I hate my family for...

[ha98ed14]

not cleaning up after themselves and leaving it for me to do. I am NOT your maid people! Not! Not! Not! There are only two of you, so you MUST be really bad about this because you would swear a band of gypsies camped out in the living room. I need to get up the nerve to start throwing their stuff away.

[hillview]

this is when i did a clear cut and got rid of 15+ bags of stuff ... I felt SOOO much better. I also love the chore charts (my co-worker joked she needed one for her DH ,,, hummm)

[cuca_]

I hear you. My house is a disaster after the weekend, and I feel like all I do is clean after them. They really don't care, and I hate that I have to yell in order to get anyone to pick up anything around here!!

[ha98ed14]

I hear you. My house is a disaster after the weekend, and I feel like all I do is clean after them. They really don't care, and I hate that I have to yell in order to get anyone to pick up anything around here!!

So true, right? No one cares unless I'm upset. They will sit in their own clutter happily working on the 3rd thing they've dragged out and won't move until I threaten to toss it. I have to be visibly upset for anyone to care. Gah! Gone are the newly wed days when DH actually tired to help me instead of make more work for me. Pisses me off!

I feel like Friday night comes, and the house is a pit from the week's worth of stuff taken out and not put away. I clean it up on Saturday AM, and by Sunday night, they've trashed it again.

[cuca_]

I am convinced my DH is afraid of the dishwasher. He puts everything in the sink, when the dishwasher is just inches away!

[karstmama]

mine walks past the trashcan & puts his plate (with bones, napkins, things that definitely need to be thrown away) at the sink, walking past the dishwasher. so it's really not that helpful, honey, since i have to take it back to the trashcan and put it in the dishwasher...i swear he thinks there are housekeeping fairies.

[ha98ed14]

mine walks past the trashcan & puts his plate (with bones, napkins, things that definitely need to be thrown away) at the sink, walking past the dishwasher. so it's really not that helpful, honey, since i have to take it back to the trashcan and put it in the dishwasher...i swear he thinks there are housekeeping fairies.

Eeww. Why are they suck jackholes about this? He would not do that if he had roommates. He wouldn't be allowed to. How can they be sloppier with us than they would be with a roommates? Mine takes out the butter and leaves it uncovered on the counter. One time a fly got stuck in it. I threw it out as soon as I saw it, but I should have spread it on his toast for a lesson learned.

[glbb35]

So true, so true... I am a maid, janitor, teacher, cook, bring home some bacon worker, laundromat worker, dogs walker and cat feeder, gardner, regular shopper, grocery shopper, b-day party and holiday planner, professional ironer and preparation to activity expert (getting ready for school, outside activity). Then I gave birth to these suckers. You would think that would earn some respect but nooooo. IT is just some days too hard to ask.


Sad but true we do so much with so little respect. I don't expect to be treated like a princess but respected would be great. Just be glad you are at least equipped to be able to do so much.

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09 and 7/11

PS. I am also the constant cleaning out professional. IT is great when they don't even miss something!

[sarahsthreads]

So true, right? No one cares unless I'm upset. They will sit in their own clutter happily working on the 3rd thing they've dragged out and won't move until I threaten to toss it. I have to be visibly upset for anyone to care. Gah! Gone are the newly wed days when DH actually tired to help me instead of make more work for me. Pisses me off!

I feel like Friday night comes, and the house is a pit from the week's worth of stuff taken out and not put away. I clean it up on Saturday AM, and by Sunday night, they've trashed it again.

This is totally us too, especially the bolded. I should NOT have to throw a tantrum to get people to help me clean up THEIR mess. I feel like I have two choices: 1. spend all day every day cleaning up after everyone else, or 2. ignore it until I can't stand it anymore and then throw a tantrum so they'll help me. Because nothing else works to keep (or get) the house clean.

And every time I resolve to sit down and have a rational family meeting about what we can do differently, I get DH shutting down because I say "I need more help" and he hears "You do nothing". And the kids take their cue from him and complain that all they ever do is clean, I just don't see it. Right. That's why there are littered granola bar wrappers near the TV and every toy you own is all over the living room floor. Clearly, you've just been cleaning, I can see that now! :hysterical:

Sarah

[Dcclerk]

I feel you 100%. My meltdowns have been the most effective triggering event for cleanup to happen.

The second most effective strategy has been for me to do a quick sweep of everything that bugs me into a basket, after I have given them a warning to clean up. It takes 2 minutes and then I don't have to look at their crap. The rule is that I periodically take whatever is in that basket to the Goodwill, and I give no notice. They know where the basket is, and they can check on it themselves if they are looking for something.

