OK...help

[Melaine]

We need help!! I think DH is ready to CIO but I think he is too young. But I really need help with a gentle way of getting improvement, even if it is very gradual.

DS is 6 months. Do to his issues, I have not been as good with following the rules (w/ DDs we were great about routine, down awake but sleepy. etc). He has reflux, MSPI that is not yet resolved, and is seriously the lightest sleeper ever. He was doing ok from about 6 weeks to 3 months when he was waking 1-2 times a night. He was sleeping in the FP rock 'n play which was great. Naps were, and are, almost non-existent. Then he regressed big time and had a cold so I started nursing him in bed out of desperation. He outgrew the rock 'n play.

Now he will not fall asleep in the crib. He will wake up usually immediately if I put him down asleep in the crib. He is waking probably 10 times a night, even in the bed with us. He sleeps fitfully, and kicks me all night. DH is 6' 4" and we have a queen bed. There is NOT room for DS to sleep safely and me to be comfortable. If we had a king I would be ok with it.

Again, don't want to CIO, but I am desperate.

[DietCokeLover]

First, :hug5:. Second, Not sure if you remember all the sleep difficulty we had with DS (waking up 12 times per night for 11 months). We honestly never got a good solution and the only thing that helped was when he started walking (down from 12 to about 5). So, just to give you some ideas that we tried in hopes they work better for you than they did for us: white noise machine, cool room, lullaby music, very subtle vibrations on the bed, and my shirt with my "smell" on it in the bed with him.

[Melaine]

I had forgotten about that! yikes.

We do have a fan. I could definitely try lullabies. I do wonder if he will sleep better once he gets crawling, he is also SO wiggly. I think he'll be happier once he's more mobile.

[Simon]

We were told that CIO isn't even an option with reflux babies because all the crying exacerbates their problems and they end up with pain/more issues. Your Drs may have different opinions.

We have had good luck with the pick-up/put-down techniques and also attended crying (for lack of a better term).

The pick-up/put down really limits their crying, while trying to get them more content sleeping in their bed. So, let them fall asleep however works best, then lay them down and either right away or for their first wake-up that isn't out of hunger, you pick them up and hold/pat/sing/shush until they are calm and then lay them down and pat/rub/sing/shush while they are laying down. Baby starts crying? pick up again, help calm down, lay down and continue helping, more crying=pick-up, rinse and repeat, etc. It does require a lot of repetition at first, but we have found it works pretty well within about 10-15 minutes. We often end with them falling asleep on our shoulder (because they are getting really tired) and then just staying asleep when we lay them down the last time but it has led to longer periods of sleep and much faster getting back to sleep after non-hunger wake-ups.

I also had some luck with laying down next to Ds while he lay down (drowsy but awake) and cried and I just rubbed/patted/shushed/sang next to him. This was when we had him napping on a twin bed+side rain. I did end up picking him up to calm him down because he just wasn't falling asleep and was getting really upset, but he did sleep longer/better right away for naps and a while afterward, so it had the intended effect even though we didn't follow all the way through.

Neither one has been a perfect solution, but I know we're facing wake-ups due to ear infections and Ds3 learning to stand up so we're only seeing improvement and not full STTN here.

[okinawama]

Are you sure his reflux is under control? If he's waking even when he's in bed with you it's clear he's not waking out of the desire to be closer/comforted by you, so could it be possible that he's waking out of pain? 6 months was the peak of our reflux issues with DS2, and he was waking 10-15 times a night out of pain.

If you're confident it's not pain could it be that he is unable to transition from one sleep cycle to the next without your help? If he's used to being nursed to sleep all the time, he may come out of one sleep cycle ( for infants I think the sleep cycle is 45 minutes), and rather than come out of the light sleep phase and begin to transition back into the deeper phase on his own, he can't because he's so used to being breastfed to fall asleep. Does that make any sense at all?

Hugs! That type of sleep deprivation is brutal! I hope you're able to find something that works for you and your LO to get some sleep!!

[Melaine]

Thanks Simon...I had not heard that about reflux but it makes sense. I'm definitely not willing to let him cry for any extended amount of time, so that's ok.

