When it stinks to be an only....

[DietCokeLover]

When you have elderly parents - one who has dementia and one who is going likely to be in a rehab hospital for a while.... And you live 1000+ miles away and have a husband, 2 small children, a private counseling practice, and a hotel to run.

I can't be in two much needed places at one time.

It just really stinks.

[KLD313]

Yep, I really felt it when my dad died and my mom is alone and very needy. It sucks. I'm sorry.

[arivecchi]

That's so tough. Can they move to live near you?

[TwoBees]

:hug::grouphug:

[hopeful_mama]

:grouphug: This is one of the reasons we didn't want just an only. Best wishes to you all.

[123LuckyMom]

I'm so sorry! Hugs to you!

[Globetrotter]

:hug: I have a sibling who does very little, but at least he is there. It must be so hard. Can they move closer to you? I am going through this issue with my parents and they are very reluctant to move.

[crl]

I am so sorry. My mom is an only and went through this with her parents so I know how hard it is. She did say at the time that at least she never had to argue with anyone about what was the best thing to do. It was all her responsibility, but at least there was no conflict.

:grouphug:

Catherine

[niccig]

I am so sorry. My mom is an only and went through this with her parents so I know how hard it is. She did say at the time that at least she never had to argue with anyone about what was the best thing to do. It was all her responsibility, but at least there was no conflict.

:grouphug:

Catherine

My mum has 2 siblings and all the responsibility still came to her and then both sisters would disagree with her and each other. My grandmother's care was a nightmare, but at least mum lived close by. Any chance they'll move, so you can be closer? I think the distance is the greatest issue for caring for elderly parents.

[DietCokeLover]

I had finally convinced them to move to be closer to me and the house is on the market. Unfortunately, this has derailed some of this as my mom is still in the hospital. I was hoping we would avoid any medical situations until they moved, but that isn't how it has worked out.

[Globetrotter]

This is a wake-up call to me, to get them moving before something happens, if at all. The problem is, even though we just went through something major, things are getting back to normal and they have forgotten how hard it was on all of us for me to live so far away. I hope your mom recovers soon, and I'm glad she has accepted that they need to move nearby.

[hellokitty]

:hug: I'm so sorry. Taking are of every life responsibilities and elderly parents is hard enough, but to do it alone w/o any sibling help is even worse. I hope that you can work it out and be able to hire some help for yours parents.

[mytwosons]

I'm so sorry. I'm not an only, but I was the only one dealing with any of these issues.

I had no idea how much work is involved and how hard it is having elderly parents until I had to move mine. I had two friends, who had already been through all of this with their parents, offer to help me with anything. I wouldn't have gotten through without them. I will now insist on helping other friends when their time comes.

If you haven't, please reach out to your IRL friends for support. :hug5:

[stefani]

:grouphug: I am not an only, but my only sibling is just as far away from our parents as I am, and she has a younger child. So I still feel very responsible for my parents.

[brittone2]

I have 4 siblings, but am pretty sure they will not be able to reliably help in any way when we get to that point. My parents are currently 9 hrs away and I am desperately hoping they downsize and move to a condo near me in the next few years. I know I'm going to be the one taking them to appts, checking up on them, etc. and it is a little scary to know I'll probably be doing it mostly alone. My siblings would be able to provide me some emotional support but that's about it.

I have a dear friend who just lost her dad and is helping her mom with treatment for cancer right now, and her siblings are all working together so well. That is such a gift!

Hang in there :hug:

[boolady]

I have 4 siblings, but am pretty sure they will not be able to reliably help in any way when we get to that point.

Not that this will make OP feel better, but I was going to post something similar. My mom's parents were sick--first one, then the other, for many years, and even though my mom was one of three, they were her responsibility 99.9% of the time. My aunt would have helped more, but literally lives on the opposite coast, and my uncle's visits were pretty much limited to seeing what he could sneak out of my grandparents' attic without them noticing. My mom (or my dad, who tried to help as much as he could) were at my grandparents' house at least once a day, usually twice, for years. So, having siblings doesn't always mean that one person won't be solely responsible. I know it's tough-- hang in there.

[Toba]

Seeing how the house is on the market, I would snap it up if you can. Your dad can move closer right away (I'm assuming his Alzheimer's is getting worse?) and then as soon as your mom is released, she can move into her new home. Maybe it will be less stressful for you also to be able to do this while they're not there? And maybe getting POA for them would help with you getting the house bought and ready to move in when it's time. Just throwing ideas out there ... I really feel for your situation.

[crl]

Seeing how the house is on the market, I would snap it up if you can. Your dad can move closer right away (I'm assuming his Alzheimer's is getting worse?) and then as soon as your mom is released, she can move into her new home. Maybe it will be less stressful for you also to be able to do this while they're not there? And maybe getting POA for them would help with you getting the house bought and ready to move in when it's time. Just throwing ideas out there ... I really feel for your situation.

I think it is the house her parents currently live in that is up for sale, not a place near her.

Catherine

[DietCokeLover]

I think it is the house her parents currently live in that is up for sale, not a place near her.

Catherine

:yeahthat: they have their current home on the market. It needs to sell before they can afford to move.