They also know for certain that if I take care of something, chances are it goes in the trash or is given away, so they have been much more diligent lately :) My DS's backpack ended up in the basket one time, and he didn't have it to bring to school the next day. Bummer for the homework and everything else that day, but that backpack gets back to its spot in the mudroom much more reliably now.

My kids may end up in therapy about my tough love with their crap, but my mental sanity is doing a lot better now:P

[karstmama]

did y'all see on the today show this morning about the mama who just. stopped. picking. up. after her three daughters? they are like 12, 10, and 8, so not toddlers, and it took them 4 or so days of living like absolute pigs to even *notice!*. what a strong smart mama, in my opinion. i pick up after my son, he's 5, but we don't do the kiddos a service to keep on being maids. so what's my excuse for picking up after the 48yo??? i don't have one. :(

[123LuckyMom]

My husband leaves his dishes on the counter next to the sink and directly on top of the dishwasher. Wuh!?! When I ask him to please put his dishes directly in the dishwasher, he does... For a few days. I don't get it!

As for cleaning. I say (straight out of the love and logic books) feel free to keep anything you pick up. If I pick it up, it's mine. If DS says something akin to, "Fine, you pick it up," then whatever it is either stays in toy jail for a day longer than the next time he wants to play with it (if I like and want him to have the toy--like his train set), or it gets donated. Of course I do some talking before just picking it up, so usually he does it, but I refuse to get to the point where I throw a tantrum. We are a family. Everyone needs to help!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ha98ed14]

did y'all see on the today show this morning about the mama who just. stopped. picking. up. after her three daughters? they are like 12, 10, and 8, so not toddlers, and it took them 4 or so days of living like absolute pigs to even *notice!*. what a strong smart mama, in my opinion. i pick up after my son, he's 5, but we don't do the kiddos a service to keep on being maids. so what's my excuse for picking up after the 48yo??? i don't have one. :(

I just googled it. She let it get to the point where there was mold in the sink. I could not go that long without having a tantrum in which case, my family cleans up. I have t give her a lot of credit for her fortitude! I feel so guilty for resenting my family. I wish THEY care that they are living in clutter that could easily turn to filth if nothing is done. But I think it would take them longer than 4 days to notice. We are only 3 people, so clutter here happens more slowly, but it happens all the same.

[queenmama]

My husband leaves his dishes on the counter next to the sink and directly on top of the dishwasher.

I get this at my house, too. And trash on the counter next to the bin. Whyyyyy??? You are literally inches away from saving my sanity but you just can't bring yourself to go 100%? Fuhhhhh.

[gatorsmom]

I am convinced my DH is afraid of the dishwasher. He puts everything in the sink, when the dishwasher is just inches away!

I do this too. But in my own defense, I didn't always do this. I started doing this after I realized I was doing EVERYTHING in the house, including picking up DH's dirty clothes. He will leave them for days on the floor and not put them in the hamper. I finally realized that the one thing he hates is dishes in the sink. If they are sitting in there he will clean them up. And since I can't do everything, I decided that could be his chore. He has complained about it before but when he does I simply say, "I'll start putting my dishes in the dishwasher and running it when you start putting your clothes in the hamper and your shoes in the shoe bin." I'm still picking up his clothes and shoes and he is still washing the dishes. I guess it works for us.

[ha98ed14]

I do this too. But in my own defense, I didn't always do this. I started doing this after I realized I was doing EVERYTHING in the house, including picking up DH's dirty clothes. He will leave them for days on the floor and not put them in the hamper. I finally realized that the one thing he hates is dishes in the sink. If they are sitting in there he will clean them up. And since I can't do everything, I decided that could be his chore. He has complained about it before but when he does I simply say, "I'll start putting my dishes in the dishwasher and running it when you start putting your clothes in the hamper and your shoes in the shoe bin." I'm still picking up his clothes and shoes and he is still washing the dishes. I guess it works for us.

Hey, GO WITH IT! It's working! AT least your husband has SOMETHING that will motivate him enough to spur some action. I got home tonight from a meeting at 9:00. DD was in bed. That is the only good thing I can say. DD's half eaten sandwich was still on the table as were her backpack and lunch box and DH's bike helmet. AND the cardboard box and the green coffee beans from Sweet Maria's that he opened... and then left there. WHY????? WHY CAN YOU NOT PUT IT AWAY, YOU GROWN MAN WITH TWO HANDS AND TWO LEGS THAT ALL WORK FINE. WHY?????????????????????