime. I really didn't feel like I needed DH with me that night. My parents came the next day and stayed with DS the next day. Then we came home on the second day

[belovedgandp]

My parents live close to us and our kids are used to spending the night over there - once every 6-10 weeks. DC2 and DC3 were schedule c-sections for me, so the older one(s) went to grandma's house the night before and stayed with them until I went home (3 or 4 days). DH stayed the nights at the hospital for all three of our kids. He'd leave to go home to shower, run errands, and with DC2 and DC3 Mom would come to stay with me and DH would take the other kids out to do something. They wanted to see the baby, but after saying hi it is hard to keep them entertained in a hospital room.

For DC3 I stayed 3 nights. I wish I'd gone home after 2 and had one night in our house with just baby, DH and myself. The older ones would have been fine at Mom's another night and that first night with all five of us at the house was chaotic,

[brittone2]

DS1 was at the (freestanding) birth center with my parents when DD was born. He was in the common area, but not in the room until after she had arrived. We stayed about 4 hours; DD was born around midnight, and I thought he'd doze off in the hours after that, but he was pumped up and didn't fall asleep until we all went home and rested together. It was worth it though; he still remembers watching her hearing test and all of the details of that as well as other things.

With DS2, I had a HB. I went into labor at 3 am, and DS2 was born a little after 7. We woke the kids up in time to be there for the birth. They had my parents as attendants if they had any desire to be somewhere else, out of the house, if I needed to transfer, etc. It was great as I labored while they were asleep and they were there for the actual birth. We just recovered at home.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Birth center with ds2 and home 7 hours after the birth. My mom had ds1 during labor. Everyone came over after we got home. The grandparents watched the kids, we slept!

eta- I babysat my friends' oldest while she had her 2nd. I went over while she was in labor (Tuesday night) and slept there. They stayed in the hospital Wed. and Thursday night and came to get their big kid Friday morning. They told me, in hindsight, that the dh should have gone home at night to sleep. He got no sleep in the hospital and he felt bad not being with his big kid.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

we have no family in town, but ILs drove up as soon as i was admitted to the hospital. sitter and then ILs took care of DS while i was in L&D and recovery. DH did spend the night, he was right there next to me the whole time. Luckily we had a private room, the room had a decent reclining chair, and my DH is the type who could sleep anywhere (honestly he could probably sleep on a cold concrete floor with no problem).

[pinay]

I had a scheduled induction with DD2, so we dropped DD1 off at school in the morning and headed directly to the hospital afterwards. MIL picked up DD1 after school and hung out with her, then brought her to the hospital about 3 hrs after DD2 was born so they could meet. DH took DD1 home and put her to bed while MIL stayed with me and DD2 till my cousin and parents arrived, then she went back to our house to spend the night and DH came back t the hospital to spend the night with us. MIL took DD1 to school the next morning, DH picked her up and brought her to the hospital after school, then took her back to the house for dinner and bedtime (MIL was there waiting for them). We went home the next day. This worked for us since we only live about 5 miles from the hospital, so it was relatively easy for DH to go back and forth and MIL was willing to stay at our house for a few nights.

[elliput]

My mom came into town for a few weeks to help out with DD, and as DS was born late afternoon, DH went home to sleep. I was fortunate that I was able to be discharged within 24hrs after DS was born which helped to lessen the stress on DD.

[KLD313]

I had a last minute planned c-section. I had my BF stay with DD and my midwife came with me. Then my DD and my BF came to the hospital and left DD with my mom in the waiting room so he could meet me in recovery. Then DD came once I was in my room. He did not spend the night. I was really emotional about leaving DD and since her daddy is her favorite person in the world it made me feel better to do it that way.

[jacksmomtobe]

I was scheduled for a c-section however dd (dc#2) the bugger that she is decided to come early. I still had a c-section but our plan for ds changed. He ended up with sil instead of my mom which was probably the better plan. Dh went home each night though he had sil keep ds the first night. DH then brought ds in for a few hours each day. I was mostly on my own which was fine. The hospital stay was much more relaxing the 2nd time around. No bf issues and the nurses were less intrusive compared to my hospital stay with ds. I found it a nice time to both rest and bond with dd.

