Night-training the older child (long)

[MamaSnoo]

DD is 4.5 yo now. She has been dry in the daytime since age 2.5 y. She is a very heavy sleeper, and has been in a pull-up at night ever since we PTd in the daytime. She wakes up dry about once per month. She had a run for a week about 3 mos ago when she woke up to pee during the night, but she would not go by herself. She just cried until we came and took her to the bathroom (which we did for that week), and then she stopped waking up to go. She has just been sleeping really heavily and wetting her pull-up. I have not been pushing hard on this because she seems like she is not really ready from a waking up to go standpoint.

We have been really working on her taking control of her morning routine. I set a timer, and she has to put her PJs in the laundry basket and get her clothes on. Part of the job is putting her wet pull-up in the garbage can. She ***hates*** handling the wet pull-up. So, now she has decided that she does not want to wear a pull-up at night (so that she does not have to pick it up in the am). So, she is finally motivated.

Thus, for this week, DH and I have been taking turns getting her up to the bathroom. She goes to bed at 8pm, we get her up at 11, 2-3, and 5. She has had a dry bed every night and is really proud of herself! But when we get her up, she is pretty much totally asleep. She does not remember going to the bathroom, and I have to hold her up on the potty most of the time. It is going to wear us out if we have to keep doing this long term.

What do you think? Is this a good approach? Is there something else we could do to encourage her to be able to get up when she needs to? I am not even sure that she needs to get up this much; DH and I are really trying to prevent a wet bed because it would add a lot to my mornings when I am trying to get out for work.

[LMPC]

My first question was going to be one of yours....does she really need to go that many times in a night? To help DD night train (she also really wanted to wear underpants at night), I would take her to the potty at around 10p-11p and then she could make it until the morning. She was pretty asleep when I took her and did hold her on the potty. We did that for about 4 months and then she was able to wake herself when she had the urge to go. We still help her to go to the bathroom if she wakes up at night (but that's more about the apparent monsters that our house is overrun by) -- and she's only had 2 accidents in 6 months (and those were both DH's fault...really, who let's a 3 yo drink 8 oz of water before bed! Grrrr!).

GL! Sounds like you are almost there!!!

[wendibird22]

Have you considered getting a bed wetting alarm? We used one with DD1 (5yo) a few months ago. The first 2 weeks were hard..lots of bed wetting, alarm ringing, etc. Weeks 3 and 4 were better but she was up constantly on her own going pee. By end of week 4 she was dry and we kept up with the alarm for 2 more weeks (per instructions) and no accidents. Since then she's had 1 accident. It was well worth the $100. DD1 is also a heavy sleeper. Us waking her up was miserable. She needed the alarm to fully wake her and to teach her brain to start recognizing the signals of a full bladder. One of the things that is clear in the bed wetting alarm instructions is that the child must be fully awake when using the bathroom and that parents are not to do the waking.

My mom babysat the girls over night this past weekend and even she commented on how amazing that alarm worked and how confident and proud DD1 was of herself for wearing underwear to bed and staying dry.

This is the one we used: http://www.amazon.com/Malem-Ultimate-Bedwetting-Alarm-Vibration/dp/B00070QH64/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1349977464&sr=8-2&keywords=bedwetting+alarm

[JElaineB]

nm.....

[nfowife]

I would probably get some of those new overnights pads that go down on the bed or chux pads that you can throw out for her to sleep on. And I would maybe take her to the bathroom at 11:30 and 3:30....then I would slowly phase out the 2nd one and move the first one later and then phase it out.

My DS is 5.5 and this week we are on day 3 of dry pullup. The longest he's ever had was 4 days and I told him at 5 in a row he could try underwear. I've tried the miralax regimen but it is not his issue (constipation) and the ped isn't concerned until around 7 years old.

