No big Thanksgiving- should I feel more ashamed?

[gatorsmom]

For the 5th year in a row, I"m not cooking a big Thanksgiving meal. :yay: DH and I discussed it today and once again we are ordering our meal from a place that does delicious Thanksgiving meals (Kowalskis in the twin cities area). I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I don't have to approach the holidays worrying about that. In fact, I can be excited because the food is really good and I can relax and enjoy friends and family. I'm going to invite my brother's family and they might come and possibly a new family in town. I am thrilled that I can look forward to it and know that the only thing I have to prepare is the house. Should I feel ashamed that I"m not doing more work? I might make an extra pie or two. But that's it.

And after that's done I can start to freak out about Xmas. :dizzy:

[Smillow]

Good for you! Don't waste a minute feeling ashamed! Enjoy:)

[brittone2]

Are you kidding? No shame at all! :thumbsup:

[TwinFoxes]

Ordering a yummy meal? Where's the shame in that :)

[minnie-zb]

No -- I think it is great. I will admit I'm not a huge Thanksgiving fan. I like it, but I'm not in love with it. I think it is a lot of work and I'm normally exhausted by the end of the day.

[doberbrat]

I dont get why you'd feel guilty? You're having food, family & friends. Just b/c you didnt personally slave over a stove for days doesnt make it any less festive. The rest of us are just jealous and :bowdown: to you for havign the holiday you want.

[StantonHyde]

I don't care where the food comes from as long as it is good and I get to eat at home vs a restaurant. Sounds like you have all the bases covered!!

[kara97210]

No shame at all. Last year I killed myself on Thanksgiving and made everything for 18 people. I didn't enjoy myself at all, and I love to cook and entertain. This year I am streamlining the menu and buying 1/2 the meal. I've already ordered pies from a great bakery (can not believe I made 4 pies last year). I think your idea is really smart.

[WitMom]

I love Kowalski's!!!! And you are having a big Thanksgiving....it's not like you're canceling the holiday or anything, you're just not cooking. If someone invited you to their home for the holiday, you'd go, offer to bring a dish or bottle of wine or pie or whatever, and not feel guilty. This is pretty much the same, in my view.

[schrocat]

Absolutely not. We just started ordering our Thanksgiving dinner from Whole Foods last year and it was the best Thanksgiving ever for my family. No stress about the turkey and food. We're doing it again this year. That's our new Thanksgiving tradition.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I read the Whole Foods menu with longing so no guilt from me about doing turkey day that way!

[Twoboos]

The two times I've hosted Thanksgiving, I have started with a whole ordered dinner. Rounded it out with some homemade sides. No regrets!!!

Don't feel any guilt at all!

[crl]

Good lord, no. I wouldn't be ashamed at all. I hope you have a wonderful holiday concentrating on the things that matter to you!

Catherine

[mackmama]

That's fantastic. The Tdays that I have enjoyed the most are when we ordered in most of the food or kept it super low-key. Imo Tday is about the friends, family, and sharing - not the food.

[Philly Mom]

NO! My mom always had 40+ people at our house for Passover. She cooked everything and never got to enjoy the holiday or the people. Two years ago, we decided that it was crazy. Last year she ordered food just for immediate family (still 15 people) and had someone else to work the kitchen, set the table, etc. She did nothing. It was amazing. She will never cook again for Passover even though I am trying to convince her to at least make her soup because it is that good. :) I love the idea that you will actually spend time as a family versus stressing about the food. Enjoy it! Sounds yummy

[echoesofspring]

No shame at all, I think sometimes the image of the perfect holiday vastly exceeds the reality of it. My best recent memories of holidays are ones where we totally bucked convention - the beach for thanksgiving, ham sandwiches for lunch and we picked up a pumpkin pie on the way home. Taking MIL & FIL out for thanksgiving since it's usually just the 4 of us, we all had a wonderful time, even though DH had been convinced there was no way they would go for it, etc. Bailing on Xmas in the midst of high family drama and spending the weekend just the two of us in SF, etc. You have to do what works for your family, this year...

[DualvansMommy]

No shame at all! I don't usually host turkey day, as someone else in the family has the dibs to host it. But I usually host & cook Xmas eve for my family, which is a lot lot of work considering my in laws (parents, bro in law & cousins) their spouses and kids come up to 35 people. Didn't enjoy it at all!!! Then last year, because I had a new baby, one of cousins offered to host same holiday for same crowd at her place, and she did the same thing you're doing!!

So I told DH that's what I'll be doing whenever it's my turn to host! No way ever, I'll be cooking and making meals for 35 people again.

[RedSuedeShoes]

Oh, heck no! Enjoy your holiday! And good for you!