[mommyp]

We have no family close by, so we made arrangements for DD to go to our friends' house. DS was born 11 days before my due date, so not really expected yet, but we had made plans for various scenarios (ie weekday vs weekend, if DD was at preschool, etc.) It turned out to be a weekend day, so we called them when I went into labor and dropped her off on the way to the hospital. DS was born ~6 hours later. DH stayed with us awhile, then went home, went to do the bedtime routine with DD at friends house, then came back and spent the night at the hospital with me and DS. We came home the next day and picked DD up on the way home. She had a great time.

[ett]

My mother stayed overnight with DS1 when I went into labor but DH stayed with him the other 2 nights.

[eh613c]

My MIL stayed with us during the last week of pregnancy. After I delivered, DH didn't stay with me overnight. We wanted to make sure that DS1 continues his routine at bedtime (usually DH gives him a bath and reads to him). I stayed for 3 days (I think that's standard for V-delivery). I could have left after 2 days but the night nurses were so nice, they would take DS2 in the nursery after the late night feeding to give me a rest. The nurses brought back DS2 after he woke up.

[jerseygirl07067]

My mom stayed with the girls, though out of the 3 nights I was in the hospital, DH stayed only one the second and third time around. It's a bit much for my mom not get a break, and since we knew how many sleepless nights were ahead of us, I took advantage of the nursery, even with BFing. It worked out well for us.

[fumofu]

The plan, if need be, was to drop off DS1 at my IL's if DH had to stay with me while I labor overnight. But instead I labored at home because I wanted DH and DS to sleep at home. I gave birth at 8am. We dropped off DS on our way to the hospital, then DH picked up DS and they went home to spend the night. The next 2 days DH dropped off and picked up DS at the IL's for a good number of hours, including nap time. It worked well for us.

[klwa]

When DD was born, DH went home to pick DS up from his parents' house, only to have IL's tell him to go home because "he needed his rest." So, DS ended up staying with IL's, while DH slept at our house in blissful quiet.

With this one, DH is playing up the "you get to stay with Grandma & Papa overnight!" angle, which annoys me, because I"d rather, if possible, they were at home in their own beds, especially if it's a school night. But, since he's playing it this way, maybe he's planning on staying with me at the hospital this time....

[daphne]

My DH went home after I gave birth to dc #2 & 3. I felt that my children needed him at home more than I needed him at the hospital. I just made sure he stocked me up with snacks before he left each day! ;)

[llama8]

DD2 was a schedule c-section and DD1 was 19 months old. My parents (both work) but watched DD1 overnight for the first night and then she went to daycare as usual and my husband took care of her at night and she would visit me and the baby. I was only in hospital for 2 nights. My DH did not stay overnight at the hospital so he could watch DD1.

My parents and DH helped me a lot when we came home and my parents and DH took a few days off from work alternating to help me after the c-section. I was fine after the first week.

[jjordan]

Dh stayed home with the kids at night. My mom was there the first day or so so that he could spend a lot of time during the day at the hospital with me and the baby.

[megs4413]

I had uncomplicated vaginal births with both DC.

When DS2 was born, it was a scheduled induction. My FIL and BIL took care of DD while I labored/delivered (from about 2 in the afternoon until 2 in the morning). After DS was born, my mom left the hospital (both she and MIL wanted to witness the birth) and stayed overnight with DD at our house. She brought DD to the hospital in the morning to meet her brother. We went home at 6 in the evening.

Since my births were uncomplicated and the children were doing well, we were able to go home both times within 24 hours.

[mommylamb]

I was induced when I had DS2 (on my due date). My parents spent the night the night before we left for the hospital, and then they stayed a second night while we were in the hospital. DS2 was a very short labor (less than 2 hours) and an uncomplicated birth, so I only spent 1 night in the hospital.

