V question

[alexmommy]

so, DH just got his V. Has anyone here known of anyone with, uh, negative side effects regarding performance or low testosterone levels, or anything backing up and causing pain?

I'm asking b/c DH seems to be spending his entire recovery period googling side effects, and has nearly convinced himself that everything bad will happen to him, that v's are evil, and that he needs a reversal right now. A reversal will mean 10K that insurance won't cover. While I don't feel I can say no if he is seriously in pain, I can think of other uses for the $. Note that DH did no research whatsoever before having this done, and didn't ask me for input beforehand. But that is for the BP... DH is generally a sane, stable person, so not sure what to make of this.

Sorry to ask here, but I can't talk with anyone IRL since DH doesn't want anyone to know he had it done.

[lhafer]

Tell him to walk.away.from.the.computer!!

[alexmommy]

I wish he would stop reading stuff! A package came in the mail today for him, so I hope he starts reading/obsessing about that. Argh... I kinda feel like he's being a drama king. There, I said it. Granted, I haven't had one and never will, but, still... Hope he never reads this board....

[codex57]

What side effects is he worried about?

Is he even reading legit websites?

Does he even know what a vasectomy is?

Is he worried they secretly took out his testes for the black market and replaced them with fakes?

[lhafer]

In all reality, side effects are quite rare for the Vs.

My husband had one - an infection developed because his body wasn't reabsorbing the sperm as fast as it should. He was antibiotics for a bit, and all's been fine ever since. That type of infection is super rare. My husband also has low testosterone, and has since before his V. The V doesn't affect that sort of thing.

[niccig]

Is he worried they secretly took out his testes for the black market and replaced them with fakes?

:hysterical: you are too funny

[hellokitty]

Lol, give him some pain meds to knock him out! My DH was the same way, he kept saying that something was wrong, etc.. Everything was fine, although I found that he seemed more whiny than my friends' DH's who had the same procedure. FWIW, he still says that it's, "not the same." However, I think a lot of that is mental...

[codex57]

There's some discomfort (ok, possibly rising to the level of "pain"), but it's nowhere near the level of what you feel during the procedure. Especially if the doc is tugging and pulling. Or his clamp slides off your body causing unnecessary pulling. Grrrr.

Anyways, he's just upset cuz he can't ejaculate for a while. Blue balls. He'll get over it. You must either be a very accommodating wife or he jacks off all the time. It does feel slightly different coming out (less of that soothing release feeling), but it's a very slight difference. It's a hell of a lot better than condoms.

[hillview]

DH thought something was "off" for a couple of days. Eventually he was fine -- he also went to cross fit class -- lifting weights after a few days (too soon) and felt he pulled something. Again he is fine.

[ang79]

DH and I keep getting into arguments about him getting a V. I have my Mirena in for 1.5 yrs. yet, but after that our insurance doesn't pay for any type of birth control or sterilization and he is the one that says he is done having kids, so I feel its only fair for him to take one for the team, seeing as how I had two vaginal births w/ no drugs. And the V would be the cheapest and least invasive way to go if we are paying out of pocket. He's terrified of any doctor getting near him down there though, how did you all get your hubbies to do it?

[newnana]

DH was begging me to let him get a V for years. YEARS. When I finally allowed it (yes, we're backwards), he swore they replaced the contents of his nuts with broken glass.

He was an enthusiastic, albeit nervous, patient. He followed the doctors orders. He may or may not have been feeling better than expected and let his fingers do the walking a day or 2 too soon. And about 4-5 days after the procedure the broken glass, unkindest cut, I should get a reversal, what have I done, I'll never DTD again, woe is me, internet frenzy took hold and my DH and berzerko man appeared. He got over it. Took about another week.

He's back to his insatiable self and when friends ask about the V, he said it was easy peasy. Apparently that's where those post labor pain amnesia thing they are talking about really kick in. Works for me.