What you describe, I guess that is pretty much what I have been trying to do for naps. I just spent about 20 minutes trying to soothe him to sleep and he finally fell asleep in his crib so I was all like yay and then he woke up 10 minutes later. We just have such a small house and with the kids and the dog it is SO hard to go through this tedious routine for such a little bit of sleep. And then inevitably getting woken up or just waking up. Argh.

[Melaine]

I'm not sure his reflux is under control. We did just up his meds Wed. because of that weird noise he was making. I swear today he sounds a tad hoarse which terrifies me because that was thing that happened before he came down with croup. But can hoarseness be reflux? My ped. is unwilling to do other meds besides Zantac.

[Sopamanda]

Your ped won't do Prevacid? Why on earth???

I was afraid of the repercussions as well but we were desperate. Turns out a friend of my husbands is a PA. I later found out they had to give their kiddo Prevacid 2x day, which is what we're giving judith. I'm not sure why this gave me such comfort but it does.

Have you seen the ped GI? Bet they'd give something else. Our ped GI said of the kids need to be on Prevacid they usually have to be on it 2x day due to their fast metabolisms. It helped with Judith.

We gOt the ticket sling and although it helps and it's safe, right now she prefers the carseat. I know. Problem? She's sitting up and in the sling she strains to sit up. Well she can't. Enter carseat. What's your climate? When it got cold we heated up her sling with a heating pad. Didn't do the trick but could be worth a try so long as your careful.

Is he on an incline?
Btw she's 7 months now. We're only waking 3 or 4 times per night. It's way better than before. It gets better. She's also sitting and scooting now, which definitely makes her happier. It did not worsen her reflux as far as I can tell but she's on the Prevacid 2x day.

I'm on fb way more than here, feel free to friend me (any reflux mom. We're all we have!)

[okinawama]

That's a bummer about the doc. Prilosec really was the turning point for us! Zantac just took the edge off, Prevacid gave me a pain free LO!

[rin]

Do you have a white noise machine? We also have a small house and a dog, and we've found that the only way we can make sure the baby gets decent naps is to turn the white noise up fairly high to mask the sounds of crazy preschoolers and barking dogs, etc.

Also, have you tried putting a wedge under his crib mattress? If he's still dealing with reflux issues, having some incline might help.

[wellyes]

Please, please, please feel free to ignore this but - in your shoes - I would try Ferber. DD was a terrible sleeper. I waited until 8.5 months (and me going INSANE) and it was shockingly effective, fast. I really wish I'd tried it earlier, for all of our sakes. Including her, she was better off getting that rest. For us, it was a completely turnaround after less than a week of charting. I believe Dr Ferber recommends it for 5.5 months and older.

[Melaine]

Please, please, please feel free to ignore this but - in your shoes - I would try Ferber. DD was a terrible sleeper. I waited until 8.5 months (and me going INSANE) and it was shockingly effective, fast. I really wish I'd tried it earlier, for all of our sakes. Including her, she was better off getting that rest. For us, it was a completely turnaround after less than a week of charting. I believe Dr Ferber recommends it for 5.5 months and older.

I am interested in reading (again) exactly what Ferber entails. I am not against the idea necessarily. I'm just against letting him cry with no rhyme, reason or plan. Is there a website with all the info? I don't really feel like reading the book.

[Melaine]

My doctor said something about other meds not being approved or something. I don't know. I am on-again off-again with her. Somedays I like her somedays I want to break up.

We do have a fan which I have always felt like made more noise that the machines but maybe I am wrong? Earlier he seemed to be really asleep and the floor creaked and he was awake. We are talking REALLY light sleeper.

[okinawama]

We do have a fan which I have always felt like made more noise that the machines but maybe I am wrong? Earlier he seemed to be really asleep and the floor creaked and he was awake. We are talking REALLY light sleeper.

We swear by fans here as well. It provides enough white noise to block out all the miscellaneous neighborhood sounds and screaming and running noises from my 3yo.

I am not anti CIO, but for me, if there was any question in my mind that his reflux was still causing him pain, there would be no way I could leave him to cry. I'd never leave my injured child alone to cry in his room, I view acid reflux pain as the same thing. It's acid burning his esophagus, that's painful, so CIO would be a no go unless I was absolutely sure he wasn't crying out in pain.