[BabyBearsMom]

I went into labor at 3am but didn't have to leave for the hospital until noon. DH brought DD1 to daycare that morning at her normal time, and then my parents picked her up that night. I was in the hospital for 2 nights and my parents stayed with DD1 at our house while we were gone.

If we had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night, the plan was to call my sister who lives 15 minutes away to stay with DD1 until my parents (who live 45 minutes away) could get there. My sister would have stayed the night with DD1 except she had a brand new baby herself when DD2 was born. I was really happy that the timing of my labor made it much easier.

[Tinkerbell313]

We have no family in the area. We dropped DD(26 months at the time) off at child care and went to the hospital. DS was born around 10am. DH picked DD up at the end of the day, brought her out for dinner, and then brought her to visit.

He also kept the routine for DD for the next two days. He came to the hospital during the day and left around dinner time to spend time with DD at night.

[PZMommy]

I had a c section about 4 weeks earlier than planned. We have no family around to help. My mom had planned to fly in for my scheduled c section, but then I got pre eclampsia, and all plans went out the window. My DH brought our oldest (25 months old), to visit after daycare and then took him home for the night. The baby had to spend the night in the nursery due to some breathing issues. I got him back the next morning and he stayed with me throughout my 5 day stay. DH would come by and visit daily, but couldn't stay long due to needing o care for older DS. In the end it worked out ok. Little did we know it would prepare us for things to come as my baby has been hospitalized four times in his first year of life, so we have had to scramble for DH to take care of our oldest, while I am staying with the baby.

Dawn

[AnnieW625]

My sister came to stay with us for a few days before I delivered. I went to the hospital at midnight so my sister stayed with DD1. She went to daycare the next two days like normal. I had DD2 at 8:30 am and while DH could have stayed he went home that night. I went home the following day so DD2 was 32 hrs. old went we home. If I had known they were going to make us come back for ped. visit and bilirubin check on a Saturday I would have waited to go home until Saturday (they didn't tell me any of this until I had already been approved to check out and they gave me my appt. notice as I was leaving the hospital) as I had her on Thursday and left on Friday.

[pantrygirl]

DH did not stay with me for #2. He stayed with our daughter to avoid any disruption from her normal bedtime routine.
It also allowed me some time to bond with #2.
We did video chat for bedtime so that DD knew mommy and baby brother were thinking about her.

[Simon]

Ds1 went to his BFF's house when Ds2 was born.
1st night at BFF, 2nd night Dh home with him, 3rd night BFFs, 4th night home with Dh.

Ds2 and Ds3 went to same BFF's house when Ds3 was born.
1st night at BFFs, 2nd night home with Dh, 3rd night@BFFs, all home 4th night.

None of our family live near by, some grandparents are working full time and the others are physically (medically) incapable of watching the kids. I like having Dh at the hospital with me because I have no problem waking him up to change diapers, get me food/drink, etc. I try very hard to just rest when I'm there. Well, rest, eat and nurse.

ETA: I bounced right back after Ds2's birth and felt great. With Ds3 I felt very weak and just "off" for quite a while. I felt too weak to hold the baby very long so I really did need Dh's help with some very basic things.

[theriviera]

I went to the hospital after DD1 went to bed on a Sunday night. My neighbor (and good friend) came over to stay the night. She stayed with her in the morning until our nanny came. Our nanny stayed the 2nd night and we were back home Tuesday morning.

[maestramommy]

For our first and 2nd we lived commuting distance from my parents, so my mom came out and stayed with us for 2 weeks when DD2 was born. However, Dh stayed only long enough to take a nap. The hospital extra bed was awful! For DD3 my parents came out to visit again, so they stayed with DD1 and 2, but again my Dh didn't stay overnight because there didn't seem much need and he went back to work anyway, or took some flex time to help out with the kids at home.