[hillview]

DH and I keep getting into arguments about him getting a V. I have my Mirena in for 1.5 yrs. yet, but after that our insurance doesn't pay for any type of birth control or sterilization and he is the one that says he is done having kids, so I feel its only fair for him to take one for the team, seeing as how I had two vaginal births w/ no drugs. And the V would be the cheapest and least invasive way to go if we are paying out of pocket. He's terrified of any doctor getting near him down there though, how did you all get your hubbies to do it?

for DH it was a non issue. No convincing required -- it just made sense to us.

[codex57]

DH and I keep getting into arguments about him getting a V. I have my Mirena in for 1.5 yrs. yet, but after that our insurance doesn't pay for any type of birth control or sterilization and he is the one that says he is done having kids, so I feel its only fair for him to take one for the team, seeing as how I had two vaginal births w/ no drugs. And the V would be the cheapest and least invasive way to go if we are paying out of pocket. He's terrified of any doctor getting near him down there though, how did you all get your hubbies to do it?

Ditch the Mirena. Make him wear condoms.

We tried the pill. DW kept forgetting. I hate condoms. So, I was the one pushing for the V.

And yes, I do think a lot of the pain is psychological.

[Tondi G]

Ditch the Mirena. Make him wear condoms.

We tried the pill. DW kept forgetting. I hate condoms. So, I was the one pushing for the V.

And yes, I do think a lot of the pain is psychological.

LOL yup use condoms and your hubby will be begging for a vasectomy .... I had to get my iud removed and we have been using condoms since. My poor hubby is always saying "I didn't get married to have to use condoms!" Sorry dude ... it's that or another baby!

[twowhat?]

There's some discomfort (ok, possibly rising to the level of "pain"), but it's nowhere near the level of what you feel during the procedure. Especially if the doc is tugging and pulling. Or his clamp slides off your body causing unnecessary pulling. Grrrr.

Anyways, he's just upset cuz he can't ejaculate for a while. Blue balls. He'll get over it. You must either be a very accommodating wife or he jacks off all the time. It does feel slightly different coming out (less of that soothing release feeling), but it's a very slight difference. It's a hell of a lot better than condoms.

OK I just had to subscribe because this thread is freakin' hilarious. We've been tossing the idea of a V back and forth but DH has yet to bite the bullet. Codex, you crack me up. And for real? It feels different??

Think that this is the same phenomenon as "man cold"?

[codex57]

Think that this is the same phenomenon as "man cold"?

<Sigh> I may be breaking man code, but you ladies seem to have caught on. Yes, for the most part, it's like "man cold". I do think I feel a slight difference. I'm just not sure how much of that is "man cold" as I don't have prior experience with this feeling. For colds, I know how much I'm milking it. :) That said, even if it really is different, it's a HELL of a lot better than using condoms. We're only having sex with each other and are married. There should be no condoms! Bad condoms! Bad! Willy should be free. I've been told the sensation is better for the woman, so really, we're doing it for you.

[ArizonaGirl]

Ok codex seriously I am :rotflmao: dieing right now. Like laughing so hard DH just asked from the other room if I am ok, and suggested maybe I should go to bed because I have become slaphappy...

[smiles33]

And THIS thread is why it's awesome we have men on the BBB! :) I have learned so much, codex.

[niccig]

And THIS thread is why it's awesome we have men on the BBB! :) I have learned so much, codex.

:hysterical: I'm laughing and DH asks why, so I read him Codex's posts and DH wants to know what kind of parenting board I hang out on.

[queenmama]

:hysterical: I'm laughing and DH asks why, so I read him Codex's posts and DH wants to know what kind of parenting board I hang out on.

Mine too! Love it!

(And my DH is getting a V as soon as we have enough in our HSA to cover what insurance won't. No more babies and no more condoms! Hooray!)

[alexmommy]

To answer your questions, codex (and thank you for your male perspective, btw!)

"What side effects is he worried about?"

1) DH is worried about PVP, post-V pain. He keeps talking about his sperm backing up and having no place to go, and that could cause pain. (Thought to myself - so, yeah, it's going to get the size of a beach ball? Really???) 2) Also says websites say it doubles the risk if prostate cancer, but can't find numbers. Doubling, say, a 15% risk is vastly different from doubling a 0.01% risk.
3) He is worried it will lower his testosterone levels.

