omg, i didn't even think this was possible...regression...

[lmh2402]

i honestly didn't think regression would be possible, since it's not as though we've really ever made much progress

but four times this week. FOUR TIMES. DS has peed so much that he actually will pee through his pull-up and soak his clothing. today he also got the couch wet.

i don't know what's going on!!! we have been talking a lot and a lot and a lot about the potty. maybe too much? we've started setting the timer on the microwave for 60 minutes and when it goes off we ask him to sit on the potty.

8 out 10 times this results in a massive tantrum and i end up having to threaten - "this isn't me asking, it's me telling you to sit on the potty or you will lose x, y or z privileged." usually once he sits, he pees. and then he feels happy with himself.

but this week, even after he pees, he'll then hop off the potty and then unload a massive pee into his diaper.

today, he threw a tantrum. sat on the potty. peed a little. five minutes later peed through his clothes and onto the couch. and then 10 minutes after he got changed my sitter saw him walk into the corner where he noteriously goes if he has to poop. she said, "(DS), let's sit on the potty." and he said, "don't come in here. i'm pooping in my diaper. i'll let you know when i'm done.":banghead:

i'm ready to scream. seriously. what the heck?!!!

and he knows what he's doing. tonight when i was kissing him goodnight, he said, "mama, i'm sorry i peed on my clothes again. and on the couch."

and i said, "thank you, (DS). tomorrow let's try to use the potty when we have to go."

and he started screaming and crying, "i said i was sorry! i told you i was sorry! i want you to be happy!"

what can i / should i be doing differently? did we put too much pressure on him with the timer thing? i don't know what else to do or how else to motivate him. he knows all the other kids in school are trained. he just doesn't care. his teacher said whenever she announces potty breaks during the day, he is the very first every time to say clearly that he doesn't have to go.

help.

[Kymberley]

I feel your pain. DS did so well for a few months. Poop and pee both on the potty. Now, it's poop in the underwear every. single. time. I'm going insane.

[edurnemk]

Our DD's are the same age, right? DS is older than yours (4.5) but also having a HUGE PT regression. He'd been daytime trained since 2.5 and nighttime PT'd for a year. Now he wets his bed EVERY NIGHT, sometimes twice in one night. Plus he wakes up for a myriad of reasons every night, I swear he wakes me up more than DD.

He's had a couple of accidents during day time, but usually because he's so into playing he doesn't want to go potty and will go at the last minute.

I'm so tired of doing laundry and helping him change every night I decided that starting tonight we're going back to diapers at night. I just need to sleep, and will deal with this later on. Plus I think I reinforce it with the attention he gets at night when he wets his bed. Even though I lay out a change of clothes for him to change into and a towel to put on his bed if he has an accident, he still cries and goes into my room to inform me that he wet his bed (DH told him he can't wake me up and he should just change and get back into bed, but he does).

I really think in your son's case the regression could be related to the new baby. It's totally normal for them to regress and to try to get attention by acting more baby-ish. DS's regression started the day we got home from the hospital.

[wellyes]

In your shoes, I'd get rid of the diapers and pull ups. They may be helping him feel it's OK to pee/poop in his pants.

[PearlsMom]

I might put him in overnight pull-ups for a few weeks to keep the accidents contained, ignore the potty unless he mentions it, and then start up potty training for real with something like the 3-day-potty-training method (going straight to undies and trying to make the message positive and empowering). I feel for you, though! My DS is younger and kind of potty trained, and I'm fearing a huge regression when our next baby is born in a few weeks.

[BabyBearsMom]

I would hold off a few months, especially given the new baby and the stress that can bring along. We stopped mentioning potty altogether for 4 months after DD2 was born and are just starting to train DD1 now that DD2 is older. No sense in adding stress in a stressful time.

[Simon]

It sounds like he isn't fully relaxing his muscles when he is on the potty, so he isn't fully emptying his bladder. So he gets off the potty, does finally relax those muscles and the urine floods out. This is probably why he can produce pee most times when the timer goes off.

1. I would focus on getting him to sit longer on the potty by making it a pleasant time, whatever that means to your Ds, a time for favorite books, special 1:1 attention, a favorite video, etc. If he is really relaxing vs. just letting a little out so he can get off the potty and go back to whatever he was doing before, then it should solve the flooding issues.