[BDKmom]

With DD, I went into labor at 2 AM. We called MIL, who lives about 10 minutes away, and she was there by 3:30 and stayed with DS. DD was born around 10:30 AM, and MIL brought DS to the hospital around 1 PM. They stayed for about 1.5 hours. DH went home around 7 to do bedtime with DS and spent the night and got up with DS the next morning until MIL got back over. DH slept even less than I did in the hospital with DS, so I decided beforehand that he could sleep at home, so that he would be rested to handle DS. I had an uncomplicated vaginal delivery and only stayed the one night. Got home around 4 PM the day after DD was born.

[ehlana06]

My mom took DS1 when I was in labor with DS2. She's planning on taking both the boys when I am in labor with DC3. DH stays with me at the birthing center, but I think it's just because he likes the food there so much. (They do have amazing food, especially for a hospital!)

[mom3boys]

We have no family in the area. We arranged with our very sweet nanny, who lives in our neighborhood, to watch DS1.

With DS2 I went into labor around 8 pm, we dropped DS1 off with nanny around 10:30 pm. DS2 was born 1:50 am. DS1 stayed at the nanny's house overnight, and DH stayed with me the rest of that "night" but that was more due to timing of the birth.

The rest of the time DH did not stay with me in the hospital, as he had to care for DS1.

With DS3 the (same) nanny actually came to our house at around 4 am after I went into labor around 2 am. She thought it'd be easier to just stay at our house and be there when the kids got up than pack them up and take them to her house at that hour. DS3 was born 12 pm and DH left in the afternoon to get the kids, bring them to visit DS3, then take them home. He did not stay either night with me.

I was fine as it was not my first DC, I kind of knew what to do and enjoyed bonding with the new baby those nights.

[Mommy_Mea]

My sister lives close, so she met us at the hospital to pick up DS1 and bring him to our house. My Mom drove from a few hours away to take care of DS1 at home. DH stayed with me until DS2 was born, and then was home with DS1 for mornings/evenings, staying with me during the day.

My Mom took DS1 to daycare and stayed with him at home to keep his routine.

My recovery with DS2 was super easy, so I had no issue staying on my own overnight with DS2. I was (a little) happy to send him home overnight to have special quiet time, just me and DS2. :heartbeat:

With DS1, I had a 3rd/4th degree tear and had labored for 34 hours, so I couldn't even get out of bed on my own, nevermind take care of DS1. DH stayed overnight with me both nights.

If my recovery had been as hard with DS2 as it was with DS1, I probably would have had DH stay with me.

[mum-to-be]

My parents came out from Australia two weeks before the due date. DS woke me at 5:45am, I felt some contractions, so showered and started getting dressed, only to find contractions were incredibly strong and 2 minutes apart. DH and I left for the hospital, I walked up while he parked the car, and DD was born at 8:02am, even before my pre-admission bloodwork had been taken. DH hung around for a bit - I really wanted him to go home and get my Mum and Dad and DS so they could all see DD. He left after 2 hours and was back in the afternoon with my parents and DS. They stayed an hour or so. They all visited again the next day. The third morning DH came in to pick DD and me up.

I thoroughly enjoyed the quiet time in hospital! My DH snores, and it was nice to just be able to think about me and my newborn who was so easy at that stage, despite waking for feeds often, and a session of incessant feeding. Plus, then I didn't have to listen to him snoring while I was awake and tired, and then hear him say what a rough night he had - there is nothing more annoying to me.

It shows how much I need a break - I actually reflect on my hospital stay as if it was a weekend getaway. It is in etched in my memory as one of the most peaceful times in my life as a parent. No waiting on a 3 year old - I was actually brought meals instead!

[daisyd]

I'm due in 11 weeks as well. Thanks OP for starting this thread and all the PPs too. DH and I had been struggling with just this question as we just moved 2 months ago and we don't have family near by. I have a few more ideas about DS's child care while I'm in hospital after reading this thread and I'm easier in my mind now.