Note that DH refuses to talk with any guy IRL about it "b/c guys don't talk about such things." DH seems to be of the impression that of the 500K men/year who get this done, that up to 1/3 of them suffer PVP in silence b/c "men don't discuss such thing". I don't know much of the medical field, but it seems to me that if that were true, the FDA would ban it.

"Is he even reading legit websites?"
No clue, he keeps quoting some guy named Dr. Anthony Ellis - easy to google.

"Does he even know what a vasectomy is?" Yes, now he does. He is upset that it cuts the tube and stops the "natural flow" (his words). Um, that's the point...

"Is he worried they secretly took out his testes for the black market and replaced them with fakes? " Hehe. I don't know. I just want my rational, DH back who had a brain and could reason logically.

So he has already contacted places who do reversals to get a consult. When I ask him what b/c methods he is thinking we use instead he "doesn't know", but refuses this as an option. He did mention that he thinks our friends who use NFP may be on to something. I think they are ON something, as DH gets me pregnant easily - both times, 3 mo off the pill, and I was pg. And I'm not very detail -oriented, so I probably wouldn't chart well. And we are def done having kids. Wrt condoms, neither of us like them. Though I did think of that...

As for codex's question, am I an accommodating wife, probably, but hey, it's fun. :) Anyway... I hope like a previous poster, 'bezerko man' leaves soon. I'm going a little crazy myself. Thanks for listening. :)

[codex57]

Hmm, interesting.

Pain from the sperm backing up. Yes, that was my main complaint re: side effects. Rises to the uncomfortable level. I told my wife it was worse. I was trying to get some sympathy attention down there. :) Pain during the procedure itself was sharper I think. In any case, it's temporary. Your body needs time to figure out how to reabsorb the sperm. Explain to him how if he comes in you, it's not like it all leaks out. Your body absorbs it. His just needs to learn how to do the same.

Guys don't talk about such things... until we're joking or making fun of each other about it. But, during those times, real advice is given. I highly doubt the numbers are that high, otherwise men would just discourage each other from doing it more. Even if we didn't "talk about such things", we'd just make another excuse to avoid the V. But we don't. Cuz it's not that bad when it happens.

I googled. Of the non-psychiatry ones... errrr, I've got some ocean front property in Arizona to sell him. If he's reading articles from the psychiatrist Dr. Ellis', then clearly it's all in his head.

It stops some of the flow. Big difference. The other tube still goes.

Not sure where he's getting the lower testosterone stuff. Unless he's thinking black market testes thieves.

[ehlana06]

DH and I keep getting into arguments about him getting a V. I have my Mirena in for 1.5 yrs. yet, but after that our insurance doesn't pay for any type of birth control or sterilization and he is the one that says he is done having kids, so I feel its only fair for him to take one for the team, seeing as how I had two vaginal births w/ no drugs. And the V would be the cheapest and least invasive way to go if we are paying out of pocket. He's terrified of any doctor getting near him down there though, how did you all get your hubbies to do it?

Are you reading my mind? I am preparing for my 3rd drugless vaginal birth and DH is quite insistant that we do not have any more after this... That being said we literally have Friday night Smack Down in our living room the minute I mention a V. He will not even consider it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Dh was all gung ho to get one. Told me that was the plan many times. Then, during a slow day at work, he logged onto Dr. Google and did a complete 180. A V is not even on the table anymore. Doesn't bother me but it did make me chuckle a bit how much he freaked himself out. I can't decide if it's better than my dh did the freaking out before hand and decided no or if he had it done and then freaked out/ considered a reversal. :)

[ccather]

My hubby is the poster child for the big V. I rent him out to our friends to talk other hubbies through it. His claim was that 7 years of the pill, three pregnancies, three unmedicated vaginal births and three years of breastfeeding completed my reproductive obligations to this relationship. In addition to the fact that I would then be free of chemicals that mess with my hormones unfavorably (okay...so he said the pills make me b*tchy.....and he's right!)

Your hubs needs to sit back down and slap some ice on his junk and ride it out. The ice will distract him a while anyway. It would be a shame to undo it at this point. He needs to give it some time, really....