I did the same thing for a couple years when I had babies. We don't have extended family around, so it's usually me trying to do it all myself for our family. My husband typically only has Thursday off, so I spend the entire "holiday" in the kitchen and am completely wiped out by the end. Not worth it for one meal! I'm in the midst of trying to figure out how to protect my own sanity and enjoy the day myself this year.

[karstmama]

no shame at all.

though let me tell you what my father's side used to do. he was one of 7. every year someone different would host. the host family made the turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, and tea (we're southern & drink *a lot* of tea.) everyone else brought sides & desserts. done.

[hillview]

um no. I just made restaurant reservations. It is SO nice not to have to cook on a day off!

[ellies mom]

Two years ago, I announced that I was done cooking Thanksgiving dinner. So we started eating out. It was a great decision. I enjoy the holiday so much more now. And I feel no guilt what. so. ever. Heck, we started eating out for Christmas dinner too.

Most years, it is just the four of us and we were spending so much money on the ingredients we only use once a year. I was spending all day cooking and then cleaning. The girls wouldn't touch most of what I made and I got sick of it.

It is your holiday too. And if this is something that helps you enjoy it and allows you to spend the time with those you are most thankful for, then go for it.

[kijip]

If you don't like to cook Thanksgiving, you don't like to cook Thanksgiving. No shame in that. For me the day is about cooking and I love mixing it up(crispy duck is my plan thus far) but we've done everything from Tandoori Turkey out at an Indian restaurant to a heat and serve spiral ham to taking a pie to a friend's house. It's all good. Anything that makes your day on a holiday better is certainly not a bad thing.

[codex57]

Why would you feel ashamed? The whole point of Thanksgiving is to be thankful for what you have. Feel thankful you live in a first world country where you can make enough to order wonderful food so you can enjoy the holidays without slaving away.

[Cam&Clay]

We are getting a turkey dinner from Wegmans this year because DS1 leaves for soccer training in London the next day and DH will be going with him. It's going to be crazy getting everything ready for such a huge trip so I already informed them that dinner was coming from somewhere else this year. We did it the Christmas I was pregnant with DS2 and it was just fine!

[AnnieW625]

we go out to eat almost every Thanksgiving. I love it. It is our tradition.

[mom_hanna]

Ahhhh. Good old Kowalski's! That was my neighborhood grocery store growing up. Loved it. Sounds like a great Thanksgiving to me!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I dont get why you'd feel guilty? You're having food, family & friends. Just b/c you didnt personally slave over a stove for days doesnt make it any less festive. The rest of us are just jealous and :bowdown: to you for havign the holiday you want.

:yeahthat:

[sste]

I would feel proud!!

I have found that the amount of help people have is sort of surprising once they open up. In my field- - and I am a professor for goodness sake - - I have had multiple colleagues hire cooking help on a weekly basis, shopping help, and personal assistants. Dh and I hired a personal chef for much of last summer to cook 3 meals per week as we felt like our evenings were too rushed with kids. I would view it as buying the time to relax and enjoy your kids!

[JenaW]

No shame at all! I'm jealous. If we had a decent option available locally to get a pre-made dinner, I'd be all over it. Dh wants to get Boston Market, but I wouldn't eat that on a regular day, let alone a holiday. But at 33 weeks preg with #7 and a fair amt of contractions, depending on what my OB says Monday, we may be eating turkey sandwiches with Oscar Meyer deli turkey on t-day ;)

J

[jacksmomtobe]

I think it s a great idea to have your food prepared that way you can spend your time enjoying family and friends which is really what it should be all about. Bonus is everyone enjoys a great meal too!

[ladysoapmaker]

I think that's a wonderful idea. If we didn't have family and friends so close (with whom we share baking/cooking with), I would do the same thing. No sense in trying to do it all and not have fun.

Jen

[fedoragirl]

After I read your post, OP, I really wanted to cancel all my Thanksgiving cooking and order out. Bwwaaa! I can't order out though. I would love to just decorate the table and invite people. I love Thanksgiving and really want to raise my kids with all the American holidays but boy, is it hard on me.
Good for you. I hope you really enjoy.

[Ceepa]

DH loves to handle Thanksgiving dinner so I've been off the hook for years. :loveeyes:

Unfortunately this year we're going to the ILs.

[Seitvonzu]

DH has been trying to get me to place the turkey dinner order since my #1 option of going to longwood gardens SOLD out :( i'm at 99% that i'm ordering a dinner...so far wegmans is the front runner (my friend announced that she ordered her dinner yesterday and that sorta made my plans more solid)

it's sorta weird to me since i usually do holidays HUGE and a pre-made holiday feels sorta "copout?" to me. the current plan is to make a pumpkin apple pie (we like the all in one!) and perhaps a pecan (MIL likes that). i'm also going to load up on adult beverages :)