Need opinions on bedroom setup for DD and DS

[edurnemk]

I need some opinions on the best BR setup for our family.

Backstory in the BP: http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=3626508#post3626508

Our new apartment has 3 bedrooms, a formal living and dining room, and a spacious family room (not as big as we have now, no room for the kids' play area there, since we'll use part of it as a study/office area and DH refuses to have toys in the family room anymore). DS will be 5 yo in 3 months, he's VERY active, boisterous, messy. DD is 3 months old and still sleeping in our room, probably until she's 6 months old. She's more sensitive to noises and such than DS ever was as a baby, she wakes more easily.

So what I've planned to do is give each kid their own BR (DS gets the bigger one), and have their toys in each of their rooms (DS currently has about 90% of his in his room, only a few bigger items, art stuff and board games in the family room, but he plays a lot in there). My reasoning for this is that: there's a big age gap between them (4. years), DS is very noisy, seriously he cannot regulate the volume of his voice; DS has a lot of big boy toys now with tons of tiny pieces (a.k.a. choking hazards) so I'd rather not have them in the same room as DD's toys (I think it's easier to keep her out of DS's room than to supervise her 100% of the time in a shared playroom); I think it will be easier to keep DS out of DD's hair during nap times if she's in HER room instead of THEIR room. Also it will be a tight fit with DS's bed and nightstand, DD's crib and changing table, plus there's not enough drawers in the closet for the both of them, so I'd need to get a dresser and it won't fit in there.

Well now DH wants them to share a room, and use the 3rd bedroom as a playroom and office. I already told him that's a terrible combo, since how is he supposed to work in there when they play? He agreed with that, but the thing is he's so messy (you should see the mountains of cr@p he accumulates on his desk), so I think he wants a space with a door to keep it out of sight instead of me nagging him to clean up every time someone comes over. I think it would be a better idea to put a desk in our BR (it's a large room and has sort of a nook which would be ideal), in any case. He insists on them sharing a BR and the other room being their playroom. His latest argument is that he wants them to share for a while, so when we move to a house they will truly feel like we've expanded and they finally have their own space, and also so they'll learn to share. This coming from the man who was opposed to them sharing a room just 6 months ago :30:.

Ok so after my very long rant, tell me, how would you use each room? Am I being unreasonable? Is it a good idea for a baby and a 5 yo to share a bedroom?

[ellies mom]

There is a 4.5 year difference between the girls and we tried having them share a room for a while when DD2 transitioned out of her crib. They said they wanted to share and I wanted to use DD2's room as a craft room. Let me tell you. It did not last long. Either DD1 would be too loud when DD2 was trying to sleep or DD2 would keep bugging DD1 when she needed to sleep. They just would not settle down to sleep. So we moved DD2 back into her original room.

Right now, the husband has his desk on one side of our bed and my craft area is on the other side of the bed. I could use more room but it works. I think putting his office in the nook of your bedroom sounds like the best idea. And the rest of his reasons really sound like he is reaching. I shared a room until I was 17 so I know that the kids won't be neglected having to share a room but why deal with the hassle if you don't need to.

[wellyes]

Why can't he just have an office in the baby's room? She won't need much space for another year or so.

[crl]

I would not have a baby and a five year old share a bedroom unless I had no other options.

Neither of my kids is a great sleeper and if I tried to put them together no one would get any sleep. They don't go to bed or wake up at the same times. And dd (now two and a half) has woken up when someone walks into her room since she was about six months old. No way at all to put another kid to bed in the room without waking her. And she has gone to bed between six and seven this whole time, way too early for a five year old. Plus dd naps so then older ds would be cut off from his room during her naps.

And I do make ds keep all of his choking hazard toys in his room. Much easier than trying to supervise their use in a joint space. Not to mention that ds gets really frustrated when dd destroys his creations (he builds elaborate sets with unit blocks). Once dd hit about 18 months she just knocked his stuff over until he finally gave up and started building only in his room.

I would put the office in the master bedroom, give each kid a bedroom, make the family room the playroom and use the living room for adult seating. If dh really doesn't want the office in the bedroom, can you eat in the kitchen and use the dining room as an office?

IMO you are not being unreasonable and he is insane to suggest that a baby and a five year old and a baby share a bedroom and a playroom.

Catherine

[edurnemk]

Thank you, ladies, for validating my opinion!



Why can't he just have an office in the baby's room? She won't need much space for another year or so.

When he works at home (evenings and sometimes a bit during the weekends) he works until really late, takes confernece calls, etc. so I dont't think she'd be able to sleep. i don't mind having him work in our BR, plus he could always use my desk in the familiy room for late night work / calls.

Re: using the dining room as an office, that's what he does now, but neither of us likes it since we have a very open floor plan and his mess is visible as soon as you walk in. We eat in the breakfast nook off the kitchen, but we both want a presentable dining room, plus we do have guests over occasionally for dinner. I still think having his desk in the family room or our BR is a reasonable option.

What frustrates me the most is that the entire reason we're moving is so each kid could have their own room!

[edurnemk]

And I do make ds keep all of his choking hazard toys in his room. Much easier than trying to supervise their use in a joint space. Not to mention that ds gets really frustrated when dd destroys his creations (he builds elaborate sets with unit blocks). Once dd hit about 18 months she just knocked his stuff over until he finally gave up and started building only in his room.


These are 2 more of my arguments, I've been drilling this into DS since before DD was born: "you'll have to keep your small toys in your room out of her reach!" Well how is he supposed to do that in a shared playroom? plus he also builds with legos everyday.

ETA I think he got this lame idea when we went to look at the apt. because the previous tenants of the new apt. Were still living there and they had their girls share a room and had the 3rd BR as a playroom and office. Well, their girls are 1.5 years apart! And they're 4 and 6 now, they can share toys with tiny pieces! Our circumstances are very different!

[HannaAddict]

I would give them each their own bedroom, no question. We moved and bought a new house to get a new bedroom after child number two and then again after baby number three It is imperative for all to get good sleep and I don't feel like a five year old and infant are a good combo. Safety reasons too (five year old helping and baby gets hurt). Carve out some of the space in the living area for an office. I would do anything and everything to have both children have their own bedrooms at this stage. No way would I use it as an office.

[edurnemk]

I would give them each their own bedroom, no question. We moved and bought a new house to get a new bedroom after child number two and then again after baby number three It is imperative for all to get good sleep and I don't feel like a five year old and infant are a good combo. Safety reasons too (five year old helping and baby gets hurt). Carve out some of the space in the living area for an office. I would do anything and everything to have both children have their own bedrooms at this stage. No way would I use it as an office.

He's agreed to putting the office space elsewhere, but he insists they should share a bedroom and the other room should be their shared playroom. Why did he get this into his head when at first he was the one who insisted DD needed her own room, is beyond me.

I made a lst of pros and cons of each setup, since he'sa engineer he needs to see things laid out ike that, and who am I kidding, I'm also an engineer and love making spreadsheets :rotflmao:

ETA I agree with the safety aspect, I posted back in July about DS trying to take 2 week old DD out of her crib to rock her to sleep. I even started puting up a safety gate in my BR door, in addition to having a serious talk with him. I never leave him alone with her, because despite his best intentions he can e a little rough and overestimates hs abilty todo things for DD.