Sibling Rivalry

[infomama]

I just want one day. One day where i am not playing ref by breakfast. I need to dig back into Siblings Without Rivalry and pray it's the answer.
Sigh....

[hillview]

humph, good luck. I am with you

[♥ms.pacman♥]

ugh i know the feeling. sometimes i wish i could put each in their own bubble so they wouldn't touch each other. LOL. i need to get that book.

[Green_Tea]

I feel your pain. And, sad to say, have had zero luck with SWR.

[twowhat?]

I think this'll last forever. I hope I am pleasantly surprised.

[teresah00]

I feel your pain! DD's school was out all last week bc of sandy.


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[ha98ed14]

Not to hijack this thread, but... to hijack the thread:

I have a question: Some posters in the "How many kids do you & your sibs have?" thread in the Lounge have expressed sadness that their families are small and children don't have more siblings and/or cousins.

Does the persistent sibling rivalry influence/impact one's feelings about how many children they have? In other words, would you want more children knowing that it would increase the sibling rivalry issues and require you to play umpire more than you already do?

[infomama]

Does the persistent sibling rivalry influence/impact one's feelings about how many children they have? In other words, would you want more children knowing that it would increase the sibling rivalry issues and require you to play umpire more than you already do?

If we could have more, I wouldn't think twice about this as a deciding factor.
My age? Yes.
Financial preparedness? yes.
Needs of our current children? Yes.

Sibling rivalry? No.

[mommylamb]

My sister and I fought a lot when we were kids. Now that we're both adults, and both mothers, we're very close. I know it's a long way off, but there is hope. I mean, we fought a LOT as kids.

[cuca_]

If we could have more, I wouldn't think twice about this as a deciding factor.
My age? Yes.
Financial preparedness? yes.
Needs of our current children? Yes.

Sibling rivalry? No.


My sister and I fought a lot when we were kids. Now that we're both adults, and both mothers, we're very close. I know it's a long way off, but there is hope. I mean, we fought a LOT as kids.

:yeahthat: I don't want any more children, but if I did, sibling rivalry would not be a consideration. Mostly, because like mommylamb said, my sister and I fought like crazy growing up, but are very close as adults.

To PP, I feel your pain, my two middle kids fight like crazy. There is a fight going on as we speak. They are very impatient with each other, and know how to push each other buttons!

[California]

Has anyone else noticed a trend with their kids fighting more during the school year then they do (after a 2-3 week adjustment period) in the summer? I'm starting to wonder if my kids are taking out their school-related stress on each other.

And to answer PP question, no, sibling rivalry wouldn't play into our decision. I look at it as a long term deal. I adore my sibs and partners- we're getting this wonderful long stretch of adulthood as friends. No guarantees kids will grow up to be friends, of course, but we are doing our best to instill it as a family value. Same thing can happen for onlies with cousins and friends when parents include them in family life.

[Mopey]

My sister and I fought a lot when we were kids. Now that we're both adults, and both mothers, we're very close. I know it's a long way off, but there is hope. I mean, we fought a LOT as kids.

This exactly.

[Green_Tea]

Does the persistent sibling rivalry influence/impact one's feelings about how many children they have? In other words, would you want more children knowing that it would increase the sibling rivalry issues and require you to play umpire more than you already do?

Not in the least. In fact, sometimes adding another kid to the mix diffuses the rivalry. Regardless, it's not a consideration for me. My sisters and I fought like cats growing up, and now they're my best friends.

[hopeful_mama]

ugh i know the feeling. sometimes i wish i could put each in their own bubble so they wouldn't touch each other. LOL. i need to get that book.

"But Moooooooooom, her bubble is touching MY bubble!!!!"

[twowhat?]

"But Moooooooooom, her bubble is touching MY bubble!!!!"

LOL when the twins were younger I actually tried to separate them using the superyard because I was tired of listening (and constantly refereeing) to their fighting and screaming (they weren't even walking yet - just crawling!). And then they started screaming because they couldn't get AT each other to fight. You really just can't win!

[queenmama]

Does the persistent sibling rivalry influence/impact one's feelings about how many children they have? In other words, would you want more children knowing that it would increase the sibling rivalry issues and require you to play umpire more than you already do?

No from me, too. We didn't have more children because we couldn't have more children, and now that we've finally been blessed with another, we feel like what we have is good: two "only" children, basically. They will likely not have much conflict, due to their age differences.

My younger older sister (make sense?) and I were the only ones at home together, really, because the older sibs were MUCH older step-sibs and out of the house early in our lives, so we were the only ones that ever had cause to fight. Even so, I can only remember us fighting once. Maybe because we're 4 years apart? I was very much a tag-along and I probably annoyed the heck out of her, but she was very good to me.

Lara

[hillview]

Not to hijack this thread, but... to hijack the thread:

I have a question: Some posters in the "How many kids do you & your sibs have?" thread in the Lounge have expressed sadness that their families are small and children don't have more siblings and/or cousins.

Does the persistent sibling rivalry influence/impact one's feelings about how many children they have? In other words, would you want more children knowing that it would increase the sibling rivalry issues and require you to play umpire more than you already do?
Not a factor at all. In fact in some ways I have wondered if having another might lessen the issue (strange I know).

Has anyone else noticed a trend with their kids fighting more during the school year then they do (after a 2-3 week adjustment period) in the summer? I'm starting to wonder if my kids are taking out their school-related stress on each other.


For sure my kids fight more after school, esp DS1, IF they've had a bad day or stress at school.

[BabyBearsMom]

My sister and I fought viciously for years and I mean viciously. I really feel bad for my mom during that time. But now, my sister is my best friend and I wouldn't want a life without her as a major part of it. So there is hope.