[Snow mom]

To me it sounds like you are training yourself, not training her. If she's so groggy that she doesn't even realize you are taking her to the bathroom then you are loosing sleep, she's happy to be dry in the morning, but I can't imagine it's leading to her being able to stay dry at night on her own. I do wonder if people who do this for a long time and then their child is able to stay dry through the night on their own are making forward progress or if their child's body is naturally maturing. I'd be willing to take her before my own bedtime but setting an alarm to get her up at a certain time just would not happen here. I'd also be cautious about doing anything to reinforce her being upset about being wet in the morning as I'd assume this is not something she can choose not to do.

[wendibird22]

To me it sounds like you are training yourself, not training her. If she's so groggy that she doesn't even realize you are taking her to the bathroom then you are loosing sleep, she's happy to be dry in the morning, but I can't imagine it's leading to her being able to stay dry at night on her own. I do wonder if people who do this for a long time and then their child is able to stay dry through the night on their own are making forward progress or if their child's body is naturally maturing. I'd be willing to take her before my own bedtime but setting an alarm to get her up at a certain time just would not happen here. I'd also be cautious about doing anything to reinforce her being upset about being wet in the morning as I'd assume this is not something she can choose not to do.

I totallly agree. The alarm worked well because it wasn't us having to shake her awake at preset times but her body learning to wake up when the urge arises. We were super low key about the alarm and told DD1 that if at anytime she was upset or frustrated by it we'd stop. She was actually proud of it and showed the alarm and corresponding chart to cousins, grandparents, etc. And best of all when she does have a random accident (like last night...first one in over a month), she's not at all upset by it. She just wakes me up, tells me about it, and helps clean herself up and change the bed. She used to meltdown because she was half asleep and wet and mad, now it's just a no biggie. Love it.

[jse107]

IMHO I wouldn't work on the night-training. She'll get it herself as she gets older. My DS didn't night-train until he was 6yo and DD seems to be on that path too. It just wasn't worth the headaches for me and frustration for the kids. I'm not going to send them to college in Pull-Ups, so I'm letting nature take its course.

[hillview]

IMHO I wouldn't work on the night-training. She'll get it herself as she gets older. My DS didn't night-train until he was 6yo and DD seems to be on that path too. It just wasn't worth the headaches for me and frustration for the kids. I'm not going to send them to college in Pull-Ups, so I'm letting nature take its course.
:yeahthat:
DS night trained at almost 6 -- with accidents every week or 2. Once he turned 7 he was accident free.

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/Bed-Wetting-Enuresis.aspx
"Bed-wetting is normal and very com*mon among preschoolers, affecting 40 percent of children at age three. It is much less frequent in school-age children, occurring in 20 percent of five-year-olds, 10 percent of six-year-olds, and 3 percent of twelve-year-olds. Thus, during the middle years of childhood, parents may want to seek the assistance of their pedia*trician in an effort to reduce or eliminate bed-wetting, or enuresis."

[MamaSnoo]

To me it sounds like you are training yourself, not training her. If she's so groggy that she doesn't even realize you are taking her to the bathroom then you are loosing sleep, she's happy to be dry in the morning, but I can't imagine it's leading to her being able to stay dry at night on her own. I do wonder if people who do this for a long time and then their child is able to stay dry through the night on their own are making forward progress or if their child's body is naturally maturing. I'd be willing to take her before my own bedtime but setting an alarm to get her up at a certain time just would not happen here. I'd also be cautious about doing anything to reinforce her being upset about being wet in the morning as I'd assume this is not something she can choose not to do.

Yeah- I share this concern, which is why I posted in the first place. DH thinks this is the way to go, but I cannot really see an end in sight. He wants to slowly puch bad her pee breaks until we phase them out.

Of course, now DD does not want to wear a pull-up at all. (She does not want to have to carry them to the trash can in the am.) She does not get upset if she is wet in the bed in the am, which has only happened a few times, and we certainly would not give her a hard time about that. I agree that this is not an issue of her choice or her behavior per se, more an issue of bladded maturity. I do not think I like where things are going with our current approach......I may be up a few times every night for a while!

[ZeeBaby]

I would eliminate the 2-3 wake up and see how she does. If she does well I would push the 5am to 6am. There is nothing wrong with a few accidents. I think that really helps to get them to understand that they need to get up when they feel the urge to go.