[queenmama]

My hubby is the poster child for the big V. I rent him out to our friends to talk other hubbies through it. His claim was that 7 years of the pill, three pregnancies, three unmedicated vaginal births and three years of breastfeeding completed my reproductive obligations to this relationship. In addition to the fact that I would then be free of chemicals that mess with my hormones unfavorably (okay...so he said the pills make me b*tchy.....and he's right!)

Your hubs needs to sit back down and slap some ice on his junk and ride it out. The ice will distract him a while anyway. It would be a shame to undo it at this point. He needs to give it some time, really....
:bighand:

[hellokitty]

If your reluctant husbands need a little push, have them get their V during march madness. I know some urologists even have special pkgs, just for that time of yr, lol.

The reason my dh agreed to it was because I had three babies, so I told him it was time for him to step up to the plate unless he wanted more babies. Also, if any are scared of having it done while awake. Some docs will do it in the OR. Dh had it done in the OR due to the way his insurance works (his employer is a hospital). They were a little over generous with the meds, it turned out a pt who had the procedure a week before my dh freaked on the table, lol. So they took some extra precautions with the ones after that to decrease another freak out.

[Penny's Pappa]

<Sigh> I may be breaking man code, but you ladies seem to have caught on. Yes, for the most part, it's like "man cold".

Codex, for the crimes of High Treason and Disclosing of Classified Information to the Opposite Sex, I hereby sentence you to the following pursuant to Section 38 of the Bro Code:

1.) Forfeiture of your Man Card
2.) Subjection to a minimum 24-hour Hugh Grant movie marathon. This shall not exceed 36-hours to avoid "cruel and unusual punishment."
3.) Mandatory 6 Months Brobation during which you will work in a Women's Shoe Department performing "Community Service."

For shame, sir. For shame.

[smiles33]

Codex, for the crimes of High Treason and Disclosing of Classified Information to the Opposite Sex, I hereby sentence you to the following pursuant to Section 38 of the Bro Code:

1.) Forfeiture of your Man Card
2.) Subjection to a minimum 24-hour Hugh Grant movie marathon. This shall not exceed 36-hours to avoid "cruel and unusual punishment."
3.) Mandatory 6 Months Brobation during which you will work in a Women's Shoe Department performing "Community Service."

For shame, sir. For shame.

:hysterical: Good thing this board is anonymous so no mob of angry men can track down codex in real life!

[hellokitty]

Codex, for the crimes of High Treason and Disclosing of Classified Information to the Opposite Sex, I hereby sentence you to the following pursuant to Section 38 of the Bro Code:

1.) Forfeiture of your Man Card
2.) Subjection to a minimum 24-hour Hugh Grant movie marathon. This shall not exceed 36-hours to avoid "cruel and unusual punishment."
3.) Mandatory 6 Months Brobation during which you will work in a Women's Shoe Department performing "Community Service."

For shame, sir. For shame.

Lmao! Good one!

[ArizonaGirl]

ok, i just read this all to DH and we are both ROFLMAO dieing right now.

[MamaInMarch]

Codex, for the crimes of High Treason and Disclosing of Classified Information to the Opposite Sex, I hereby sentence you to the following pursuant to Section 38 of the Bro Code:

1.) Forfeiture of your Man Card
2.) Subjection to a minimum 24-hour Hugh Grant movie marathon. This shall not exceed 36-hours to avoid "cruel and unusual punishment."
3.) Mandatory 6 Months Brobation during which you will work in a Women's Shoe Department performing "Community Service."

For shame, sir. For shame.

Freaking awesomely hilarious!!! I love this board!

[twowhat?]

Codex, for the crimes of High Treason and Disclosing of Classified Information to the Opposite Sex, I hereby sentence you to the following pursuant to Section 38 of the Bro Code:

1.) Forfeiture of your Man Card
2.) Subjection to a minimum 24-hour Hugh Grant movie marathon. This shall not exceed 36-hours to avoid "cruel and unusual punishment."
3.) Mandatory 6 Months Brobation during which you will work in a Women's Shoe Department performing "Community Service."

For shame, sir. For shame.

OMG!!! :hysterical: The breaking of the man code was already hella funny and now this!!!