2.IMO, 60 min is too often IF he is letting it all out. I'd let 2-3 hours go by, as a trial.

3. I would not stress over where he poops and just focus on getting him closer to 100% for dry/pee in the toilet.

I sure hope you're having a better day today.

[american_mama]

I agree, don't worry about poop right now. I also think it's clear that there is some degree of stress and power games going on with him, but I am not sure how to address that. Sitting on the potty every 60 minutes is not that stressful and is what I would recommend (less if he cannot hold it that long, but it sounds like he can).

For making sure he releases enough on the potty, I don't know if it's accidental (he doesn't realized he hasnt' relaxed fully and let it all out) or deliberate (he is letting only a little out so that he can pee later in his diaper for whatever reason).

I am just grasping at straws, but have a few suggestions:

1) Keep some cheerios in the bathroom, let him put them in the potty (not toilet) and see if he can let out enough for them to float. That may help him let out more pee. If cheerios float in just a little pee, maybe something bigger... cheetos? (What a gross image, but if it works...). Or maye something that stays sunk and see if he can cover them (big metal nuts from the hardware store, maybe. Although you'd have to superglue them to the bottom of the potty, I guess, to prevent them falling out when dumping). If it motivates him, let him dump the potty and flush the cheerios and pee down the drain.

2) Learning Designs Pull Ups. Never used them, but he may find it motivational to keep the designs from disappearing when wet, and it's somethign he can check himself. It may be something new and self-directed that makes potty training more itneresting.

3) Bring the potty to him when the timer goes off so there is minimal interruption to his play, but I'd only do that extra work if disrupting his play seems to be a big reason why he's resisting. Rather than getting into a verbal argument, I also sometimes picked my kids up and brought them to the bathroom. This only worked sometimes; if they were kicking or being spaghetti person, I usually abandoned it since it was unlikely they would cooperate to get the pants down and/or sit on the potty. But sometimes they just verbally complained while I carried them and would use the potty once I brought them to the bathroom.

4) Keep the timer, but let him decide whether to go. Say "DS, the timer went off. You can use the potty if you want." Ignore it if he screams "I don't want to!" Repeat for several days and see if he decides he wants to do it himself once he realized he's not getting any reaction from you. If he doesn't use the potty and then wets his diaper or pull up, I'd change him only when it's convenient for you and I'd give him minimal chances to do his part in getting changed (get to the designated spot, whatever); after that, it's another half hour or so before you're willing to change him. The goal is to not get engaged in a power play with him.

I have never dealt with regression, so take all my suggestions with a grain of salt.

[HannaAddict]

Take a break. He's not ready. You can't will or make it happen. Just take a break. Try again in a month, and a month after that if still not ready. Don't worry, he won't go to college in a pull-up or even kindergarten. I would really not worry and just try and relax.

[daisymommy]

Take a break. He's not ready. You can't will or make it happen. Just take a break. Try again in a month, and a month after that if still not ready. Don't worry, he won't go to college in a pull-up or even kindergarten. I would really not worry and just try and relax.

I agree. I'd wait 1-2 months, try gently again, repeat as necessary until he decides he's okay with the idea, otherwise I doubt it will stick.


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[mikala]

DS recently potty trained and it was a frustrating experience. The potty training book I read mentioned something about how potty training just amplifies any existing behavior challenges. We hit a wall a couple days into training and finally got over it when I started to deal with potty behavioral stuff the same way I did other behavioral things like resistance to diaper changes. I tried to use playful parenting as much as possible, tried to find his currency and did a lot of "we will do x after you go to the potty" with a few bathroom staredowns until he realized I was serious about not playing/having fun until he gave it a solid try.

I hear you on the accidents around the house. Part of what pushed me to start PTing when I did was the sudden increase in wet pants because he was peeing faster than either cloth or disposable diapers could handle it. He was obviously holding pee and then letting it all go so it seemed like a natural time to redirect that to going on the potty.

In your shoes I'd determine how to proceed based on how the rest of his behavior is going. If you feel like you have a handle on his behavior away from a potty I'd go for it and ditch the pull-ups completely. If you're struggling with behavior elsewhere I'd ease up on this for now and go back to regular ol' diapers.

ETA: re: the timer, DS bristled at frequent requests like that. We had better luck with setting a few times a day that were non-negotiable for going potty, generally the times I previously changed diapers. Between those times I didn't prompt unless I saw a potty dance.