Fed up..

[niccig]

with our old playgroup. We don't get together much anymore and this is why. One person wants to organize a mom night's out. The date is all agreed upon and then either Mom A or Mom B wants to change it to suit their family better. Mom A will never ever get a babysitter and her DH's work changes all the time, so it's very last minute "can we change it because I can't come" and it inevitably screws up someone else who could come. Then there's a flurry of emails back and forth and sometimes the whole thing is cancelled. I've stopped buying groupon deals to do things with them as if the new date means I can't go, I get stiffed.

If everyone else can go and you can't, then you don't go. Simple.

[ha98ed14]

I know exactly what you mean! She's always gotta be the "special case." If someone else couldn't make it, Oh well, maybe next time. If she can't make it, well then stop the train! I finally got up the nerve to say, "Well, I'm going as planned. I will be a SuchnSuch at 7 if anyone wants to meet up." 2 people did come, but perhaps more importantly, I did not feel like she got to steal my MNO! If you can, just go anyway. If not, go get your nails done! This is LA; there's gotta be a 24 hour nail place, right? ;)

[DrSally]

if everyone else can go and you can't, then you don't go. Simple.

ita!!.......

[♥ms.pacman♥]

eek, i'd be fed up too if folks in my mom's group did that!! i'd be shopping for a new playgroup if that happened that often.

our mom's group is on Meetup.com, and it's great using that site. people can rsvp yes or no and change it at the last minute. it's awesome. i've been in for a year and even casual, semi-last minute get togethers are put on the calendar and anyone who wants can attend. it's great so there's none of that "can we change the date so i can come?" crap. I know i would hate that too and i'd be gone as soon as it happened once or twice. that is so childish, and not very respectful of people's time.

[belovedgandp]

Yes, the attitude that their time is somehow more important than everyone else is what I hear.

I was on a committee that was that way. I never really clicked with the personalities anyway, but then when the agreed to date is always being flexed and at least one person would randomly forget. And we're cutting slack for everyone being "so busy" and creating drama, but I'm dutifully hiring sitters and carrying my weight. Gets old really fast.

Equally annoying is the few times when I have had to bow out at the last minute. I am bummed to miss events sometimes, but life does get in the way. Then a busy body will step in on my behalf to get the rest of the group to change. I didn't ask for that help and don't really want it either.

[niccig]

Yes, the attitude that their time is somehow more important than everyone else is what I hear.



This is the attitude. It's more important for them to be there than other people that now can't make it.

I replied that I can't make new time and I know the mother who initiated this get together can't make it either. I'm pretty sure we'll go ahead as it was planned. If not, I will do as suggested and say "well, I've already organized my schedule for DH to be home on this night, so I'm going out. Who wants to join me for a movie?" and just go do something.

[wellyes]

It is not fair that it's socially acceptable to say "change everything for me!" but it's not socially acceptable to reply "sorry but no".

[belovedgandp]

It is not fair that it's socially acceptable to say "change everything for me!" but it's not socially acceptable to reply "sorry but no".

Thank you! This is what I've felt so many times, but never summed up that well.